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When life gives you lemons, you make Saphitoria. Irl stuff has been stressful and Actually really not good recently, but Saphitoria eeeyaaahaggahahshsgg yk <3...
I'm still writing a longfic for them but it's really hard trying to string everything together without making things too dramatic or like, I guess, out of character?
There's a very specific characterization for the two in my head that I don't think many people really touch on, and a very specific tone/nature the fic is gonna have and it's not going to be anything alike the game I think... It's gonna be really hard to get it the way I want it to be, so I want to take my time on it
but also I'm the biggest bum on earth, this is gonna get finished in 10 yrs omd LMFAO
Waking up in a cold sweat. Hello. More Saphitoria. For those who gaf
I've been inactive on like every social media except discord. 2 of my friends started playing Reborn recently and, well, I was rewatching a lot of the scenes I liked of Victoria. Aaaand it reawakened my love for these 2... guh.... Here.
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I don't normally share my fanfics here cus i get mega embarrassed but, yeah okay, whatever, I liked this one. It fuelled my saphitoria cravings for the month
Saphitoria fanfic, 4.8k words, hurt/comfort. Have fun or don't. I wrote this on a whim </3
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58435213
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
I need a Victoria Meowlow mod where she goes to therapy and cuddles with Saphira Belrose. Clock it. đđ
Its so interesting how her character develops/degrades throughout the course of the game especially when we're presented with hints or implications of her emotional instability and her self-loathing at the beginning of the game.
And UGH; I'm a sucker for characters like her, especially the whole trope of putting up a guard so she could hide her own incompetence/self-doubt. It makes me genuinely so sad over how her arc ended with her being told to go back to that ascetic personality she's always been kinda Forced To Have (even before Kiki's death.) She's such a sad wet cat, having the worst case of survivor's guilt and drowning herself in work so she could avoid confronting those emotions that she has. Even then, I feel like her obsession over paperwork and helping Reborn city, some parts of it is just to mitigate the guilt from Kiki's death; going far and beyond to the point of fatigue so she could fill that Kiki-shaped void.
It actually makes my heart break how much she's willing to help others, while not being able to really recognize that she is not as okay as she makes herself out to be....... She's clenching her fist 32 times a day then goes back to jury duty and doesn't want to acknowledge it, like, at All.
Ugh. Whatever. Who gaf about Victoria Marlow anyways, certainly not meeee
What if we hung out and talked about our buried feelings together for 4 straight hours đłđł
Got my wisdom teeth taken out today! I made this yesterday in an attempt to draw one last saphitoria piece before the operation as like, reassurance LOL
so saaad that we donât see Victoria for ever bc I want to talk to her I want to see her I want to force people to think about her atlas complex which basically puppets her from the inside out and forces her into situations that benefit neither others nor her for how much she is ignoring the core of her being to instead pedestal her ingrained sense of responsibility for burdens that were never hers or never shouldâve been dumped on her in the first place & how the way she views herself has turned her from âVictoriaâ into an avatar of mediation and sensibility that she feels obligated to perpetuate because sh
No im NOT done Iâm SICK Iâm sick thinking about her thinking about the differences between e18 and e19 especially
at least in e18, you get the sense that she IS the head apprentice, because she mentions Kiki is training her to take over, but in e19 it feels only impliedâshe is outright forced into leadership and she is miserable every time you see her next until she crumbles into rage and what she gets is more of the same thing over and over, that her anger has to be repressed and i canât remember a single instance in which her feelings are ever accepted until she gets marshadowâd, and even then itâs HER doing the accepting because no one would look at her and understand.
âThis wonât help you move forwardâ and âis this what she would wantâ over and over like she hasnât spent years learning to clear her mind and control herself. cal says âsheâs lost controlâ, yeah, she has, but isnât that understandable?? because sheâs so deep into âfeeling the voidâ that even when that facade breaks she feels ashamed for 99% of her negative emotions, even the ones she knows are justified.
how much of Victoria is actually her, besides her kindness, and not just teachings that for her were more restrictive than helpful? how many times did she smooth herself down with apophyll grade sandpaper to be palatable, to be better, to be more likeable? to be more sensible?
