BigMoneyGrip

Decide on the kind of world you desire to live and create it for yourself. I’m not going to wait until I live in Paris to make it my state of mind. I’m not going to wait until I’m a millionaire to enjoy the luxuries of life.  And, I’m not going to wait for someone’s permission to create a life I love.  I know the feeling of the world I desire to live in.  Each day, I create the essence of that world for myself.

Have an Air of Mystery.  Transparency seems to be a popular term these days, giving people permission to spew their personal issues all over the web and with complete strangers.  Others operate behind brick walls, not letting anyone see the real person they are.  Neither is glamorous.  Share enough to intrigue and inspire and not so much that you give away your own sacredness.  My rule of thumb: share only when you have something valuable to offer.

Invest in the Details of Your Life.  Glamour is all about casting a spell (or feeling) into your everyday life. Artisan soaps, decadent candles, a beautiful place setting, sensual music and flowers in the home, just to name a few, are an affordable access into glamorous living.  Truly, it’s often the little things that feel the most glamorous.

Create a Secret Garden.  Glamourous ladies have struggles too, which is why it’s important for every woman to have her secret garden of mentors and close friends where she can openly share in a safe space.   As Brené Brown says, ““If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.”  Flying debris and glamour don’t go together.

Edit Your Life.  The mistake that many people make in striving for a more glamourous life is packing it with excess.  Unfortunately, this leads very little space for magic and enchantment.  Instead, it creates the antithesis of glamour: more overwhelm, responsibility and stress.  Glamour is magnified within simplicity.

Dress the Part.  Yes, glamour is so much deeper than style.  However, wearing sweat pants every day will never lead to a feeling of glamour. How you feel about yourself inside is expressed into everything you do, including how you dress.  Wear beautiful lingerie, your grandmother’s pearls or anything that transcends the ordinary.  And, a great pair of sunglasses is always glamorous.  Here is my favorite pair these days by Tom Ford (these are not for the lady who loses her glasses easily; if that’s you, check out these.)

Cultivate Your Calm. There is nothing glamorous about being a stressed out, hurried, overwhelmed and dramatic lady. Learn to breathe and be in control of your mind, not letting it control you.  Get the support and tools to create this inner peace. Without it, a glamourous life will be but a dream.  If you’d like some elegant mantras, read these.

Fall in Love.  The root of glamour is romanticism.  A woman in love with her life is alluring and intoxicating.  Her energy magnetizes people, opportunities and so much more.

Cultivate Your Mind.  Indulge your mind in the arts, culture, music, anything that inspires and expands your intellectual growth.  A woman who can speak another language (even if it’s just a bit), quote Proust or go in depth about the era of Jazz will surely enrapture her audience. Glamour is about figuring out what lights you up and bathing your mind in it.

Don’t Obsess over your Looks.  While it’s important to present yourself in a way that feels good to you, it’s not glamourous to obsess over it. I’m sure you know of that woman who only focuses on her external appearance to the detriment of truly connecting with the magic of her life and others.

“Femininity—also called womanhood—is defined as a set of characteristics, behaviors, and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is made up of both socially defined and biologically created factors. Femininity is an internal expression before it is an external appearance.”

The History of Black Womanhood

The suppression of femininity in black women mainly has its roots in racism, colorism and sexism. The societal circumstances that many black women live in forces them to take on roles out of survival, not choice. Many black women have been conditioned to perceive femininity has weakness so, as a way of protecting themselves, they suppress it. Instead of expressing their femininity, many black women have internalized the stereotypes that society projects on them. An example of this is the “strong, independent black woman” stereotype. This stereotype places pressure on the shoulders of black women to help everyone else while receiving little in return because of the idea that we’re strong enough to handle things on our own. This toxic concept of pseudo-strength forces black women to further suppress their true emotions and feelings. When the accumulation of suppressed emotion is finally expressed, we get labeled another stereotype—the “loud, angry black woman”. 

In some cases, the suppression of black femininity is even passed down generationally as black mothers can sometimes suppress their black daughters’ femininity. Many black girls, myself included, weren’t allowed to express their femininity during their childhood and adolescence.

Release the weight of this old paradigm.

Allow yourself to be feminine. Let go of the “strong, independent black woman” archetype. You are not obligated to carry this weight on your back. Your identity is not being a bag lady. It is not possible to develop your femininity when you’re dragging around stagnant weight. Let it go and build boundaries. Let go of your super-hero complex. Let go of the “obligation” to “save” other people. Set healthy boundaries and focus on yourself. Take care of yourself. Work on yourself. Care about yourself. Know your worth. Be so fully grounded in your self-worth that nothing and no one can take you out of your element. Give yourself the love, attention and care you’ve continuously extended to others. Be self full and fill your own cup. Commit to loving yourself and raise your standards.

Abundance Mindset vs. Scarcity Mindset

An abundance mindset is a mindset of confidence. Thinking abundantly means that you know you have enough and you will always receive. A scarcity mindset, however, is a mindset of lack. Thinking scarcely means that you feel you don’t have enough and you won’t receive. One mode of thinking is based on security and the other mode of thinking is based on insecurity. Society has conditioned us, as black women, to think with scarcity and accept less. To reclaim our femininity, we must cultivate an abundance mindset. 

Thinking abundantly means allowing ourselves to be open and receptive. Receptivity is an aspect of femininity. We must eradicate the “strong, independent black woman” mentality (scarcity mindset) and replace it with a receptivity mentality (abundance mindset). To be open, heal the source of what’s suppressing your femininity. To be receptive, practice accepting compliments, gifts and help with grace. Allow yourself to receive. Believe that you’re worthy of living a life filled with love, peace, respect, opportunity and stability.

