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@priivateye
this is the official startercall! if you would want to interact with the one && only joe balooka, like or reblog (or DM me, if you wish to do neither) this post and i’ll set up a starter! remember to read my rules either here or here!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Case of the Missing Monkey
It's one of those days where you think... things can't get any worse. At least for other kids. The sound of little girls and boys crying their eyes out had been ringing in my ears since the first bell. I'd had one after another come into my office today, each of them with the same story: they'd brought in their favorite stuffed animal for show and tell, and by the end of class, their furry friend was gone. If it were one or two kids, it wouldn't be a problem. But today? There were six.
"What I wouldn't do for a can of chocolate sauce right now..." I wish aloud, though that dream is miles away right now. I'll never touch the stuff again, not after everything I've worked for. Now I'm respectable. Reputable. Repugnant. No, that-that isn't the right word. Whatever was the right word, it was the one that led me under the gym's bleachers.
The sound of shoes scuffing the worn-out floors lets me know I'm not the only one worried about this. "I'd know the sound of those size six sneakers anywhere. Still, I didn't think you'd show, Joe," I say without turning around. "Word on the street is there's been a line of thefts at the school, stuffed animal style. Toys vanishing left and right. Mind telling me what this's all about?"
@priivateye
🔎 - 【 ❝ Hoagie Gilligan. ❞ He didn’t want it to come to this, almost ready to heave a sigh as he pondered on what to say. Rachel McKenzie, or something of the sort, had come into his office earlier - and since then it has only gotten worse. 6 cases have been brought to his attention, and as much as he’d hate to admit ... that’s more than he’s able to handle alone. ❝ What brings you to th’case, Gilligan? ❞ He smarmily questioned, almost seeming angry if it weren’t for the snarky smile creeping up on his mug. ❝ I thought y’didn’t care fer workin’ on this sorta stuff wit me anymore. ❞ 】
"You know me, I always have my way of helping the innocent kids at this school," I say with a shrug, turning to rest my shoulders against the bleachers. Light filtered from between the slats, the sounds of kids playing dodgeball just beyond. "There's a lot of kids here who are currently missing a best friend, and I don't plan on letting them stay that way, so if I want the best chance at getting to the bottom of this, I'm going to have to rely on some help. Hope that doesn't make you crumble, Balooka."
The little jab at Joe's crooked apple crumble days might have hit him just right, but it gave me a little shudder. What disgusting, delectable victuals... Trying to get the thought of mouth-watering apple crumble out of my head, I reach into my pocket and pull out some photos. "Muffy Jenkins. Eggbert Eggleson. Even Timmy Warburton. All of these kids came into my office asking for help finding their stuffed animals. This isn't some normal robbery, and it definitely has some kind of connection. See anything in those photos?"
🔎 - 【 Despite cringing at the pun, Joe didn’t have the heart to ridicule him any further. Peevish as he was about Hoagie, he knew when the pilot was genuine about helping people. Plus, he needed the help, and Hoagie was all the help he could get. (and he was sure nobody would help him on the safety patrol...) ❝ A’ight, A’ight, y’got me.❞ Joe crossed his arms as he reluctantly walked closer, inspecting the photos with him. ❝ A connection? They’re all rainbow monkey’s, arenn’ey? ‘Least the girl that came inta my office earlier said hers got snatched as well. ❞ 】
"Exactly. Normally I'd think this was the work of a fanatic, some Rainbow-Monkey crazy kid. But the thing is, these aren't just any rainbow monkeys. These monkeys belong to the important kids, the ones who make a difference in this school. And they're all kids in fifth grade."
I pulled out one of the photos which might as well have been in sepia with how old it was. The picture was actually twofold - it had the first time seen on one side, with a little boy holding his very first Rainbow Monkey. On the back was taped the latest photo, the monkey now missing an ear, both its little button eyes, and had a whole lot of mustard smeared on it. "Somethin' tells me that our thief doesn't care what kind of Rainbow Monkey they get, as long as they get lots of 'em. But who would want a toy that's so beat up besides a collector?"
