Pondries Of My Mind

Im gonna decapitate a dollar store baby doll and paint it. Updates coming soon :)

I need to find someone to worship. It made me feel better last time. But people like that dont like people like me. It never lasts long.

I know I wont remember this later. I never remember when I feel bad. Tired. Scared. And its still watching.

The first time I post in 2 weeks and its this shit. At least you all know im still here?

Its 5 am and Im hallucinating. And depressed. And so fucking tired. It has to go away soon, I know it will. The sun just needs to rise. I wish it would rise faster.

If I put it down they'll get me. I can see them. Staring at me. I know they're not real. Its in my head. I can feel my heart pounding anyway.

I wont do anything I cant take back. But isnt that everything?

I keep my room dark so I dont have to see myself.

I have had no motivation to do anything for the last 2 weeks. I am just so incredibly tired.

The deer ate the lamb while the lamb was screaming. Both were crying for help.

I want to name my first born giardia <3

If only i wasnt sober rn...