Is it just my projection or can you feel her seethe even before Pyrous, under a hundred layers of lies to herself and about herself that were taught to her because of how good she was at repression? Is she there because sheâs good at pretending to be emotionless, good at being mediator, babysitter, glorified mom friend, and instead of getting her some fucking help she got more and more responsibilities?? or is she just there to be nice rival âstraight manâ friend with cool but brief breakout arc. Lindsey can you hear me god itâs so dark
I ABSOLUTELY GET YOU DUDE!!! Jazz sent me this and I'm coming out of the inactivity woodworks 'cus I think Vicky had soooo much lost potential other than being the 'mom friend' or the mediator of the group, especially when it came to her few self-deprecating, guilt-ridden dialogue that comes in her moments in-game. đ
She makes me so sad, a lot of what she does for Reborn and for other people are in the lens of what she thinks a 'Mentor' (or a 'Sensei') would act like I think... Her drowning herself in paperwork for months; like how much of it is just to fill that void that Kiki had left after her death? How much of it is her own self-gratification and (like you said) her own self-ingrained responsibilities that should have never been hers in the first place?
It's heavily implied throughout her arc that she wasn't ever ready to become the Sensei of Apophyll, or to take on any sort-of responsibilities that would require her to be sensible. She is so intensely disconnected from her own emotions that she doesn't even want to necessarily process what she's felt in the game, she doesn't address it nor acknowledge it until (iirc) the Marshadow quest. Whenever the game is hinting at that whirlwind of anger and grief (E.g the Devon Corp arc), it's so subtly peppered in, and she doesn't even really, like, address it: She just ends it off with a "Really?" (after the player wins) and a "You had always been the better one out of all of us anyways."
I think what makes me really upset that a lot of people just outright miss on how Vicky's facade is meant to be broken down and dissected; like, under all that layers of kindness and stability and whatnot, she's so intensely emotional in all the ways Cal was. LIKEE AARRGGH You are not the only one who's obsessed over her, dude.
YES EXACTLY!! Thereâs so much of Victoria left untouched because of how the narrative reacts to her situation, and especially because of how people are just trained and primed to take the âstraight-man girl of the groupâ characters at face value. And the biggest thing is really that the game doesnât address the fact that her issues⌠were never handled by anyone. Much less herself!!!!
Sure, Cal gets by on his own, but Victoria is canonically incredibly social, and whenever anyone talks to her about her problems, itâs always something like âanger wonât help youâ. Victoria has to solve her problems without anyone really caring to completely recognize her difficulties, basically singlehanded,and the issue with that is both that being the problem and that the MC always beats her to the punch. She feels like she has to do everything alone, so when she does manage any of it, itâs only more isolating. But the things that drive her (finding team meteor, revenge, her and Calâs situation) the MC always gets to first, which i would say only made her feel more inadequate.
It really makes me sad what her epilogue ended up being, because despite it being obvious to me that she WOULD still go back to Apophyll to be a âspiritual teacherâ or swagever, because it means so much to her⌠it doesnât really address anything else. In Cainâs epilogue sheâs even still part of the league management, which is insane, considering how it was basically said over and over how much she hated the work. Which like. That really sucks! Especially when several other characterâs arcs are tied up pretty well! Idk it feels like she canât ever really abandon that part of her telling her to shoulder these responsibilities, even after everything is over⌠hurts so bad man
I feel you so much on the last part!! You took the words right out my mouth man, I feel as though a lot of Victoria's problems can be chalked up to how explosive and how turbulent she actually is past the kindness and the gentle nature she puts on and how people react to it; the game doesn't address it, the characters don't address it and it feels so agghh... It feels really bad, especially when she's completely miserable for like the second half of the game (Post-Kiki, pre-Marshadow iirc). Like, I don't want her to feel as though she has to keep those explosive emotions of hers pent up. And, with how the game tied up her arc, it feels like she can't ever really break free from that disconnection of understanding her own survivor's guilt and the actions/responsibilities that results from it T_T Even more-so that the characters themselves just tell her to "let go" or whatever, and she's just like "Okay," despite how deep her emotions actually go!!