🔎 - 【 All kids in the fifth grade...and all of the ones with high status. That was the part he was tripping up on - The suspect was clearly a collector, but for some known reason, they were going after people everybody knows? ❝ Y’think they got a vendetta on ‘em, Gilligan? ❞ Joe inquired. ❝ ‘t seems like they almost wanted t’draw attention t’themself. Notta good move t’make if they wannus off their trail...but a good one if they want’a reaction out of somebody. ❞ Joe inspected the photo carefully beside Hoagie, his face perking up momentarily. He slipped out a ❝ Looks rare, too... ❞ before hastily tacking on a ‘not like i would know’ sort of denial with an embarrassed blush swiping across his face. 】
I had to stifle a chuckle and cast a side-eye at ol’ Joe; who’da guessed he was a closet monkey fan? But he’d raised a question that’d never crossed my mind. “Someone’s trying to make us catch them? Sounds a bit twisted,” I frowned, though now that I thought about it, it wasn’t too far-fetched. “A collector who wants to make a scene by taking only the monkeys that matter most. Mighty tall order, if you ask me, but no match for the two of us!”
With that, I held the pictures out for Joe to take. I had to show him he was my partner in all this and share the evidence. Sure we’d had our scrapes in the past, and I trusted him about as far as I could out-eat him in a pie-eating contest, but right now we both needed the help. Maybe even more help, and I knew just the place. “Hey Balooka, ever thought of visiting Cairo?”
🔎 - 【 He took the photos from Gilligan’s hands, taking a second round of inspection. Bizarre as this was, he’d get to the bottom of this, somehow. He’d never admit it, but he was sort of glad that Gilligan had called him to help at a time like this. A case like this should never go cold...
❝ Cairo... ❞ The word escaped Joe’s mouth slowly - he was clearly deep in thought about it. He never liked to travel, but for the sake of this mission, he might as well have no choice. ❝ Never been, actually. Travellin’s not my forte. ❞ Joe dug the photos into his trenchcoat’s pockets after a bit. ❝ ...I’d be willin’ to go, though, just for th’mission. No slackin’ while we’re there, though. ❞ 】
[[ I TRIED TO OPEN MY JOE FOLDER AND IT CRASHED ]]
[[ you guys do NOT look at me. ignore the fact i dropped off the face of the earth. i accidentally forgot this blog existed and then got super attached to another pair of characters from knd. im so sorry ]]
Case of the Missing Monkey
It's one of those days where you think... things can't get any worse. At least for other kids. The sound of little girls and boys crying their eyes out had been ringing in my ears since the first bell. I'd had one after another come into my office today, each of them with the same story: they'd brought in their favorite stuffed animal for show and tell, and by the end of class, their furry friend was gone. If it were one or two kids, it wouldn't be a problem. But today? There were six.
"What I wouldn't do for a can of chocolate sauce right now..." I wish aloud, though that dream is miles away right now. I'll never touch the stuff again, not after everything I've worked for. Now I'm respectable. Reputable. Repugnant. No, that-that isn't the right word. Whatever was the right word, it was the one that led me under the gym's bleachers.
The sound of shoes scuffing the worn-out floors lets me know I'm not the only one worried about this. "I'd know the sound of those size six sneakers anywhere. Still, I didn't think you'd show, Joe," I say without turning around. "Word on the street is there's been a line of thefts at the school, stuffed animal style. Toys vanishing left and right. Mind telling me what this's all about?"
