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@politepanic
oh I love them

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Rules for Eddie
Only kiss and touch when Jason or someone Jason-adjacent is around (i.e. his basketball teammates). It ends as soon as no one can see us. No lingering!
You can't date anyone else while we're fake dating. If you do, she can't be from Hawkins and you need to take your extracurriculars elsewhere. If someone spots you with anyone other than me, the secret's out.
We have to plan at least one overnight out of town trip. Even if it's just to stay at a motel a town over. No one believes anything is serious until you stay the night with them.
Snow Ball is coming up. Congratulations, you have a date. And yes, you have to wear a tie. I will not be debating this.
If Jason gets upset enough to put his hands on either of us, only hit to defend. I don't want you going to jail over my stupid plan.
Chrissy watched as Eddie read over her rules, eagerly awaiting his response as she lightly chewed on her lower lip. "Well? What do you think? Should there be anything added?"
@hellmunsonfire
Girlfriend. Eddie calling her his girlfriend was the first thing to shake Chrissy's confident exterior. Then came Eddie naming off reasons her reputation would be ruined as soon as she associated publicly with him. It was convenient that at this present moment, her reputation was the least of her worries. Because somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that her closest friends couldn't possibly understand who she actually was. Chrissy rarely let down her guarded mask and expertly structured walls. She learned from a young age that you didn't give anyone anything to look at. As long as you were good, you were invisible. And invisible kept you safe. Only now, devising this plan with Eddie... she wasn't sure safe was right. Jason certainly didn't play it safe, and he lost nothing when they broke up. And it wasn't fair. And he deserved to pay. That made this unexpected brainstorming session fulfilling and honestly, a bit thrilling.
Chrissy's grin fell to a worried frown when Eddie mentioned a bike, bowed, and began walking away from her. Chrissy stood there in silence for a few seconds, letting his words register. "A bike...wait, Eddie! Do you mean... you don't mean that motorcycle, do you? Oh come on, you probably don't even have two helmets! Definitely not one that fits me, anyway. Sounds unsafe to me, but thanks! Eddie? EDDIE?" she called after him, voice reaching a higher pitch out of nervousness, but he'd already passed through the auditorium doors and out of sight.
"What have I gotten myself into?" she hissed under her breath, reaching up to press her hand against her cheek. It burned hot with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "Munson's girl," she repeated to herself, stomach flipping as she thought back to how his voice sounded when he'd spoken those words. Shaking the thoughts away, she grabbed her backpack and walked to meet her mother in the parking lot. Getting into the car with her felt like walking into a detective's interview room. Thankfully, her mother was too self-absorbed in her own problems to notice anything was off with Chrissy.
The next morning, Chrissy was nearly through curling her hair when she remembered Eddie's comment about wearing a skirt. "Cheese and rice!" she exclaimed to herself, running over to the closet as she replanned her wardrobe for the day. Settling on some black jeans and baby pink shirt, she pairs this with her white princess Reeboks and a white cardigan in case she gets cold. She would've preferred her white slacks, but couldn't guarantee they would stay white after being on the back of Eddie's bike. She shuddered as she ran the light pink gloss across her lips. Chrissy had a perfectly logical fear of motorcycles. During a family vacation when she was seven, she saw one wrap around a telephone pole and send the driver several feet into the air. He had been drunk, a fact turned lesson her parents made sure to instill into her head during that traumatic event. Ever since then, she didn't want to be anywhere near them. And now, to make an ex-boyfriend jealous, she was about to ride on the back of one with Eddie Munson at the wheel. Er, handles. What could go wrong?
It wasn't until he pulled up to the curb that Chrissy's emotions finally caught up with her body. Her eyes met his, but she seemed to look past him and straight into her worries. "I--I can't do this, Eddie. I can't. I'm gonna fall off. The helmet's gonna be too big so when I fall off I'll get a traumatic brain injury and then I'll be a vegetable for the rest of my life. I can't get a cheerleading scholarship if I'm paralyzed. This was a stupid idea. I'm sorry. I'll just walk to school and we can figure out a work around," she said to him with rapid-fire pace, her eyes beginning to well with tears. More than anything, it was from embarrassment. Embarrassment that her emotions were so strong, that she was being such a baby about this. She clasped her hands together, ringing them as she began to pace back and forth in front of Eddie, who remained mounted on the bike. "This is so stupid, I know... it's so stupid..." she said again, head drooping in humiliation as her eyes cautiously rose to meet his. "I can't do it. There's no car doors, there's literally nothing protecting me from sliding across the road and becoming ground beef!"
Eddie watches her downward spiral with a mixture of amusement and genuine confusion, his brows shooting up toward his hairline as she rants about traumatic brain injuries and "ground beef." He lets out a dry, huffed laugh and rolls his eyes, finally kicking the kickstand down. He dismounts the bike in one fluid, practiced motion, pulling his helmet off to reveal his wild curls before setting it firmly on the leather seat.
He steps into her space, closing the gap until he can reach out and grip her upper arms with his large, ring-clad hands, grounding her. "Whoa, whoa! Easy there, Cunningham. Take a breath before you pass out right here on the pavement," he says, his voice a low, steadying hum. "You’ve got me. That’s what’s protecting you. You’re gonna wrap those arms of yours around me so tight you’ll practically be part of my jacket. Nothing’s gonna happen, I promise."
He tilts his head, a challenging, sassy glint returning to his dark eyes. "But hey, if you want to walk, be my guest. I just thought you actually wanted to make Jason’s head explode. You were the one giving me all those rules yesterday, acting like a little mastermind. Are you really gonna fold before the opening credits even finish rolling?" He grabs the spare helmet, patting the top of it with a series of hollow thuds. "See? Solid as a rock. And you’re looking at a pro, sweetheart. My reputation precedes me—I’m a god on this machine."
As he’s busy revving her up, two girls from the Hawkins High cheer squad—girls Chrissy probably calls 'friends'—pass by on the sidewalk. They freeze in their tracks, their eyes widening in pure, unadulterated horror. From their perspective, the school's most dangerous freak has the golden girl cornered, his hands on her arms while she looks like she's about to cry. They look ready to sprint for help or a priest, clearly convinced they're witnessing a kidnapping in progress.
Eddie notices them out of the corner of his eye and his smirk only widens, becoming something sharper, more predatory. He doesn't pull away; instead, he leans a fraction closer to Chrissy, making sure the audience gets a real good look at the 'freak' and the 'princess' together.
Chrissy's eyes widened as Stacy and Beverly noticed her. Cheese and rice. They were barely into Phase I of their plan and already it seemed to be falling apart. Or was it? Beverly in particular was a predictable motor mouth. No doubt word of Chrissy's alternate transportation would get around school faster than coach Finnegan's megaphone. She felt her breath hitch in her throat as Eddie moved closer. Her pulse quickened as he bridged the gap between them. "Well... might as well dive in head first at this point," she muttered to herself, eyes lifting from the ground to connect with his. "Just know that I plan to live a very long life and one day die in my bed as a blue-haired old lady. And I can't very well do that if I'm a grease spot on the road. I'm precious cargo," she asserted with an affirmative nod.
Grabbing the helmet from Eddie's hand, Chrissy's robin blue eyes shifted over to the girls, a bold stare holding their gaze as she reached back and pulled the hair tie out of her ponytail. Blonde curls whipped waterfalls against her shoulders as she lifted the helmet over her head and slid it downward. Waving to them gleefully, she cautiously joined Eddie on the back of his bike. "Is this why you're so cocky? Because you have a motorcycle?" she questioned, her smirk hidden beneath strands of hair blowing against her face. Truthfully? She understood it. There was something about sitting on a motorcycle, feeling the humming throttle between her legs, that made her want to act up, too.
Timidly at first, Chrissy reached around Eddie’s waist, following his instructions with careful hesitation. She tried to mold herself to him, as close as a second skin, though her stomach fluttered wildly with nervous anticipation. Her hands locked in place, grip tightening until she was certain her fingers would go numb before they ever reached the school. She pressed her cheek against his back, the solid warmth of him grounding and overwhelming all at once, and squeezed her eyes shut so tightly she nearly saw stars. “Okay, I’m re—”
The sentence never had a chance to finish. Eddie peeled away from the curb, the sudden movement yanking a startled squeal from her throat as her stomach flipped end over end. Instinct screamed at her to react, to swat his arm, to scold him for the warning she hadn’t been given—but fear took precedence. She clung to him instead, breathless and laughing despite herself, too terrified of letting go to do anything else.
The parking lot was still bustling with students trickling in when they pulled up to the high school. Chrissy removed the helmet from her head, shaking her hair free once again, wondering how disheveled she must look. A far cry from her usual buttoned-up presentation. Breathlessly, she grinned at Eddie as she handed him the helmet. "Yep. That's definitely why you're cocky. If I knew how to drive something like that, I think I'd have a god complex too," she admitted, fiercely blushing as a wave of shame settled over her. "Pride comes before the fall," she heard her mother say into her ear, a fanatical mirage crashing her back into reality. "That was actually really fun," she admitted, the adrenaline pumping through her beginning to settle into a wave of contentment. Chrissy waited as Eddie gathered his things, her hand falling loosely at her side in case Eddie was truly serious about the authenticity of their arrangement. Although she certainly wasn't going to be the one to reach for his hand first. Her palm carried a slight tingle of anticipation across it as she shifted on her feet.
Rules for Eddie
Only kiss and touch when Jason or someone Jason-adjacent is around (i.e. his basketball teammates). It ends as soon as no one can see us. No lingering!
You can't date anyone else while we're fake dating. If you do, she can't be from Hawkins and you need to take your extracurriculars elsewhere. If someone spots you with anyone other than me, the secret's out.
We have to plan at least one overnight out of town trip. Even if it's just to stay at a motel a town over. No one believes anything is serious until you stay the night with them.
Snow Ball is coming up. Congratulations, you have a date. And yes, you have to wear a tie. I will not be debating this.
If Jason gets upset enough to put his hands on either of us, only hit to defend. I don't want you going to jail over my stupid plan.
Chrissy watched as Eddie read over her rules, eagerly awaiting his response as she lightly chewed on her lower lip. "Well? What do you think? Should there be anything added?"
@hellmunsonfire
Girlfriend. Eddie calling her his girlfriend was the first thing to shake Chrissy's confident exterior. Then came Eddie naming off reasons her reputation would be ruined as soon as she associated publicly with him. It was convenient that at this present moment, her reputation was the least of her worries. Because somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that her closest friends couldn't possibly understand who she actually was. Chrissy rarely let down her guarded mask and expertly structured walls. She learned from a young age that you didn't give anyone anything to look at. As long as you were good, you were invisible. And invisible kept you safe. Only now, devising this plan with Eddie... she wasn't sure safe was right. Jason certainly didn't play it safe, and he lost nothing when they broke up. And it wasn't fair. And he deserved to pay. That made this unexpected brainstorming session fulfilling and honestly, a bit thrilling.