She doesn't have an outlet to really let these types of things out, not when most of the characters disregard her vitriol and anger and everything that contrasts with the facade she's built. I completely understand that Forgiveness is one of the biggest themes in Reborn, but sometimes, I feel as though it does a disservice to the characters in the game. (Looking at Laura xd)
So many thoughts, I don't mind the replies by the way! I love talking about Victoria Marlow to... pretty much anyone. It sucks that she gets side-lined by both the game AND the majority of the community, haha. I stay as a Victoria Marlow trooper until the end of time, though. It's been like, what, 2 years since I finished Reborn? I still really like Victoria Marlow, she is such an interesting specimen.
You get it !!! for real Victoria is sooo unbelievably interesting sheâs one of my Favorite characters but in forcing the games themes it kind of detracts from her..
ironically despite reborn's length the amount of time we're allowed to spend with some characters is really short and makes it so a lot of things have to be sized down or shrunk so there was just No Time spent on Victoria once she stopped being a main rival..
like with her revenge path. her not achieving her revenge couldve totally gone hand in hand w/ saphira: emptiness in inability to fulfill her "purpose".. or her not being ABLE to fulfill her revenge bc of her morals couldâve had her interact more with laura in learning to accept that not being able to take a life isnt a weakness.. or even some kind of talk on how trying to conform to apophyll somewhat conditioned her a certain way (mercy/zen above all else despite what she feels). but instead they just went back to. "Sheâs Honorable So She Wonât Do It" and thats it. + how Cal's influence basically follows her entire second half of her arc and it's never fully addressed the wrong he did to her. ten million emotional misplays by Cal that are never actually talked about. itâs really saaaad its such missed potential !!!!! Iâve talked wayyy too much already about it but I agree with Everything you're saying so muchhh
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from a larger canvas u can find on my twt @/danirojasbae, i mainly use tumblr for bg3 and reborn posting. I always come back to reborn just for these 2. Happy late yuri day <3
Especially to them, theyre like, my favourite ship xd
so saaad that we donât see Victoria for ever bc I want to talk to her I want to see her I want to force people to think about her atlas complex which basically puppets her from the inside out and forces her into situations that benefit neither others nor her for how much she is ignoring the core of her being to instead pedestal her ingrained sense of responsibility for burdens that were never hers or never shouldâve been dumped on her in the first place & how the way she views herself has turned her from âVictoriaâ into an avatar of mediation and sensibility that she feels obligated to perpetuate because sh
No im NOT done Iâm SICK Iâm sick thinking about her thinking about the differences between e18 and e19 especially
at least in e18, you get the sense that she IS the head apprentice, because she mentions Kiki is training her to take over, but in e19 it feels only impliedâshe is outright forced into leadership and she is miserable every time you see her next until she crumbles into rage and what she gets is more of the same thing over and over, that her anger has to be repressed and i canât remember a single instance in which her feelings are ever accepted until she gets marshadowâd, and even then itâs HER doing the accepting because no one would look at her and understand.
âThis wonât help you move forwardâ and âis this what she would wantâ over and over like she hasnât spent years learning to clear her mind and control herself. cal says âsheâs lost controlâ, yeah, she has, but isnât that understandable?? because sheâs so deep into âfeeling the voidâ that even when that facade breaks she feels ashamed for 99% of her negative emotions, even the ones she knows are justified.
how much of Victoria is actually her, besides her kindness, and not just teachings that for her were more restrictive than helpful? how many times did she smooth herself down with apophyll grade sandpaper to be palatable, to be better, to be more likeable? to be more sensible?
Is it just my projection or can you feel her seethe even before Pyrous, under a hundred layers of lies to herself and about herself that were taught to her because of how good she was at repression? Is she there because sheâs good at pretending to be emotionless, good at being mediator, babysitter, glorified mom friend, and instead of getting her some fucking help she got more and more responsibilities?? or is she just there to be nice rival âstraight manâ friend with cool but brief breakout arc. Lindsey can you hear me god itâs so dark
I ABSOLUTELY GET YOU DUDE!!! Jazz sent me this and I'm coming out of the inactivity woodworks 'cus I think Vicky had soooo much lost potential other than being the 'mom friend' or the mediator of the group, especially when it came to her few self-deprecating, guilt-ridden dialogue that comes in her moments in-game. đ
She makes me so sad, a lot of what she does for Reborn and for other people are in the lens of what she thinks a 'Mentor' (or a 'Sensei') would act like I think... Her drowning herself in paperwork for months; like how much of it is just to fill that void that Kiki had left after her death? How much of it is her own self-gratification and (like you said) her own self-ingrained responsibilities that should have never been hers in the first place?
