loma

Your roommate, Billie, who's schedule was far less intense than yours, was growing concerned. She took note of how you walked through the door like a zombie everyday, your eyes lifeless and lacking the enthusiasm you had on your first day of classes. She doesn't even have enough fingers to count the number of times you fell asleep at your desk, still in your day clothes, snack wrappers littered around your desk. You will always be eternally grateful for Billie, who often cooked for you since she knew you frequently forgot to eat. She would also remind you to take breaks, sometimes having to physically drag you away from your textbooks to get you to even watch a few episodes of The Office with her. 

You truly appreciated Billie's help, but unfortunately, there seemed to be little that actually relieved you of the immense amounts of stress you were feeling. Even when you were having a good time with Billie, playing a game or eating out somewhere, you couldn't fully relax. School was always in the back of your mind and the weight never completely left your shoulders. 

Luckily for you, you only had to survive a few more weeks, and then you'd be on a break. It was a short break, too short in your opinion, but you would cherish it nonetheless. You just had to live long enough for its arrival.

You currently found yourself at your desk, like always, nose buried in a textbook, your notebook open right next to it. You were reviewing your notes, highlighting things as needed and trying your best to store all of the important information in your brain for an upcoming exam. You weren't even sure how much time had passed, but one glance out the window told you that it must have been late afternoon, as you could see through your open blinds the pinks and oranges that painted the sky. 

At some point, your stomach rumbled, quickly reminding you that you hadn't eaten anything since you came home hours ago. You sighed, not wanting to get up and power through the remaining vocabulary words you had left to go through. 

Thankfully, though, you didn't have to get up anyway; as if on cue, Billie had knocked on your door just a few short minutes after your stomach started grumbling pathetically at you. 

“Come in,” you announced, still looking down at your textbook. You heard the telltale sound of your door hinges letting out a whiny creak as Billie opened it slowly. 

“I made you food again, because it seems you've forgotten that you're a human that needs it to live.” Billie said, but you could hear the playful tone in her voice. Your lips were already curving into a small smile just at her presence. 

You turned your head to meet her eyes, being greeted with Billie walking over to you to put a plate down on your desk. It was a simple sandwich with fries. When the smell hit your nose it only made your stomach noisier. That was your final cue to close your textbook, pushing it aside alongside several highlighters and your notebook, bringing the plate closer to you and not wasting another second to dig in. You heard Billie plop on your bed behind you, which you of course didn't mind at all.

“You need to take better care of yourself.” Billie stated, sounding like a worried mother. You turned around a bit in your seat to face her better, munching on a fry as you did so.

“Tell me something I don't know,” you replied dryly. “I know you're worried about me Bils, but I'm okay, really. I mean, I'm managing.” 

Upon looking at Billie's face, she didn't seem all that convinced by your answer. “Be honest with yourself.” She stated simply.

You were silent for a bit as you considered her words. You always told yourself that you were doing fine and that you didn't need any help at all --but given the fact that Billie always had to keep you from thinking about your assignments all the time, and that she often had to remind you to do basic human things, it occurred to you then that maybe you weren't doing all that great after all. You always thought you were decent at handling stress, which was true to an extent, but it almost always broke you eventually, leaving you feeling burnt out and hopeless. You definitely felt like you were on the brink of yet another burn-out episode. Like always, Billie always seemed to sense when you were at the edge, about to fall.

“Okay, maybe you're right,” you admitted. “I am more stressed than I ever have been in my entire life and I don't know what to do.” You said, the sincerity in your voice unmistakable. 

“Well, sadly it seems like nothing really helps you forget about school… although there is one thing I don't think you've tried.” Billie said. Your curiosity was immediately piqued, and you listened intently to what she would see you next. You observed her facial expressions, watching her concerned face slowly morph into a suggestive grin. 

“Oh yeah? What's that?” You encouraged. You definitely couldn't have predicted the words Billie would utter next. 

“Masturbation, duh.” She said confidently. You were thankful that you were mostly done with your food at that point and that you weren't actively chewing because you absolutely would have choked.

“What?” You said, even though you heard her loud and clear. Billie knew you didn't misunderstand her either, but she didn't mind repeating it one bit. 

“I said,” she cleared her throat for dramatic effect. “Masturbation.” 

“And that would help me how?” You inquired. Billie looked at you like you had three heads. 

“Girl, what do you mean ‘how’? There's like, a million articles online that talk about how masturbating helps with relieving stress. You know, like sex.” 

“Sure, but…” you trailed off. It had occurred to you at that moment that you never really talked about this kind of thing before. Billie seemed to figure out rather quickly that this conversation was unfamiliar territory to you, based on your sudden change in demeanor and the timidness that had found its way to your voice. 

“Have you… never touched yourself before? It's perfectly okay if you haven't.” She said softly. 

You thought about it, but didn't have to think for very long. You never dabbled in the art or self-pleasure growing up simply because you were always far too scared. When you became an adult, it quickly became something that you pushed in the far back of your mind. Suddenly, you felt embarrassment overcome you. You weren't exactly sure why you were feeling embarrassed – it could've been the nature of the conversation itself, or perhaps you were feeling a bit insecure, having been reminded of your inexperience when it came to the act of touching yourself. 