The Role of The Media

Brands use the media to culturally appropriate and they often profit from it.

Black outrage is a marketing tactic that brands use to get more views, clicks and exposure. Aspects of black girlhood & womanhood (such as hairstyles, bodily features and style)  get picked apart and repackaged by brands under the guise of cultural appropriation which creates attention. Brands thrive off of any social media attention because its essentially free marketing.

Your attention is an investment. Attention is an important thing because it can condition your mentality. What you see and hear repeatedly eventually become a belief. Your beliefs will motivate the majority of your decisions and ultimately the way you carry yourself in life.

“Femininity is an internal expression before it is an external appearance.”

Femininity is essentially about expressing the fullness of your unique womanhood. Cultivating femininity is an inside job before all else. It’s about being honest with yourself and living in your truth. 

The Foundation of Femininity 

To express your femininity, you must feel safe and secure. The foundation of femininity is security. When we feel nurtured within ourselves and our environments, we grow more confident in our self-image and femininity. 

The Art of Connection

Become more secure within by connecting with yourself. To connect within, practice being present. In the present moment, you can connect deeper with yourself and your intuition. When you notice yourself spending too much time in your head, take a moment to reconnect with your body. Breathe slowly, root yourself within and become aware of your senses. See, feel, hear, touch, smell. Become intentional with your movements. Stand tall with confidence and poise. Speak calmly and clearly. Pause more often. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Embrace the now and flow with it.

Become more secure in your environment by making constructive changes that are in your control. Avoid spending your time being distracted, endlessly scrolling through social media and comparing your life to the lives of others. Be present in your own life. Fill your days with more meaningful connections, love, knowledge and laughter. Be mindful of what you allow into your inner and outer space. Choose things that add value to your life in all areas.

Confidence & Self Image 

“A flower doesn’t compete with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” — Zen Shin

Avoid placing other people on pedestals. Be concerned with yourself, your life and your goals. Try to avoid comparing yourself to other women. It’s never a competition, it’s an opportunity for sisterhood. Affirm and build relationships with other women. Know that there is enough for all of us.

In terms of both romantic and platonic relationships, know your worth and carry yourself with respect. Don’t settle for less than what your worth. Increase your standards and raise the bar higher for how you should be treated. Be sure that your friendships and relationships add to your life, not take away. Be around people who support, inspire, love, nurture and care for you.

In terms of yourself, who are you really? Go on a journey of self-exploration. Begin learning about yourself down to the details. Find ways to express yourself and embrace your individuality. Don’t be overly concerned with copying trends. Instead, create and experiment with your own personal style. Femininity is also about being creative. To nurture your creativity, take classes to such as writing, dancing, painting, sculpting, cooking and playing an instrument. 

Be Receptive

“She was created to be kissed, loved, and given flowers every day.” — juansen dizon

Develop an abundance mindset. Believe you’re worthy of a quality life. Believe you’re worthy of having your needs met. Believe you’re worthy of love, peace and respect. Only accept things that matches what you truly want for yourself. Think higher and bigger. Become mindful of your self-talk and speak affirmations to yourself daily.

Be receptive to your blessings. Learn when to act and when to allow. By leaning back and allowing, you cultivate trust and faith which then allows life to flow with ease. Be like a cup and allow things to flow into your life.  

Allow yourself to indulge in life’s simple pleasures. Allow yourself to be taken care of. Learn to accept compliments, gifts and help. Express gratitude and say ‘thank you’ more often. Let yourself feel: be warm, inviting, kind, vulnerable, emotional, sensitive and soft. Eradicate the any false connotation you have about those words in conjunction with femininity. There is power in being feminine. Being feminine allows you to become more attractive in the sense of attracting more love, ease and abundance into your life. 

Elegance & Sophistication

“Her witty sensuality, her dignity, her growing charm,” — Josephine Balmer

Cultivate elegance by bringing more relaxation and calmness into your day. Incorporate more leisure into your day. Avoid trying to constantly overfill your day with too much obligations and tasks. That’ll lead to burn-out. Let there be periods of time in your day dedicated to ease and quiet. Give yourself moments in the day to release and rest. 

Become the best version of yourself by committing to self-improvement. Develop your inner charisma by presenting yourself in high value and alluring way. Sharpen your social skills by learning etiquette. Travel more frequently, whether it be in your own city or to another country. Surround yourself with art & culture. Have personal hobbies: read literature, attend plays, visit museums, learn a new language, start journaling, take pictures, etc. Become educated on more topics and expand your intellect. Delve into your interests whether it be fashion, science, art, philosophy, psychology, anthropology or other subjects. Expand your taste in all areas of your life.

Take Care of Yourself 

“I am mine, before I am ever anyone else’s.” — nayyirah waheed

To nurture yourself, begin to prioritize self-care. Treat yourself like luxury. Take care of your health, your happiness and your energy. Create constructive habits in your daily routines that benefit your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Habits such as eating healthier, exercising more, stretching, getting adequate sleep, taking deep breaths and more.

Be content in your solitude. Find validation and fulfillment within. Avoid looking to other people, places or things to fill a void within. Begin to see yourself as one of your main sources of love. Pour love, care and respect into yourself. Set healthy boundaries with other people. Be compassionate but don’t let others drain you. You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you pour into your own cup first, the overflow can then be given to others. 

Put effort into your appearance and personal hygiene. When you look good, you feel good. Invest in quality perfumes and develop your signature scent. Fine tune your closet to clothing items that make you feel beautiful, feminine and confident. Add statement pieces and accessories to your outfits. Pamper yourself with face masks, manicures, pedicures, body exfoliations and more. Find skincare products that work for your skin. If you enjoy makeup, learn how to properly apply it to your specific skin tone and undertones. Work on presenting your best self daily until it becomes second nature.

