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DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Kiana Khansmith
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
@theartofmadeline
Keni
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@prime-orpheus
warning: this blog contains death, unreality, and spiders
orpheus is an alternate version of @offical-osha and uses any pronouns. so does croverse!orpheus [#crorpheus], tiny offy [#loffy], wolf [#the big bad wolf], spider [#spider], recluse [#recluse], weaver [#weaver], and guilty!offy [#guiltyparty]
see #orpheuscore for aesthetics relating to orpheus, #breaking character for out of character posts, and #serious for serious posts
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[wolf appears behind marina with the scruff of a cat carefully held in its mouth. the cat is perfectly fine, though incredibly pissed off, if the scratches on wolf's face mean anything.]
@prime-orpheus
nice lion you caught
[wolf drops it on marina. it yowls, hisses, and clambers off of her.]
it's not a lion. [they pause and blink slowly.] is it? i've never seen a lion before.
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
‖ː‖`Is there shit to hunt in there, or is it just a lifeless wasteland`?‖ː‖
there may be things to hunt but i wouldnt recommend it
you will be alone and weak
‖ː‖`I'm a good hunter, I'm sure that I'll manage. Besides, I've gone without food for longer than a month before.` :]‖ː‖
then hopefully you return
you should with luck not be there long anyways
but we will see
‖ː‖`I don't die that easily, I'll be fine`!‖ː‖
we will see
open the nearest door i do not feel like coming to you my head hurts
Mac just opens the door and walks through.
[mac finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Mac just keeps standing there, looking around and waiting for something to happen.
[nothing happens yet. perhaps he should try to explore.]
She starts walking down the hallway, looking around as they go.
[a door appears. it's elaborately decorated with flower-like markings, made from some beautiful dark wood and etched with gold. the doorknob is perfectly polished.]
He cocks her head before going to open the door.
[it won't budge. its not locked, just stuck.]
*Jay approaches Croverse!Orpheus wearing a long sleeved crop top and denim booty shorts.*
You seem like fun, who are you?
@into-the-crowverse
ah... i am... orpheus?
[orpheus scrutinizes jay for a moment before nodding.]
who are you?
I'm Jay, nice to meet you.
jay. like a bird. it's good to meet you as well... uh... i like your outfit?
Thank you. I do put a lot of effort into my clothing choices, even though I do intend for other people to take them off of me most of the time.
...you're welcome????
So, what are you doing out here? There isn't too much to see.
exploring. it's been a while, i'm trying to figure out it all.
Exploring is quite fun, I must admit. Are you soul searching out here, then?
...you could say.
Is that because you're literally searching for a soul, or is there some other reason for you being vague?
[they blink at jay, seeming confused.]
I asked if you were soul searching, and you said "you could say". That answer sounds rather vague to me, so I assumed that you might be literally trying to find a soul.
oh. apologies, i'm... not very, ah, "there" right now. i am trying to soul search in the traditional sense. it is a bit of an odd situation though.
i do lack a soul, but i don't need one.
That is understandable. Finding oneself is always an enlightening experience. The scenery here is quite beautiful as well, I think.
[they nod and look around.]
Do you come here often, Orpheus?
i live here.
I didn't know that anyone lived out here. Apologies if I'm intruding on your privacy.
no worries. i've heard that OSHA is... in a state of semi-abandonment. a shame. it's a nice place... i miss what it used to be.
I've never been myself, but it was apparently very interesting. Someone should probably make a museum to it at some point.
i can take you. we're close.
Oh, you can? That would be wonderful!
[orpheus nods and abruptly picks up jay, seeming to try and tuck them under its arm.]
*Nyx doesn't complain, and just accepts the fact that nyx is being carried now.*
[orpheus opens up a door that... was not there before, and steps through it.]
[they're in a dark hallway, with dim, damaged lights that flicker on and off. the walls and the floor are made of some pristine white tile.]
[orpheus places jay down.]
we're here. this is not a very nice area, though.
*With a wave of nyx hands, teal and yellow lights circle around the two, illuminating the area with sweeping colors.*
Are there ever nice areas of long abandoned buildings?
not long abandoned. people were here only months ago.
[they smirk. it's strange, unnatural. it looks a bit intimidating with their tusk-like teeth.]
were. now, i'm here. but it is worse for wear.
Well, it certainly looks long abandoned. If people were here so recently then something terrible must have happened for the place to deteriorate this quickly.
it was well deserved. now, come.
