Story time! In college there were certain bars (read: most bars) that I couldn't go to without without a large group of friends or a tough looking male friend. Technically, legally I could go to these bars alone, but to do so would be a risk to my own safety. In honor of bringing awareness to the seriousness and severity of what so many women have gone through/ are going through, I have two stories to tell. Sadly, I have plenty more than two stories, but for now, I'll just tell the two. To be clear, I am not sharing my stories for sympathy, or to victimize myself. I am sharing them because they need to be told, and because so many women I know have similar stories.
The first story was when I was a freshman in college. I was 19 or 20. I went to a bar (the type of bar I soon learned never to go into without a tough looking male friend) with another young female friend (whom I will leave unnamed). Upon entry we were groped BY THE BOUNCER. We turned around and left immediately.
The second story happened maybe a year later. I was playing pool at a different bar (a bar I frequently visited by myself and felt safe at because I knew the bartenders and everyday patrons were not ok with creepy and/or predatory behavior). There was an old man behind me (who was clearly not a regular at this bar) who kept making nasty comments about my ass. I turned him around and told him to stop and he basically said he couldn't help it because of how I was dressed (I was wearing a sweater dress not unlike Velma from scooby doo) and because I kept bending over (because I was playing pool). The bartender overheard me telling a friend about it later in the night and wonderfully offered to kick the guy out, but I didn't want to cause any trouble, so I didn't bother to point him out. I look back at that and I wish I had had him kicked out, so he could learn that it's not ok to treat women like that, but part of the problem is being young and timid, and fearing that having a man rightfully kicked out of a bar for sexual harassment would be "causing trouble."
These are just two examples of my experiences with sexual harassment. This sort of this is not ok, and it needs to stop. Sometimes it can be really hard for young women to stand up for themselves, especially in situations in which the man harassing (or assaulting) them is significantly older, and larger (which was the case with both of the above stories). I am thankful that I am learning to stand up for myself (though I still have a lot of work to do) and I am thankful that I have people in my life who are willing to stand up for me as well (shout out to that rad bartender from the second story). Please please please, if you didn't take this sort if thing seriouly before, reconsider. My stories are not uncommon. Sexual harrassment shouldnt be something women have to just deal with. And yes I know it happens to men too, and that honnestly is no less horrible, but I would be willing to bet every woman I know has been sexually harassed (or worse) at least once (but more likely several times) througout her life. Just because some women dont talk about it, doesnt mean it hasn't happened to them.