Scan your personal space and begin to eradicate items that no longer add to your life. Let go of the old to create space for better. Donate, recycle and throw out old items that clutter your space. Add more beauty to your space. Decorate your home with items that make you feel good. Let your surroundings be a reflection of your personal vision.

Summary 

You guys asked for it, here it is! I’ll be editing this to organize it later.

Fifi Chachnil: A beautiful french brand making ultra glam girly lingerie. Unlike most lingerie stores, they also sell breathtaking clothing! I’m not very familiar with their sizing, so you would have to use a converter if you use western sizing.

Karolina Laskowska: Now this definitely isn’t a favourite brand of mine, as it isn’t quite my style. Though it’s very pricey for things like soft bras and harnesses, they have wonderful sales! (Or had…. they seem to have disappeared since the last time I checked? not sure). If you’re into strappy pieces, oriental print fabrics, and lace, I would check out this brand. Available size small-large.

Dotties Delights: A favourite brand of mine, I mean any brand that works with the wonderful Miss Mosh herself definitely has some credibility. They’re by no means cheap, running in at about 200$ a bra and 100$ for a pair of knickers (about 300$ for a bra and panty set). Their lingerie though, is surprisingly more affordable coming between about 80-150$. If you can afford this, I by all means encourage you to purchase so I can live through you (you should also buy me a set). They have a fairly large size range, but isn’t very plus sized friendly. 

What Katie Did: Definitely another favourite of mine. If you’re looking for beautiful vintage inspired pieces at an irresistible price look no further than this sob worthy brand. Their bras run between 50-70$ which is not bad at all for such beautiful products! You can get a full bra, panty, and garter set for about 150$ or less. Unreal! If you have a little money burning in your pocket check out their Gold Label collection. It runs a bit pricier but still absolutely nothing to scoff at. You can buy a whole set from that collection for about 175$. They offer sizes up to a DD!

Agent Provocateur: Now I have a bit to say about this brand. It’s become one of the leading competitors in the luxury lingerie universe, and rightfully so. They were built up on beautiful high quality products. Now unfortunately, I would be more eager to suggest another brand. They’re switched their production to asia, and though their prices have gone up, their quality (and designs in my opinion, which appear to appeal to the mass market more like victoria’s secret) have gone down. They do still carry some beautiful pieces, but it feels like their designs are less than luxurious for the most part now. They have fairly limited sizes, with some styles (usually the prettiest ones, sigh) only going up to a C or a D. Others go up to an E. 

Arabel: Very sweet, feminine, and lacey. Lots of pastel colours and soft designs. Not very plus size friendly, but you may be able to contact the owner to have something made. Their bra sizing is tricky (and on the smaller size), so you may need to use a converter. 

Almeida: They don’t have a ton of stock, but I had to add them to my list. Season after season they produce wonderful designs. Right now, it’s all pink, black, and leather (with some lace). Again they’re quite pricey but so beautiful!

Gossard: As you guys know Gossard is a brand i have nothing but good things to say about. I own 4 bras from them (unfortunately the panties and garterbelt i wanted sold out). They offer a huge range of sizes, styles, and colourways. My favourite is the Retrolution line (you will die, honestly it’s beautiful). On top of it all, their prices are beyond reasonable. Not to mention they have unbelievable sales on old seasons. They’re definitely big-boob friendly, and have ultra flattering styles. 

Bordelle: Bordelle is definitely another favourite luxury brand of mine. Super strappy, lots of elastic and hardware (wonderful if you’re in the kink community). Their sizes go from small-large, so unfortunately it’s kind of limited. If you have the means, I would absolutely recommend purchasing from them. Be wary they can be quite pricey! But totally worth it.

Journelle: Journelle is basically a distributer of various luxury lingerie brands. If you want to browse a bunch of beautiful lingerie in one convenient website La Journelle is a great place to start. With the large variety of brands that also means you have a wider variety of sizing, designs, and colours. They have something to fit everyone’s budget. 

Lascivious: Drool worthy! Lascivious consistently pumps out beautiful designer products. They also have amazing sales from previous seasons, so any budget can get excellent designs. I have nothing bad to say about this brand, honestly haha. Please check them out! Their designs are so, so beautiful.

La Perla: Not a personal favourite of mine, but a classic. They’re very expensive, but if you’re looking for more basic designs in luxury quality La Perla is a wonderful option. Be wary that only some countries can access their website, so you may have to shop their products through other shops like Nancy Meyer. 

Astuko Kudo: More latex, couture latex. Out of all the latex shops i know this one is my favourite. Atsuko Kudo leaves me speechless; literally. I’m trying to find the right way to describe them but no words i can string together does this justice. They offer sizes XS-XL, or a made to fit option. In addition to lingerie they have dresses, skirts, jackets, tops and more. All of which are to die for. Do yourself a favour and browse around.

Buttress and Snatch: I really believe this brand has something for anyone. Their designs are just too adorable for words, taking obvious influence from disney, burlesque, and kitsch. Unfortunately their sizing isn’t very generous (for most products), but if you can fit I envy the heck out of you! The bra pricing runs from about 140$-500$. 

Bluebella: Ok bluebella is so absolutely adorable, and totally affordable. You can even get bras for as low as 20$. They have a huge variety of styles, and generous sizing up to an E cup. To say the least, I really want probably about 80% of their products, and am happy to say they will actually fit me.

