Let's Get This Bread

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Improving your physical and internal health

Improving your skin, hair and nails' health and appearance

Working on your body to be at an attractive and sustainable weight

Getting a decent education and at least some professional work experience

Learning how to do perfect hair and makeup styles for your face and style

Perfecting your wardrobe and aesthetic

Building your social and business network

Securing sponsors and mentors

Developing your persona and USPs

Making money and build your net worth

Getting as much experience dating Wealthy Men as you can

“They see as stunningly beautiful woman and they cannot peel their eyes away from her but then ….”

I’m going to start by stating the obvious!

Men LOVE a CONFIDENT Woman! 

In one of my most popular posts ( The Three Layers of Confidence ) I talked about how the surface layer of confidence is how you portray yourself … and this all boils down to your body language.

The way you walk, the way you gesture, your facial expression, your smile and your voice are just a few of the things that encompass what the rest of the world initially sees.

I’ve been a dating for quite some time now and what I’ve found is that men (SD’s) value this a lot more than women and women tend to underestimate the importance of this. A lot of the time women are too busy thinking about the way they look, the way they dress and what type of men are around, that they forget all about their body language. If only these women knew the amount of men ( POTs and SD’s) thats I’ve spoken to who have experienced the following situation: They see as stunningly beautiful woman and they cannot peel their eyes away from her …. but then the see her move … she walks around with a slouch and all her energy points towards the ground! Suddenly that woman becomes unattractive. Her physical features have not changed but the man’s perception has done a complete U-turn, simply because the girl looks unconfident and doesn’t own her presence.

The advice I’m about to give doesn’t just apply to women, it applies to EVERYONE!

1)      Hold yourself the right way.

When you walk around, one of the most attractive things you can do is carry yourself right. Keep your shoulders pointed back and push your chest up, (as if a string was pulling your chest from above). Maintaining a strong frame communicates to other sub-concious that you are a woman to be taken seriously.

2)      Don’t be afraid to gesture when you talk. 

Standing there all rigid isn’t going to get you the attention of any interesting or affluent man! Be fluid with your hand movements. It shows power and confidence. Open palm gestures are better over ‘closed palm gestures’, simply because they’re more welcoming, and that is what you want. You want to be approachable.

3)      Stop crossing your arms. 

This is something I learned from the age of 16 when my mentor pointed out to me how defensive I look when I cross your arms. People often cross their arms when they are angry or hurt or defensive: they come off cold and closed. I understand that sometimes, when we are in a stressful or uncomfortable environments, we cross our arms,( and often we do it subconsciously) :ut I want you to become more aware of your body. Try to notice those moments when you cross your arms and stop! Practice makes perfect. Now I’m 20 and I can’t fathom the idea of crossing my arms unless I’m cold.

4)      Don’t clutch your bag around your shoulder when you are walking. 

It’s a nervous sign and you look like you are hiding something. Just Relax! … If you find yourself in a tense situation, a really great thing to do is to breathe slower. Shifting your breathing to a more controlled and slower level will immediately relax you. I often do this when I’m in a lecture theater with over 100 people and I’m about to be the first one to ask a question. I put my hand straight up in the air and in the few seconds before I am called on, I zone out, slow my breathing down and then ask my question. That way when everyone turns to stare at the ebony, Irish/American acented girl who just asked a daring question.. I can hadle my classmates eyes burning into my soul!. And because my body language is on point, everyone who turns to look at me now sees a confident girl. In one brief moment, I have shaped their perception of me to my advantage. You won’t believe how many times this has helped me stand out to a potential mentor/boss/interviewer, before I’ve even spoken directly to them.

Now that you’ve got the basics down, we are going to work on how body language changes through every interaction.

At the beginning of the interaction you want to have a fun, energetic and an exciting persona. If you are an SB and you are freestyling, what you want is for men to be approaching you. If you are a business person and you are networking at an event, again, you want people to be approaching you. So approachable body language plays a key part at the beginning of this type of social interaction.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is just down to you…. No, no, no! This is down to you and your friends or team mates or whoever you keep in your company. 

For example, you’re out in the city and you’ve struck gold. You and your friend have stumbled upon the perfect 5 star bar that is just flooded with potential men/clients/mentors. 

Now if you and your acquaintances are all standing close together facing each other in a near circle-like formation, you have immediately made it very difficult for anyone to come over to you! What you want is to have your associates standing side by side, similar to a V- Formation (this is perfect for smaller groups). This way you can still have a conversation with your company, while making it open and easy for someone to join the interaction. Even better, at the  same time you can be scanning the room to find your next interest.