@priivateye
🔎 - 【 ❝ Hoagie Gilligan. ❞ He didn’t want it to come to this, almost ready to heave a sigh as he pondered on what to say. Rachel McKenzie, or something of the sort, had come into his office earlier - and since then it has only gotten worse. 6 cases have been brought to his attention, and as much as he’d hate to admit ... that’s more than he’s able to handle alone. ❝ What brings you to th’case, Gilligan? ❞ He smarmily questioned, almost seeming angry if it weren’t for the snarky smile creeping up on his mug. ❝ I thought y’didn’t care fer workin’ on this sorta stuff wit me anymore. ❞ 】
"You know me, I always have my way of helping the innocent kids at this school," I say with a shrug, turning to rest my shoulders against the bleachers. Light filtered from between the slats, the sounds of kids playing dodgeball just beyond. "There's a lot of kids here who are currently missing a best friend, and I don't plan on letting them stay that way, so if I want the best chance at getting to the bottom of this, I'm going to have to rely on some help. Hope that doesn't make you crumble, Balooka."
The little jab at Joe's crooked apple crumble days might have hit him just right, but it gave me a little shudder. What disgusting, delectable victuals... Trying to get the thought of mouth-watering apple crumble out of my head, I reach into my pocket and pull out some photos. "Muffy Jenkins. Eggbert Eggleson. Even Timmy Warburton. All of these kids came into my office asking for help finding their stuffed animals. This isn't some normal robbery, and it definitely has some kind of connection. See anything in those photos?"
🔎 - 【 Despite cringing at the pun, Joe didn’t have the heart to ridicule him any further. Peevish as he was about Hoagie, he knew when the pilot was genuine about helping people. Plus, he needed the help, and Hoagie was all the help he could get. (and he was sure nobody would help him on the safety patrol...) ❝ A’ight, A’ight, y’got me.❞ Joe crossed his arms as he reluctantly walked closer, inspecting the photos with him. ❝ A connection? They’re all rainbow monkey’s, arenn’ey? ‘Least the girl that came inta my office earlier said hers got snatched as well. ❞ 】
"Exactly. Normally I'd think this was the work of a fanatic, some Rainbow-Monkey crazy kid. But the thing is, these aren't just any rainbow monkeys. These monkeys belong to the important kids, the ones who make a difference in this school. And they're all kids in fifth grade."
I pulled out one of the photos which might as well have been in sepia with how old it was. The picture was actually twofold - it had the first time seen on one side, with a little boy holding his very first Rainbow Monkey. On the back was taped the latest photo, the monkey now missing an ear, both its little button eyes, and had a whole lot of mustard smeared on it. "Somethin' tells me that our thief doesn't care what kind of Rainbow Monkey they get, as long as they get lots of 'em. But who would want a toy that's so beat up besides a collector?"
🔎 - 【 All kids in the fifth grade...and all of the ones with high status. That was the part he was tripping up on - The suspect was clearly a collector, but for some known reason, they were going after people everybody knows? ❝ Y’think they got a vendetta on ‘em, Gilligan? ❞ Joe inquired. ❝ ‘t seems like they almost wanted t’draw attention t’themself. Notta good move t’make if they wannus off their trail...but a good one if they want’a reaction out of somebody. ❞ Joe inspected the photo carefully beside Hoagie, his face perking up momentarily. He slipped out a ❝ Looks rare, too... ❞ before hastily tacking on a ‘not like i would know’ sort of denial with an embarrassed blush swiping across his face. 】
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Case of the Missing Monkey
It's one of those days where you think... things can't get any worse. At least for other kids. The sound of little girls and boys crying their eyes out had been ringing in my ears since the first bell. I'd had one after another come into my office today, each of them with the same story: they'd brought in their favorite stuffed animal for show and tell, and by the end of class, their furry friend was gone. If it were one or two kids, it wouldn't be a problem. But today? There were six.
"What I wouldn't do for a can of chocolate sauce right now..." I wish aloud, though that dream is miles away right now. I'll never touch the stuff again, not after everything I've worked for. Now I'm respectable. Reputable. Repugnant. No, that-that isn't the right word. Whatever was the right word, it was the one that led me under the gym's bleachers.