“No, I haven't. I don't even… where would I even–” 

“I'd be happy to act as a guide of sorts. I'm by no means an expert and obviously I don't know what you like, but I can introduce you to it. If you want.” Billie suggested. You met her gaze and noticed the intensity of her stare. She was fully serious, waiting patiently for your response. 

You don't know what took over you in that moment, but you found yourself agreeing. 

“Okay. I'm down.” You told her, to which Billie just grinned widely, seemingly very pleased with your choice. 

“Great. Let me start with some advice–” 

“Wait.” You interjected. You felt heat rush to your face. “We're just gonna… get into it now?” 

Billie laughed, her infectious giggles filling the room. “Well, yeah? Don't tell me you wanna get back to studying. It's getting late and I know you'd rather do anything else, so why not now?”

Fair point, you thought. You sighed, and then nodded. 

“Yeah, okay, you're not wrong about that.” You replied. 

“I know. So, listen closely.” 

“Okay, Professor Eilish.” You said jokingly. 

“I'd say the most important thing is setting the mood. A dim room is great, or a dark room with candles. You could even have music playing if you want. The right atmosphere helps with feeling aroused and whatnot.” 

You nodded, listening intently, your cheeks still burning due to the conversation you were having right now. 

“And then,” Billie continued, “You need to find something that turns you on. It can be anything. You already know that there's porn you can watch, but there's also porn you can read, and listen to. Or you could just use your imagination.” She said.

Upon hearing her words, you mind began wandering. You realized in that moment that you had no clue what turns you on. You've watched porn before when you were a teenager, but it wasn't to get off, it was purely out of a naive curiosity. You genuinely had no idea what you truly liked, and the idea of trying to search for something seemed daunting since there was so much out there and you had no idea where to start. 

Billie seemed to take note of your far away gaze, pausing before continuing her lecture. “Okay, it seems like you have a million thoughts running through your mind right now. I can answer any questions you might have.” With a smirk, she added, “Don't be shy.” 

You cleared your throat, shifting a bit in your seat. 

“Um… I guess I just… I mean, how do I…” 

“Go about finding something that you like?” Billie finished for you. You were grateful she knew you well enough to finish the sentences you just couldn't seem to verbalize yourself.

Pulling your bottom lip between your teeth nervously, you nodded. “Yeah. How do I do… that. I mean… where do I start?” Your voice came out small.

Billie let out another series of chuckles. “God, you're so cute,” she muttered under her breath, but you managed to just barely hear it. Your already warm cheeks just continued to burn hotter. 

“Shut up.” You said with no real malice, a small, bashful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Sorry, sorry– to answer your question, I have a website I can show you that I usually go to when I need to release some steam. You can just browse the different categories and go from there.” 

“Okay. Seems simple enough.” You said. 

“Anything else you're wondering about?” Billie inquired. 

“Actually, yeah…” you began, another question popping into your mind then, one that you contemplated asking; but curiosity got the best of you and the question slipped out anyway. 

“What… what do you like?” You asked. You weren't sure why you wanted to know. Billie didn't seem to answer right away and your mind quickly began spiraling as you instantly felt regretful of the words that just escaped you.

“Sorry, I– you don't have to answer. I don't know why I asked–” 

“Oh my god, it's totally okay, relax.” Billie said through laughter. “My taste is kinda all over the place, I'll watch almost anything, within limits, of course. Nothing straight up insane. And I don't like to watch the cheesy, scripted stuff, either. I like the authentic stuff. And there needs to be passion. Hunger. I don't like it too slow, either – I like a little bit of… intensity.” 

“Oh,” was all you could say in response, feeling a strange fluttery feeling in your stomach. Suddenly, your mind began conjuring images of Billie watching the kinds of videos she just described, head thrown back, eyes closed–

You very quickly snapped out of it when you heard another one of Billie's giggles, the sound pulling you out of the dirty recesses of your mind. 

“What on earth are you thinking about over there? I saw your eyes widen a bit.” Billie teased. 

“Nothing,” you lied. “I just… never had this conversation with anyone before so it's… a little weird for me. Unfamiliar territory, y'know.”

“I totally get it,” Billie replied. “There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, okay? You know me, I'm like an open book. You can ask me whatever you want. I mean it. There are no dumb questions when it comes to this stuff.” 

You felt your heart warm at Billie's genuine willingness to ease any uncertainties you had regarding this topic. It reminded you of just how grateful you were to have a friend and a roommate so transparent and honest. 

“Thanks, Billie,” you said with a smile. “I appreciate it.” 

“Of course. Now, I just have one more thing I wanna tell you.” 

You met her gaze curiously. “And that is?” 

“Well, there are many ways to go about actually masturbating and I just wanted to give you some options. You're probably familiar with fingering already, but you don't have to do that if you don't wanna dive into penetration just yet.”

“Oh… okay.” You said quietly. 

“You could try humping a pillow. Or just the mattress. That works really well for some people. Personally, though, I like to use my vibrator.” 

