the thing with Feathers

“euuuh i’m james from twin peaks and i’m sad because my bike won’t fuck me and i’m here to make the next five minutes feel like an hour”

When the soap dribbles a little extra impotently on to the sink after you pump its load into your hand

when the soap pump is so pent up it completely misses your hand and just blows it all over your shirt

they should make a sandhill crane emoji

“let women be straight” no. everyone lez out now

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

in case you thought mandatory code reviews might actually lead to better code instead of just being an exercise in bureaucracy, the only coworker who ever approves my pull requests has told me that he doesn't even look at the code because he trusts that I know what I'm doing

pulled up some code I committed 6 months ago and immediately saw a line with the comment "DEBUG DO NOT COMMIT" so, you know, maybe he should be looking at the code

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb