Translation From PR-Speak to English of NAB’s Joint Statement Regarding Their Application to the ACCC
Source: http://news.nab.com.au/choice-efficiency-and-innovation-for-customers/
Format inspired by John Gruber
A group of Australian financial institutions have lodged an application with the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) seeking authorisation to enter joint negotiations with providers of third-party mobile wallets.
We would like to illegally legally collude to block competition in mobile wallets.
Through joint negotiations, the applicants want to ensure that Australian consumers can make payments easily through their choice of mobile wallet providers,
As long as that choice is not Apple Pay.
have access to the latest developments in contactless payment technology,
We’ll get onto these latest developments as soon we finish implementing Touch ID in our mobile-website-packaged-as-an-iPhone-app.
and can benefit from common security standards across the mobile payment system.
We are a threat to Apple Pay’s security. They need to reduce their standards.
The applicants believe consumers will benefit if they can choose the best mobile wallet that suits their own needs using their own devices. That way all consumers could have access to new features, apps and technologies developed by the makers of different mobile wallets.
We want you to have any mobile wallet you want, as long as it’s made by us, and as long as we don’t have to share any of the revenue. And besides, everyone knows that banks are always the first to offer new features, apps and technologies!
“This is about providing Australians with real choice and better outcomes.”
The only way that NAB Pay has a chance of being successful, is if we block any competition.
“If successful, the application would have tremendous benefits for the entire Australian mobile payments landscape including for public transport fares, airlines, ticketing, store loyalty and rewards programs and many more applications yet to be developed,” said Novantas Senior Advisor Lance Blockley, on behalf of the applicants.
I am high as a kite.
The application lodged by Bendigo and Adelaide Bank, the Commonwealth Bank of Australia, National Australia Bank and Westpac is subject to authorisation by the ACCC.
Please distribute your hate evenly.
The application does not request authorisation to enter joint negotiations on the amount of fees or charges, meaning financial institutions are responsible for individually negotiating contractual arrangements with wallet providers.
See, we’re not being greedy? It’s not about money. It’s about stifling competition.
Australia is at the forefront of contactless card payments, which have been well accepted by consumers and merchants. The negotiations, if successful, will ensure that consumers and merchants can be confident that Australia has a competitive, innovative and transparent system of mobile payments, including third-party wallets.
You can thank us for this mobile payment paradise later.
With major public transport systems in Australia soon to begin trials of open loop contactless payment technology, the time is pressing for consumers to be offered a choice of mobile wallet providers.
If you don’t approve our collusion quickly, another one of us might break ranks.