True & Co.: True & Co. is honestly wonderful. They even offer a quiz at the beginning of your shopping experience to help you find out what bras are best suited for you based on how your current bras fit. Most of their bras  run between 50-65$. They have lots of basics, as well as some more elegant and pretty bras. Their lingerie sets are also super pretty and really really cheap. Like 50$ for a set kind of cheap. Jump on that.

Mise En Cage: Like Journelle, they’re a market place for fine luxury lingerie like Bordelle, Tatu, Mise En Cage originals, and Kriss Soonik.

Bella Bella Boutique: Probably my favourite market for lingerie, they have unreal prices that give a total range. They stock some of my favourite brands and the most beautiful pieces so you can do all your shopping in one place. Mind you, the website isn’t much to look at, but their products are amazing.

Angela Friedman: Luxurious, beautiful, lavish pieces for beautiful ladies. Unfortunately it’s way out of my price range, but if you have some extra money kicking around and would like to give it to a small designer, Angela Friedman offers great lingerie and wonderful designs.

LaBellaFairy: For the corset loving crowd, they offer impeccable corsets. I would do just about anything for one of these. They’re ultra luxurious, beautiful, and have options from edwardian, to off the rack, to wedding pieces. 

La Lilouche: Ultra beautiful, girly, feminine pieces. If you love ruffles, satin, pastels and jewels this brand is definitely for you. They’re on the pricier side, but are still completely worth it to buy from such a talented small designer. 

Coco’s Retro Closet: Speechless! They are by far my favourite vintage inspired independent designer. They’re a smaller company, operating off etsy, but their designs are impeccable and absolutely gorgeous. This list would not be complete without them.

Ohhh Lulu: Softbras and panties galore! Tons of cute panties and bras in delightful prints, and pretty sleep masks. Mind you, if you’re a larger cup size I probably wouldn’t suggest their bras as soft bras give little to no support. They do offer custom sizing though which is nice if you’re looking for something more to just wear around the house or over another bra! They also have quite reasonable pricing. 

Sugar Lace Lingerie: Marie Antoinette would blush at these beautiful pieces. They are pastel, pretty, luxurious and ultra feminine. They currently don’t have a huge selection of products but I would encourage everyone to check out this new designer with tons of potential. 

Lonely Lingerie: Lonely lingerie is a great brand for people who, like myself, aren’t a fan of bright overbearing colours and patterns. Instead, their detail is added into beautiful lace, straps, and interesting designs. Their bras are soft or unpadded bras. Unfortunately, this bra is quite obviously for girl’s with smaller cup sizes. Their bras appear to offer little support, and only go up to a D (sorry largest chested girl). If you are a smaller cup size, this brand is a cool one to look into.

Playful Promises: Pretty designs, and gorgeous models are found here. Though I’m not usually a fan of some of the colours they use (and I really don’t like their patterned fabrics), their lingerie designs themselves are beautiful, AND they offer a larger variety of cup sizes! They have lots of open cup, soft, balconette and longline bras. I’m personally a fan of this brand and follow their releases. There’s always at least one piece I tend to fall in love with.

Marlies Dekkers: You’ve definitely seen knock off’s of their designs on cheap sites, but i encourage you to take a proper look into their line. Dekkers work can be described as simple, strappy, and sensual. I really like the shapes of bras they offer, and the slight fetish-y vibe they give off!

Panache Lingerie: D+ girls! This one’s for you. Whether you want your lingerie simple and supportive, stylish and colourful, or more of an elegant sexy, panache has a huge array of options for stylish lingerie. As a larger breasted girl myself, I find it really difficult to find super sexy bras that can actually still support me. I’ve fallen in love with this brand and plan on making an order as soon as I can.

intimissimi: So much pretty lingerie in one place. Even the name feels luxurious to say, but the prices are fabulous! No more than you’d pay on a cheap VS bra, you can get something more unique. The only issue is that their collections (in my opinion) are hit or miss. Sometimes I’ll want everything, sometimes I’ll find it painfully dull or cheap looking. Check back frequently so you don’t miss out on the good stuff.

For Love and Lemons: I have mixed feelings about this brand, mostly because it definitely feels like it caters to small girls. Offering sizes XS-L, it’s definitely leaving out larger chested ladies. There’s lots and lots of lace which I love. Everything looks super delicate and feminine. If you’re on the small size, I’d give it a little peak.

Myla: Definitely on the more expensive side, but it just screams luxury. Beautiful silks and fine laces adorn bras, panties and more. Luckily, if you aren’t willing to break the bank they do have a sale section where you can find pieces for up to 75% off. If you’re into the more elegant sexy, this brand is worth looking at.

SIL: A new favourite of mine, this brand is so worth checking out! There are tons of gorgeous retro-looking finds that make my inner pinup girl scream with excitement. They have a great stock of sizes, styles and colours, and their prices are pretty great. Not too high, but not cheap. I made my first order of two bras and a garterbelt and I am over the moon with how great I look in them. 

Chantal Thomas: I’m a big fan of this designer, every season she puts out beautiful pieces of lingerie. I have yet to purchase something for myself, but I definitely have my eye on a few pieces. Her brand is relatively easy to find and stocked at a variety of places. 

Jolidon: *heart eyes* I am never disappointed by Jolidon. I could probably pick something out of a hat and be happy with anything I got from it. They have something for everyone. Really. Whether you’re into simple elegance, luxurious laces and silks, more young and flirty styles, or simple and sensual there is literally something for any style. Just beautiful!

Aubade:  Love love love! They offer some of my favourite kinds of bras (black and white lace, in extraordinarily sexy designs) as well as bright patterns, colours and styles following the seasons. They definitely aren’t cheap but they’re a brand I personally cannot wait to add to my collection.