Your eyebrows raised in slight surprise before remembering when she bought it months ago. You honestly had forgotten she owned one, because she never used it when you were around– she never used it when you were sleeping either, because in her words, she has a tendency to get loud and always wanted to be respectful of you.

Once again, Billie's laughter filled the room. “Your face is killing me. Seriously.” She said, clearly amused by the reactions you were giving her.

You glared at her playfully. “Stop laughing at me!” You exclaimed. 

“I'm sorry, it's just–” she took a moment to breathe. “Your facial expressions are just very entertaining.” 

“Obviously.” you replied with a small grin.

"Did... did you forget I had a vibrator? Didn't I literally show you when it got here?"

“That was forever ago. You know my memory is awful. Cut me some slack.” You responded, earnestly; your memory truly was terrible. But upon having this conversation, you were taken back to that specific moment in time. You remember just studying like always when you heard Billie cheer excitedly from the living room. Curious, you wanted to see what had Billie so happy.

When you walked into the living room, you had seen Billie seated on the couch, in the middle of tearing open a plain brown box. It had no label on it or any other indication of what it could possibly be. But you quickly realized what it was when she picked it up and held it in her hands. 

Even though you had never really been exposed to sex toys prior to that moment, you knew what this object was. It was small, colored a vibrant blue, and it was a strange, organic shape, slightly curved at the end. It was, unmistakbly, a device solely designed for pleasure.

You remember Billie gushing about it and praising the device like it was some higher power.

“Alright, fair point. My mistake for relying on your memory.” She said teasingly. “Anyway, if you want, I can let you borrow it. You can… y'know… test it out.”

Now you were surprised for a different reason. “Really?” 

Billie nodded. "I'm dead serious. It's clean, so you don't even have to worry about that. I can lend it to you if you wanna use it tonight." She offered. 

You thought about your decision for a few moments, still feeling strangely nervous about the whole situation. For some reason, Billie’s vibrator intimidated you; it was a small, unassuming device, and yet it honestly scared you a little (and you were far too embarrassed to say that aloud).

“How about I show you how it works real quick?” Billie spoke, yet again pulling you out of your thoughts. Your eyebrows raised at her words, and Billie chuckled again at your emotiveness. 

“Not like that,” she said through amused laughter. “I literally just mean turning it on.”

“Oh. Okay.” You said, clearing your throat. “Sure, I guess.”

“Great. I’ll be back.” Billie replied, briefly leaving your room to go retrieve the item in question. She was only gone for a few seconds, returning with the small, compact object in her hand. You couldn’t tear your eyes off the object when she walked back in, intrigued by it. You were no doubt staring at the thing like it was a specimen in a petri dish, eyebrows furrowed, and Billie snorted, holding back some giggles as she took in your expression.

She gestured you over to her with a wave of her hand, and silently, you made your way over to the bed to sit next to her. 

“Okay. Give me your hand.” She instructed.

You looked at her quizzically. 

“Do you want me to show you or not?” She said teasingly, a light grin resting on her face. With a sigh, you eventually gave her your hand, still partially confused.

“I’m gonna show you the different power modes on this thing,” She said, holding your hand and placing the head of the toy on the back of it. She switched on a button, and immediately you felt a fairly strong vibration on your skin. Your eyes widened ever so slightly at the feeling.

“Shouldn’t you start with the lightest power mode?” You asked her, to which Billie just smirked.

“That is the lightest mode.”

Your eyes were big now. “That’s supposed to be light? That’s… starting kinda strong already.” You said, surprise lacing your tone. Billie just looked at you excitedly.

“But it feels nice, right?” She said, and before you could respond, she was already switching to the next mode. “This is medium now.”

The next vibration was just a bit more intense than the previous one, and you had a similar reaction. When Billie eventually switched to the strongest mode, the vibrations were so strong you had to pull your hand out of her grasp—you couldn’t image something with power like that going anywhere near your nether regions if your hand couldn’t even handle it.

“Billie, I don’t know…” you said shyly. “It seems like a bit much for my first time.”

Even though you saw a flicker of disappointment flash across Billie’s face, she didn’t press you. “I understand. You’re probably right,” she said. “But—I’ll just leave it with you, in case you change your mind.”

“Billie–”

“You totally don’t have to use it. But… it feels so good. I swear.”

You just chuckled to yourself, getting off the bed and returning to your least favorite spot in your room, your desk. 

“I should finish studying.” You said. “Thanks for the, uh… demonstration.”

Billie winked at you. “Anytime.”

“Oh my god, bye.” You said with a playful roll of your eyes. The last thing you heard as Billie left your room was the sound of her contagious giggles.

You only studied for a few more hours; by the time you finished, it was dark out, and exhaustion had fully settled into your bones. You had a feeling Billie was already asleep, and you decided to quickly wash up and get ready for bed yourself.

Upon standing up, though, it didn’t take you long to notice that Billie had in fact left the vibrator on your bedside table, like she said she would.

You eyed it curiously, observing it carefully, the same way you'd stare some exotic animal at at a zoo.