Chrissy's grin fell to a worried frown when Eddie mentioned a bike, bowed, and began walking away from her. Chrissy stood there in silence for a few seconds, letting his words register. "A bike...wait, Eddie! Do you mean... you don't mean that motorcycle, do you? Oh come on, you probably don't even have two helmets! Definitely not one that fits me, anyway. Sounds unsafe to me, but thanks! Eddie? EDDIE?" she called after him, voice reaching a higher pitch out of nervousness, but he'd already passed through the auditorium doors and out of sight.
"What have I gotten myself into?" she hissed under her breath, reaching up to press her hand against her cheek. It burned hot with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "Munson's girl," she repeated to herself, stomach flipping as she thought back to how his voice sounded when he'd spoken those words. Shaking the thoughts away, she grabbed her backpack and walked to meet her mother in the parking lot. Getting into the car with her felt like walking into a detective's interview room. Thankfully, her mother was too self-absorbed in her own problems to notice anything was off with Chrissy.
The next morning, Chrissy was nearly through curling her hair when she remembered Eddie's comment about wearing a skirt. "Cheese and rice!" she exclaimed to herself, running over to the closet as she replanned her wardrobe for the day. Settling on some black jeans and baby pink shirt, she pairs this with her white princess Reeboks and a white cardigan in case she gets cold. She would've preferred her white slacks, but couldn't guarantee they would stay white after being on the back of Eddie's bike. She shuddered as she ran the light pink gloss across her lips. Chrissy had a perfectly logical fear of motorcycles. During a family vacation when she was seven, she saw one wrap around a telephone pole and send the driver several feet into the air. He had been drunk, a fact turned lesson her parents made sure to instill into her head during that traumatic event. Ever since then, she didn't want to be anywhere near them. And now, to make an ex-boyfriend jealous, she was about to ride on the back of one with Eddie Munson at the wheel. Er, handles. What could go wrong?
It wasn't until he pulled up to the curb that Chrissy's emotions finally caught up with her body. Her eyes met his, but she seemed to look past him and straight into her worries. "I--I can't do this, Eddie. I can't. I'm gonna fall off. The helmet's gonna be too big so when I fall off I'll get a traumatic brain injury and then I'll be a vegetable for the rest of my life. I can't get a cheerleading scholarship if I'm paralyzed. This was a stupid idea. I'm sorry. I'll just walk to school and we can figure out a work around," she said to him with rapid-fire pace, her eyes beginning to well with tears. More than anything, it was from embarrassment. Embarrassment that her emotions were so strong, that she was being such a baby about this. She clasped her hands together, ringing them as she began to pace back and forth in front of Eddie, who remained mounted on the bike. "This is so stupid, I know... it's so stupid..." she said again, head drooping in humiliation as her eyes cautiously rose to meet his. "I can't do it. There's no car doors, there's literally nothing protecting me from sliding across the road and becoming ground beef!"
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Eddie snorted, the sound sharp and unapologetic. “Oh, trust me,” he said lightly, eyes glinting, “the Stacy lore is not exactly classified information.” He tipped his head. “Heard it all. Seen some of it. Hell—” he paused deliberately, smirk sharpening, “I may or may not have contributed to her extracurricular résumé once.” He shrugged like he was discussing the weather. “But here’s the thing, you don’t get to pin the gold medal for being garbage on her when your golden boy is the one with a girlfriend. Jason’s the one who signed up for monogamy and immediately lit it on fire. That’s not Stacy being reckless. That’s Jason being a professional-grade screw-up.”
He caught the shift immediately when her eyes flicked to the guitar, and his smirk sharpened like he’d been waiting for it. “Ah. The classic conversational dodge,” Eddie said, wagging his head. “Ten out of ten execution, but no, sweetheart, we’re not done dissecting Captain Varsity yet.” He scoffed softly, shaking his curls out of his face. “I mean, come on. That guy has the emotional depth of a puddle in a parking lot. And you?” He gestured vaguely at her, eyebrows raised. “You could do so much better.” He paused, then added, almost cheerfully, “And for the record, if I get another clean shot at him I won’t aim for principle next time.”
Eddie finally shrugged, fingers brushing the guitar strings with a lazy strum. “Band’s fine,” he said offhandedly. “Still loud. Still illegal in at least three moral systems.” His eyes flicked back to her, amused and unrepentant. “But seriously, Chrissy—don’t act like you’re not pissed. You’re allowed to be mad. Hell, I’ll be mad for you. Jason Carver deserves every ounce of misery he gets, and then some. Dating him is like volunteering to get burned and being surprised when the fire shows up.” He tilted his head, grin returning, unapologetic. “So yeah. I’m judging. Hard.”
"Oh that's just gross, I could say the same thing about you! You can do much better than snot sleeves," she huffed with a little too much aggravation for the situation as it related to Eddie. She had zero feelings concerning Eddie's bedroom antics or roster. And if she did, she'd simply ignore them. Because to care at all about what he did in his spare time with girls was stupid. And Chrissy was not stupid.
Her brow furrowed as she listened to Eddie make far too many valid points. "Okay, I'm not trying to make her the only villain, okay? I'm simply saying she knew we were together. Hard to miss with how long we've been together." Chrissy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling nauseated for a moment before continuing. "But yes, you're right. Jason is the evil one here. And I knew it... anyone who is that much of an asshole to so many people isn't capable of being a good boyfriend for long. And I am upset. I just wish I wasn't so angry. I feel like I'm so mad I could just explode. I never get like this! I just want to make him hurt like I do. Does that make sense? I can't just.. let it go. Not yet. Not until he feels what he's done," she admitted, jaw tightening as she thought of the last two years she'd wasted wrapped up in a lie. "Don't aim for principle. Aim for his crotch. Preferably hard enough that he can't procreate and continue the cycle." She offered an affirmative nod, dropping her head to giggle for a moment. What was happening? She never talked like this.
Chrissy wasn't a vengeful person. Her life was a constant exercise in surrendering control, her mother surveilling and severing any habits or people from Chrissy's life that she didn't deem beneficial to her "growth and walk with God." It made sense she clung to Jason, the first boy that achieved the approval of her parents. It was a small sliver of freedom, having Jason as a boyfriend. Since her parents trusted him more than they trusted her, she was finally able to go to a few high school parties. It wasn't lost on her that Jason's impeccable ability to lie with a smile is why she was in her current situation; a mess of emotions verbally vomiting on stage to a rumored cult leader. Not that she believed that for a moment. But it was certainly quite the contrast from her normal day to day life.
"Judge away. It's complicated. My parents liked Jason, and they don't like anyone. They shelter me because they're afraid of me going down a bad path. Dating Jason meant I had a little more freedom without having to explain every single move I made. Turns out I was just trading one cage for another," she concluded, a dry laugh punctuating her last sentence.
"Well bigshot, play me something. Let's see if this rock star routine is just to bed as many girls as possible," she teased with a quirk of her eyebrow. Chrissy.... what's gotten into you?
Eddie let out a low, drawn-out whistle, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his messy mane of hair. He leaned back against the stage equipment, a wide, crooked grin spreading across his face. He wasn’t just surprised; he was absolutely electrified. Seeing "The Queen of Hawkins High" drop the pom-poms and start calling for blood was easily the highlight of his year.
"Woah, woah! Easy there, Cunningham! I didn't know there was a tiny, vengeful Viking hiding under all that pastel," he chuckled, pointing a dramatic finger at her. "The cycle of procreation? Brutal. I love it. Truly. If you keep this up, I might actually have to give you a vest and draft you into the Hellfire Club."
He hopped off the equipment, pacing the small space with a sudden burst of restless energy. "Now, if you really want to watch Carver squirm—and believe me, I would pay good money for that front-row seat—we have options. We could go full medieval. I’ve got some stage blood, we could stage a curse? Or maybe I just 'accidentally' drop an amplifier on his precious Jeep?" He waved a hand dismissively, his eyes glinting with mischief.
"But... if you want the surgical strike, the one that actually rots his ego from the inside out? You have to fight fire with fire. Or in this case, prestige with... well, let's call it 'social chaos'." He stopped in front of her, tilting his head with a smirk. "The guy thinks he owns the throne, right? He thinks he’s the only one worthy of your 'light'. So, the best way to make him feel the burn isn't just leaving him—it's making him realize exactly what he lost by seeing you belong to someone else. Someone who represents everything he hates. You make him think you’ve moved on to a different world entirely. One where he’s not even an afterthought."
He plucked a string on his guitar, a sharp, dissonant note ringing through the air. "I'm no relationship guru, Princess, but nothing stings a guy like Carver more than seeing his 'perfect' girl find something much more interesting in the shadows."
Chrissy's cheeks darkened to a deeper shade of pink as Eddie doled out such smooth-tongued compliments. She'd always admired that about him. The confidence to speak his mind. The way he truly didn't care what people thought of him. Even to a fault, and yet somehow...it still worked. Him being handsome certainly helped.
"I have no clue what Hellfire Club is other than it revolves around a game that has dungeons and dragons, right? I'm intrigued though," she countered, genuine in this confession. Sure, participating in his club of misfits would send her to a certain social death, but honestly? What did any of it matter anymore? It was humiliating thinking about returning to her friend group the next day, knowing by now everyone knew what Jason had done to her. Then there was the anticipatory divide: who would stay her friend, and who would remain faithful to Jason? She had a feeling Jason's flock far outnumbered hers.
Chrissy's blue eyes glimmered with amusement, studying Eddie as he paced the stage. It made sense he moved effortlessly on stage, because he was simply fascinating to watch. Most people kept themselves mild and composed, but Eddie? His every emotion danced across his face and actions in news bulletin fashion. Which she appreciated. Too many people in Chrissy's life smiled in her face, biding time for her to turn her back so they could plunge a knife into it, Michael Myers style.
"Jason would lose his entire mind if you pretended to put a curse on him. But I also think he'd get psychotically angry which I'm not exactly eager to trigger. I'm also not in a hurry to start a criminal record, but good suggestions." Chrissy's shoulders shook as she laughed at Eddie's words.
Except the next suggestion almost made Chrissy take back most of the complimentary things she'd thought about Eddie in the last few minutes. Scrunching her nose in disgust, she shook her head with an emphatic "NO way! The last thing I need is to get myself into another dating situation. I'm taking a break, indefinitely. It's just not worth it to me anymore. Plus it'll give me more time to dance and figure out a life outside of Jason and our... his friend group." Her face fell as she thought ahead to how awkward things would be at Hawkins until she learned her new normal. "I wish I could, I do. Because I think that would be the quickest way to drive him into hulk mode. You know him pretty well despite the fact that you've been enemies since the fifth grade," she teased, standing up to join him. She crossed her arms, glancing over at Eddie. "I just don't have it in me. When I think about being with anyone else, it almost makes me physically ill. As stupid as it is, I really did care for him. Plus, I haven't exactly seen anyone lining up to take his place if you know what I mean. It's pretty common knowledge around school how strict my parents are," she admitted sheepishly.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. I'll run away," she sighed, barely stamping her feet up and down in tiny tantrum fashion as her fists clamped by her sides. "Ughhh!!"