Von Follies (by Dita Von Teese): well…. What to say of this brand…. it’s quickly become one of my favourites. The quality is great and the designs are impeccable. It screams luxury. I can’t wait to buy even more from the lovely Dita! Be careful though, it definitely runs small in terms of sizing. If you’re between sizes, I would suggest sizing up. Be generous, because buying lingerie only to have it be too small is never fun!

Fraulein Annie: I recently stumbled across this brand and have slowly become obsessed. The colour schemes and styles are absolutely fabulous, right up my alley. Very classic, beautiful, super flattering… The next bit of money that comes by way will most definitely be going to this brand. I’m hoping to have quite a few pieces from their current collection.

Else: Lace lovers, rejoice! This brand will have you drooling. Handmade in Istanbul, they offer superb styles in fashionable fabrics and lovely colours. Whether you like soft bras, light support, or wires, they have a great variety of options. Unfortunately for my fellow bigger busted ladies, this brand is definitely geared towards smaller chested girls.

Chantelle: A brand a can personally stand behind, I would highly suggest taking a look. I sell Chantelle in high qualities at the bra shop I work at and my customers love the quality! You’re guaranteed to love your purchase. They offer lots of sizes, colours, and styles for everyone. Whether you’re looking for a great supportive bra, something conservative, something colourful, or something sexy, you’re bound to find something you will love from Chantelle.

Fastest Woman of All Time

“A decade after her shattering achievements in track and field, Griffith Joyner’s sprint records still stand, and many feel they will carry into the next century.

Known by the abbreviation “FloJo” – even her name was fast – she set the world record for 100 meters at 10.49 seconds at the 1988 Olympic trials in Indianapolis, then established the mark of 21.34 seconds in winning the 200 meters at the 1988 Summer Games in Seoul, South Korea, where Griffith Joyner also won gold in the 100 meters and the 4x100-meter relay. She also took a silver medal in the 4x400-meter relay.

I remember reviewing two popular books that could be easily be applied to an aspiring sugar baby (or any sex worker for that matter). I did say that I was going to review the many others in my repertoire BUT ain’t nobody got time for dat. So I will just list the books. This include books on power, manipulating men, sex, etc. ((In no particular order))

**Disclaimer: This is MY personal list of books that I own whether in book, kindle or audio form. This list includes sexually related books. No, I’m not saying as a (SB/Stripper/Escort/etc.) that you need to have sex. In no way am I insinuating that in this list. Just listing books that worked for ME in my personal life.** 

1. Women Have All The Power… Too Bad They Don’t Know It: Secrets Every Man’s Daughter Should Know by Michael J. Lockwood

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2. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey

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3. The Power of the Pussy: How to Get What You Want From Men Love, Respect, Commitment and More…What Do You Want? by Kara King

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4. A Gold Digger’s Guide (How to get what you want without giving it up) by Baje Fletcher

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5. Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know if You Want to be a Sugar Baby by Leidra Lawson

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6. The Art Of Gold Digging by Tariq King Flex Nasheed

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7. Seeking Arrangement: The Definitive Guide to Sugar Daddy and Mutually Beneficial Relationships by Brandon Wade

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8. 6 Simple Tricks To CRACK THE MAN CODE And Get Any Guy To Open His Heart by Michael Fiore

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9. How to Snare a Millionaire NOW: A sequel to the Ultimate Guide on Marrying for Both Love and Money by Lisa Johnson Mandell

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10. Get Anyone to Do Anything by David J. Lieberman Ph.D.

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11. The Geisha Secret: Ancient Dating Rituals Proven to Win a Modern Man’s Heart by Hanako

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12. The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want by Karrine Steffans

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13. The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 1: The Foundation by Amanda Brooks

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14. The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 2: Advertising and Marketing by Amanda Brooks

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15. The Attraction Factor - 4 Simple Yet Powerful Principles That Will Melt Any Man’s Heart by Bob Grant

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16. Marry a Millionaire - The Best Places To Find Rich Men by Coach Juliet

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17. How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

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18. How To Develop Self-Confidence and Influence Peoplle by Pulic Speaking by Dale Carnegie

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19. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

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20. Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex by Ben R. Rogers ((Yes, it’s written from the perspective of a gay male but VERY useful nonetheless.))

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21. Blow Him Away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex by Marcy Michaels

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22. The Power of Eye Contact by Michael Ellsberg

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23. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

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24. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease

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25. The Satanic Witch by Anton Szandor LaVey ((Don’t be fooled/scared by the title of the book. A very good read for women that would like to use their inherited manipulation skills))

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26. What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro

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27. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

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28. The Gold Digger’s Guide: How To Marry The Man And The Money by Ivana Rich

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29. The Fortune Hunters: Dazzling Women and the Men They Married by Charlotte Hays

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30. How to Marry Money by Kevin Doyle

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31. How to Marry Super Rich by Sheilah Graham

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32. The Guide to Becoming the Sensuous Black Woman (And Drive Your Man Wild In and Out of Bed!) by Miss T.

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33. How to Look Expensive: A Beauty Editor’s Secrets to Getting Gorgeous without Breaking the Bank by Andrea Pomerantz Lustig

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34. How to Marry the Rich by Ginie Polo Sayles

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35. Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money—That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki

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36. From Ramen to Riches: Building Wealth in Your 20s: Or Spending, Saving, Investing and Managing Your Money to Get Rich Slowly, but Surely by James Wood

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37. Wealthy Men for Money or Love 21.2 Century Guide for VIP Escorts and Single Women by Jessica Diamond

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38. The Princess Plan: Shrink your waist. Expand your beauty by Dr. Jennifer Hanes

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39. How To Get a Rich Man by Donna Spangler

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40. Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Getting Duped into the Romantic Dream-and How They’re Paying For It by Daniela Drake

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You owe it to yourself to commit to cultivating habits in alignment with becoming your best self. Only you can do the work, so make it count. This won’t happen overnight, but if you develop the discipline, and don’t give up, you will be there in time.