You walked over and sat down on the plush mattress of your bed, picking up the device and actually holding it for yourself. For something so powerful, it was pretty lightweight.

You replayed Billie's words in your head. She had talked about this thing like it solved every single one of life's problems, which definitely left quite the impression on you. You couldn't lie—you were extremely intrigued. Nervous, but intrigued.

"I guess I'll see what all the hype is about…" you muttered to yourself. You were simply going to do a little test run, and if you hated it, you'd hand it back to Billie and forget about it. Simple.

You thought back to Billie's advice from earlier. You first turned off the lights, leaving your bedside table lamp turned on so that the lighting was dim and not distracting. You then laid down on your bed, trying your best to be as relaxed as possible. You opted for not playing any music since you felt that would take you out of the moment.

The next step was to find something to actually get off to, and for several long minutes, you just laid there, racking your brain.

At first, you tried just browsing through a website. But there were too many pop-up ads and you really didn't like the videos that you were confronted with on the home page, so you quickly exited the site after only a couple minutes of parousing it.

You then turned to written erotica, but nothing was really hitting. You came across some wonderfully written posts but unfortunately, none of them struck a particular cord for you. Your last option was audio erotica, but you couldn't find anything that sounded interesting you after too many minutes of scrolling and filtering.

Tossing your phone to the side, you sighed, feeling a bit defeated; but you weren't going to give up yet.

"Fuck it. Just… go for it." You mumbled to yourself, finslly turning on the device and jumping a little when you heard the sounds of thr strong vibrations. Thankfully, it wasn't too terribly loud. Billie was somewhat of a heavy sleeper, anyway.

You remembered when Billie had tested it out on your hand and how strong it felt then. Now, you were going to be using it properly. You couldn't deny your nerves; you weren't even sure why you were nervous, but you could definitely feel the tension in your entire body, and you hadn't even begun using the toy yet.

You looked down at your body; you were still clothed, wearing some flimsy, thin pajama shorts and a white camisole. Still feeling a bit anxious about using the toy directly, you decided to keep the shorts on, assuming that it would still be pleasurable even without direct contact. The vibrations were still so intimidating to you that you felt like you still needed some kind of barrier.

You didn't place it directly over your center immediately, instead putting the toy near your inner thighs, trying to get yourself a little bit worked up first. You closed your eyes, allowing your mind to drift to whatever it wanted to in that moment; but even when you were given free reign to think about literally whatever you wanted, you just couldn't get yourself to feel anything other than the tension in your shoulders.

In frustration, you turned the toy off. You stared at it your hand, looking at it quizzically, as if something was wrong with the device itself and you weren't the reason you couldn't get off.

You got up, quietly stepping out of your room, wanting to see if Billie was up to give it back to her. You saw that her door was open just a crack, and you could tell her lamp was still on, so you made your presence known.

You knocked on the door while opening it, being met with the sight of Billie curled up under her covers, scribbling away in her journal. She looked up at you when she saw you walk in, looking slightly surprised.

"What's up?" She asked, setting her pencil down.

You wordlessly held out the vibrator. "Please, take this back."

Billie looked at the vibrator, and then back at you, sporting a small frown.

"It didn't die, did it? I swear I just charged that thing."

"No, Billie, it didn't die. It's just… nothing worked. Like, I couldn't… y'know."

Even with your extremely vague response, Billie was immediately able to read between the lines.

"Oh," She said, her expression morphing into something resembling pity. "You couldn't get turned on?"

Your cheeks heated up at her wording despite yourself. You sighed. "No. No, I couldn't. Maybe there's just something wrong with me, or—"

"No, don't speak like that," Billie interrupted, her voice soft. "It's alright. It can be kinda daunting trying to touch yourself for the first time. I felt the same way once. You just need to really allow yourself to relax." She kindly explained, shutting her journal shut as she did so and placing it on her bedside table.

You let out another sigh, this one heavier than the last. "I tried to relax. I just couldn't. I don't know why, but I was just… too nervous. It's so stupid." You spoke, gazing down at the plush carpet beneath your feet in mild embarrasment.

"It's totally okay to feel nervous, ___. It's not stupid. You know, I could, um…" Billie trailed off, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes drifted elsewhere.

You looked at her again, quirking one eyebrow, curious and patiently awaiting for her to finish her sentence.

"You could…?" You prompted, urging her to continue.

Billie chuckled to herself, as if what she was about to say was a little ridiculous.

"I could… help you?" She questioned, looking at you hesitantly. Your brows furrowed, face contorting in slight confusion.

"You've already helped me enough, Bils. I appreciate it, I really do, but—"

"No, I mean… like, physically help you." She corrected. That left you effectively speechless. You stared at her while wearing an incredulous expression, giggling nervously at her suggestion, immediately assuming she wasn't being serious.

"Girl, shut the fuck up." You spoke through awkward, breathy laughter. But when you looked at Billie, she wasn't giggling with you, instead sporting a light, amused smirk.

"I'm serious." She stated.

You felt yourself freeze. The smile that you had been sporting quickly disappeared from your face.

"What—how would you even—"

Billie stood up, already heading toward the door. "C'mon. I'll show you how."