 Do this and you will find a lot more people will approach you. Ladies, never forget that one of the hardest things a gentleman can do is approach a beautiful woman when she is out with her friends. Not only does he have to walk all the way over , interrupt your conversation, risk being rejected or even laughed at, and then have to do the potential walk of shame back to his friends/affiliates. So it’s your job to make it as easy as possible for him to approach you.

As you move through the conversation, don’t be afraid to slow things down. Especially if you are trying to seduce a potential sugar daddy or date. You want to slow things down a bit and make the interaction a bit more sensual. Slow down your gestures, if you are drinking something, increase the time it takes for the glass to meet your soft lips. Make more eye contact. Play with your expressions and don’t be afraid to squint your eyes a in a flirty yet seductive manner (you know exactly what I’m talking about).

Do keep in mind that this isn’t about being overly sexual: there is nothing more unappealing than a woman that is trying too hard to be sexy.

Try these steps in your everyday life and you will soon notice they will become an integral part of your physical essence. The more you practice, the better you get and it won’t be long before people look at you and  immediately percieve tha you are a high value, confident person.

Xxxx

BronzedSugarUK

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Banking seems to be a common trouble spot sugar babies. I’ll share some of my tips for making cash deposits and what types of accounts are most beneficial for sugar babies.

Info

-The bank is required to automatically flag any deposit over $10,000.

-If you deposit $2,000 five times in one day, you’ll still get flagged.

-Any deposit the bank deems to be suspicious will be flagged.

-You only report interest paid to the IRS if your account is interest bearing. This means, if you have a savings account or an interest bearing checking account, you will accrue interest and must report this on your taxes.

-Most accounts require the owner to have a certain amount of money in the account or a penalty must be paid. Some banks will let you set up alerts to guard against this.

-Any one person may give you a gift of $14,000 per year without having to pay a gift tax.

-The giver of the gift is responsible to pay the gift tax, not the receiver. However, arrangements can be made if necessary.

-If you have cash that you don’t want to deposit, get a safe. A really, really good safe. One that is fire proof, water proof, etc. You don’t want your hard earned money to go to waste.

Tips

-Set up accounts at multiple banks. Banks do not communicate with one another and this allows you to make smaller deposits more frequently.

-Do not deposit the same exact amount each time.

-Mix the deposits. In some cases, I will deposit cash and personal checks not related to sugaring.

-Look like you have money. I always dress nicely, have my makeup done, wear some jewelry. If you are dressed in sweats and UGGs, it may seem a bit suspicious.

-Visit the same branch and make friends with the tellers. Always be polite, chatty, and smile. They will get to know you as a regular customer and trust you. If they know you regularly make larger deposits, they won’t be suspicious.

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108, Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.

Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.

Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.

Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.

Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.

Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.

Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

Craigslist: Obviously

Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.

Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.

This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.

Not showing up when they say they will.

Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.

Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).

If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).

If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.

If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.

If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.

If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.

If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

Your older brother

Your boyfriend/girlfriend

Your Aunt Meredith

Your second cousin

Your friend who can scream really loudly

Your Mother

Your Step Mother

Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats

Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

Kitestring

“Share My Location” on your Iphone

Pepper Spray

Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.

Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

How much is the rent?

Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.

Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?

What Internet service providers are available?

What electric service providers are available?

Do I have to pay for garbage removal?

What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?

Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

What type of heating/cooling is provided?

What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*

What is the apartment complex turnover rate?

Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?

Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*

Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.

What will your address be?

Additional

Is any furniture included?

Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?

Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?

Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*

Ask about local shopping and gas stations.

Ask where your mailbox will be.

Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)

Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.

Ask what their maintenance request policy is.

Ask where the nearest dumpster is.

How often does the complex loose power?

Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).

Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?

Check that all the light switches work.

Check that the water turns on.

Flush the toilet.

Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).

Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).

Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).

Check any balcony access.

Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?

Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).

Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.

Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.

Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).

Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.

Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?

During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)

Your doctor’s office

Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)

Your credit/debit card company

Your bank

Your phone company

Any government programs you’re a part of

Any companies that you have loans with

Your health insurance company

Your auto insurance company

Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

Too Pretty to Pay Bills: Keys to Gold Digging Success: Tips on How to have the life you deserve as a woman! Style: The Modern Lady’s Guide to Elegance and Charm Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring The Art of Seduction

Solving Single: How to Get the Ring, Not the Run Around

Men Don’t Love Women Like You: The Brutal Truth About Dating, Relationships, and How to Go from Placeholder to Game Changer 

The Seduction Mystique: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Loving and Marrying the Right Man How to Marry the Rich 

The Sugar Daddy Formula: A Sugar Baby’s Ultimate Guide to Finding a Wealthy Sugar Daddy

Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know If You Want to be A Sugar Baby 

A Gold Diggers Guide

How to Meet the Rich: For Business, Friendship, or Romance

The Power of the Pussy - How To Get What You Want From Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More!

