Stephanie

““I can’t wait to die,” she told me while gazing at the stars. “I’m just so fucking exhausted trying to make the best of this shitty world. The day I die will be the best day of my life, I swear.“ - And I felt a piece of my heart crack at the realization that the world could be so cruel to someone so pure.”

My friend told me that the boy she’s talking to has been ignoring her for 17 hours. It made me laugh because she was so precise about the timing but it also brought back flashbacks. The days I’d be anxious and desperate for him to reply. I’d sit and wait and check my phone hundreds of times, only to be met with silence. I’d check if his Snapchat score went higher, wondering who he’s talking to and why he hasn’t replied to me. Am I too boring? Is he with friends and too ashamed to text me in their presence? My mind would race with all these possibilities and I was so naive to the truth: he didn’t like me. It took me half a year to come to the realization. A boy who truly wants you will make it known, don’t settle for anything less.

what turns you on

me: hello darkness my old friend

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”