Eddie let out a low, mischievous chuckle, watching Chrissy’s mini-tantrum with a look of pure, unadulterated entertainment. He moved toward his guitar, carefully sliding it into its case and zipping it up with a sharp rrip. He slung the strap over his shoulder, grabbed his worn leather jacket from the floor, and shrugged into it with the practiced ease of a man who lived in it.
"First of all, Princess, Hellfire isn't just some board game club for kids in capes—though the capes are a nice touch, I’ll admit. It’s a brotherhood. A sanctuary. Some people around here call us a 'freak cult,' and honestly? I don't do much to discourage the rumors. Keeps the boring people away," he said with a cocky wink, his grin widening as he began to slowly circle her, his boots thumping rhythmically on the stage floor.
"Second... listen closely, because I’m about to drop some wisdom. I never said you should actually start a new relationship. Perish the thought! I’m saying you need Jason to think you have. Think of it as... a boyfriend-for-hire? A mercenary of romance. You write the rules, you set the boundaries, and he only exists when Carver’s fragile ego needs a good bruising."
He stopped behind her for a second, then reappeared on her other side, his hands moving animatedly as if he were laying out a master plan. "But it can't just be any random schmuck from the AV club. Sure, Jason hates everyone who isn't wearing a varsity jacket, but you need someone special. You need an antagonist. Someone he truly, deeply loves to hate. Someone who isn't afraid of him or his little squad of golden boys. Someone who hates him just as much as he hates... well, himself, probably."
Eddie stopped right in front of her, his head tilted back, a wickedly smug "bastard grin" plastered across his face. He hooked his thumbs into his waistband and then pointed them both toward his own chest.
"I’ve always been a fan of a good challenge, Cunningham. And from what I’ve gathered, your parents are... how do I put this delicately? Very dedicated to the Big Guy Upstairs. I’m sure the idea of their precious daughter hanging out with a metalhead who wears 'devil shirts' would send them into a holy frenzy. But see, that’s where the fun is. Tell me I 'can't' do something, and you’ll see exactly how far I’m willing to go."
He stepped a bit closer, his eyes dancing with chaotic light. "If your life is a tower and your parents are the dragons, think of me as Shrek. I’ll break into the castle, rescue the princess, and I would be more than happy to land a solid right hook on that 'Prince Charming's' perfectly chiseled jaw. So, what do you say? Ready to trade the cage for a little bit of beautiful, noisy chaos?"
Chrissy listened to Eddie's explanation of Hellfire, still no closer to understanding it than she had been minutes prior. She'd have to ask for details later, though she wasn't sure if her brain could grasp what all it entailed. The only thing that was abundantly clear to her was how passionate he remained about it despite the grief from other classmates. And she understood. Though cheerleading could be annoying and challenging at times, it also felt like what Eddie described as a "sanctuary." And it was equally misunderstood, with many people thinking it was pointless and juvenile despite the athletic fortitude and passion it required. "You're just squealing for the basketball team and making sure your hair stays in place," her brother once summarized during a fight.
The faint hint of dizziness began enveloping Chrissy as Eddie moved around her, describing the beginnings of a...pretty brilliant plan. One that would require quite a bit of sneaking around where her parents were concerned if she didn't want to end up with bars on her windows and no way of escape. Did Eddie's energy exude a type of frantic mania that Chrissy wasn't sure whether she could trust yet? Perhaps. Then again, the people she usually hung out with mostly resembled lobotomy patients. She could admit that. But Eddie's past did precede him. Even if at this point, she wasn't sure which were rumors and which were rooted in reality. However, what he was suggesting didn't seem too far-fetched. Of course Eddie would want to devise any plan he could to torment Jason. Jason had his sights set on ruining Eddie's day since they were kids. But pretending to... be with Chrissy? Would he really stay committed to the part?
She shook her head, doubtful of their ability to execute the plan. "You know... if we truly were to do this, you'd have to be very convincing. Jason's not smart, but he's also not stupid. If for one second he thinks this is some theatrical set up to get him angry, not only will it ruin the plan, but... you may not be the only one on the receiving end of his anger," she admitted, involuntarily shuddering. "Back when I thought he was someone I could trust, I told him some things about me that I would never want my parents to know. And that's probably the first thing he'll do if given the chance -- give away all my secrets so I'm grounded indefinitely and most likely sent to one of those Christian wilderness camps," she admitted, pushing a breath through her lips that fluttered her bangs. "He may tell them anyway just to be a jerk, but I don't want to poke the bear." Chrissy crossed her arms as an anchor to ground herself. "I'm tired of my parents controlling my every move and choosing what I get to do and who I get to be with. I'm seventeen. I'm nearly an adult and they still treat me like I've six! So yes, I would love to finally stand up to them by making my own decisions and not care about what they think. But Eddie... do you really think we can convince people we're actually dating?" Chrissy asked, the scoff within her laughter not lost. "I mean, I know I'm not your type. Do you think you can pretend well enough? I'm pretty sure you hate all my friends. Won't this be torture for you?" she asked, the last words falling quieter as she was suddenly hyperaware of the way Eddie's eyes pulled her in like a chaotic magnet. she continued to ramble, her words spilling quickly due to how exposed she felt under Eddie's gaze. "You're terrible at following rules so I doubt me making them is going to help us any. Plus, who's going to believe we're dating in the first place? I mean, it's not realistic is it?" she asked, though her tone shifted as if she began to doubt her statement about midway through the sentence.
Eddie held up both hands in mock surrender as the questions came rapid-fire, a slow grin stretching across his face until it showed every single tooth. He knew. That was the best part. He rocked back on his heels, then jumped cleanly down from the stage, boots thudding as he headed toward the seats. “Hey, hey—one at a time,” he said easily, voice warm with amusement. “Let’s address the greatest hits.” He gestured vaguely with one hand. “Convincing? Absolutely. I can be terrifyingly convincing. I mean—” his grin tipped smug, but playful, “—you’re smart, you’re gorgeous, and pretending to be into you does not exactly sound like hard labor.” He scoffed lightly. “Also, small but crucial detail? I’m in drama class. I play characters for fun. Hellfire’s just long-form improv with dice. Lying convincingly is basically a transferable skill at this point.”
He shrugged out of the grin just enough to let something sharper through. “And Jason?” Eddie’s jaw set, eyes darkening for half a second. “Jason Carver doesn’t get to touch you. Ever. If he figures it out, if he even thinks about running his mouth—then that just means I solve the problem. Permanently.” His tone stayed casual, but the promise underneath it wasn’t. “I don’t care if I have to knock every sanctimonious tooth out of his skull to keep him quiet.” The grin crept back in. “As for your parents—yeah. Big fans of the fire-and-brimstone greatest hits, huh? I can already picture it. Satanic metalhead corrupts America’s sweetheart. Front-page scandal. Honestly, I’d frame the article.”
He set the guitar case down by the door and headed back toward the stage, tossing the hair at the nape of his neck back over his shoulder as he climbed up. He stopped just behind her, close enough to feel her warmth, and leaned in—just enough. His breath brushed her neck as his voice dropped to a murmur. “So here’s the only question that actually matters, Chrissy.” A beat. “Can you play the game?” His smile was all challenge now. “How far are you willing to take it to make it real? When I have to sell it. When I have to touch you. Kiss you. Make everyone believe it.” His voice dipped lower, almost teasing, almost dangerous. “Because if we do this, we do it right. And I don’t back out halfway. Do you?”
Chrissy couldn't fight the heat that rose into her cheeks once again; a biological response Eddie coaxed with a mere handful of flattering words. It was incredibly difficult wrapping her brain around how he seemed to... truly see her. His eyes were an exploration in understanding. They didn't graze over her as if she were just another cheerleader in the hallway. Those eyes made Chrissy feel that she was something other than arm candy for the first time since she'd started dating Jason. "When you live among squalor, Chrissy, pearls from swine seem like diamonds from princes..." her mother's words echoed in her brain, taunting her like a judgmental angel sitting on her shoulder. What Mrs. Cunningham failed to explain was how good it would feel to receive those pearls when you grew up in a cold household void of consistent encouragement. While these emotions ran beneath the surface, Chrissy still managed to offer Eddie a sheepish smile. "Okay, okay Rob Lowe, point taken," she giggled with a playful wave of her hand.
Chrissy’s breath caught in her throat as Eddie’s voice shifted. What had once been playful now edged into something sharp and merciless. She wanted to explain it away, to convince herself that he couldn’t truly mean what he was implying about Jason. But deep down, she knew better. Eddie wasn’t joking. He was deadly serious. The realization sent a shiver through her, equal parts fear and thrill. Beneath his venom toward Jason was something else...something unmistakable. Protection. For her. The understanding made a nervous flutter spark to life in her stomach. No one had ever spoken like that for her before, had ever admitted such fierce, unapologetic need to protect her. And that knowledge lingered, unsettling and intoxicating all at once.
Chrissy forced a laugh when Eddie referenced her parents. Not that his assessment wasn't accurate. It was a little too accurate, dramatic description and all. Which reminded her of how much she honestly feared them both. But she was tired of living in fear. Why should Jason get to have all his screw ups with minimal consequences, while she walked a tightrope of impossible standards? It was sexist, and she was sick of having to perform better and appear purer just because she happened to be born a girl.
She felt her entire body stand at attention as Eddie spoke behind her, unable to turn and face him before warm, steady breath of his words sent shivers across the side of her neck. These goosebumps ignited a fiery explosion; starting at the top of her head, and shooting through her curled toes. Every nerve in her body lost its protective barrier as they felt the slow caress of Eddie's voice.
Chrissy nearly protested when Eddie casually implied that kissing would be part of the arrangement. The words lodged in her chest, sending a brisk spike of panic through her body. That hadn’t been part of her plan. It actually hadn’t even crossed her mind.
The truth was, she barely had any experience to draw from. She’d only kissed one other boy besides Jason, and that hardly counted. His name was Sean. She’d been thirteen, awkward and sunburned from church camp, clinging to the fleeting intensity of a summer that felt far more important than it really was. They’d shared a kiss before he returned to Texas. A soft, uncertain thing meant to seal the season shut. Three written letters followed. Then silence.
Remembering it now, Chrissy wasn’t even sure it qualified as real experience. Still, as much as the idea made her nerves twist, Eddie wasn’t wrong. If they wanted this to be convincing, if she wanted Jason to believe it...then a kiss, undeniable and public, would sell it better than anything else ever could. But he'd also said touch. What did he mean by that? Was he talking a hand on her back, or something more?
