It's Poppin' Swiss Biss!

One more year left. Next year will be mine. 2017 year of the Rooster. I have a few new year resolutions. I would start off by wanting to go back to the gym. I definitely need to get back into dedication of this. I was doing so good and as soon as I broke up with my Ex things just went downhill from there. I just dropped the gym. I still haven't fully healed yet from that but hopefully I will soon to avoid any more discomfort I have with myself as a person and what I have become recently in the past couple of months. I also would like to look into saving some more money. Soon enough I will be entering a realm where I am no longer going to be so called "man of the house" I will no longer have time to go out. I will be going back into curfews with my parents. Shit is gonna suck but I need to be prepared for that. I definitely need to look into getting my car payments lowered which sucks because it was suppose to be lowered back in December but supposedly my credit moved nowhere so I'm stuck paying this amount still until September of this year which is a long ass time to be honest. I may want to go back to school. I need to get my priorities together. I am way too comfortable with my current employer. I need to understand that I will not be working here forever. I need to not live day by day with no thoughts but to start and plan my future out. Better safe than sorry. Better now than later. I'm going to have to have a thinking session on what to do with that. Maybe I need a new job...who knows. I would also like to have more control myself. That is something I cannot share on a personal level with my followers yet. More on that with my private blog. There are goals and there will be results. Take it or leave it this is me and there is no stopping me. I will be on top and I will succeed at what I want. I work hard and I understand I will have to make sacrifices throughout the way. I will focus mainly on this year. Dedication city. Let's hit em with the fucking low.

Glad to have showed my thoughts and love I have for someone. It didn't work which sucks but watchu gonna do. on to the movement. She reminded me of myself. One of the few that we were able to talk to one another with ease especially for so long. One of the few I can actually be myself with which is crazy. Its been years since I had someone like that and I was so fucking stupid to throw that away. I can only think that I deserve just this yet again to lose something like this. Oh well. Sympathy will get you nowhere. Its weird I wanna be single yet I wanna be with her. It makes no sense but what else makes sense. #donaldtrump. I don't know where life is going to take me. I don't even know if I should've said anything. Maybe I was too real. Maybe I tried too hard. Maybe I wasn't persistent enough. Maybe my timing was wrong. Maybe I should've said it to you in person. Maybe i should've just kept my mouth shut. Who knows...I just wish chances were given. I wish I had the opportunity i wish I could've just one time...I wish I had someone to vent to about this. I wish there was someone that can understand what I'm going through rather than having to rely on myself. I just wanna be happy. The things I do these days...the things I wanna do for you. Its unreal I don't even understand it. I just wanna do something...I just don't know what. What should I do....I'm so lost.

I got Jeanely, Joanie, Jenika, and Jessica. Wtf. Can't I just tell you my feelings...it's so hard I apologize for my low self esteem.