I came to live but I was born to die.

But this isn’t the first time someone has told me those things and then did another. It feels real and genuine this time, the others I always heard those words with a fantasy attached to them, i knew it would never happen, the words wouldn’t always be true, but the fantasy was strong, the want to believe even just for a second. This time doesn’t feel like that, it feels real, I know it is. I just can’t shake my past, I can’t get my self hatred out of my head. No, I don’t think I’m worthy, pretty enough, good enough. It’s never about you, it’s about me, about knowing that there are better people out there, maybe even better people for you, and I don’t want you to know that too, I don’t want you to see it like I see it.