Chrissy shook her anxious thoughts free, knowing that she was fully dialed into this arrangement no matter her internal hesitation and panic. She turned around to face Eddie, the tip of her ponytail flicking across his nose. Eyes meeting his with newfound fierceness, she replied "Yeah, I can play the game. Kissing included. Touching? Well, you said I could write out the rules and set the boundaries, so let’s hope you care more about following mine than anyone else’s. Just don't fall in love with me, because I can't be responsible for breaking your heart when this is a strictly fake relationship," she explained, smirk curling the side of her mouth as she fought against a wide grin. Being in such proximity to Eddie made her feel dizzy all over again. Still, Eddie wasn't the only one with drama club experience. She held her ground, eyes dancing with playful banter. Reaching out her small hand, she held it still for a handshake. "'Til he cries or begs for forgiveness," she offered to seal their arrangement, grinning like an innocent, ethereal fae that wasn't currently coordinating the demise of her ex-boyfriend with her ex-boyfriend's mortal enemy as a copilot to the scheme.
Eddie broke into a wide, unapologetic grin the moment she turned to face him, the thought flashing through his head that she was ridiculously short up close—like, pocket-sized royalty. Amused, he dipped into an exaggerated, knightly bow, the kind that belonged on a stage rather than a high school auditorium. He took her hand with deliberate ceremony and brushed a kiss over it. “At your service, Princess,” he said grandly, then straightened with a playful flourish. “And for the record—falling in love with you isn’t even on the table, so relax. Not because you’re unlovable,” he added quickly, smirking, “I’m sure you absolutely are. I just don’t buy into the whole love thing. Personal philosophy. Long story. Lots of bad songs.”
His grin sharpened as his mind flicked inevitably back to Jason. “And not ‘until he cries or begs,’” Eddie corrected lightly. “No, no. Until he’s completely wrecked.” The thought pleased him far more than it probably should have, and he didn’t bother hiding it.
He hopped back down from the stage, grabbed his guitar where it leaned by the door, and slung it over his shoulder. Pausing just long enough to throw a wink her way, he said, “Tomorrow morning. School entrance. Let ’em think we came together.” He gave one last, overly dramatic knight’s salute. “See you then, Princess,” Eddie added, and exited with the satisfaction of someone who knew chaos was officially scheduled.
Rules for Eddie
Only kiss and touch when Jason or someone Jason-adjacent is around (i.e. his basketball teammates). It ends as soon as no one can see us. No lingering!
You can't date anyone else while we're fake dating. If you do, she can't be from Hawkins and you need to take your extracurriculars elsewhere. If someone spots you with anyone other than me, the secret's out.
We have to plan at least one overnight out of town trip. Even if it's just to stay at a motel a town over. No one believes anything is serious until you stay the night with them.
Snow Ball is coming up. Congratulations, you have a date. And yes, you have to wear a tie. I will not be debating this.
If Jason gets upset enough to put his hands on either of us, only hit to defend. I don't want you going to jail over my stupid plan.
Chrissy watched as Eddie read over her rules, eagerly awaiting his response as she lightly chewed on her lower lip. "Well? What do you think? Should there be anything added?"
@hellmunsonfire
1. First of all, sweetheart, I’m not a pig. I don’t touch or kiss anyone without a clear green light. Ever. You give the signal, we’re good. You don’t, I keep my hands to myself. Simple. Think of it like a safe word situation. …No, wait—probably you have no idea what that is. We’ll workshop it.
2. Okay, you say, I'll do it.
3. Technically, we don’t need to leave town for that to work. But if you’re dead set on it, sure. Although—hot take—Forest Hills Trailer Park does the job better. You come by when my uncle’s on the night shift and spend the night in my so-called ‘castle’? Trust me, the gossip there spreads faster than a plague. Those people live to snitch. I once had half the park convinced I was engaged because someone saw a girl leave my trailer at sunrise. Took weeks to kill that rumor.
4. “Snow Ball?” …You’re kidding. Those dances are terrible. The music’s watered down, the punch is just sad fruit juice pretending to be fun, and I never go to those things.But what can I say? Princess rules. Your game, your terms. I’ll wear the tie. But I’m complaining the entire time.
5. Yeah, no. That’s the one rule I’m not promising to follow. If Jason crosses a line, don’t expect me to sit quietly and take notes. And don’t worry—I won’t be going to jail because of you. I would’ve knocked that idiot on his ass sooner or later anyway. You’re just… giving me an excellent excuse.
"Eddie, I want people to gossip, not give my parents a spotlight to where I'll be so they can come and murder the both of us. I'm only half joking about that, by the way.
We'll discuss me coming to your place eventually, but I don't want anyone to think I'm too easy. I have a reputation to uphold, after all.
Wow, getting you to go to the Snow Ball was easier than I thought! I prepared a whole speech to persuade you. Don't worry, I'll make you your very own fresh-squeezed juice so you don't even have to sample the punch. And you can play whatever music you want to and from the dance." She laughs with a playful shake of her head, finding Eddie funnier with every interaction they shared. "I will shoulder every complaint with ease, I promise."
Chrissy's brow furrowed worriedly at Eddie's refusal to abide by one of the rules Chrissy was most serious about. "Well, we just won't put ourselves in situations where that can happen, will we? Only appear together in places when Jason can't attack. I do know he can't get in trouble at school or he'll be suspended from the team. His dad made that arrangement with the coach to keep him in line. So I guess we'll have to start there."
Chrissy sent an affirmative nod toward Eddie, mouth curling into a bewildered grin as she studied him. "I think you're just crazy enough and I'm just convincing enough to pull this off. Do you want to pick me up for school tomorrow? I'll have to walk a couple of blocks from my house but that isn't a problem."

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Rules for Eddie
Only kiss and touch when Jason or someone Jason-adjacent is around (i.e. his basketball teammates). It ends as soon as no one can see us. No lingering!
You can't date anyone else while we're fake dating. If you do, she can't be from Hawkins and you need to take your extracurriculars elsewhere. If someone spots you with anyone other than me, the secret's out.
We have to plan at least one overnight out of town trip. Even if it's just to stay at a motel a town over. No one believes anything is serious until you stay the night with them.
Snow Ball is coming up. Congratulations, you have a date. And yes, you have to wear a tie. I will not be debating this.
If Jason gets upset enough to put his hands on either of us, only hit to defend. I don't want you going to jail over my stupid plan.
Chrissy watched as Eddie read over her rules, eagerly awaiting his response as she lightly chewed on her lower lip. "Well? What do you think? Should there be anything added?"
@hellmunsonfire
Dirty Dancing (1987)
x
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Eddie snorted, the sound sharp and unapologetic. “Oh, trust me,” he said lightly, eyes glinting, “the Stacy lore is not exactly classified information.” He tipped his head. “Heard it all. Seen some of it. Hell—” he paused deliberately, smirk sharpening, “I may or may not have contributed to her extracurricular résumé once.” He shrugged like he was discussing the weather. “But here’s the thing, you don’t get to pin the gold medal for being garbage on her when your golden boy is the one with a girlfriend. Jason’s the one who signed up for monogamy and immediately lit it on fire. That’s not Stacy being reckless. That’s Jason being a professional-grade screw-up.”
He caught the shift immediately when her eyes flicked to the guitar, and his smirk sharpened like he’d been waiting for it. “Ah. The classic conversational dodge,” Eddie said, wagging his head. “Ten out of ten execution, but no, sweetheart, we’re not done dissecting Captain Varsity yet.” He scoffed softly, shaking his curls out of his face. “I mean, come on. That guy has the emotional depth of a puddle in a parking lot. And you?” He gestured vaguely at her, eyebrows raised. “You could do so much better.” He paused, then added, almost cheerfully, “And for the record, if I get another clean shot at him I won’t aim for principle next time.”
Eddie finally shrugged, fingers brushing the guitar strings with a lazy strum. “Band’s fine,” he said offhandedly. “Still loud. Still illegal in at least three moral systems.” His eyes flicked back to her, amused and unrepentant. “But seriously, Chrissy—don’t act like you’re not pissed. You’re allowed to be mad. Hell, I’ll be mad for you. Jason Carver deserves every ounce of misery he gets, and then some. Dating him is like volunteering to get burned and being surprised when the fire shows up.” He tilted his head, grin returning, unapologetic. “So yeah. I’m judging. Hard.”
"Oh that's just gross, I could say the same thing about you! You can do much better than snot sleeves," she huffed with a little too much aggravation for the situation as it related to Eddie. She had zero feelings concerning Eddie's bedroom antics or roster. And if she did, she'd simply ignore them. Because to care at all about what he did in his spare time with girls was stupid. And Chrissy was not stupid.
Her brow furrowed as she listened to Eddie make far too many valid points. "Okay, I'm not trying to make her the only villain, okay? I'm simply saying she knew we were together. Hard to miss with how long we've been together." Chrissy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling nauseated for a moment before continuing. "But yes, you're right. Jason is the evil one here. And I knew it... anyone who is that much of an asshole to so many people isn't capable of being a good boyfriend for long. And I am upset. I just wish I wasn't so angry. I feel like I'm so mad I could just explode. I never get like this! I just want to make him hurt like I do. Does that make sense? I can't just.. let it go. Not yet. Not until he feels what he's done," she admitted, jaw tightening as she thought of the last two years she'd wasted wrapped up in a lie. "Don't aim for principle. Aim for his crotch. Preferably hard enough that he can't procreate and continue the cycle." She offered an affirmative nod, dropping her head to giggle for a moment. What was happening? She never talked like this.
Chrissy wasn't a vengeful person. Her life was a constant exercise in surrendering control, her mother surveilling and severing any habits or people from Chrissy's life that she didn't deem beneficial to her "growth and walk with God." It made sense she clung to Jason, the first boy that achieved the approval of her parents. It was a small sliver of freedom, having Jason as a boyfriend. Since her parents trusted him more than they trusted her, she was finally able to go to a few high school parties. It wasn't lost on her that Jason's impeccable ability to lie with a smile is why she was in her current situation; a mess of emotions verbally vomiting on stage to a rumored cult leader. Not that she believed that for a moment. But it was certainly quite the contrast from her normal day to day life.
"Judge away. It's complicated. My parents liked Jason, and they don't like anyone. They shelter me because they're afraid of me going down a bad path. Dating Jason meant I had a little more freedom without having to explain every single move I made. Turns out I was just trading one cage for another," she concluded, a dry laugh punctuating her last sentence.
"Well bigshot, play me something. Let's see if this rock star routine is just to bed as many girls as possible," she teased with a quirk of her eyebrow. Chrissy.... what's gotten into you?
Eddie let out a low, drawn-out whistle, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his messy mane of hair. He leaned back against the stage equipment, a wide, crooked grin spreading across his face. He wasn’t just surprised; he was absolutely electrified. Seeing "The Queen of Hawkins High" drop the pom-poms and start calling for blood was easily the highlight of his year.
"Woah, woah! Easy there, Cunningham! I didn't know there was a tiny, vengeful Viking hiding under all that pastel," he chuckled, pointing a dramatic finger at her. "The cycle of procreation? Brutal. I love it. Truly. If you keep this up, I might actually have to give you a vest and draft you into the Hellfire Club."
