Emily Gilliland//PCSU//GRACE
Hi everyone, so for any of you that donât know me Iâm Emily and Iâm in upper sixth. Iâm studying biology, ICT and history ( I want to be a teacher so luckily I can have a totally random mixture of subjects). Some things you may not know are that I have an adorable dog called Bailey, I had a slight obsession with Blue Peter when I was little and have 5 badges (life goals complete) and I cried when my sister got me a jar of malteser spread as part of my birthday present (I think a lot of people can relate).
So anyway, I donât really know why I decided to do a blog and Iâm still not exactly sure what Iâm going to type but Iâm going to give it a go.
So I learnt a lot at the weekend, some things that I had never even noticed before. For example the word âAuthenticâ itself was a shock for me. I just thought I was a christian, I did what christians do like go to church, read my bible (although Iâm lacking on that part I have to admit) and pray. Although within five minutes of Mark opening his mouth I knew I had got something very wrong. Being a christian wasnât about following the crowd, itâs not about âdoing the things christians doâ itâs about having your own, unique faith and personal relationship with God. After all God didnât give us all the same fingerprint, he made us unique so why would he give us the same relationship? Even the way we worship is different and the gifts we have ( I definitely did not get the gift of a voice because I sound like a dying whale). When I thought about it I realised how naive I was. I need to make time for God. I have always struggled with reading my bible and I think thatâs why I never realised I wasnât living an authentic faith. Itâs like when you mum calls you down to wash the dishes or hoover the house, suddenly youâve got too much homework to do even though youâve been sitting watching a whole season of vampire Diaries on netflix all day. I just didnât make the effort and I didnât make the time to have a personal relationship with God so how was I going to know that I wasnât living an authentic faith?
Mark mentioned at the weekend: âFaith can be something we intellectually agree with but donât spiritually live out.â. Thatâs another thing that I had never even realised. I love the idea of christianity. I love the idea of everyone being so loving to each other and the way God wants us to live but whether I actually live that out or not is a totally different thing. There have been loads of times Iâve known what the Bible told me to do or be like and Iâve ignored it. Sometimes when I go to church Iâll go, Iâll listen and Iâll know what Iâve just learnt about but I wonât apply it to my life because once I walk back out the church doors I let it go out of my mind again. I need to take what I learn and use it. Thatâs how people see God. You're the light that others need! Itâs a lot of pressure and it can be scary. I know it is for me because when I first started PC and my friend lost her faith it was the mockery and the actually quite strong valid arguments she made against christianity that scared me. I had no answers for her and I felt that I should have! I knew they were there somewhere I just didnât know what they were. The truth is I should have shown her christianity through my actions and came back to her on all those questions she had! Instead I got fed up and to be honest I doubted God myself but really he was trying to say âEmily show them, show them what a christian is! Help them with their questions and pray for them, pursue holiness, live spiritually and TRUST ME.â.
Luckily Godâs very patient and eventually, at the weekend I heard what he was telling me. I will try my best to pursue holiness and be a light to those who need God. Itâs pressure and itâs scary but Hebrews 12 v 1 says âLet us run with perseverance the race thatâs marked out for us.â. Keep going and keep trusting because one day itâll pay off! I hope this has related to some of you in some way and iâll leave you with a little verse thatâll hopefully help you with your faith and through your exams:
âCommit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.â -Proverbs 16v3.











