and my hands secured above me. can’t cover my face. i have to look into your eyes and say what u tell me, repeating or answering questions, whatever.

e5 stands out so much when i think about kinky stuff. it was much newer to us both.

your “no” immediately halted me, oh i love it when you’re sure, when you stop me in my tracks.

i think it was the slow start, whilst i was sleepy—i’ve been sleepier than you the last two times; dozing off when you’re gone brushing your teeth, you coming back and getting comfy and pulling me towards you with the lights off. mumbling a question of if rain sounds.

we slept for a couple hours, i woke up just a bit, my bra still very much on and very uncomfortable. your hands were already on me. i just like your hands on me so much. i was still too asleep to say words. you understood me eventually, easing the top over my head and the straps over my arms, hands everywhere (searching across the length of my body so easily, it always puts me at ease, even if i get kickier, even if i try to move away—“did i ask?” “do you think you have a choice?”—), pulling me in again. running your hands over my legs, then lingering for just a moment. i’d woken up more by then, enough to drink in my favourite scene unfolding; the room dark, your hands just feeling large. the flashes of pleasure as you skim over my underwear, spreading my legs for more without really making the decision.

i’m usually waiting for you to take it away abruptly at this point. it feels so much better when you don’t, when i soak in every moment, because i’m sure you’ll stop any second now. but you didn’t. and you did that thing i’ve tried to explain before though i don’t think you’ve ever really understood me; running your fingers over me without much pressure at first, then dipping in just a bit, and using how wet i’m getting, pushing your fingers in. god that felt incredible. and the next day, too, i was on my tummy and you to my left, we’d been watching something, our attention drifted, you moved down and, again, i felt weak. chills-and-goosebumps weak, completely-drop-my-head-against-the-mattress weak, all of my body around your fingers in my cunt. not too hard, not too fast, just absolutely fucking incredible.