He hopped off the equipment, pacing the small space with a sudden burst of restless energy. "Now, if you really want to watch Carver squirm—and believe me, I would pay good money for that front-row seat—we have options. We could go full medieval. I’ve got some stage blood, we could stage a curse? Or maybe I just 'accidentally' drop an amplifier on his precious Jeep?" He waved a hand dismissively, his eyes glinting with mischief.
"But... if you want the surgical strike, the one that actually rots his ego from the inside out? You have to fight fire with fire. Or in this case, prestige with... well, let's call it 'social chaos'." He stopped in front of her, tilting his head with a smirk. "The guy thinks he owns the throne, right? He thinks he’s the only one worthy of your 'light'. So, the best way to make him feel the burn isn't just leaving him—it's making him realize exactly what he lost by seeing you belong to someone else. Someone who represents everything he hates. You make him think you’ve moved on to a different world entirely. One where he’s not even an afterthought."
He plucked a string on his guitar, a sharp, dissonant note ringing through the air. "I'm no relationship guru, Princess, but nothing stings a guy like Carver more than seeing his 'perfect' girl find something much more interesting in the shadows."
Chrissy's cheeks darkened to a deeper shade of pink as Eddie doled out such smooth-tongued compliments. She'd always admired that about him. The confidence to speak his mind. The way he truly didn't care what people thought of him. Even to a fault, and yet somehow...it still worked. Him being handsome certainly helped.
"I have no clue what Hellfire Club is other than it revolves around a game that has dungeons and dragons, right? I'm intrigued though," she countered, genuine in this confession. Sure, participating in his club of misfits would send her to a certain social death, but honestly? What did any of it matter anymore? It was humiliating thinking about returning to her friend group the next day, knowing by now everyone knew what Jason had done to her. Then there was the anticipatory divide: who would stay her friend, and who would remain faithful to Jason? She had a feeling Jason's flock far outnumbered hers.
Chrissy's blue eyes glimmered with amusement, studying Eddie as he paced the stage. It made sense he moved effortlessly on stage, because he was simply fascinating to watch. Most people kept themselves mild and composed, but Eddie? His every emotion danced across his face and actions in news bulletin fashion. Which she appreciated. Too many people in Chrissy's life smiled in her face, biding time for her to turn her back so they could plunge a knife into it, Michael Myers style.
"Jason would lose his entire mind if you pretended to put a curse on him. But I also think he'd get psychotically angry which I'm not exactly eager to trigger. I'm also not in a hurry to start a criminal record, but good suggestions." Chrissy's shoulders shook as she laughed at Eddie's words.
Except the next suggestion almost made Chrissy take back most of the complimentary things she'd thought about Eddie in the last few minutes. Scrunching her nose in disgust, she shook her head with an emphatic "NO way! The last thing I need is to get myself into another dating situation. I'm taking a break, indefinitely. It's just not worth it to me anymore. Plus it'll give me more time to dance and figure out a life outside of Jason and our... his friend group." Her face fell as she thought ahead to how awkward things would be at Hawkins until she learned her new normal. "I wish I could, I do. Because I think that would be the quickest way to drive him into hulk mode. You know him pretty well despite the fact that you've been enemies since the fifth grade," she teased, standing up to join him. She crossed her arms, glancing over at Eddie. "I just don't have it in me. When I think about being with anyone else, it almost makes me physically ill. As stupid as it is, I really did care for him. Plus, I haven't exactly seen anyone lining up to take his place if you know what I mean. It's pretty common knowledge around school how strict my parents are," she admitted sheepishly.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. I'll run away," she sighed, barely stamping her feet up and down in tiny tantrum fashion as her fists clamped by her sides. "Ughhh!!"
Eddie let out a low, mischievous chuckle, watching Chrissy’s mini-tantrum with a look of pure, unadulterated entertainment. He moved toward his guitar, carefully sliding it into its case and zipping it up with a sharp rrip. He slung the strap over his shoulder, grabbed his worn leather jacket from the floor, and shrugged into it with the practiced ease of a man who lived in it.
"First of all, Princess, Hellfire isn't just some board game club for kids in capes—though the capes are a nice touch, I’ll admit. It’s a brotherhood. A sanctuary. Some people around here call us a 'freak cult,' and honestly? I don't do much to discourage the rumors. Keeps the boring people away," he said with a cocky wink, his grin widening as he began to slowly circle her, his boots thumping rhythmically on the stage floor.
"Second... listen closely, because I’m about to drop some wisdom. I never said you should actually start a new relationship. Perish the thought! I’m saying you need Jason to think you have. Think of it as... a boyfriend-for-hire? A mercenary of romance. You write the rules, you set the boundaries, and he only exists when Carver’s fragile ego needs a good bruising."
He stopped behind her for a second, then reappeared on her other side, his hands moving animatedly as if he were laying out a master plan. "But it can't just be any random schmuck from the AV club. Sure, Jason hates everyone who isn't wearing a varsity jacket, but you need someone special. You need an antagonist. Someone he truly, deeply loves to hate. Someone who isn't afraid of him or his little squad of golden boys. Someone who hates him just as much as he hates... well, himself, probably."
Eddie stopped right in front of her, his head tilted back, a wickedly smug "bastard grin" plastered across his face. He hooked his thumbs into his waistband and then pointed them both toward his own chest.
"I’ve always been a fan of a good challenge, Cunningham. And from what I’ve gathered, your parents are... how do I put this delicately? Very dedicated to the Big Guy Upstairs. I’m sure the idea of their precious daughter hanging out with a metalhead who wears 'devil shirts' would send them into a holy frenzy. But see, that’s where the fun is. Tell me I 'can't' do something, and you’ll see exactly how far I’m willing to go."
He stepped a bit closer, his eyes dancing with chaotic light. "If your life is a tower and your parents are the dragons, think of me as Shrek. I’ll break into the castle, rescue the princess, and I would be more than happy to land a solid right hook on that 'Prince Charming's' perfectly chiseled jaw. So, what do you say? Ready to trade the cage for a little bit of beautiful, noisy chaos?"
Chrissy listened to Eddie's explanation of Hellfire, still no closer to understanding it than she had been minutes prior. She'd have to ask for details later, though she wasn't sure if her brain could grasp what all it entailed. The only thing that was abundantly clear to her was how passionate he remained about it despite the grief from other classmates. And she understood. Though cheerleading could be annoying and challenging at times, it also felt like what Eddie described as a "sanctuary." And it was equally misunderstood, with many people thinking it was pointless and juvenile despite the athletic fortitude and passion it required. "You're just squealing for the basketball team and making sure your hair stays in place," her brother once summarized during a fight.
The faint hint of dizziness began enveloping Chrissy as Eddie moved around her, describing the beginnings of a...pretty brilliant plan. One that would require quite a bit of sneaking around where her parents were concerned if she didn't want to end up with bars on her windows and no way of escape. Did Eddie's energy exude a type of frantic mania that Chrissy wasn't sure whether she could trust yet? Perhaps. Then again, the people she usually hung out with mostly resembled lobotomy patients. She could admit that. But Eddie's past did precede him. Even if at this point, she wasn't sure which were rumors and which were rooted in reality. However, what he was suggesting didn't seem too far-fetched. Of course Eddie would want to devise any plan he could to torment Jason. Jason had his sights set on ruining Eddie's day since they were kids. But pretending to... be with Chrissy? Would he really stay committed to the part?
She shook her head, doubtful of their ability to execute the plan. "You know... if we truly were to do this, you'd have to be very convincing. Jason's not smart, but he's also not stupid. If for one second he thinks this is some theatrical set up to get him angry, not only will it ruin the plan, but... you may not be the only one on the receiving end of his anger," she admitted, involuntarily shuddering. "Back when I thought he was someone I could trust, I told him some things about me that I would never want my parents to know. And that's probably the first thing he'll do if given the chance -- give away all my secrets so I'm grounded indefinitely and most likely sent to one of those Christian wilderness camps," she admitted, pushing a breath through her lips that fluttered her bangs. "He may tell them anyway just to be a jerk, but I don't want to poke the bear." Chrissy crossed her arms as an anchor to ground herself. "I'm tired of my parents controlling my every move and choosing what I get to do and who I get to be with. I'm seventeen. I'm nearly an adult and they still treat me like I've six! So yes, I would love to finally stand up to them by making my own decisions and not care about what they think. But Eddie... do you really think we can convince people we're actually dating?" Chrissy asked, the scoff within her laughter not lost. "I mean, I know I'm not your type. Do you think you can pretend well enough? I'm pretty sure you hate all my friends. Won't this be torture for you?" she asked, the last words falling quieter as she was suddenly hyperaware of the way Eddie's eyes pulled her in like a chaotic magnet. she continued to ramble, her words spilling quickly due to how exposed she felt under Eddie's gaze. "You're terrible at following rules so I doubt me making them is going to help us any. Plus, who's going to believe we're dating in the first place? I mean, it's not realistic is it?" she asked, though her tone shifted as if she began to doubt her statement about midway through the sentence.
Eddie held up both hands in mock surrender as the questions came rapid-fire, a slow grin stretching across his face until it showed every single tooth. He knew. That was the best part. He rocked back on his heels, then jumped cleanly down from the stage, boots thudding as he headed toward the seats. “Hey, hey—one at a time,” he said easily, voice warm with amusement. “Let’s address the greatest hits.” He gestured vaguely with one hand. “Convincing? Absolutely. I can be terrifyingly convincing. I mean—” his grin tipped smug, but playful, “—you’re smart, you’re gorgeous, and pretending to be into you does not exactly sound like hard labor.” He scoffed lightly. “Also, small but crucial detail? I’m in drama class. I play characters for fun. Hellfire’s just long-form improv with dice. Lying convincingly is basically a transferable skill at this point.”
He shrugged out of the grin just enough to let something sharper through. “And Jason?” Eddie’s jaw set, eyes darkening for half a second. “Jason Carver doesn’t get to touch you. Ever. If he figures it out, if he even thinks about running his mouth—then that just means I solve the problem. Permanently.” His tone stayed casual, but the promise underneath it wasn’t. “I don’t care if I have to knock every sanctimonious tooth out of his skull to keep him quiet.” The grin crept back in. “As for your parents—yeah. Big fans of the fire-and-brimstone greatest hits, huh? I can already picture it. Satanic metalhead corrupts America’s sweetheart. Front-page scandal. Honestly, I’d frame the article.”
He set the guitar case down by the door and headed back toward the stage, tossing the hair at the nape of his neck back over his shoulder as he climbed up. He stopped just behind her, close enough to feel her warmth, and leaned in—just enough. His breath brushed her neck as his voice dropped to a murmur. “So here’s the only question that actually matters, Chrissy.” A beat. “Can you play the game?” His smile was all challenge now. “How far are you willing to take it to make it real? When I have to sell it. When I have to touch you. Kiss you. Make everyone believe it.” His voice dipped lower, almost teasing, almost dangerous. “Because if we do this, we do it right. And I don’t back out halfway. Do you?”