You didn't follow her right away, still stood in place, caught completely off guard. You could feel your heart rate pick up, hearing the sound in your ears. You weren't sure if Billie's plan was going to work, because the thought of her being present during such a intimate act only made you more nervous.

But when you turned around and saw Billie standing by her door, waiting expectedly for you to follow her out with that same little grin resting on her lips… you threw all of your fucks out the window.

"Okay. Sure. Why the hell not." You said aloud, mostly to yourself. Billie chuckled at that, and then the two of you exited her bedroom and swiftly made it back to yours.

When you both were inside, you closed the door, even though it was only the two of you living here. Billie had walked to the other side of your bed with pep in her step, gesturing to it like she was presenting it to you.

"Lay down, c'mon." She spoke. Slowly, with hesitant steps, you walked to your bed, following her orders and lying down flat on your back; the same position you were in mere minutes ago.

You didn't miss the way Billie's eyes trailed down your body as she stood over you, lingering on your cotton pajama shorts that had a heart pattern on them. Despite still being clothed, you strangely felt exposed under her gaze.

"Cute shorts." She muttered. She complimented you all the time, but for some reason, this one felt a bit different, and you could feel in the way the tips of your ears felt hot.

"Uh… thanks. Bought them off Amazon like a week ago." You replied. Billie chuckled, the sound low and affecting you in a way it never had before.

"Well, I'd love to keep looking at them, but we don't really need them right now."

Your eyebrows raised ever so slightly. "You want them off?"

"Mhm. But keep your panties on." She instructed. There was something about the way she was speaking to you—she wasn't asking, but softly demanding. There were many ways in which Billie was dominant in your normal, day-to-day lives; she often ordered food for you, knowing your favorite dishes by heart. In public places with a lot of people, she liked having an arm around your waist. She of course loved making you food. It even extended to small tasks, like opening jars or carrying heavy grocery bags when you both went shopping. It's not that she thought you were incapable; you knew that. She just really loved taking care of you. Being in control was something Billie always fell into naturally—not in a degrading, toxic way, but in the way that made you feel deeply appreciated.

You couldn't help but notice how that same casual dominance was present in this moment, too. It was making you feel a familiar warmth, not the kind that you felt in your cheeks when you were embarrassed but the kind that made you feel as if you were slightly intoxicated.

Back in the present, you slowly nodded, removing your cotton shorts wordlessly. Billie's were locked onto every movement you made.

"Good," she praised. You felt a pleasant chill run up your spine; why did you want to hear that again?

"Now, we are going to get you to relax. I want you to close your eyes." She calmly instructed. You obeyed, letting your eyes softly fall shut.

"With your eyes closed, I want you to focus on comforting sensations. For example, the feeling of the soft comforter beneath you, or the pillow supporting your head."

Billie's low, sooting voice, paired with you focusing intently on those same sensations Billie had just described had you almost immediately relaxing your shoulders and releasing any tightness in your chest. Your breathing even slowed, and it became more gentle and controlled. It was like Billie was putting a spell on you, with the way she was so effectively getting you to such a peaceful state of mind.

"There you go… I can see the tension leaving your shoulders. You're doing so good for me," she encouraged. You didn't miss how she added for me at the end of that sentence. That made you feel a flutter in your stomach.

"What now?" You asked, voice quiet and tentative.

"Now," Billie began, and you could hear the mattress shifting under her weight as she sat down next to you. Her perfume that she always sprayed on before bed washed over you, making you fall even deeper into the dreamy headspace you were in.

"I'm going to gently touch you. Is that okay?"

It's more than okay, you thought. You didn't verbalize that, though. Instead, you opted for a simple "Go ahead."

When she got your permission, you felt her hand very softly caress your right arm. Her touch was featherlight, barely there, but it was nearly electrifying. You could feel her fingertips grazing your skin, leaving a ghostly trail of warmth, like she was slowly setting your skin ablaze.

"When it comes to touching yourself, you can't just dive straight in. You have to tease yourself; make yourself want it, y'know?" She spoke as she continued her ministrations, switching to your other arm every few minutes. You remained silent, just letting her voice flood your ears.

"Really caress yourself everywhere. This helps with finding your erogenous zones. For some people, it's less obvious areas, like the arms or legs…" she explained. She shifted attention away from your arms and ever so gently brushed your inner thighs.

"Erogenous zones are often down here, of course—but also near the breasts, and around the nipples. Can you take your shirt off for me?"

You felt your breathing pick up ever so slightly. Your lips parted, and with clumsy hands, you pulled your shirt over your head, Billie helping you with tugging it completely off. You had merely been wearing that thin camisole for bed, so you weren’t wearing a bra, fully exposed before your roommate's intense gaze (a gaze so intense that you could even feel with your eyes still shut).

You didn't feel Billie touch you for a couple minutes, and the pausing of her pleasurable ministrations almost had you whining, but you controlled yourself.

"Billie?" You called out, feeling the slightest bit of anxiety creep into your system. It immediately went away when you heard Billie's voice hit your ears again.