Here’s my little guide how to glow up in your life:

First, get your life together:

Organise and clean your home -Having clean home will make you feel better and lighter and therefore you will be more positive.

Have a life admin day -Write down all the stuff that needs to be done, all the appointments you need to get and everything that needs to be fixed. Then schedule in a day every month or every two weeks when you tick off these thing off your list.

Do your damn laundry

Create routines -They can be long and strict or short and very opened

Fight procrastination in all the ways you can

Take your mediaction and have regular health check ups

Now it’s time for mental health:

Make sure you eat and drink water regularly

Get a therapist if you feel like you need/want one

Practise your hobbies or find new ones

Listen to your favourite music

Meditate

Create a happy atmosphere for yourself -Buy plants and flowers, let your favourite music play in the background, let in as much ligh as you can.

Warm beverages

Be as positive as you can

Try to complain less

Don’t talk shit about people, especially not behind their back -You spread negative energy and hurt yourself in the process.

Say nice things to people, compliment them as much as you can -Being nice to poeple will affect your own mood for the better.

Talk about what you love, not what you hate

Get enough fresh air.

Glow up your mind!:

Read more books -Does not matter the genre

Watch movies and series

Learn new language -Even if it’s just a few words

Watch documents

Talk to people smarter than you

Try learning random fact every day

Find a new hobby

Think of ways to make your life better and help your surrounding -Minimalism? Zero waste? Vegetarian? It depends on you.

Find a new friend

Help people

And lastly the physical glow up:

Find out how much sleep you need and stick to it -Usually 8 hours are the norm

Play around with make up -You will fail and it might look wonky from the beginning. And maybe you won’t even like it. I want you to experiment.

Make sure to go make-up-less sometimes if you wear it often

Drink water -It won’t magically clear your skin completely but it will get better.

Wash your face in the morning and in the evening, but no soap if possible

Use as little skin products as you can -Sometimes less is more.

Lip balm

Eat vegetables every day -Every. single. day. It’s the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Eat oatmeal -It did wonders for my hair.

Stretch regularly

Exercise -Find something you have fun doing and do it as often as possible.

Avoid food with too much grease and sugar -You can have it but try to reduce it.

Prepare your outfit the night before -It gives you time to think about what you’ll wear and it’s nice to have it ready in the morning.

Get clothes you feel good and confident in

Get your dream hair colour! -Get crazy if you want

Learn to be comfortable with your body

Don’t shower every day -I know, I know… but listen… It’s actually much healthier for your skin to shower every other day and wash your hair even less. Plus it saves a lot of water.

Get a perfume -Have a scent

Get enough sun -You don’t have to be tan but getting sun on your skin is very healthy and it’s visible in other ways than tan.

Smile and spread joy

If you’re happy, show it -It’s contagious

Remember that beauty comes from within. That is why I put these tips in that order.

So I recently ran into a sugar “master post” on here but noticed a lot of the links were broken. Since there are so many aspiring sugar babies with a ton of questions I thought I’d make a new one! Here it is: a very long compilation of my favorite tips and tricks from sugar babies all over tumblr. Enjoy! Xoxo

Safety

Deleting yourself from the internet

Sending pictures via google voice texting 

Square cash warning 

Amazon gifts safety

COP or POT?

Tips to remaining safe as a sugar baby

Phone safety

What information should you give your SD?

Verify him

Safety links for sugar babies

All about screening

How SD’s can track where you live

The Miranda warning

Internet safety tips

Receiving packages

Staying safe as a sugar baby

Sugar baby safety 

Sugar baby safety tip

Sugar baby safety & catfishing

Free background check website

Is he the real deal?

Tricking him to keep your privacy

Keeping your privacy

Very important hoe safety tip

Free-styling

Free-stying guide

Eye-contact

Turning vanilla to sugar

How to approach men while free styling

Free-styling and where to meet sugar daddies

Where to freestyle

All about free-styling

Free-styling and how to trigger a mans generosity from the start

Free-styling tips

Top three places to freestyle

Free-styling & staff

What NOT to ask him

Meeting SD’s online

Craigslist title tip

Ashley Madison

Sugar dating and craigslist

List of sugar dating sites

Sugaring using tinder

Tindering tip

How to tinder

Craigslist masterpost

Craigslist sugar

Writing/writing back to messages

The perfect message

How to message men on sugar sites

Sugaring: Tinder and OkCupid

Perfecting your message

More messaging advice

Sugar sites to check out

Weeding through messages on sugar sites

Allowance, financials, and budgeting

How to get the allowance you want

How to ask your sugar daddy for an allowance

Allowance or pay per meet?

All about money

Cash/gifts on a POT date

What form should I take my allowance in?

How to make real money

Sugar baby banking tips

Spending your sugar money

Asking for money on a POT date

Getting him to buy you something

Financial advice

Drain his bank account

When he says he doesn’t feel comfortable with allowance…

Saving money

How much can he really pay you?

Budgeting tips for sugar babes

Tips on spending your sugar money

Allowance and AmEx cards

Let’s talk budgeting

5 questions to ask before agreeing to allowance offer

What to say to get the allowance you want

Sugar banking

Allowance and bank laws

Random cash tips

He pays for what he wants

Investing 101

Allowance negotiation tactics

The art of sugar dating

How to handle a first date with a POT

What NOT to talk about on a POT date

Organizing your POTs

How to: manipulate the conversation 

How to create a positive impression

6 ways to make your sugar date the best date he’s ever had

What the hell am I going to talk to him about?!