Why Men Marry Bitches

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship 

How to Marry Money 

Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It 

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IMPROVING YOUR SUGAR BABY PROFILE

STAYING SAFE IN SUGAR

KEY FACTORS FOR NEWBIE SUGAR BABIES

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ASKING FOR MORE WITH DIGNITY

7 SIGNS YOU’VE MADE IT AS A SUGAR BABY

GETTING STOOD UP BY A SUGAR DADDY

SALT DADDIES, SCAMMERS AND FAKES, OH MY!

THE SUGAR DADDY NEXT DOOR

WHAT SUGAR DADDIES LOOK FOR

WHY SUGAR DADDIES GHOST

DIFFERENT TYPES OF SUGAR DADDIES

SECURING A SUGAR DATE

SENDING THE FIRST MESSAGE

10 SUGAR DADDY CONVERSATION TOPICS

The JetsetBabe Strategy For Dating Rich Men

3 Questions You Should Be Able to Answer Before Venturing Into the Sugar World

Top 10 Allowance Tips for Aspiring Sugar Babies

How To Date Multiple Sugar Daddies…and Why You Should

3 Clever Ways to Weed Out Salt Daddies

3 Simple Ways to Get More From Your Sugar Daddy…Without Even Asking

How to Snag a Sugar Daddy and Keep Him Hooked On You

How to Get Gifts from Your SD: The Secret All Smart Sugar Babies Know

How to Weed Out Fake Sugar Daddies: 8 Types of Men to PASS On

6 Simple Ways to Make Your First Sugar Date the Best He’s Ever Had

5 Common Mistakes Aspiring Sugar Babies Make (And How to Avoid Them)

8 Things Every Sugar Baby Should Keep In Her Purse

TIPS FROM A SUGAR DADDY

SEXY, HEALTHY SUGAR

LET’S TALK ORAL SEX

LA SUGAR BABY’S CONDOM CONFLICT

NEWBIE GUIDE PART 1: FROM MESSAGING TO MEETING

NEWBIE GUIDE PART TWO

SUGAR DADDY SCREENING

MISTAKES BY NEWBIE SUGAR BABY

FIVE COMMON FIRST DATE MISTAKES

WHAT ARE MEN LOOKING FOR ON YOUR PROFILE?

PROFILE PERSONALITY

WHAT TO WRITE IN A SUGAR BABY PROFILE

HOW TO GET MORE PROFILE VIEWS

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR APPEAL AS A SUGAR BABY

BEAUTY VERSUS BRAINS IN THE SUGAR BOWL

FIVE PIECES OF JEWELRY EVERY SUGAR BABY SHOULD HAVE

IMPROVING YOUR SUGAR BABY PROFILE

SALT DADDY RED FLAGS

The 1 – 2 – 3 Step To Mastering the Sugar Daddy Search

Top 10 Allowance Tips for Aspiring Sugar Babies

6 Sugar Baby Rules that Help You Rule the Sugar Game

Should I Travel to Meet a Potential Sugar Daddy

What is a Reasonable Sugar Baby Allowance to Ask For?

How to Find a Sugar Daddy in Real Life

The Hunt Begins: How to Find a Sugar Daddy in 6 Simple Steps

5 Simple Tips to Become the Sugar Baby Every Sugar Daddy Dreams Of

FIVE FREESTYLE TIPS YOU NEVER KNEW

Found this on Thought Catalog by an anonymous author! 

1. Commit to an identity online and IRL.

Are you a southern belle? A hardworking small town girl eager to leave her roots behind? A collegiate with big time professional aspirations? The girl next door? A vixen who happens to prefer older men? A fun-loving young woman eager to travel and see the world? Zero in on how you want to portray yourself and curate your online profile accordingly, making sure to highlight your most desirable traits. The idea isn’t to play a role, but to be consistent and commit to an identity that’s a genuine expression of your true persona—to be the best version of your authentic self. For example, if you deem yourself a girl-next door, don’t show up to meet a prospective sugar daddy in five-inch heels and a dress with a plunging neckline. Wear something modest. You should always feel comfortable, but there’s value in committing to an identity badge as long as it mirrors who you actually are on some level. Believe me, they’ll be able to sniff out the phonies.

2. Do the work, and be patient.

The initial phase of sugar dating is a lot like regular dating in that you have to find someone you genuinely like and want to spend time with. But a sugar daddy also has to be someone who can meet your specific needs. That extra layer of criteria (connection + the ability to meet your needs) requires yet more time and energy than dating the “normal” way, but it’s usually worth it. Sift through profiles, communicate with as many potential candidates as possible, and assume you’ll have to go on a lot of first dates before you meet the right guy.

