Pride Of Lions

I guess I will never speak again.

I have to feel nothing I have to put it away it has to go away put it back put it back I cant I want it gone I sont want to feel all I can feel is bad its all so bad I dont want to feel I dont want it

Bonnie needs so much attention and we don't give her enough attention why did I thibk i could do this why did I think we could have a puppy I cant even hold down a fucking job when all im doing is school I cant even function why did I think I could do this we don't even do her training every day why did I think this would work everything is falling apart I cant function but I have to why did I think I could do this

Fuck I also have to do the litter box today and thats gonna take me an hour bc its on carpet because I'm fucking stupid and awful

I needed this to be a homework day but now its not and I didnt do any fucking homework yesterday because I had to deal with an emergency all night and then I didn't sleep at all because it was just endless nightmares because I was already so upset. So now for my only remaining homework day I am running on less than 3 hours of sleep and I have to take a couple hours in the middle of it to go pick up a fucking car and its going to cost money to do that and I knew this was going to happen. I fucking knew this would happen it always does when we do too many things in one trip everybody crashes. and I'm always the one who fixes things and I can't anymore its literally killing me

Id kill myself if it wouldn't take everybody i love with me. Literally everyone. Because everyone in the world seems to be dependent on me for everything but I cant do it all I cant do any of it.