Chrissy couldn't fight the heat that rose into her cheeks once again; a biological response Eddie coaxed with a mere handful of flattering words. It was incredibly difficult wrapping her brain around how he seemed to... truly see her. His eyes were an exploration in understanding. They didn't graze over her as if she were just another cheerleader in the hallway. Those eyes made Chrissy feel that she was something other than arm candy for the first time since she'd started dating Jason. "When you live among squalor, Chrissy, pearls from swine seem like diamonds from princes..." her mother's words echoed in her brain, taunting her like a judgmental angel sitting on her shoulder. What Mrs. Cunningham failed to explain was how good it would feel to receive those pearls when you grew up in a cold household void of consistent encouragement. While these emotions ran beneath the surface, Chrissy still managed to offer Eddie a sheepish smile. "Okay, okay Rob Lowe, point taken," she giggled with a playful wave of her hand.
Chrissy’s breath caught in her throat as Eddie’s voice shifted. What had once been playful now edged into something sharp and merciless. She wanted to explain it away, to convince herself that he couldn’t truly mean what he was implying about Jason. But deep down, she knew better. Eddie wasn’t joking. He was deadly serious. The realization sent a shiver through her, equal parts fear and thrill. Beneath his venom toward Jason was something else...something unmistakable. Protection. For her. The understanding made a nervous flutter spark to life in her stomach. No one had ever spoken like that for her before, had ever admitted such fierce, unapologetic need to protect her. And that knowledge lingered, unsettling and intoxicating all at once.
Chrissy forced a laugh when Eddie referenced her parents. Not that his assessment wasn't accurate. It was a little too accurate, dramatic description and all. Which reminded her of how much she honestly feared them both. But she was tired of living in fear. Why should Jason get to have all his screw ups with minimal consequences, while she walked a tightrope of impossible standards? It was sexist, and she was sick of having to perform better and appear purer just because she happened to be born a girl.
She felt her entire body stand at attention as Eddie spoke behind her, unable to turn and face him before warm, steady breath of his words sent shivers across the side of her neck. These goosebumps ignited a fiery explosion; starting at the top of her head, and shooting through her curled toes. Every nerve in her body lost its protective barrier as they felt the slow caress of Eddie's voice.
Chrissy nearly protested when Eddie casually implied that kissing would be part of the arrangement. The words lodged in her chest, sending a brisk spike of panic through her body. That hadn’t been part of her plan. It actually hadn’t even crossed her mind.
The truth was, she barely had any experience to draw from. She’d only kissed one other boy besides Jason, and that hardly counted. His name was Sean. She’d been thirteen, awkward and sunburned from church camp, clinging to the fleeting intensity of a summer that felt far more important than it really was. They’d shared a kiss before he returned to Texas. A soft, uncertain thing meant to seal the season shut. Three written letters followed. Then silence.
Remembering it now, Chrissy wasn’t even sure it qualified as real experience. Still, as much as the idea made her nerves twist, Eddie wasn’t wrong. If they wanted this to be convincing, if she wanted Jason to believe it...then a kiss, undeniable and public, would sell it better than anything else ever could. But he'd also said touch. What did he mean by that? Was he talking a hand on her back, or something more?
Chrissy shook her anxious thoughts free, knowing that she was fully dialed into this arrangement no matter her internal hesitation and panic. She turned around to face Eddie, the tip of her ponytail flicking across his nose. Eyes meeting his with newfound fierceness, she replied "Yeah, I can play the game. Kissing included. Touching? Well, you said I could write out the rules and set the boundaries, so let’s hope you care more about following mine than anyone else’s. Just don't fall in love with me, because I can't be responsible for breaking your heart when this is a strictly fake relationship," she explained, smirk curling the side of her mouth as she fought against a wide grin. Being in such proximity to Eddie made her feel dizzy all over again. Still, Eddie wasn't the only one with drama club experience. She held her ground, eyes dancing with playful banter. Reaching out her small hand, she held it still for a handshake. "'Til he cries or begs for forgiveness," she offered to seal their arrangement, grinning like an innocent, ethereal fae that wasn't currently coordinating the demise of her ex-boyfriend with her ex-boyfriend's mortal enemy as a copilot to the scheme.
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999) dir. Gil Junger

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Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Eddie snorted, the sound sharp and unapologetic. “Oh, trust me,” he said lightly, eyes glinting, “the Stacy lore is not exactly classified information.” He tipped his head. “Heard it all. Seen some of it. Hell—” he paused deliberately, smirk sharpening, “I may or may not have contributed to her extracurricular résumé once.” He shrugged like he was discussing the weather. “But here’s the thing, you don’t get to pin the gold medal for being garbage on her when your golden boy is the one with a girlfriend. Jason’s the one who signed up for monogamy and immediately lit it on fire. That’s not Stacy being reckless. That’s Jason being a professional-grade screw-up.”
He caught the shift immediately when her eyes flicked to the guitar, and his smirk sharpened like he’d been waiting for it. “Ah. The classic conversational dodge,” Eddie said, wagging his head. “Ten out of ten execution, but no, sweetheart, we’re not done dissecting Captain Varsity yet.” He scoffed softly, shaking his curls out of his face. “I mean, come on. That guy has the emotional depth of a puddle in a parking lot. And you?” He gestured vaguely at her, eyebrows raised. “You could do so much better.” He paused, then added, almost cheerfully, “And for the record, if I get another clean shot at him I won’t aim for principle next time.”
Eddie finally shrugged, fingers brushing the guitar strings with a lazy strum. “Band’s fine,” he said offhandedly. “Still loud. Still illegal in at least three moral systems.” His eyes flicked back to her, amused and unrepentant. “But seriously, Chrissy—don’t act like you’re not pissed. You’re allowed to be mad. Hell, I’ll be mad for you. Jason Carver deserves every ounce of misery he gets, and then some. Dating him is like volunteering to get burned and being surprised when the fire shows up.” He tilted his head, grin returning, unapologetic. “So yeah. I’m judging. Hard.”
"Oh that's just gross, I could say the same thing about you! You can do much better than snot sleeves," she huffed with a little too much aggravation for the situation as it related to Eddie. She had zero feelings concerning Eddie's bedroom antics or roster. And if she did, she'd simply ignore them. Because to care at all about what he did in his spare time with girls was stupid. And Chrissy was not stupid.
Her brow furrowed as she listened to Eddie make far too many valid points. "Okay, I'm not trying to make her the only villain, okay? I'm simply saying she knew we were together. Hard to miss with how long we've been together." Chrissy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling nauseated for a moment before continuing. "But yes, you're right. Jason is the evil one here. And I knew it... anyone who is that much of an asshole to so many people isn't capable of being a good boyfriend for long. And I am upset. I just wish I wasn't so angry. I feel like I'm so mad I could just explode. I never get like this! I just want to make him hurt like I do. Does that make sense? I can't just.. let it go. Not yet. Not until he feels what he's done," she admitted, jaw tightening as she thought of the last two years she'd wasted wrapped up in a lie. "Don't aim for principle. Aim for his crotch. Preferably hard enough that he can't procreate and continue the cycle." She offered an affirmative nod, dropping her head to giggle for a moment. What was happening? She never talked like this.
Chrissy wasn't a vengeful person. Her life was a constant exercise in surrendering control, her mother surveilling and severing any habits or people from Chrissy's life that she didn't deem beneficial to her "growth and walk with God." It made sense she clung to Jason, the first boy that achieved the approval of her parents. It was a small sliver of freedom, having Jason as a boyfriend. Since her parents trusted him more than they trusted her, she was finally able to go to a few high school parties. It wasn't lost on her that Jason's impeccable ability to lie with a smile is why she was in her current situation; a mess of emotions verbally vomiting on stage to a rumored cult leader. Not that she believed that for a moment. But it was certainly quite the contrast from her normal day to day life.
"Judge away. It's complicated. My parents liked Jason, and they don't like anyone. They shelter me because they're afraid of me going down a bad path. Dating Jason meant I had a little more freedom without having to explain every single move I made. Turns out I was just trading one cage for another," she concluded, a dry laugh punctuating her last sentence.
"Well bigshot, play me something. Let's see if this rock star routine is just to bed as many girls as possible," she teased with a quirk of her eyebrow. Chrissy.... what's gotten into you?
Eddie let out a low, drawn-out whistle, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his messy mane of hair. He leaned back against the stage equipment, a wide, crooked grin spreading across his face. He wasn’t just surprised; he was absolutely electrified. Seeing "The Queen of Hawkins High" drop the pom-poms and start calling for blood was easily the highlight of his year.
"Woah, woah! Easy there, Cunningham! I didn't know there was a tiny, vengeful Viking hiding under all that pastel," he chuckled, pointing a dramatic finger at her. "The cycle of procreation? Brutal. I love it. Truly. If you keep this up, I might actually have to give you a vest and draft you into the Hellfire Club."
He hopped off the equipment, pacing the small space with a sudden burst of restless energy. "Now, if you really want to watch Carver squirm—and believe me, I would pay good money for that front-row seat—we have options. We could go full medieval. I’ve got some stage blood, we could stage a curse? Or maybe I just 'accidentally' drop an amplifier on his precious Jeep?" He waved a hand dismissively, his eyes glinting with mischief.
"But... if you want the surgical strike, the one that actually rots his ego from the inside out? You have to fight fire with fire. Or in this case, prestige with... well, let's call it 'social chaos'." He stopped in front of her, tilting his head with a smirk. "The guy thinks he owns the throne, right? He thinks he’s the only one worthy of your 'light'. So, the best way to make him feel the burn isn't just leaving him—it's making him realize exactly what he lost by seeing you belong to someone else. Someone who represents everything he hates. You make him think you’ve moved on to a different world entirely. One where he’s not even an afterthought."
He plucked a string on his guitar, a sharp, dissonant note ringing through the air. "I'm no relationship guru, Princess, but nothing stings a guy like Carver more than seeing his 'perfect' girl find something much more interesting in the shadows."
Chrissy's cheeks darkened to a deeper shade of pink as Eddie doled out such smooth-tongued compliments. She'd always admired that about him. The confidence to speak his mind. The way he truly didn't care what people thought of him. Even to a fault, and yet somehow...it still worked. Him being handsome certainly helped.
"I have no clue what Hellfire Club is other than it revolves around a game that has dungeons and dragons, right? I'm intrigued though," she countered, genuine in this confession. Sure, participating in his club of misfits would send her to a certain social death, but honestly? What did any of it matter anymore? It was humiliating thinking about returning to her friend group the next day, knowing by now everyone knew what Jason had done to her. Then there was the anticipatory divide: who would stay her friend, and who would remain faithful to Jason? She had a feeling Jason's flock far outnumbered hers.