3. Be straightforward.

A lot of successful men choose sugar dating because they value efficiency and they don’t want to waste their time, so sugar babies should be straightforward about their needs and expectations. They should also feel free to ask as many questions as necessary to figure out whether a specific sugar daddy’s desired approach, intentions, and expectations match theirs. Early on, a sugar baby should address how often she’s available and/or willing to meet, and exactly what she expects in terms of gifts, shopping sprees, allowance, help with tuition, credit card payments, vacations, housing, mentorship, etc. She should also be honest about why she’s choosing the sugar baby lifestyle. Sugar daddies like to know exactly how they’re helping out so they can feel good about their contribution to a young woman’s life.

4. Outline a specific, mutually beneficial agreement.

If a sugar baby and sugar daddy click and their needs are aligned, the next step is to solidify the exact terms of the relationship. The more specific the agreement, the easier it will be for both parties to know exactly what their obligations are. Consider the following:

What time of day will you meet up, and for how many hours? Where exactly will you meet (hotel, sugar baby’s place, sugar daddy’s home)? What will a typical date entail (theater, lunch, travel, long walks, cocktail parties, movies)? Will you hang out alone, or will you be seen in public together? When will you receive payment/gifts/etc.? How long do you anticipate the relationship will last? What do each of you consider a dealbreaker (failure to make timely payments, a last minute cancellation, the discovery that you’re not exclusively dating each other, or a request deemed too greedy)?

5. Never get too comfortable.

Months into dating the “normal” way, you might start to get comfortable and put less effort into how you dress and/or behave, but a sugar baby can never slack off if she wants the relationship to last. Be your best-looking, most pleasant self at all times. The goal is to be a top-notch companion. That doesn’t mean you can’t express that you’ve had a bad day, but it does mean that you can’t meet your sugar daddy wearing your favorite sweats (unless that’s what your daddy wants, of course).

6. Stick to the agreement.

It’s a bad idea to cancel on a sugar daddy or to show up late or to change the terms of the existing arrangement. The point of establishing a concrete agreement is to avoid unwanted surprises. At the same time, rich older men tend to be extremely busy, so sugar babies should be prepared to be flexible about changes in their schedules. That might seem unfair, but it’s part of the unwritten code of sugar dating. Be accommodating—but only up to a certain extent. A sugar daddy should be wealthy enough to provide his sugar baby with her allowance or gifts or whatever’s agreed to in a timely fashion no matter what. If at any point payment/gift giving is stalled, consider it a red flag.

7. Be discrete.

Discretion is the key to dating older, wealthy, powerful man. Always play it safe and assume that a sugar daddy doesn’t want you posting photos of them to your social media newsfeeds or discussing the specific terms of your relationship with anyone else.

8. Maximize the relationship.

The advantages of dating a sugar daddy go beyond the initial terms of your arrangement. As you get to know him, figure out how you can use his expertise, influence, and industry contacts to help you get ahead, not just financially but through networking and relationship building. Think of your sugar daddy as a mentor, advisor, friend, and confidante—someone to learn from as well as a romantic partner.

9. Manage your expectations.

It’s natural to develop romantic feelings for a sugar daddy, but keep in mind that this relationship is transactional foremost and romantic second. You might very well fall in love with each other, but you’re better off remembering that this is primarily about satisfying immediate, mutual needs. Stay open-minded without getting too attached. To keep your emotions in check, keep a journal so you can monitor the evolution of the relationship from your perspective. Ask yourself: How do I feel about him and our relationship? Am I getting everything I need? What would I do if he dumped me?

10. Always have a Plan-B.

Lara has always collected names in a little black book - literally - and brought what she refers to as ‘Sloaney sorts’ together. She holds details of more than 2,000 eligible men and women aged from 19 to 75, but her bespoke match-making client list is much smaller with more male millionaires and billionaires, and most of them are in their 40s and 50s.

Seventy per cent work in the City in some capacity. There are bankers, hedgefund managers and CEOs, but also high-ranking civil servants, professional golfers and landed gentry. She has lots of Old Etonians and Harrovians and Oxbridge types.

‘Life is increasingly difficult for very successful men over 50,’ she explains. ‘They have a professional profile and value privacy. They don’t want to put themselves out there.

‘It makes them feel uncomfortable and they don’t have the time, what with the amount of travel and work they do. They’re not necessarily extroverts. They can broker billion-pound deals, but are shy when it comes to romance.

2 Don’t ask probing questions. A lot of women tend to dig for information about his holidays or car, trying to work out how rich he is. These men don’t want arm-candy. They want to be with women who are cultured, well-educated and well-informed.