It's heavily implied throughout her arc that she wasn't ever ready to become the Sensei of Apophyll, or to take on any sort-of responsibilities that would require her to be sensible. She is so intensely disconnected from her own emotions that she doesn't even want to necessarily process what she's felt in the game, she doesn't address it nor acknowledge it until (iirc) the Marshadow quest. Whenever the game is hinting at that whirlwind of anger and grief (E.g the Devon Corp arc), it's so subtly peppered in, and she doesn't even really, like, address it: She just ends it off with a "Really?" (after the player wins) and a "You had always been the better one out of all of us anyways."
I think what makes me really upset that a lot of people just outright miss on how Vicky's facade is meant to be broken down and dissected; like, under all that layers of kindness and stability and whatnot, she's so intensely emotional in all the ways Cal was. LIKEE AARRGGH You are not the only one who's obsessed over her, dude.
YES EXACTLY!! Thereâs so much of Victoria left untouched because of how the narrative reacts to her situation, and especially because of how people are just trained and primed to take the âstraight-man girl of the groupâ characters at face value. And the biggest thing is really that the game doesnât address the fact that her issues⌠were never handled by anyone. Much less herself!!!!
Sure, Cal gets by on his own, but Victoria is canonically incredibly social, and whenever anyone talks to her about her problems, itâs always something like âanger wonât help youâ. Victoria has to solve her problems without anyone really caring to completely recognize her difficulties, basically singlehanded,and the issue with that is both that being the problem and that the MC always beats her to the punch. She feels like she has to do everything alone, so when she does manage any of it, itâs only more isolating. But the things that drive her (finding team meteor, revenge, her and Calâs situation) the MC always gets to first, which i would say only made her feel more inadequate.
It really makes me sad what her epilogue ended up being, because despite it being obvious to me that she WOULD still go back to Apophyll to be a âspiritual teacherâ or swagever, because it means so much to her⌠it doesnât really address anything else. In Cainâs epilogue sheâs even still part of the league management, which is insane, considering how it was basically said over and over how much she hated the work. Which like. That really sucks! Especially when several other characterâs arcs are tied up pretty well! Idk it feels like she canât ever really abandon that part of her telling her to shoulder these responsibilities, even after everything is over⌠hurts so bad man
I feel you so much on the last part!! You took the words right out my mouth man, I feel as though a lot of Victoria's problems can be chalked up to how explosive and how turbulent she actually is past the kindness and the gentle nature she puts on and how people react to it; the game doesn't address it, the characters don't address it and it feels so agghh... It feels really bad, especially when she's completely miserable for like the second half of the game (Post-Kiki, pre-Marshadow iirc). Like, I don't want her to feel as though she has to keep those explosive emotions of hers pent up. And, with how the game tied up her arc, it feels like she can't ever really break free from that disconnection of understanding her own survivor's guilt and the actions/responsibilities that results from it T_T Even more-so that the characters themselves just tell her to "let go" or whatever, and she's just like "Okay," despite how deep her emotions actually go!!
She doesn't have an outlet to really let these types of things out, not when most of the characters disregard her vitriol and anger and everything that contrasts with the facade she's built. I completely understand that Forgiveness is one of the biggest themes in Reborn, but sometimes, I feel as though it does a disservice to the characters in the game. (Looking at Laura xd)
So many thoughts, I don't mind the replies by the way! I love talking about Victoria Marlow to... pretty much anyone. It sucks that she gets side-lined by both the game AND the majority of the community, haha. I stay as a Victoria Marlow trooper until the end of time, though. It's been like, what, 2 years since I finished Reborn? I still really like Victoria Marlow, she is such an interesting specimen.
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