Chrissy's blue eyes glimmered with amusement, studying Eddie as he paced the stage. It made sense he moved effortlessly on stage, because he was simply fascinating to watch. Most people kept themselves mild and composed, but Eddie? His every emotion danced across his face and actions in news bulletin fashion. Which she appreciated. Too many people in Chrissy's life smiled in her face, biding time for her to turn her back so they could plunge a knife into it, Michael Myers style.
"Jason would lose his entire mind if you pretended to put a curse on him. But I also think he'd get psychotically angry which I'm not exactly eager to trigger. I'm also not in a hurry to start a criminal record, but good suggestions." Chrissy's shoulders shook as she laughed at Eddie's words.
Except the next suggestion almost made Chrissy take back most of the complimentary things she'd thought about Eddie in the last few minutes. Scrunching her nose in disgust, she shook her head with an emphatic "NO way! The last thing I need is to get myself into another dating situation. I'm taking a break, indefinitely. It's just not worth it to me anymore. Plus it'll give me more time to dance and figure out a life outside of Jason and our... his friend group." Her face fell as she thought ahead to how awkward things would be at Hawkins until she learned her new normal. "I wish I could, I do. Because I think that would be the quickest way to drive him into hulk mode. You know him pretty well despite the fact that you've been enemies since the fifth grade," she teased, standing up to join him. She crossed her arms, glancing over at Eddie. "I just don't have it in me. When I think about being with anyone else, it almost makes me physically ill. As stupid as it is, I really did care for him. Plus, I haven't exactly seen anyone lining up to take his place if you know what I mean. It's pretty common knowledge around school how strict my parents are," she admitted sheepishly.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. I'll run away," she sighed, barely stamping her feet up and down in tiny tantrum fashion as her fists clamped by her sides. "Ughhh!!"
Eddie let out a low, mischievous chuckle, watching Chrissy’s mini-tantrum with a look of pure, unadulterated entertainment. He moved toward his guitar, carefully sliding it into its case and zipping it up with a sharp rrip. He slung the strap over his shoulder, grabbed his worn leather jacket from the floor, and shrugged into it with the practiced ease of a man who lived in it.
"First of all, Princess, Hellfire isn't just some board game club for kids in capes—though the capes are a nice touch, I’ll admit. It’s a brotherhood. A sanctuary. Some people around here call us a 'freak cult,' and honestly? I don't do much to discourage the rumors. Keeps the boring people away," he said with a cocky wink, his grin widening as he began to slowly circle her, his boots thumping rhythmically on the stage floor.
"Second... listen closely, because I’m about to drop some wisdom. I never said you should actually start a new relationship. Perish the thought! I’m saying you need Jason to think you have. Think of it as... a boyfriend-for-hire? A mercenary of romance. You write the rules, you set the boundaries, and he only exists when Carver’s fragile ego needs a good bruising."
He stopped behind her for a second, then reappeared on her other side, his hands moving animatedly as if he were laying out a master plan. "But it can't just be any random schmuck from the AV club. Sure, Jason hates everyone who isn't wearing a varsity jacket, but you need someone special. You need an antagonist. Someone he truly, deeply loves to hate. Someone who isn't afraid of him or his little squad of golden boys. Someone who hates him just as much as he hates... well, himself, probably."
Eddie stopped right in front of her, his head tilted back, a wickedly smug "bastard grin" plastered across his face. He hooked his thumbs into his waistband and then pointed them both toward his own chest.
"I’ve always been a fan of a good challenge, Cunningham. And from what I’ve gathered, your parents are... how do I put this delicately? Very dedicated to the Big Guy Upstairs. I’m sure the idea of their precious daughter hanging out with a metalhead who wears 'devil shirts' would send them into a holy frenzy. But see, that’s where the fun is. Tell me I 'can't' do something, and you’ll see exactly how far I’m willing to go."
He stepped a bit closer, his eyes dancing with chaotic light. "If your life is a tower and your parents are the dragons, think of me as Shrek. I’ll break into the castle, rescue the princess, and I would be more than happy to land a solid right hook on that 'Prince Charming's' perfectly chiseled jaw. So, what do you say? Ready to trade the cage for a little bit of beautiful, noisy chaos?"
Chrissy listened to Eddie's explanation of Hellfire, still no closer to understanding it than she had been minutes prior. She'd have to ask for details later, though she wasn't sure if her brain could grasp what all it entailed. The only thing that was abundantly clear to her was how passionate he remained about it despite the grief from other classmates. And she understood. Though cheerleading could be annoying and challenging at times, it also felt like what Eddie described as a "sanctuary." And it was equally misunderstood, with many people thinking it was pointless and juvenile despite the athletic fortitude and passion it required. "You're just squealing for the basketball team and making sure your hair stays in place," her brother once summarized during a fight.
The faint hint of dizziness began enveloping Chrissy as Eddie moved around her, describing the beginnings of a...pretty brilliant plan. One that would require quite a bit of sneaking around where her parents were concerned if she didn't want to end up with bars on her windows and no way of escape. Did Eddie's energy exude a type of frantic mania that Chrissy wasn't sure whether she could trust yet? Perhaps. Then again, the people she usually hung out with mostly resembled lobotomy patients. She could admit that. But Eddie's past did precede him. Even if at this point, she wasn't sure which were rumors and which were rooted in reality. However, what he was suggesting didn't seem too far-fetched. Of course Eddie would want to devise any plan he could to torment Jason. Jason had his sights set on ruining Eddie's day since they were kids. But pretending to... be with Chrissy? Would he really stay committed to the part?
She shook her head, doubtful of their ability to execute the plan. "You know... if we truly were to do this, you'd have to be very convincing. Jason's not smart, but he's also not stupid. If for one second he thinks this is some theatrical set up to get him angry, not only will it ruin the plan, but... you may not be the only one on the receiving end of his anger," she admitted, involuntarily shuddering. "Back when I thought he was someone I could trust, I told him some things about me that I would never want my parents to know. And that's probably the first thing he'll do if given the chance -- give away all my secrets so I'm grounded indefinitely and most likely sent to one of those Christian wilderness camps," she admitted, pushing a breath through her lips that fluttered her bangs. "He may tell them anyway just to be a jerk, but I don't want to poke the bear." Chrissy crossed her arms as an anchor to ground herself. "I'm tired of my parents controlling my every move and choosing what I get to do and who I get to be with. I'm seventeen. I'm nearly an adult and they still treat me like I've six! So yes, I would love to finally stand up to them by making my own decisions and not care about what they think. But Eddie... do you really think we can convince people we're actually dating?" Chrissy asked, the scoff within her laughter not lost. "I mean, I know I'm not your type. Do you think you can pretend well enough? I'm pretty sure you hate all my friends. Won't this be torture for you?" she asked, the last words falling quieter as she was suddenly hyperaware of the way Eddie's eyes pulled her in like a chaotic magnet. she continued to ramble, her words spilling quickly due to how exposed she felt under Eddie's gaze. "You're terrible at following rules so I doubt me making them is going to help us any. Plus, who's going to believe we're dating in the first place? I mean, it's not realistic is it?" she asked, though her tone shifted as if she began to doubt her statement about midway through the sentence.
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Eddie snorted, the sound sharp and unapologetic. “Oh, trust me,” he said lightly, eyes glinting, “the Stacy lore is not exactly classified information.” He tipped his head. “Heard it all. Seen some of it. Hell—” he paused deliberately, smirk sharpening, “I may or may not have contributed to her extracurricular résumé once.” He shrugged like he was discussing the weather. “But here’s the thing, you don’t get to pin the gold medal for being garbage on her when your golden boy is the one with a girlfriend. Jason’s the one who signed up for monogamy and immediately lit it on fire. That’s not Stacy being reckless. That’s Jason being a professional-grade screw-up.”
He caught the shift immediately when her eyes flicked to the guitar, and his smirk sharpened like he’d been waiting for it. “Ah. The classic conversational dodge,” Eddie said, wagging his head. “Ten out of ten execution, but no, sweetheart, we’re not done dissecting Captain Varsity yet.” He scoffed softly, shaking his curls out of his face. “I mean, come on. That guy has the emotional depth of a puddle in a parking lot. And you?” He gestured vaguely at her, eyebrows raised. “You could do so much better.” He paused, then added, almost cheerfully, “And for the record, if I get another clean shot at him I won’t aim for principle next time.”
Eddie finally shrugged, fingers brushing the guitar strings with a lazy strum. “Band’s fine,” he said offhandedly. “Still loud. Still illegal in at least three moral systems.” His eyes flicked back to her, amused and unrepentant. “But seriously, Chrissy—don’t act like you’re not pissed. You’re allowed to be mad. Hell, I’ll be mad for you. Jason Carver deserves every ounce of misery he gets, and then some. Dating him is like volunteering to get burned and being surprised when the fire shows up.” He tilted his head, grin returning, unapologetic. “So yeah. I’m judging. Hard.”
"Oh that's just gross, I could say the same thing about you! You can do much better than snot sleeves," she huffed with a little too much aggravation for the situation as it related to Eddie. She had zero feelings concerning Eddie's bedroom antics or roster. And if she did, she'd simply ignore them. Because to care at all about what he did in his spare time with girls was stupid. And Chrissy was not stupid.
Her brow furrowed as she listened to Eddie make far too many valid points. "Okay, I'm not trying to make her the only villain, okay? I'm simply saying she knew we were together. Hard to miss with how long we've been together." Chrissy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling nauseated for a moment before continuing. "But yes, you're right. Jason is the evil one here. And I knew it... anyone who is that much of an asshole to so many people isn't capable of being a good boyfriend for long. And I am upset. I just wish I wasn't so angry. I feel like I'm so mad I could just explode. I never get like this! I just want to make him hurt like I do. Does that make sense? I can't just.. let it go. Not yet. Not until he feels what he's done," she admitted, jaw tightening as she thought of the last two years she'd wasted wrapped up in a lie. "Don't aim for principle. Aim for his crotch. Preferably hard enough that he can't procreate and continue the cycle." She offered an affirmative nod, dropping her head to giggle for a moment. What was happening? She never talked like this.
Chrissy wasn't a vengeful person. Her life was a constant exercise in surrendering control, her mother surveilling and severing any habits or people from Chrissy's life that she didn't deem beneficial to her "growth and walk with God." It made sense she clung to Jason, the first boy that achieved the approval of her parents. It was a small sliver of freedom, having Jason as a boyfriend. Since her parents trusted him more than they trusted her, she was finally able to go to a few high school parties. It wasn't lost on her that Jason's impeccable ability to lie with a smile is why she was in her current situation; a mess of emotions verbally vomiting on stage to a rumored cult leader. Not that she believed that for a moment. But it was certainly quite the contrast from her normal day to day life.
"Judge away. It's complicated. My parents liked Jason, and they don't like anyone. They shelter me because they're afraid of me going down a bad path. Dating Jason meant I had a little more freedom without having to explain every single move I made. Turns out I was just trading one cage for another," she concluded, a dry laugh punctuating her last sentence.
