I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.
He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.
I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.
He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.
His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.
He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.
He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.
The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.
To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.
1. Get consent. 2. Give warning. 3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots 4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force) 5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe. 6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.
All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.
Too important not to reblog
I am so sorry for what you experienced @ifitpleasuresme. Thank you for sharing this wake-up call.
Signal boost. If you go charging into a scene thinking you can act like they act in those gonzo BDSM porn loops, you’re a fool. Always keep the Safe in Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If you are not absolutely sure of what you’re doing in a scene, don’t fucking do it.
As if knowing what you’re doing would prevent this. There is a reason why most porn stars do only a few videos.
Lesson 1. Never let anyone pull your hair.
Especially a male.
what the fuck? just don’t pull your partner’s fucking hair! jesus christ!
How many times does it need to be said that ‘rough sex’ is sexual violence not something that needs to be worked around
What the fuck is wrong with men that they randomly attack women and think it is ‘sexy’?
What the fuck with with every shit for brains moron who ask did he ask before he grabbed you by the hair or punched you or choked you instead asking why men think brutalising women is acceptable?
Look how this woman suffered, and even then she still only recommends doing this “safely,” as if men would never harm women violently and irreparably if they only knew the “safe” ways to be violent.
There is no safety in consent, in warning, in only using your wrist, or any other number of “safety measures” that only partially minimize risk of damage.
As much as you love your man, or think he would never harm you, he very well might. It could be an accident, it could be that he doesn’t know his own strength, it could be that he doesn’t care if he harms you, or he could be intending to harm you.
Giving permission for someone to have the chance to do serious harm to you where you have no way of defending yourself is self harm.
Men most often get these ideas from porn (where no one cares about how the woman is hurt; she is being paid to allow her body to be abused) and these men often have no interest in making sure everything they do is “safe.”
As with this woman’s partner, these men will abandon you the moment they have to take responsibility for their actions.
This is why all that “porn is just fantasy” shit is bullshit. Notice how she referenced the porn he watched and why he thought that he could do this?
Yea, porn is increasingly inspiring men to enact really really dangerous and violent behavior on their female partners and it’s the women who have to heal and recover from it. Fuck this guy I hope he fucking rots.
