Let's talk about people with chronic pain conditions...
Iâm on my break at one of my jobs, and itâs 0438 in the morning and Iâm feeling like sharing things.
How many times have you had a patient, whether you are a nurse, doctor, or in EMS like myself, who has had a diagnosed chronic pain condition?
And how many times have you thought to yourself, or complained to your coworkers, âI wish theyâd stop complaining. It canât be THAT bad all the time.â Or something along those lines?
Cause Iâll be honest, Iâve thought something like that in the past. In the absence of an obvious injury or source of pain, we tend to dismiss people who are in considerable pain, whether acute or chronic.
Thatâs changed a lot for me in the last year. Late last year my wife was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition, which for now I wonât divulge what it is. In short, she is almost always in pain. The level of her pain depends on a lot of factors, many of them unpredictable. Sheâs on a lot of medication, and it only truly helps with the pain sometimes.
In the morning she can be perfectly fine. No problems. By the time itâs bedtime, depending on how her pain is, I might have to physically hold her up and help her into bed.
Itâs been a challenge, for us as a couple and individually. Weâre in our early 20âs, and tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. Canât say either one of us thought this would happen. But it is. I canât even begin to imagine how she feels, I can only tell you what I see from my perspective.
Out of all the hardships and the sadness this has brought, I try to look on the bright side. Having to be with and care for her has taught me a lot about her condition in particular, but also about chronic pain patients in general.
One thing Iâve taken away: a patient could be faking their pain. Or they could really be in that much pain. We tend to think everyone in pain is a drug seeker until proven otherwise and we dismiss their pain as such.
For YEARS my wifeâs pain was dismissed. It wasnât at the levels it was now until about a year ago, but even when it started getting worse she was dismissed. Over and over again, by all sorts of doctors.
She finally got fed up and did her own research. She made a freakin FILE, mapping out her entire history, symptoms, and what she thought it was. And well, when she brought it to her doctorâŚthey finally believed her.
And hereâs the thing: her condition canât be proven with blood tests, imaging scans, or anything else besides actual surgery.
So, back on track. You have a patient who says they are having 10/10 pain. âBut if theyâre hurting that bad, wonât they be screaming?â, you ask. Sure, maybe some people will, but everyone experiences pain differently. A stubbed toe to me may feel like a hammer blow to you.
Pain is subjective. Not everyone is a drug seeker. Not everyone is looking for attention.
What Iâm really trying to get at here, my fellow healthcare workers, is have compassion. Donât dismiss people just because you canât see their pain. Theyâre feeling it, and thatâs all that matters.
Sure, we will get our drug seekers. Our attention-seekers. Our hypochondriacs.
Just keep that compassion, I beg of you. Donât get lazy, donât get comfortable. As tough as it may be, and yes I fall into this too, donât treat your patients as just numbers or nameless people. Each and every one, even when weâre tired, or sad, or angry, or whatever, deserves our best care.
My wife could have been saved so much physical and emotional suffering if people like us had just LISTENED and not dismissed her and thought she was exaggerating.
I hope this all made sense, and I hope some of you (if any) who read this will take at least some of it and do your best to apply it. Thatâs all I ask.
Well, back to work now. See you all out there. Stay safe.
Thatâs all I have to say about that.
*present day, 4 MAR 18 I made this post last year and never posted it, because I felt it was unfinished. Well, a lots changed since then. The condition I spoke about that my wife was suffering from is/was Endometriosis. I am so very happy to say that, after nearly two years, a slew of doctors, and 2 surgeries, that my wife is feeling so much better. Being her stubborn, research obsessed self, she looked for and found a specialist surgeon who took her seriously. He did surgery not too long ago now, and to put it bluntly, what he found during his surgery was both a relief and a punch to the gut. What my wife was dealing with was HORRIBLE, I can never imagine what that felt like. But like I said, sheâs so much better now, and I couldnât be happier. Itâs nice to see her happy again, and about to finish nursing school! Iâm so proud of her, sheâs the strongest person I have ever known. And now itâs March, and itâs Endometriosis Awareness month. Did you know that 1 in 10 women suffer from Endometriosis? And that on average it takes 10+ years for women to get an actual diagnosis? I barley even knew what Endometriosis was before my wife did her research and came to her own (correct) diagnosis. Iâd like to do my little part in spreading awareness of this condition, because Iâve seen it first hand. Iâve seen what it does to a womanâs body and mind. And I donât want anyone else to needlessly go through what my wife did. So please, spread the word, do some research. Raise awareness. Thank you.
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