3 Be a goal-digger not a gold-digger. Have your own dreams. Take your own lead in planning things. Don’t wait for him to complete you.

4 Be humble. A lot of these men are self-made and hard-working and very down-to-earth.

5 They find it refreshing if someone is not interested in money. But you can’t fake that.

6 Go to the right places. Women who give up hope don’t go out as much as they think they do as it’s easier to put on slippers and watch TV. You have to put yourself out there, but not just visiting the local pub. You have to go to upmarket bars and restaurants, to art galleries and so on. And go on your own, not with a friend, so you talk to people.

7 As it says in Debrett’s Etiquette for Girls: ‘Good posture makes you look taller, slimmer, perter and more confident. Think tall, hold your head up high, keep your back straight, shoulders back, tummy in and hips forward.’

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✦ The Unicorn Delusion: How To Kill Your Inner Basic B  ✦ HOW TO MARRY THE RICH: The Rich Will Marry Someone, Why Not YOU? ✦ How to Meet, Date, Marry European Nobility and Sophisticated and Wealthy Men: I’ve done it. My complete step-by-step guide shows you how ✦ How To Date Like a Courtesan: Attract, Seduce, and Manipulate Men for Love, Money, and Marriage  ✦ The Art of Seduction ✦ Shanghai Girls: Uncensored & Unsentimental  ✦ Rich Sex®, The Sexual Dynamics of Money ✦ Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top  ✦ Mars and Venus in the Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion  ✦ Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You’ll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!  ✦ How to Snare a Millionaire  ✦ Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment  ✦ 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know: What to Do, What to Say, and How to Behave  ✦ How To Be Classy : - A Step By Step Guide on Self Transformation and How You Can Upgrade Your Life ✦ Wealthy Wife: Meeting, Dating, & Marrying a Rich Man  ✦ Solving Single: How to Get the Ring, Not the Run Around ✦ Men Don’t Love Women Like You: The Brutal Truth About Dating, Relationships, and How to Go from Placeholder to Game Changer  ✦ The Seduction Mystique: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Loving and Marrying the Right Man ✦ How to Marry the Rich  ✦ Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know If You Want to be A Sugar Baby  ✦ A Gold Diggers Guide  ✦ How to Meet the Rich: For Business, Friendship, or Romance ✦ The Power of the Pussy - How To Get What You Want From Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More!  ✦ Why Men Marry Bitches  ✦ Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship ✦ Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It  ✦ Smart Women Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Achieving Financial Security and Funding Your Dreams  ✦ Your Inner Fox: Unleashing the Elegance Within ✦ Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring ✦ Salty: A Shocking Excursion Into The World Of Sugar Dating

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✦ Self-Defense Classes ✦ Pepper Spray ✦ Pepper Spray Stun Gun ✦ Personal Emergency Alarm Keychain ✦ Whistle Keychain ✦ Cat Self-Defense Keychain ✦ Stun Gun ✦ Taser 

It’s obvious that the bowl is somewhat over-saturated, particularly on sugaring sites, with salts and salt babies - and thus, the proposed solution to finding generous men and procuring effective arrangements is freestyling and meeting these men in person, rather than online. Despite freestyling being praised as the new way of sugaring, there seems to be confusion on what exactly it is and what exactly to do when you’re at high-class establishments.

The most common definition appears to be going to high-class restaurants, clubs, and places where “rich people frequent”, looking as though you belong there, and then having a rich man approach you or vice- versa, but it seems as though this method is becoming outdated. As the sugar bowl has become more popularized as journalists and college students try to capitalize on this sensation, the richest men and ideal targets are skeptical. If you’re on one of the many establishments of Wall Street, Capitol Hill, or downtown LA, you’ll hear hedge fund managers, bankers, and trust fund babies talk about avoiding gold diggers when picking up women - and they’ve learned to tell the signs: expensive, attractive, well-dressed women sitting alone, waiting to be approached by men. Moreover, the wealthiest men generally will not approach women if they are strangers they don’t know. Such developments call for a new approach in freestyling, which is not to say the old one should be completely abandoned, but rather that it no longer produces the level of success that it used to.