[orpheus trots down the hallway.]
down to my little den.
I didn't know you had a place here, that's incredibly interesting.
it's hard work keeping it out of the empire's eye.
[orpheus stops, and glances over at jay.]
i trust you'll keep quiet.
I know how to keep a secret, I've got a few of my own.
how mysterious.
[orpheus has a flat, unimpressed tone, but their eyes sparkle with amusement.]
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
‖ː‖`Is there shit to hunt in there, or is it just a lifeless wasteland`?‖ː‖
there may be things to hunt but i wouldnt recommend it
you will be alone and weak
‖ː‖`I'm a good hunter, I'm sure that I'll manage. Besides, I've gone without food for longer than a month before.` :]‖ː‖
then hopefully you return
you should with luck not be there long anyways
but we will see
‖ː‖`I don't die that easily, I'll be fine`!‖ː‖
we will see
open the nearest door i do not feel like coming to you my head hurts
Mac just opens the door and walks through.
[mac finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Mac just keeps standing there, looking around and waiting for something to happen.
[nothing happens yet. perhaps he should try to explore.]
She starts walking down the hallway, looking around as they go.
[a door appears. it's elaborately decorated with flower-like markings, made from some beautiful dark wood and etched with gold. the doorknob is perfectly polished.]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
You know what? I think this could be fun. Where do I meet you to help with this?
the nearest door i will find you
Oh hell yeah. So I should just... start opening doors?
Right, right. Opening doors... now.
Damn this is a heavy door. Or maybe it is stuck a little
hold on
[after a moment, the door bursts open, and orpheus emerges.]
Huh. Felt like I was holding on for ages. Impressive door obliterating skills though
yes i did not realize how flimsy that door was
come on in
Will do
*He idly wanders over, heading over to Orpheus.*
[orpheus holds the door open, almost seeming impatient.]
*Sargon, being Sargon, absolutely does not notice, and enters the door in a far more casual pace than Orpheus might like. But he does enter*
[sargon finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
[the door shuts behind him. if he were to turn, he'd find it gone.]
*Sargon, being Sargon, doesn't even look back*
Huh! Very found footage horror movie of you. Quite creepypasta even. Maybe even a little analogue horror.
*Sargon very clearly has no idea what any of these words mean*
[nobody replies. probably a good thing, because the nearest being capable of understanding english would've killed him for that.]
[Rift connection established]
>Drones engage in immediate exploration of alien dimension.
>Soldiers stand guard at Rift until further notice.
>Engineers maintain Rift stability.
>Report back to main O.R.C. base once safe territory is established.
[orpheus observes from a safe distance as the drones explore their hallways.]
*Jay approaches Croverse!Orpheus wearing a long sleeved crop top and denim booty shorts.*
You seem like fun, who are you?
@into-the-crowverse
ah... i am... orpheus?
[orpheus scrutinizes jay for a moment before nodding.]
who are you?
I'm Jay, nice to meet you.
jay. like a bird. it's good to meet you as well... uh... i like your outfit?
Thank you. I do put a lot of effort into my clothing choices, even though I do intend for other people to take them off of me most of the time.
...you're welcome????
So, what are you doing out here? There isn't too much to see.
exploring. it's been a while, i'm trying to figure out it all.
Exploring is quite fun, I must admit. Are you soul searching out here, then?
...you could say.
Is that because you're literally searching for a soul, or is there some other reason for you being vague?
[they blink at jay, seeming confused.]
I asked if you were soul searching, and you said "you could say". That answer sounds rather vague to me, so I assumed that you might be literally trying to find a soul.
oh. apologies, i'm... not very, ah, "there" right now. i am trying to soul search in the traditional sense. it is a bit of an odd situation though.
i do lack a soul, but i don't need one.
That is understandable. Finding oneself is always an enlightening experience. The scenery here is quite beautiful as well, I think.
[they nod and look around.]
Do you come here often, Orpheus?
i live here.
I didn't know that anyone lived out here. Apologies if I'm intruding on your privacy.
no worries. i've heard that OSHA is... in a state of semi-abandonment. a shame. it's a nice place... i miss what it used to be.
I've never been myself, but it was apparently very interesting. Someone should probably make a museum to it at some point.
i can take you. we're close.
Oh, you can? That would be wonderful!
[orpheus nods and abruptly picks up jay, seeming to try and tuck them under its arm.]
