drake: wow, can you believe bey’s backstage spread? i need to upgrade my tour rider, man, this shit is incredible!
sufjan: Truly This Cayenne And Maple Glazed Chicken With Freshly Steamed Garlic Broccoli Is To Perish For
drake: and the dessert buffet! god, i - oh, wow, look who it is! hey! hey kanye, what’s up man? what’s good? have you met-
kanye: Sufjan Stevens. Wow. It’s been a while.
sufjan: Mr. West… You Are Looking Well
kanye: You too. You know, I don’t know if you saw, but I, uh… I torrented Carrie & Lowell. That’s some excellent work. Your best ever, easily.
sufjan: Thank You For The Compliment How Are Kimberly And The Kids
kanye: Good. They’re good. They’re having, like, a “Mommy and Me” weekend in Bordeaux right now. Doing a grape juice tasting tour with Gwyneth and Angelina and all their kids.
sufjan: Oh That Sounds Delightful How Fancy
kanye: Yeah. Yeah. So I’m, uh… I’m here. Stateside. Checking out Bey’s show. Didn’t realize you would be here, Sufjan.
sufjan: Well I Of Course Go Everywhere With Aubrey He After All Is My Fiancé
kanye: Fiancé? No kidding. That’s… huh. Wow. Never thought I’d see the… Well. Congratulations. To both of you. I’m… I’m happy for you. Really.
drake: …thanks? this is wild, i didn’t realize you two knew each oth-
kanye: Oh, wow, look at the time. I have to go, uh, prep a fitting for Yeezy Season Four. Nice catching up. Drizzy, see you at OVO Fest this August. And Sufjan… you take care of yourself.
sufjan: I Always Do Mr. West… I Always Do
drake: okay what… was that…
drake: you never told me you were friends with kanye!
sufjan: We Were Never Friends
drake: uh, you looked pretty friendly to me!
sufjan: Did You Try The Chicken Aubrey I Thought The Chicken Was Lovely
drake: how do you know kanye??? and how did i not know that you two were-
sufjan: You May Recall That Many Moons Ago I Penned An Ode To Falling In Love Again And Driving To Chicago
sufjan: Indeed I Devoted An Entire Record To The Glories Of Mr. West’s Great Home State
drake: wait… chicago was about kanye?
sufjan: And 808s And Heart Break Was About Me
sufjan: It Was Certainly A Messy Few Years But He Of Course Has Settled Down With Kimberly And I Of Course Am Now With You So-
drake: i can’t believe this! what? how did you two even get together?
sufjan: Well We Separately Signed Up For A Musician’s Retreat In The Rural Wilds Of The Ukraine And One Evening By Coincidence We Found Ourselves Withstanding A Particularly Intense Storm Of Snow While Locked Alone Together In An Abandoned Soviet Missile Silo
sufjan: So To Occupy Ourselves Until The Storm Subsided We Challenged Each Other To Compose An Ode To The Son Of God… He Wrote Jesus Walks… I Wrote To Be Alone With You… By Morn The Clouds Had Parted At Which Juncture He Gave Me His Telephone Number And I Gave Him The Number For My Fisher-Price Cassette Recorder With Sing-Along Microphone And The Rest As They Say Is History
drake: i… i can’t believe what i’m hearing
sufjan: I Actually Accompanied Him On My Recorder On The First Demo Of Jesus Walks That Very Night It Was Quite Magical The Sound Of My Instrument Echoing Off The Brick Of That Abandoned Soviet Missile Silo
drake: what were you and ye even doing in an abandoned soviet missile silo in the first place?
sufjan: None Of Your Bee’s Wax
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