50 unusual date ideas

Checklist the night before your date

What you need to do before your POT date

Your first POT date

Dining etiquette

Dining etiquette pt. 2

How to fake confidence

Conversation tips

Confidence

Classy conversation topics

First date conversations with your SD

What to bring in your purse on a sugar date

Bullshit to spit on dates

Things to know about wine

First date advice

How to handle a first date

100 “non allowance” questions to ask a POT on a date

How cheat your way through small talk

Conversation topics

Developing your personality

The psychology of persuasion

Seduction, manipulation & negotiation

Remember: You are an actress/actor

The art of seduction

Strategies to try on your SD

Sugar negotiation

Bullshitting 101

Make him take you seriously

How to make him want to say yes

Body language 

Master guide: Body language linguistics 

Manipulation tips

How to manipulate people into liking you more

Sugar manipulation

How to keep wealthy men coming back to you to give you more

Emotion, seduction and manipulation

Marketing yourself

How to attract a man

Perks of sugaring - power

Being your SD’s fantasy

Manipulation success

The girlfriend experience

Keeping your SD

Treat your SD right… Or someone else will

Keeping him hooked

Don’t become familiar or ordinary

Become his fantasy

Don’t forget the details

Keeping your sugar daddy

 Bedroom tips

Treating your SD right

How to keep an SD interested

Showcase yourself to yourself to your SD

Blowjob tips (for uncircumcised penises as well)

Blowjob tips

Appearance

How to make yourself more attractive

Fashion tips and dress codes

How to dress “sugar”

Hoe products

Fuck-proof makeup list

How to be a kept woman

Looking elegant

Sex prep

Lingerie masterpost

20 beauty tips

Charming cash out of your sugar daddy

Vaginal hygiene 

Invest in yourself

Sugar tote essentials

Contouring cheat sheet

A hoes guide to body care

Sugar baby check list

Platonic Sugar

A tip for aspiring sugar babes

Being a platonic SB

Being a pure sugar baby

Sugar Travel

Traveling with your SD

Travel etiquette for sugar babies

Sugar baby travel tip

Traveling sugar

General tips/info on sugaring

The rules of sugaring

Sugar baby manifesto

Sugar baby academy

How to find a sugar daddy in 6 simple steps

This lifestyle isn’t for everyone

The secrets to being a successful sugar baby

Random sugar baby tip

Great sugar tip

“Thing’s I’ve learned from living with sugar babies”

25 tips to make you better sugar

Being a successful sugar baby

10 golden rules of sugar dating

General sugar baby tips

Sugar baby general guide

Apps every sugar baby needs

Sugar baby mentality

Sugar baby survival tips

Sugar baby wisdom

Sugar baby resources

What being a SB is all about

6 common sugar baby mistakes

Remain calm, cool and collected

Things you need to remember when you start sugaring:

What SB’s often forget

You are not asking for too much!

Beginning advice for newbies

Tips for new sugar babies

Always have a plan B

Tip to new sugars

So you want to be a sugar baby…

What would you tell your newbie SB self if you could go back?

5 newbie mistakes and how to avoid them

Patience

Remember this when you become a sugar baby

4 things every aspiring SB should know

“How do I become a sugar baby?”

How to stand out as a sugar baby

“Learn from my sugar mistakes”

“When is right to start sugaring?”

Tips from a successful sugar baby

6 tips for aspiring SBs

All about him

How to know if he’s the right sponsor

Sugar daddy check list 

Don’t believe what he says

How to get him to raise your allowance

POTs

Filtering the POTs

How to spot a fake POT

Things POT’s say when they’re trying not to pay

Distinguishing sugar from salt

10 questions to ask a POT before a relationship

Figuring out if they’re salt without going on a date

“What should I say?” And personality

Don’t be mundane and predictable

When he asks “What are you willing to do sexually?”

When he complains about paying you

When he asks if you’ve had an arrangement before 

Communicating your standards

How to say “no” to your SD

How to insist on a condom

What to say when he asks “What are you looking for?”

When he says “I’ll pay you later”

Your sugar profile

Writing tips

Make your profile work for you

Face shot or no face shot? 

Random tips/things/misc.

P.O. boxes and why you should have one

“Advice I received from a whale SD”

Long distance sugar

How to be a boss ass bitch

Why love is poison for a heartless gold-digger and a guide to the antidote

How to organize your hustle 

Sugaring from scratch

“Sex is sex, but money is money”

Mandatory sugar tool

No luck finding a sugar daddy?

The official sex worker reading list

Getting your sugar daddy back

Sugar baby texting

1. Practice in the mirror. Practice smiling, a sultry gaze, batting your eye lashes, etc. Do this for at least 10 minutes everyday until it doesn’t feel corny. While practicing in the mirror, it doesn’t hurt to say affirmations. You want to say these often until you believe them.

2. Use eye contact. You want to look into someone’s soul. This shows that you’re confident. And NOTHING is sexier than confidence! 

3. Touch. This is so important. When you use touch (on a man or woman) you make them feel at ease. Gentle arm touches on a man makes them go crazy. Holding a handshake a little longer or even giving a hug goes a long way! Random tip, but moisturize daily! I have had men and women compliment me on my skin after an embrace. 

4. Scent. Find out what scent goes best with your natural body odor. Layer with certain oils. This, coupled with a hug is so alluring! Have you ever smelled a familiar fragrance that made you think of a certain person? That’s the affect you want to leave. Also make sure that your breath is always fresh. You don’t want them to have a negative memory regarding you.