*Nyx doesn't complain, and just accepts the fact that nyx is being carried now.*
[orpheus opens up a door that... was not there before, and steps through it.]
[they're in a dark hallway, with dim, damaged lights that flicker on and off. the walls and the floor are made of some pristine white tile.]
[orpheus places jay down.]
we're here. this is not a very nice area, though.
*With a wave of nyx hands, teal and yellow lights circle around the two, illuminating the area with sweeping colors.*
Are there ever nice areas of long abandoned buildings?
not long abandoned. people were here only months ago.
[they smirk. it's strange, unnatural. it looks a bit intimidating with their tusk-like teeth.]
were. now, i'm here. but it is worse for wear.
Well, it certainly looks long abandoned. If people were here so recently then something terrible must have happened for the place to deteriorate this quickly.
it was well deserved. now, come.
[orpheus trots down the hallway.]
down to my little den.
I didn't know you had a place here, that's incredibly interesting.
it's hard work keeping it out of the empire's eye.
[orpheus stops, and glances over at jay.]
i trust you'll keep quiet.
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
You know what? I think this could be fun. Where do I meet you to help with this?
the nearest door i will find you
Oh hell yeah. So I should just... start opening doors?
Right, right. Opening doors... now.
Damn this is a heavy door. Or maybe it is stuck a little
hold on
[after a moment, the door bursts open, and orpheus emerges.]
Huh. Felt like I was holding on for ages. Impressive door obliterating skills though
yes i did not realize how flimsy that door was
come on in
Will do
*He idly wanders over, heading over to Orpheus.*
[orpheus holds the door open, almost seeming impatient.]
*Sargon, being Sargon, absolutely does not notice, and enters the door in a far more casual pace than Orpheus might like. But he does enter*
[sargon finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
[the door shuts behind him. if he were to turn, he'd find it gone.]
Hi, I heard you wanted someone to help with an expedition? I like exploring new places! Especially if there are rocks. :)
@geologist-osha
there are no rocks
that i want you to touch that is
but i will appreciate the help nonetheless
"Oh, that's okay! :)" Rock pats rocks pockets. "I brought my own, just in case. What do you need me to do?"
follow me
[orpheus walks away, moving quickly. you'll have to powerwalk to catch up.]
Mica follows, keeping up surprisingly easily. But then he was tall, and more on the athletic side. And the tiles under eyr feet seemed to creak and shift ever so slightly.
"What else? Is there anything in particular I need to do once inside the place?"
wander around and explore until i come for you
do not open any doors
[orpheus turns around, giving rock a sharp look.]
and i mean it
do not open any doors whatever you do
because if you somehow leave the hallways i cannot help you and you will have to find your own way back home
"Okay!" Ey nods, smiling still. He didn't seem at all alarmed by Orpheus's serious expression. "I won't then, so you don't worry. I'm pretty good at finding my way places that have rocks, so I would probably be fine? But I won't risk it..."
do not
[orpheus opens up a door that wasn't there beforehand.]
are you ready
"Yes!" Mica confidently strides through the door.
[micah finds rockself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Mica frowns, but continues on. Rock idly wishes he'd brought a mask of some kind, breathing in around all that mold probably wasn't healthy...
[it indeed does not smell great here, but nothing like rot. the hallways carry a strong, stale chemical smell, like a hospital. sterile.]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
‖ː‖`Is there shit to hunt in there, or is it just a lifeless wasteland`?‖ː‖
there may be things to hunt but i wouldnt recommend it
you will be alone and weak
‖ː‖`I'm a good hunter, I'm sure that I'll manage. Besides, I've gone without food for longer than a month before.` :]‖ː‖
then hopefully you return
you should with luck not be there long anyways
but we will see
‖ː‖`I don't die that easily, I'll be fine`!‖ː‖
we will see
open the nearest door i do not feel like coming to you my head hurts
Mac just opens the door and walks through.
[mac finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Mac just keeps standing there, looking around and waiting for something to happen.
[nothing happens yet. perhaps he should try to explore.]
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
You know what? I think this could be fun. Where do I meet you to help with this?
the nearest door i will find you
Oh hell yeah. So I should just... start opening doors?
Right, right. Opening doors... now.
Damn this is a heavy door. Or maybe it is stuck a little
hold on
[after a moment, the door bursts open, and orpheus emerges.]
Huh. Felt like I was holding on for ages. Impressive door obliterating skills though
yes i did not realize how flimsy that door was
come on in
Will do
*He idly wanders over, heading over to Orpheus.*
[orpheus holds the door open, almost seeming impatient.]