The sound of shoes scuffing the worn-out floors lets me know I'm not the only one worried about this. "I'd know the sound of those size six sneakers anywhere. Still, I didn't think you'd show, Joe," I say without turning around. "Word on the street is there's been a line of thefts at the school, stuffed animal style. Toys vanishing left and right. Mind telling me what this's all about?"
@priivateye
🔎 - 【 ❝ Hoagie Gilligan. ❞ He didn’t want it to come to this, almost ready to heave a sigh as he pondered on what to say. Rachel McKenzie, or something of the sort, had come into his office earlier - and since then it has only gotten worse. 6 cases have been brought to his attention, and as much as he’d hate to admit ... that’s more than he’s able to handle alone. ❝ What brings you to th’case, Gilligan? ❞ He smarmily questioned, almost seeming angry if it weren’t for the snarky smile creeping up on his mug. ❝ I thought y’didn’t care fer workin’ on this sorta stuff wit me anymore. ❞ 】
"You know me, I always have my way of helping the innocent kids at this school," I say with a shrug, turning to rest my shoulders against the bleachers. Light filtered from between the slats, the sounds of kids playing dodgeball just beyond. "There's a lot of kids here who are currently missing a best friend, and I don't plan on letting them stay that way, so if I want the best chance at getting to the bottom of this, I'm going to have to rely on some help. Hope that doesn't make you crumble, Balooka."
The little jab at Joe's crooked apple crumble days might have hit him just right, but it gave me a little shudder. What disgusting, delectable victuals... Trying to get the thought of mouth-watering apple crumble out of my head, I reach into my pocket and pull out some photos. "Muffy Jenkins. Eggbert Eggleson. Even Timmy Warburton. All of these kids came into my office asking for help finding their stuffed animals. This isn't some normal robbery, and it definitely has some kind of connection. See anything in those photos?"
🔎 - 【 Despite cringing at the pun, Joe didn’t have the heart to ridicule him any further. Peevish as he was about Hoagie, he knew when the pilot was genuine about helping people. Plus, he needed the help, and Hoagie was all the help he could get. (and he was sure nobody would help him on the safety patrol...) ❝ A’ight, A’ight, y’got me.❞ Joe crossed his arms as he reluctantly walked closer, inspecting the photos with him. ❝ A connection? They’re all rainbow monkey’s, arenn’ey? ‘Least the girl that came inta my office earlier said hers got snatched as well. ❞ 】
Case of the Missing Monkey
It's one of those days where you think... things can't get any worse. At least for other kids. The sound of little girls and boys crying their eyes out had been ringing in my ears since the first bell. I'd had one after another come into my office today, each of them with the same story: they'd brought in their favorite stuffed animal for show and tell, and by the end of class, their furry friend was gone. If it were one or two kids, it wouldn't be a problem. But today? There were six.
"What I wouldn't do for a can of chocolate sauce right now..." I wish aloud, though that dream is miles away right now. I'll never touch the stuff again, not after everything I've worked for. Now I'm respectable. Reputable. Repugnant. No, that-that isn't the right word. Whatever was the right word, it was the one that led me under the gym's bleachers.
The sound of shoes scuffing the worn-out floors lets me know I'm not the only one worried about this. "I'd know the sound of those size six sneakers anywhere. Still, I didn't think you'd show, Joe," I say without turning around. "Word on the street is there's been a line of thefts at the school, stuffed animal style. Toys vanishing left and right. Mind telling me what this's all about?"
@priivateye
🔎 - 【 ❝ Hoagie Gilligan. ❞ He didn’t want it to come to this, almost ready to heave a sigh as he pondered on what to say. Rachel McKenzie, or something of the sort, had come into his office earlier - and since then it has only gotten worse. 6 cases have been brought to his attention, and as much as he’d hate to admit ... that’s more than he’s able to handle alone. ❝ What brings you to th’case, Gilligan? ❞ He smarmily questioned, almost seeming angry if it weren’t for the snarky smile creeping up on his mug. ❝ I thought y’didn’t care fer workin’ on this sorta stuff wit me anymore. ❞ 】
[[ HEY, ]]
@kndleaderr liked for a starter!
