what

if your man sends you an evil ass text message and you don’t know how to respond, come to me. I will ghost write your response.

I just saw a text thread where a dude said “I wish you were more beautiful so I wasn’t embarrassed to post you” and his girl responded with “oh” OH????????? I would have told her to respond with “I wish your dick was as big as [HIS BEST FRIEND’S NAME] but neither of us are getting what we want out of this relationship so I think we should split” and then advised her to block his number and go to Target to sniff all the candles

if your partner starts undermining you and trying to plant insecurities by implying you’re not attractive enough, not smart enough, not interesting enough, not fun enough, that is a major red flag. they are trying to control you and lower your self esteem so you’ll feel indebted to them for putting up with you and you’ll stay even if you’re unhappy. end the relationship immediately. I also recommend taking a swipe at them on the way because these people like this guy will learn nothing from hearing “you’re really toxic and you hurt my feelings” but the implication that you’ve seen his best friend’s dick and it’s bigger than him will effect his psyche immensely.

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.