Schitt’s Creek S2 Starters
“Your hands are so soft for someone who does nothing but manual labor.”
“What you did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic… but it was also wrong.”
“It’s not like I didn’t think about what you said.”
“I guess, just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”
“Oh, ___, it’s a rare gift to strip vanity of its charm and yet here you are.”
“You’re like a big, dirty raccoon, ___.”
“Happy to help. I’m sure you’d do the same for me if you had anything to offer.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty amazing.”
“Small minds don’t reach for the stars.”
“Was it wrong, or was it just unconventional?”
“Okay well, I’m not gonna argue with you, ‘cause I need you to keep working, we’re in too deep.”
“Shopping used to cheer me up.”
“I don’t know how to ride a bike.”
“In fashion, durable and elegant rarely go hand in hand.”
“God, you’re like a fancy dinner plate that you don’t wanna budge off the edge of the table.”
“Seriously, don’t think about it.”
“Okay, there are certain lies I tell myself and if you are any kind of a friend you will let me cling to those lies.”
“We’re a long way from any hospitals.”
“I need to ask you a serious question: has it gotten worse or are you just not wearing any makeup?”
“I’m so tired. Tell me a story.”
“I thought you weren’t getting involved.”
“What does “word to the wise” even mean?”
“Look at your little doll lips.”
“What’s this? Looks expensive.”
“I was gonna leave but now I don’t want to.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, but you get stuff done.”
“I think I need a hug or something.”
“I’d sooner poke my eyes out with hat pins.”
“Stop doing that with your face.”
“You know what they say, if you can’t be by yourself then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship.”
“Okay, you’re sounding very sketchy right now.”
“I’m both excited and terrified for tonight.”
“You sound like my conscience.”
“For the most part, I’d rather be here by myself than engage in meaningless conversation with people I don’t care about.”
“A little healthy competition never hurt anyone.”
“On a scale of one to I’m gonna get beat up by an angry local, where do we see this look fall?”
“I’m going to a sketchy bar on the outskirts of town.”
“You know how at home I am at sketchy bars.”
“I’m the one who should go missing.”
“How long are we gonna be doing this?”
“It’s like everybody saw you coming and left.”
“Oh, bless you dear, but a name tag does not go with this ensemble.”
“I’m counting on you to be discreet.”
“You know, if you expect me to drive you to work, it would be nice if you were ready on time.”
“You sound a bit like a dictator.”
“You know, being approachable isn’t that important anyways.”
“Just remember if things go south, there’s a loaded BB gun in the back.”
“There’s a button missing on your jacket.”
“How much trouble are we in?”
“I dated enough Wall Street losers to know that “making things liquid” is not a good thing.”
“Someone has to find naked pictures of me, better you than a stranger in a storm cellar.”
“There are nude photos of me all over the internet.”
“The amount of times I run into you in this place is, like, out of a romantic comedy.”
“If you need money, I can give you money.”
“You regret that embarrassing photos of you aren’t online?”
“Then allow me to offer you some advice. Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. “
“Nothing’s easy about this.”
“I don’t think sex appeal is the guiding principle behind nurse’s uniforms.”
“You look like a stick of gum.”
“Are you sure that you’re cut out for this?”
“I brought you some trail mix, but I spilled it in my purse.”
“Sounds like something you’d find at a serial killer’s house.”
“You know, I have to say I’m impressed.”
“Why is everybody screaming?”
“This is gonna bring us to a breaking point.”
“I couldn’t help but notice that you seemed a little… sad sack-y today.”
“This is so cute for me.”
“You are an inexplicably cocky imbecile!”
“I can almost guarantee you that someone has killed themselves in this room.”
“You were my mistake, which I take full credit for.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from The Good Wife it’s never accept a first offer.”
“Well thank you so much for this. It was entirely unhelpful, but thank you nevertheless.”
“Okay, ___, if you have to lie about something you should breathe out while you answer because it really just calms you down.”
“If you know so much about this, why don’t you come with me then?”
“When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir.”
“It’s only weird if you think it’s weird.”
“You should feel really good about yourself.”
“For once in your life, shh!”
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