If you’re looking for genuinely rich men (especially not just new money, or those who think that because they have a $100K salary, they’re rich), then the way of entering arrangements is through networking - which is not just meeting these men at wealthy establishments, but entering and mingling with their social circles. If you’re serious about this life and are looking to enter the upper class, become a socialite, or become a trophy wife, then nailing this skill is very important. The best arrangements, the most generous men, and the most valuable services I’ve acquired have always been through men that I was introduced to through social circles or a friend. Example: I have a male acquaintance that I was introduced to by a mutual friend, and when it was obvious there was chemistry, he introduced me to his other friend, a trust fund baby, and together with two other girls we went on a weekend trip to the trust fund baby’s lakeside house, complete with a jacuzzi, jet skis, and tubing. His net worth/income is impressive for his age (one year older than me), but isn’t enough for me to pursue a physical arrangement with him. However, he works in finance and has a knack for investment, and we’ve entered an agreement where he invests my money and keeps 20% of the investment, but over a year he’s nearly doubled the thousands of dollars I originally gave him to investment. You’ll see this through practice as well: how did Prince Harry and Prince William meet their current wives? Through their social circles and current friends. You’ll understand why rich men tend to date rich women, isn’t necessarily because they have a preference for rich women or that rich women are more attractive (though there may be correlation) but rather because in their social circles that is the kind of woman they’re often introduced to. When you’re wealthy and powerful, it’s not in your interest to talk to most people - because naturally, people will be coming to you. In this way, social circles act as a means of both protecting their wealth and status and separating the cream of the crop to include those that are attractive, have social approval, and have a lifestyle fit with these men for ideal romantic partners.

So how do you ‘break’ into such circles? How do you make the results of freestyling become a reality?

•First, if you’re just starting out or are looking for an allowance, it will be relatively difficult to find the *exact* results that you want. You can see from billionaires or men renown from their wealth, they take care of women who aren’t necessarily at their financial level, but have stability and some income of their own. This makes them more attractive because for super wealthy men, they are used to groupies/women throwing themselves at them, so when they encounter someone who is attractive, interested in them, yet has a level of financial independence, this poses a challenge and makes them more likely to invest in you for sponsorship, SGF, or trophy wife, whichever you wish.

•That being stated, I encourage freestyling from the very beginning, since even on standard dating platforms there’s an inundation of time-wasters and irrelevant folks who try to capitalize on the beauty of a young, attractive woman. So to get started, first, you have to network. Assuming you already know how to take care of yourself and to network, the next step is finding out where the rich and successful people in your area hang out. Humans are naturally social, and so when a girl claims she cannot find worthwhile men, it must be that she’s investing time or social energy into the wrong kinds of men. Envision the kind of life or standards that you’re looking for, and delete any man who doesn’t meet these standards or contributes no use to you. This will free up space and social networking so you can pursue relationships with men who CAN invest in you. If you’re looking for men who can do more than buy you fast food and share Netflix subscriptions, delete those that do.

•Next, do some research about which social circles to join. It’s good to decide what kind of interests you have - are they political? Financial? Perhaps you’re interested in philanthropy. If you’re not sure, that’s fine and join as many as possible, and make sure they have a certain level of status or are inviting the right people, or else they will just be another waste of your time. Go to the introductory meetings and dress to impress, and make a great first impression. Introduce yourself, have a story about yourself, and make small talk, and if you’re attractive and reasonably socially-skilled, you’ll find that people are drawn to you. Once one person is interested, the rest will follow. Some women are too transparent by only mingling with the men - take great care to establish good relations with the women there, because they can put in a good and very influential word for you.

•Go to these events, meet new people, and continue going to them. Men will want to contact you and will ask for your number - you should give it, but don’t get overexcited or too eager. You have to refine through these men and ensure that they’re ones that you’d like to date or to pursue arrangements with. So contact them, be approachable, but also ensure that you present yourself as having other things going for you. You don’t have to necessarily be working but having your own savings, own assets, whether those are from yourself, your family, or another man, are important. Always, always, always have the man approach you first. If he doesn’t seem interested, never seem discouraged and just move on to the next one. Have a mentality of abundance. Next step is testing him and doing your research.

•Before doing anything, you should be able to answer the following questions (outlined in books like Ho Tactics):

-Where does he work and live?

-Is he wealthy, and if so, where does his wealth come from? (Trust fund baby, old money, self-made) What profession is he in? Does he look wealthy or is he actually wealthy?

-And most importantly, is he generous? (How much money does he drop on his hobbies, is he cheap/frugal, does he like spending money on women)

Most women get caught up in the generosity, because sadly, wealth is not equivalent to generosity. Test him by going out on a date and seeing what he proposes. Generous men tend to be quite obvious, in my opinion, and won’t show any hesitation in paying for services, calling you Ubers, or taking you on spontaneous trips and otherwise showing off their wealth. If he doesn’t seem generous, drop him immediately. If he makes any excuse that seems disingenuous, drop him immediately. If he tries to force any physical contact, drop him immediately. If he makes any complaint on spending, drop him immediately. Trust your intuition. Filter through the trash. A superior man will take his place.