"Sorry," She said with a low giggle. "Was just admiring." She replied casually. You felt your heart skip a bit at how quietly she said it, voice barely above a whisper. It was only the two of you in the room and yet she still spoke in a way that felt like she didn't want anyone else to hear such words.

Her hands slowly trailed up your stomach before squeezing your breasts gently. The feeling had your back arching just a few millimeters off the bed. You couldn't stop the gasp from leaving your throat when she then used her fingers to circle your nipples, pulling them with the perfect amount of force; not too little, but not too much that it caused pain.

"You sound pretty," Billie complimented. "Do you like when I touch you here?" She asked, and you could hear the teasing smile in her voice.

You felt like you couldn't speak, so you just nodded fervently.

At that, Billie pulled one of your nipples with just a bit more pressure. The feeling had you biting your lip, the struggle to stay quiet feeling more and more like a losing battle with every second.

"Words." Was all Billie said, her tone the most firm you had heard it all night so far.

"I really like it, Billie." You eventually replied. You were squirming a bit more now, writhing under Billie's magical hands.

"Good. That's a good girl." She praised. This time, the small moan spilled out of you before you could stop it.

"Don't hold back, okay? I wanna hear you," Billie said, giving your breasts one last squeeze before removing her hands. You then felt and heard her reposition herself; she was still beside you, but now she must've been standing again.

"Spread your legs." She gently commanded. You listened, legs opening as if automatic.

You felt her crawl into bed and into the space your now spread legs had revealed. She went back to caressing your legs and inner thighs, still avoiding the spot you desired her most.

"Wish you could see what I see, baby…" She said, and the pet name only made the pool of desire in your stomach even stronger. It rolled off her tongue so naturally and casually that in the far back of your mind, you wondered if she had been waiting for the right moment to finally call you that.

It was something you'd have to think more about later, because the only thing you could focus on now was the sound of the vibrator switching on and suddenly feeling Billie's breath in front of your center. You still had your eyes closed tightly, honing in on every sensation, just like Billie had asked.

"Are you this wet just for me?" she asked, admiring the dark stain on your underwear; you could clearly hear the teasing smirk in her voice.

"Fuck—Billie, please." You whined. You didn't care if you sounded pathetic at this point. The desire you had for Billie had grown so strong that it was completely overwhelming you. Your body was aching for her in a way that you had never experienced before, and it was intoxicating.

"You sound so pretty when you beg… who am to deny you?" Billie replied, and without a second of hesitation, she placed the vibrator directly on top of your center, holding it there firmly and relentlessly. The reaction that came from you was instant—you immediately felt your back arch ever so slightly, hands fisting the sheets as pleasure shot through. Billie just maintained her eye contact, hooded blue eyes fixed on your every expression. When you started to buck your hips a little, she held them down, forcing you to feel every sensation.

"Does that feel good?" Billie asked, eyes hooded. You croaked out a "yes" to the best of your ability, squirming endlessly, your legs wanting to close but Billie forcefully kept them open.

"Mm, I bet it does," Billie replied, and you could still hear the smirk in her voice. "And what if I just moved it up a tiny bit…" She muttered, and for a second, you were confused, furrowing your eyebrows slightly, but you very quickly understood what she meant when suddenly the vibrations felt stronger than they ever did before. A high-pitched gasp escaped your throat as Billie held the vibrator directly on your clothed clit, pressing down firmly.

"That feels even better, right?" She questioned, knowing full well your ability to speak was being hindered. The fact that she was most likely enjoying how she was slowly ruining you only aroused you even more.

Suddenly, you felt her go up a power mode, the vibrations on your clit even stronger, and that was enough to have you trying to squirm away, but Billie never let you get very far, keeping the toy pressed down.

"Fuck, Billie—holy fuck—" you cursed, chest rising and falling rapidly as the speed of your breathing increased. You felt a strange sensation simmering in your abdomen; like a rope being pulled taut and being on the verge of snapping completely. You never experienced a feeling like that before but it didn't take you long to put 2 and 2 together. You were going to have your first orgasm and it only took a few minutes. You couldn't even get yourself aroused in that amount of time.

"Billie—I'm gonna—" You tried to warn her but you kept interrupting yourselves with gasps and cries, the pleasure overwhelming you. But little did you know, Billie already knew you were close, long before you came to that realization yourself.

"Yeah? You gonna cum for me? Soak these panties all the way through?" Billie spoke, and you could feel her breath hitting your core, only adding to the sensations you were feeling. The rope in your abdomen only grew tighter and tighter and tighter—

Until Billie suddenly stopped, removing the vibrator from your clit and turning it off altogether.

In surprise and frustration, your eyes shot open. You looked down at Billie, who was still between your legs, with an expression that made you look like a kicked puppy.

Billie just laughed, amusement coloring her face. "I know, baby. I know. I just wanted to have a little fun." She said, and you groaned, your head falling back onto the pillow in annoyance.

"Bils… I was so close…" you whined, jutting out your bottom lip in a pout.

"When I do let you cum, it'll feel even better, okay? Just gotta be patient, mama." Billie replied.