🔎 - 【 … He eyed her down and back up again, skeptically, popping the sucker he’d been chewing on out of his mouth. ❝ Rachel McKenzie, huh? ❞ While it wouldn’t be by a whole lot, Joe’s heard of her. She’s important, is all he knows. Twiddling the lollipop between his fingers, he gave another beat of silence before continuing. ❝ What brings y’here, McKenzie? ‘Thought you would’a had a whole agency’s worth’a detectives before y’came to this hole ‘n the wall. ❞ 】
She glanced at him. Almost hurt that he’d call himself that.“ You are the only one I could come to.” She said as she had to take a moment. Her expression sad as she held a piece of paper in her hand.“ I lost her somewhere in the school. And it’s bring your stuffed animal to school day. I wanted to bring my special rainbow monkey. I did. But when class was over. I looked to the back table where we had them stored. And it was gone.. can you help..?” She asked.
🔎 - 【 ❝ Toy thievery, eh? ❞ He questioned. Usually he didn’t work with this kind of stuff, but lost toys were no laughing matter. Making a grabbing motion towards the paper in her hand, he resumed. ❝ Where d’ya suspect it went off ta? Any leads, witnesses, fishy people?❞ 】
@kndleaderr liked for a starter!
🔎 - 【 … He eyed her down and back up again, skeptically, popping the sucker he’d been chewing on out of his mouth. ❝ Rachel McKenzie, huh? ❞ While it wouldn’t be by a whole lot, Joe’s heard of her. She’s important, is all he knows. Twiddling the lollipop between his fingers, he gave another beat of silence before continuing. ❝ What brings y’here, McKenzie? ‘Thought you would’a had a whole agency’s worth’a detectives before y’came to this hole ‘n the wall. ❞ 】
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[[ CHANGELOG! ]] 1;; - WHOLE lotta icons!
2;; - A THIRD VERSE has been added, [joe balooka operative verse]! this is less of an au where hes an operative and more of a generalized swap au, so don’t be afraid to ask questions about his sector, his overall life, etc.!! they will be tagged with “ 2ECOND 2IGHT 2EER “. [[ a. - if you’re wondering what verse two is, it’s still in the works for now. sorry! [[ b. - the operative verse will have differently stylized icons to differ from the OG verse! likely, a hue shift or his operative number.
Ever tried for the knd? Or were looked over for Hoagie Gilligan?
🔎 - 【 ... ❝ The Kids Next Door..? ❞ The word sat sour in his mouth as he said it. ❝ Why would I ever sell myself out'ta THOSE jerks? Seems like trouble 'n a half ta me! ❞ 】
[[ oughh i do not want to steal ppls thunder..but a knd verse for this little bitch... ]]
“ Hey, what was your name again? I can’t remember . “
🔎 - 【 ❝...Did y'just ask me what my name is? ❞ Joe questioned in angered disbelief, scowling at the KND operative as if the name 'Joe Balooka' was common knowledge. What a blow to the ego... 】
@tchrspup liked for a starter!
🔎 - 【 𝕍alerie, of all people, was not one he’d be expecting to ever talk to in this moment - but with recent allegations concerning a certain teacher... ❝ I’ll cut right to the chase, ❞ He jestured to the seat across from him in the investigation room (a.k.a. a regular classroom who’s kids are currently dismissed for lunch) to get her to sit down. ❝ A little birdie told me that Mrs. Thompson’s got sometin’ hidden ‘bout ‘er. Care to spill? ❞ 】
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[[ where did you all come from ]]
i see knd , i follow knd
@ohwishes
[[ true that! but still: ]]
[[ where did you all come from ]]