•By the second date, you should already have established that you’re high-value. Be nice and pleasant, but don’t be so easily impressed. This is where he should be spending more, and you should establish the dynamics of the relationship. Hold off on physical contact until you’ve filtered through his intentions and gotten what you wanted. Some girls are confused as to whether or not they should be upfront or not, whether to ask for allowance straight up or not. It’s difficult to say, because this varies from person to person - and I would say go with what your intuition tells you and do what’s most comfortable in the persona you adopt. Maybe making up a sob story or emotional manipulation is what you’re best at. Maybe it just suits you better to be blunt. Maybe batting your eyelashes and asking to go shopping is your forte. Whatever works for you. Just make sure you establish the grounds of the relationship and get what you want before anything physical happens. Have foresight on what you want and get the money/gifts FIRST.

How To Navigate Online Conversations With Potential Sugar Daddies

You now have your best face forward with stunning profile photos. Potential sugar daddies will be impressed and are more likely to visit your profile to learn more about you.

You also have been doing some screening yourself by looking at the quality of their bios and profile descriptions. You’ve hopefully “favorited” their profiles to let them know you’re interested.

You’re pretty much ready to start having conversations!

Important thing to recall now: your demeanor speaks volumes. Your demeanor will show through your initial online conversations.

First off - it is best if the SD messages you first, not the other way around. Why? You sending them a message can make you appear desperate. It makes it seem like you aren’t getting a whole lot of attention on your profile, because if you were, why on earth would you need to reach out to anyone?

You also lose power in negotiating a high allowance if you reach out to an SD online. If a genuine SD reaches out to you, it means he is super interested and more willing to give you an allowance you deserve. If you do the reaching out, you are setting yourself up to be lowballed by sending a subtle message that your profile isn’t attractive enough to garner attention, and that you are desperate for something.

If you aren’t getting genuine messages within a week that don’t look like spam, check your profile photos and bio section for quality.

By the way, you will receive more messages if you have a premium account - there are a lot of scammer and cat fishing sugar babies out there too, so a premium account will make you look more credible. You’ll be able to verify that your photos are real and that will make your profile even more attractive.

You’ll also get access to SD profiles that have been background checked and verified. Use an edu email or pay the subscription fee for an upgraded account. Remember - $19.99 a month / $14.99 for 3 months is a small investment in comparison to the high allowance you are aiming for.

So an SD has reached out to you! This is where the convo begins, but this convo also serves as another screening tool.

Some points to remember on your part:

• Your main objective out of this conversation is to set up your first date - that’s it. Your profile should state that SDs can contact you for a date if they are interested in getting to know you better.

• This first date serves as a gesture to show how much he is willing to spend on you. He is already impressed by your profile, so he needs to impress YOU with this date.

• You can find out more about him and his career on the date - you don’t need to do that on this site. Talking to several POTs online at the same time, trying to get to know them, is exhausting and drains energy unnecessarily. It’s a waste of your time. You can get to know them better on the date, plus, you’ll actually have something to talk about!

• Your general compatibility and what each of you are looking for should be clear in your profile info, and it’s much more important that you vibe well together in person and not just through messages.

• Your tone should be pleasant but firm, a neutral tone you might use in sending a corporate email, for example. This makes you appear poised and sends a message that you expect them to meet you at your level.

• Do not mention an allowance right now. You need to have at least one date before discussing an allowance with a potential SD.

• Do not give a stranger your real phone number. You can give them a Google Voice number. This is so that if they end up being a weirdo or a creep, you can block them on Google Voice and they won’t ever have access to your real number. Your real number may also have a caller ID that reveals your real name.

• Don’t put all your hopes and eggs in one basket - you should be going on multiple dates with multiple POTs.

Important things to note on their part:

• See if they mention something you wrote in your bio - that’s how you know they have taken the time to read it and didn’t just gawk at your photos.

• ‪They need to come up with the time and place for your date. Since they reached out to you, they are the ones who need to put effort into planning the date.‬

• When they tell you where the date will be, if you aren’t already familiar with the place, look it up and find out how upscale it is. Look at the menu prices. This is how you can immediately tell not only how much money they really have, but how much they are willing to spend on you.

• If they suggest any of the following places - Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Panera, an ice cream parlor, Applebee’s, or any other cheap places or activities such as walking in the park 😒 this tells you he is either broke, stingy, or both. You don’t need to waste your time leaving your house dressed to the nines for a walking date or a date at Panera, and genuine SDs with money know better than to even suggest such a thing. Not to mention, your profile photos show you with your makeup and hair on point - that lewk costs money, and a suggestion of a cheap date should greatly offend you!