5. Smile! A smile goes a LONG way! I feel like this is my own personal best feature. Use touch when laughing at one of their jokes, but don’t go over board. This with all of the other steps leaves a lasting impression on someone. They associate you with warmth.

Practice on EVERYONE! Men and women. This will only get you comfortable, confident, and used to doing it. It will become so innate that you don’t realize you’re doing it. You’ll be able to captivate anyone.

Hey babes, so I kinda wanted to do a deeper dive on how to manipulate guide men via sexual encounters. I compiled a list of tips/insights that work really well for me and have definitely contributed to maximizing my relationship

0. Initially: Your Reward First

So I feel obligated to remind everyone (especially the newbies!) that NEVER engage sexually before he compensates you appropriately. A peck on the cheek or a hug is fine, I’m talking about anything beyond PG interactions. But, ultimately this guide is for sex within an established arrangement so it’s geared towards regular interactions, both sexual and social. Just a re-establishment to always secure the initial bag.

getting back on track to the tips…

1. Don’t Be Too Heavy Handed

So a common mistake I see/hear girls make is openly and blatantly using sex as a reward. I hear them literally openly brag at (co-ed) parties about how “I gave [boyfriend] a bj bc he brought me flowers, hehe!” or even directly to their bfs “I’ll have sex with you if you do the dishes!” and…. yikes. While arguably, some men may be into it… but the average man is disheartened by this dynamic. It reinforces the stereotype that women only have sex with an alternative agenda. Trust me, men want women who like sex. Sure, there are cute media tropes that portray men as being rewarded with sex… but when you’re blatantly spelling out the fact you’re doing sex for a reward that’s bad.

It might even work, but the open use of manipulation will be a long term turnoff for the man. Never describe your use of sex as a means to get what you want from a man, especially not to him! (Note: girl-talk in private is fine, I’m talking publicly or directly to him) Your approach to using sex as a reward must be subtle and never openly discussed. I even recommend against “joking” about using it as a reward bc it might cue him to the fact that it’s DEFINITELY what you’re CONSCIOUSLY doing. Make your use of sex as a reward always seem natural and therefore, he should only subconsciously know how connected your happiness and his sexual pleasure are connected.

2. Actions > Words

In the same vein of #1, you can build his associations of your happiness with his sexual pleasure much stronger with actions instead of words. Specifically: instead of saying you want to have sex bc he bought you a new dress, upon opening it, instantly sexually escalate. The more things he does to make you happy, the more you should ramp up your affections.

He brings you flowers = you linger more in the greeting hug/kiss

He gives you a small gift in public = you get more affectionate (hold hands, snuggle closer, etc)

He gives you a larger gift in private = you escalate sexually - even reference it as you do so (ex: spray the perfume on you, change into the lingerie immediately, etc)

He takes you to a $$$$$ restaurant = you instantly initiate sex as soon as you’re in private.

He brings you traveling = you blow his mind with nightly, aggressive, hot sex

There should be an unspoken build up of a trend where him pleasing you = you pleasing him 😏. NEVER specifically credit your sexual actions as a response to him spoiling you. He will pick up on the trend, and if anything, he will begin to think he’s manipulating you into having sex via his actions and presents! Lmao. Men are dumb 😂 

3. Keep Him Guessing

So, to reemphasize, there should be a TREND with his actions correlating to a sexual response. That means occasionally things should not necessarily correlate - these instances should be saved for a few times later. For a smaller and less significant favor/gift, suddenly withdraw any reward - carry on as normal. Emphasis on less significant things that would normally inspire at least some response from you. It will keep him subconsciously wondering what is different AND will keep him simultaneously motivated to push above to get that response back.

On the flip side of that, when there is no specific behavior, good or bad, suddenly get super hot and heavy with him. It will keep him scratching his head wondering what he did AND/OR prevent him from thinking the relationship between his actions and sex is something you do on purpose. Bluntly, this strategy overall helps prevent that dreaded “Transactional Feel” that men hate.

4. Deny!

Ok, so anytime he tries to articulate your manipulation use of sex as a reward, DENY!! Act confused, offended, even a little hurt he would see something so intimate that way! What does he mean you only like having sex with him when he buys you something? Does he not like having sex with you? Does he really think you would be that shallow?? Ya, escalate that. Note: even him “joking” about how/why you are having sex with him as a reward requires denial.

5. Make It Seem Genuine

I took a pretty strong stance on never verbally articulating that you’re using sex to reward him… however I do think there is a way to subtly imply it and reinforce the message in his head. Surrounding the topic of what you want (money, trips, etc.) discuss it in the context of being sexual. Switch the narrative from “I’ll have sex with you if you [action]” to “I’ll want to have sex with you if you [action]” - but again, that phrasing alone is too heavy handed. Here are a couple examples of how to subtly reinforce in his head the sex=reward trend:

Flying first class is just so… sexy, you know?

I always feel so horny after shopping 🤷🏻‍♀️

Europe makes me horny 😘

See how they’re generated around how you feel horny/interested. It makes the “sex as a reward” as more natural… you’re not f*king him to repay him, you’re doing it bc he’s made you want to.

6. Remember… Sex Should Be Enjoyable For You Too

Also, I feel obligated to just casually remind everyone… you should enjoy sex in general. Yes, it will occasionally feel like a chore or not be genuine, but I sincerely encourage everyone - both vanilla and SBs - to make sure they’re enjoying sex. Whether you need more stimulation, toys, foreplay, etc. you should feel comfortable finding a way to make sex enjoyable. Hell, you can even pre/post-masturbate to make sure you get that orgasm! It will also lend to making #3 easier bc hell! You are occasionally going to want great sex randomly if you’re enjoying it! Trust me, enjoying sex will make the “sex-as-a-reward” dynamic even easier.