"Please Billie, I need—" your pleas were cut off when you felt Billie's fingers rubbing your folds through the fabric of your underwear, keeping her movements slow and steady. A small gasp escaped you as you honed in on the feeling of Billie's fingers.

"I'm gonna take these panties off now, okay?" Billie said sweetly. You nodded, after which Billie began to slide the ruined fabric down your legs. Once they were completely removed, she threw them randomly in some corner of your bedroom.

You squirmed a bit at the feeling of cool air hitting your now entirely exposed cunt. Billie's fingers were quick to return to their previous ministrations, rubbing her fingers against your lips, spreading them apart every now and then. If you strained your ears, you could just faintly hear how wet you were, the noises making your face run hot.

"You have such a pretty pussy, baby. It's just aching for more, isn't it?"

You nodded fervently. "Yes, please, Billie. Please." You whined, uncaring of how pathetic you sounded in the moment.

"What are you begging for, mama? What do you want?"

You let out a pained sigh. "You know what I want, Bils."

Billie just chuckled, and to your complete surprise, she gave your pussy a hefty slap, the sound filling the room.

You let out a sharp yelp, hips flinching at the sensation that was a mix of pleasure and pain.

"Good girls ask nicely." She stated.

You tried to steady your breathing, willing yourself to calm down enough to reply. "Please make cum, Billie. Please." You spoke softly, voice still quivering from how high-strung you were from how close she had taken you to the edge before. You saw the faint smirk on Billie's face widen, seemingly pleased with your words.

"There you go. That wasn't so hard, was it?" She said, her low voice causing a shiver to crawl up your back. Upon hearing your polite request, Billie took the vibrator and began just gently teasing your entrance with the tip of it, pushing it a couple inches in and taking it out.

You released a sharp, high-pitched gasp, your head falling back into the pillows as you tried to mentally prepare for what was to come.

"Have you ever penetrated yourself before? With your fingers or anything else?"

You shook your head, hearing your heart pumping in your ears. "No…" you trailed off, bashful.

"That's okay, baby. I'm gonna push this vibrator into you, okay? It might feel weird at first. Tell me stop if it's too much." Billie said sincerely, looking at you with a firm, serious gaze.

"Okay." You replied, voice small. You swallowed nervously.

"Good," Billie spoke, teasing the toy in further. She let out a low chuckle as she watched herself push it in deeper, your hole taking it in greedily. "You're so wet, mama, it's going in so easily for me…"

When the toy was as deep as it could be, Billie didn't move, watching your expression carefully. "Still feel good?"

You adjusted your hips, trying to get used to the foreign sensation. There was no pain, fortunately, but like Billie had warned, it did feel strange—but not entirely unpleasant, either.

"It's okay, Billie. You can try moving."

Billie hesitated for a bit before nodding. "Okay, baby. I'm gonna move."

Billie, being ever so gentle, moved the toy in and out of you at a snail's pace, still studying your expressions for any sign of pain. At this point, your eyes had fluttered shut again, hyperfocused on the sensation of the toy being thrust in and out of you. It was uncomfortable for a good few minutes, but gradually, the feeling transformed into something more pleasurable. Your eyebrows furrowed as you began to squirm a bit. Billie noticed your slight movements, and because she hadn't heard you mention anything about pain, she prepared herself to go a little faster, readjusting the toy in her grip.

"I can go quicker, mama. Just tell me."

You nodded fervently. "Yes—please. A little faster."

Billie wasted no time in picking up the pace, her wrist moving at about a medium speed now. You went from being mostly silent to letting out a few whimpers here and there, biting your lip in attempts to control your volume. It wasn't until Billie had just slightly changed the angle of her thrusts that a sharp moan was ripped from you.

"Oh my god, Billie—what the fuck." You sputtered out, feeling the toy hit against a certain, special spot over and over again that almost had you levitating.

"That feel good? Hm?" Billie spoke, keeping her thrusts precise and steady. You nodded once more, trying to keep your sounds at a respectable volume.

"Yes—fuck—faster, Billie, please."

Billie wordlessly sped up her movements, the wet sounds being produced by the toy moving in and out of you loud and obvious now. You would have been embarrassed if it didn't feel like you were ascending to heaven at the moment.

"You've waited long enough, I think you deserve to cum now, hm? You wanna cum for me?"

Billie didn't even give you a chance to answer her as she suddenly turned the vibrator back on, at an even higher setting than before. You stopped caring about the neighbors at this point, moans pouring out of you as Billie kept at it, her movements relentless. To add fuel to the fire, you felt her thumb press directly onto her clit, rubbing it in firm circles while the other hand continued those steady thrusts. She almost seemed robotic with how precise she was.

Your hands had made their way to her hair now, your back a couple inches off the bed as you began to feel that rope in your stomach again, being pulled tighter and tighter with each second.

"Billie—holy fuck. Please, please, please." You begged, your eyes screwed shut.

"That's it, baby. That's it." Billie said lowly, feeling a slight soreness in her wrist but never stopping for so much as a second, addicted to the sounds that she was getting out of you. All she could picture in her head was the sight of you coming undone, the rope finally snapping.