• Acceptable dates: fine restaurants, upscale bars, lounges, and other similar places where you can actually have a convo (so not a movie/show.)

• If they bring up allowances/PPM, tell them that you would like to see how the first date goes before discussing that. This makes you appear level headed, patient, and not the least bit desperate, and it always works in your favor.

• If they try to small talk, firmly redirect the conversation. A lot of men try to butter you up with words. You need to make it clear that doesn’t work on you.

Here’s an example of the ideal conversation:

SD: Hi there beautiful. I’m impressed that you’ve been running your own business successfully for 4 years. I would be interested in getting to know more about you and your work in person. I am available on Friday - I would like to take you to XYZ restaurant. How does 7pm sound?

SB: I happen to be available Friday evening too. 7pm sounds great.

SD: Great. May I have your number so I can contact you before the date?

SB: Sure, it’s (Google voice number)

SD: Wonderful - see you then.

He understands that your time is not to be wasted, so he gets straight to the point and sets up a date quickly. That’s what we’re talking about.

Another conversation example:

SD: Hello there, I am impressed by your profile. You are gorgeous!

SB: That is sweet of you to say, thank you.

SD: So what kind of arrangement are you seeking?

SB: I explained what I’m looking for in my profile, but we can discuss it more in detail on a date.

SD: Okay, I should be available this weekend. How does XYZ restaurant sound?

SB: I don’t like seafood. Could you suggest something else please?

SD: No problem, how about ABC restaurant?

SB: That sounds great.

SD: Great. Are you available at 6pm this Saturday?

SB: Yes I am.

SD: Awesome, see you then.

Examples of how to redirect conversations back to your main objective:

SD: You look super sexy in your photos! You look like the perfect lady to spoil!

SB: Thank you. I trust that since you’ve seen my photos that you have read my profile and you are contacting me to set up a date.

SD: Well, I think we should get to know each other better before setting up a date.

SB: I have a well written profile that tells you what you need to know about me. We can have a deeper conversation on a date.

SD: Okay, well I am free this Wednesday. Let’s go to XYZ restaurant.

You can get to know each other more on the date. Chatting up strangers is exhausting and you don’t have time for that, especially if he is not making it worth your while by taking you out somewhere nice.

SD: Hey there gorgeous! I love to see a bright young woman with so much ambition. It is such an attractive quality to have.

SB: Thanks, I agree.

SD: So what are you up to?

SB: I am waiting for you to set up a date 😉

SD: Well, shouldn’t we have a little convo going before we go out?

SB: We can have convos on the date.

SD: Alright then, I will let you know when I am free. Can I have your number?

SB: I don’t give my number to anyone who hasn’t set up a date with me.

SD: I don’t know when I am free and I’m not on here that often, so I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just give me your number?

Any resistance to your rules and standards, especially concerning your safety/privacy, is a red flag. He doesn’t need your number if he hasn’t shown you that he’s serious about taking you out and getting to know you. It’s really that simple. You can just block him at that point.

How to deal with terrible date suggestions:

SD: Let’s go to XYZ restaurant (cheap spot)

SB: That is an unacceptable place for a date with me.

or

SD: How about a walk in Central Park?

SB: I don’t do walks in parks for dates.

This can now go two ways - he can either wisen up and suggest a better place, or argue with you.

SD: Fair enough. How does ABC restaurant sound?

SB: Much better.

or

SD: Well, this is just a date to know each other better. In the future we can go somewhere nicer.

SB: *blocks*, because we don’t argue with online strangers about our standards 💅🏽

This first date is a gesture to show how much he is willing to spend on you. He is already impressed by your profile, so he needs to impress YOU with this date.

Your standards for this date need to be high. You need to be consistent with your high quality profile by accepting only high quality dates.

If an SD offers a cheap date - it means he is also cheap, can’t afford anything beyond that, and doesn’t value you highly. You have already shown you are high value through your profile pics and bio alone, so he needs to meet you where you are or get lost.

You also need to be careful about giving your number to a stranger. Your number is how people have access to you, and you shouldn’t be giving it to just anybody and letting anyone have access to you, even if it’s just a Google voice number.

That is why if an SD gets upset over you not handing out your number when you haven’t even planned to meet up yet, you need to stay clear of them. They do not respect boundaries and you need to avoid them for your own safety.

Takeaway points: Your main objective in an online conversation with a potential SD should be him setting up your first date. Chit chat is unnecessary and a waste of time. ‪This date is his first gesture and how he shows you how much you are worth to him, so do not accept cheap date suggestions. Your tone should be calm and indifferent which makes you appear poised and not desperate.‬

In my next posts I will write about how to prepare for your first date, including appearance, safety tips, and more 💕