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
‖ː‖`Is there shit to hunt in there, or is it just a lifeless wasteland`?‖ː‖
there may be things to hunt but i wouldnt recommend it
you will be alone and weak
‖ː‖`I'm a good hunter, I'm sure that I'll manage. Besides, I've gone without food for longer than a month before.` :]‖ː‖
then hopefully you return
you should with luck not be there long anyways
but we will see
‖ː‖`I don't die that easily, I'll be fine`!‖ː‖
we will see
open the nearest door i do not feel like coming to you my head hurts
Mac just opens the door and walks through.
[mac finds himself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Hi, I heard you wanted someone to help with an expedition? I like exploring new places! Especially if there are rocks. :)
@geologist-osha
there are no rocks
that i want you to touch that is
but i will appreciate the help nonetheless
"Oh, that's okay! :)" Rock pats rocks pockets. "I brought my own, just in case. What do you need me to do?"
follow me
[orpheus walks away, moving quickly. you'll have to powerwalk to catch up.]
Mica follows, keeping up surprisingly easily. But then he was tall, and more on the athletic side. And the tiles under eyr feet seemed to creak and shift ever so slightly.
"What else? Is there anything in particular I need to do once inside the place?"
wander around and explore until i come for you
do not open any doors
[orpheus turns around, giving rock a sharp look.]
and i mean it
do not open any doors whatever you do
because if you somehow leave the hallways i cannot help you and you will have to find your own way back home
"Okay!" Ey nods, smiling still. He didn't seem at all alarmed by Orpheus's serious expression. "I won't then, so you don't worry. I'm pretty good at finding my way places that have rocks, so I would probably be fine? But I won't risk it..."
do not
[orpheus opens up a door that wasn't there beforehand.]
are you ready
"Yes!" Mica confidently strides through the door.
[micah finds rockself looking down a long hallway, dimly illuminated by flickering out-of-place fluorescent lights that hum aggressively. the old floral wallpaper is peeling, rotting away, revealing molded and decayed wood behind it. the floor has shitty beige carpet with ambiguous stains.]
Hi, I heard you wanted someone to help with an expedition? I like exploring new places! Especially if there are rocks. :)
@geologist-osha
there are no rocks
that i want you to touch that is
but i will appreciate the help nonetheless
"Oh, that's okay! :)" Rock pats rocks pockets. "I brought my own, just in case. What do you need me to do?"
follow me
[orpheus walks away, moving quickly. you'll have to powerwalk to catch up.]
Mica follows, keeping up surprisingly easily. But then he was tall, and more on the athletic side. And the tiles under eyr feet seemed to creak and shift ever so slightly.
"What else? Is there anything in particular I need to do once inside the place?"
wander around and explore until i come for you
do not open any doors
[orpheus turns around, giving rock a sharp look.]
and i mean it
do not open any doors whatever you do
because if you somehow leave the hallways i cannot help you and you will have to find your own way back home
"Okay!" Ey nods, smiling still. He didn't seem at all alarmed by Orpheus's serious expression. "I won't then, so you don't worry. I'm pretty good at finding my way places that have rocks, so I would probably be fine? But I won't risk it..."
do not
[orpheus opens up a door that wasn't there beforehand.]
are you ready
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
‖ː‖`Is there shit to hunt in there, or is it just a lifeless wasteland`?‖ː‖
there may be things to hunt but i wouldnt recommend it
you will be alone and weak
‖ː‖`I'm a good hunter, I'm sure that I'll manage. Besides, I've gone without food for longer than a month before.` :]‖ː‖
then hopefully you return
you should with luck not be there long anyways
but we will see
‖ː‖`I don't die that easily, I'll be fine`!‖ː‖
we will see
open the nearest door i do not feel like coming to you my head hurts
hello i need someone to help me with my hallways
nothing big i just want to lead someone inside
bring supplies you could be there for a minute or a month
You know what? I think this could be fun. Where do I meet you to help with this?
the nearest door i will find you
Oh hell yeah. So I should just... start opening doors?
Right, right. Opening doors... now.
Damn this is a heavy door. Or maybe it is stuck a little
hold on
[after a moment, the door bursts open, and orpheus emerges.]
Huh. Felt like I was holding on for ages. Impressive door obliterating skills though
yes i did not realize how flimsy that door was
come on in