That tightness in your stomach was unbearable now, and with just a few more calculated thrusts, your first orgasm washed over you in big, intense waves, a loud cry escaping you.

"Good fucking girl, that's right," Billie said, quickly removing the toy, turning it off, and tossing it aside. "My good girl can give me another one, can't she?"

For a split second, you were perplexed, still riding the aftershocks and not quite feeling like you were back on earth yet. But soon enough you understood what Billie meant when you felt two of her fingers enter you abruptly. Another loud moan spilled from you as she very quickly found that exact same spot inside of you with ease, rubbing against it with the tip of her fingers with deadly accuracy. You tried to close your legs again but once again she kept them pried open, completely overwhelming you. You tapped Billie's arm desperately.

"Billie, wait—oh fuck—"

She just chuckled, maintaining the same relentless speed, her fingers shiny with your essence that continued to spill out of you endlessly. Her eyes had gone from your face, contorted in pleasure, to the way your hole greedily sucked in her fingers with ease, watching with admiration.

"Give me another one, mama, c'mon." She said, biting her lip in concentration.

"I can't—fuck, Billie, I can't—"

"You will." Billie said firmly, suddenly wrapping her lips around your abused clit and sucking lightly, all while her fingers still kept up their intense movements, curling up bit more to hit that spot inside of you with even more intensity.

You couldn't fight the way your eyes rolled back into your head for a few blinding moments, your jaw hanging open in a silent scream.

"Shit—please, don't stop—fuck—!" You moaned, feeling that familiar tension yet again, just in the span of a couple minutes. Billie heeded your words, not stopping or slowing down for a second, keeping her eyes locked onto you. You tried your best to hold eye contact, but the second that rope snapped again, your head crashed into the pillows once more, seeing stars as your second orgasm crashed down on you even harder.

But this time, Billie didn't stop, pulling away from your clit and this time focusing entirely on her fingers still thrusting inside you, eyebrows stitched together in pure concentration. Your g-spot was being relentlessly attacked, and this time, you felt a slightly different feeling in your belly. It was a strange pressure, one that had your eyes widening.

"Billie—it feels like I'm gonna—"

"Let it happen, baby. It's okay."

Your vision began to blur, eyes watery from the intensity of the sensation you were feeling. Your face was twisted up in pleasure, but also in slight concern. The pressure continued to build, your chest rapidly rising and falling as you tried to obey Billie by not fighting it.

"I want you you to make a big fucking mess for me, yeah? Soak my fingers, my face, the bed, fucking everything. C'mon, mama."

Billie's words were enough to finally send you over, the pressure in your stomach abruptly bursting, and before you could even realize it, a clear liquid was gushing out of you like a waterfall, your back fully off the bed and legs twitching uncontrollably as a long moan escaped you.

Billie kept a satisfied smirk on her face throughout the whole thing, rubbing your clit furiously as you squirted, spraying it everywhere. She only stopped when you began tapping her arm weakly, finally removing her hand, but not before giving your oversensitive clit a few tiny slaps, chuckling at how your hips twitched at every one.

Finally, she moved from between your legs to next to you, resting her head on a pillow and watching you as you steadied your breathing. One of her hands went down to your stomach, comfortingly rubbing in slow circles.

You couldn't open your eyes for a while, but when you finally did, you immediately turned your head to face Billie, smiling lazily.

"Hey." Billie said softly, almost shyly, like she didn't just nearly make you pass out.

"Hi." you replied, matching her quiet tone, your voice now having an unmistakable rasp to it from how loud you were.

There was a comfortble silence that settled between the both of you as you just gazed at each other. You laid your hand on top of Billie's, which was now just resting on your stomach casually, your thumb caressing the back of it.

You were first to break the quiet after a few minutes had passed.

"Billie… what the hell even was that?" you said with an airy laugh, the reality of the situation just now dawning on you. Billie laughed alongside you, shrugging her shoulders.

"Just helping out my best friend. That helped you de-stress, right?"

You gave an enthusiastic nod of your head. "Oh yeah, definitely."

"Then my work here is done." Billie said, causing the both of you to erupt into giggles again.

But when the laughter subsided, your smile eventually began to fade as a thought entered your mind. Billie noticed.

"Hey, what's up?"

You sat up, the best you could anyway, with your legs feeling numb, leaning back against the headboard. Billie mimicked your movement, keeping her eyes on you.

"It's just… what does this mean? I mean—does this change anything?" You asked.

"Between us?"

You nodded.

Billie chuckled, leaning in close, eyes glancing at your lips. "It doesn't have to."

Slowly, a smile appeared on your face again. "Yeah, you're right. It doesn't."

One of Billie's hands came up to caress your cheek, and eventually, you caved into the urge to kiss her, closing the short distance between the two of you. It was slow and passionate and far from innocent, Billie's tongue immediately swiping at your bottom lip, silently asking for permission, which you didn't hesitate in granting. Your tongues brushed together, as the sound of your lips re-connecting filled the room. With every few seconds spent apart, the both of you were giggling into each other's mouths.

Billie pulled away briefly, lips swollen, resting her forehead against yours.