"Well bigshot, play me something. Let's see if this rock star routine is just to bed as many girls as possible," she teased with a quirk of her eyebrow. Chrissy.... what's gotten into you?
Eddie let out a low, drawn-out whistle, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his messy mane of hair. He leaned back against the stage equipment, a wide, crooked grin spreading across his face. He wasn’t just surprised; he was absolutely electrified. Seeing "The Queen of Hawkins High" drop the pom-poms and start calling for blood was easily the highlight of his year.
"Woah, woah! Easy there, Cunningham! I didn't know there was a tiny, vengeful Viking hiding under all that pastel," he chuckled, pointing a dramatic finger at her. "The cycle of procreation? Brutal. I love it. Truly. If you keep this up, I might actually have to give you a vest and draft you into the Hellfire Club."
He hopped off the equipment, pacing the small space with a sudden burst of restless energy. "Now, if you really want to watch Carver squirm—and believe me, I would pay good money for that front-row seat—we have options. We could go full medieval. I’ve got some stage blood, we could stage a curse? Or maybe I just 'accidentally' drop an amplifier on his precious Jeep?" He waved a hand dismissively, his eyes glinting with mischief.
"But... if you want the surgical strike, the one that actually rots his ego from the inside out? You have to fight fire with fire. Or in this case, prestige with... well, let's call it 'social chaos'." He stopped in front of her, tilting his head with a smirk. "The guy thinks he owns the throne, right? He thinks he’s the only one worthy of your 'light'. So, the best way to make him feel the burn isn't just leaving him—it's making him realize exactly what he lost by seeing you belong to someone else. Someone who represents everything he hates. You make him think you’ve moved on to a different world entirely. One where he’s not even an afterthought."
He plucked a string on his guitar, a sharp, dissonant note ringing through the air. "I'm no relationship guru, Princess, but nothing stings a guy like Carver more than seeing his 'perfect' girl find something much more interesting in the shadows."
Chrissy's cheeks darkened to a deeper shade of pink as Eddie doled out such smooth-tongued compliments. She'd always admired that about him. The confidence to speak his mind. The way he truly didn't care what people thought of him. Even to a fault, and yet somehow...it still worked. Him being handsome certainly helped.
"I have no clue what Hellfire Club is other than it revolves around a game that has dungeons and dragons, right? I'm intrigued though," she countered, genuine in this confession. Sure, participating in his club of misfits would send her to a certain social death, but honestly? What did any of it matter anymore? It was humiliating thinking about returning to her friend group the next day, knowing by now everyone knew what Jason had done to her. Then there was the anticipatory divide: who would stay her friend, and who would remain faithful to Jason? She had a feeling Jason's flock far outnumbered hers.
Chrissy's blue eyes glimmered with amusement, studying Eddie as he paced the stage. It made sense he moved effortlessly on stage, because he was simply fascinating to watch. Most people kept themselves mild and composed, but Eddie? His every emotion danced across his face and actions in news bulletin fashion. Which she appreciated. Too many people in Chrissy's life smiled in her face, biding time for her to turn her back so they could plunge a knife into it, Michael Myers style.
"Jason would lose his entire mind if you pretended to put a curse on him. But I also think he'd get psychotically angry which I'm not exactly eager to trigger. I'm also not in a hurry to start a criminal record, but good suggestions." Chrissy's shoulders shook as she laughed at Eddie's words.
Except the next suggestion almost made Chrissy take back most of the complimentary things she'd thought about Eddie in the last few minutes. Scrunching her nose in disgust, she shook her head with an emphatic "NO way! The last thing I need is to get myself into another dating situation. I'm taking a break, indefinitely. It's just not worth it to me anymore. Plus it'll give me more time to dance and figure out a life outside of Jason and our... his friend group." Her face fell as she thought ahead to how awkward things would be at Hawkins until she learned her new normal. "I wish I could, I do. Because I think that would be the quickest way to drive him into hulk mode. You know him pretty well despite the fact that you've been enemies since the fifth grade," she teased, standing up to join him. She crossed her arms, glancing over at Eddie. "I just don't have it in me. When I think about being with anyone else, it almost makes me physically ill. As stupid as it is, I really did care for him. Plus, I haven't exactly seen anyone lining up to take his place if you know what I mean. It's pretty common knowledge around school how strict my parents are," she admitted sheepishly.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. I'll run away," she sighed, barely stamping her feet up and down in tiny tantrum fashion as her fists clamped by her sides. "Ughhh!!"
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Eddie snorted, the sound sharp and unapologetic. “Oh, trust me,” he said lightly, eyes glinting, “the Stacy lore is not exactly classified information.” He tipped his head. “Heard it all. Seen some of it. Hell—” he paused deliberately, smirk sharpening, “I may or may not have contributed to her extracurricular résumé once.” He shrugged like he was discussing the weather. “But here’s the thing, you don’t get to pin the gold medal for being garbage on her when your golden boy is the one with a girlfriend. Jason’s the one who signed up for monogamy and immediately lit it on fire. That’s not Stacy being reckless. That’s Jason being a professional-grade screw-up.”
He caught the shift immediately when her eyes flicked to the guitar, and his smirk sharpened like he’d been waiting for it. “Ah. The classic conversational dodge,” Eddie said, wagging his head. “Ten out of ten execution, but no, sweetheart, we’re not done dissecting Captain Varsity yet.” He scoffed softly, shaking his curls out of his face. “I mean, come on. That guy has the emotional depth of a puddle in a parking lot. And you?” He gestured vaguely at her, eyebrows raised. “You could do so much better.” He paused, then added, almost cheerfully, “And for the record, if I get another clean shot at him I won’t aim for principle next time.”
Eddie finally shrugged, fingers brushing the guitar strings with a lazy strum. “Band’s fine,” he said offhandedly. “Still loud. Still illegal in at least three moral systems.” His eyes flicked back to her, amused and unrepentant. “But seriously, Chrissy—don’t act like you’re not pissed. You’re allowed to be mad. Hell, I’ll be mad for you. Jason Carver deserves every ounce of misery he gets, and then some. Dating him is like volunteering to get burned and being surprised when the fire shows up.” He tilted his head, grin returning, unapologetic. “So yeah. I’m judging. Hard.”
"Oh that's just gross, I could say the same thing about you! You can do much better than snot sleeves," she huffed with a little too much aggravation for the situation as it related to Eddie. She had zero feelings concerning Eddie's bedroom antics or roster. And if she did, she'd simply ignore them. Because to care at all about what he did in his spare time with girls was stupid. And Chrissy was not stupid.
Her brow furrowed as she listened to Eddie make far too many valid points. "Okay, I'm not trying to make her the only villain, okay? I'm simply saying she knew we were together. Hard to miss with how long we've been together." Chrissy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling nauseated for a moment before continuing. "But yes, you're right. Jason is the evil one here. And I knew it... anyone who is that much of an asshole to so many people isn't capable of being a good boyfriend for long. And I am upset. I just wish I wasn't so angry. I feel like I'm so mad I could just explode. I never get like this! I just want to make him hurt like I do. Does that make sense? I can't just.. let it go. Not yet. Not until he feels what he's done," she admitted, jaw tightening as she thought of the last two years she'd wasted wrapped up in a lie. "Don't aim for principle. Aim for his crotch. Preferably hard enough that he can't procreate and continue the cycle." She offered an affirmative nod, dropping her head to giggle for a moment. What was happening? She never talked like this.
Chrissy wasn't a vengeful person. Her life was a constant exercise in surrendering control, her mother surveilling and severing any habits or people from Chrissy's life that she didn't deem beneficial to her "growth and walk with God." It made sense she clung to Jason, the first boy that achieved the approval of her parents. It was a small sliver of freedom, having Jason as a boyfriend. Since her parents trusted him more than they trusted her, she was finally able to go to a few high school parties. It wasn't lost on her that Jason's impeccable ability to lie with a smile is why she was in her current situation; a mess of emotions verbally vomiting on stage to a rumored cult leader. Not that she believed that for a moment. But it was certainly quite the contrast from her normal day to day life.
"Judge away. It's complicated. My parents liked Jason, and they don't like anyone. They shelter me because they're afraid of me going down a bad path. Dating Jason meant I had a little more freedom without having to explain every single move I made. Turns out I was just trading one cage for another," she concluded, a dry laugh punctuating her last sentence.
"Well bigshot, play me something. Let's see if this rock star routine is just to bed as many girls as possible," she teased with a quirk of her eyebrow. Chrissy.... what's gotten into you?
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.
Eddie Munson had woken up that morning already in a bad mood, which was saying something, because his baseline was usually a carefully curated chaos of sarcasm, noise, and deliberate noncompliance.
Eddie hated Jason with a commitment that bordered on spiritual. It wasn’t just the varsity-jock entitlement or the way Jason walked through Hawkins High like the halls had been poured in his image. It was the smug righteousness of him; the way he smiled like he was God’s favorite son, like the universe itself had personally handed him a letterman jacket and a free pass to be a jackass. Eddie had tolerated bullies his whole life... he’d grown up learning how to roll with punches, verbal and otherwise. But Jason didn’t just punch. He erased. He decided who mattered and who didn’t and he did it loudly.
Detention wasn’t new to Eddie. Detention was practically a second home. He’d earned it for blasting Dio in the parking lot, for staging a lunchtime air-guitar concert on a cafeteria table, for setting off a smoke bomb during pep rally because, in his professional opinion, pep rallies were an offense to humanity.
But this time? This time was Jason.
Two days ago, Eddie had been minding his own business; leaning against his locker, arguing passionately with Gareth about whether Iron Maiden peaked with Powerslave - when Jason had decided to run his mouth. About “freaks” and “cult shit” and “people like Munson.” Eddie hadn’t even planned to respond. Truly. He’d made it almost ten whole seconds before Jason laughed and called Hellfire a joke.
That was when Eddie had stepped forward, unable to help himself, and asked Jason politely, almost kindly if running his mouth was the only talent he had left now that basketball season was over.
Jason shoved him first. Hard enough to draw attention. Hard enough to justify what came next.
Eddie had swung. Not his best punch - he’d been aiming more for principle than precision - but it landed. Jason’s cheek had gone a satisfying shade of red, and Eddie would’ve gladly turned it purple if Coach hadn’t intervened. The end result was Jason walking away with his ego bruised and Eddie sitting in detention, jaw tight, hands itching, thinking that if he ever found a legally acceptable reason to rearrange Jason Carver’s face, he’d take it without hesitation.
So yeah. Eddie was in a mood.
By late afternoon, detention had bled into the familiar ache of boredom, and boredom into restlessness. He couldn’t practice in the music room anymore, not after Jason had complained about “satanic noise” echoing through the halls. So Eddie had been relegated to the storage area behind the auditorium, a half-forgotten space cluttered with broken props and folding chairs that smelled like dust and old paint. It wasn’t ideal, but it was quiet enough.
Home wasn’t an option. His uncle had worked a double shift and needed sleep and Eddie knew better than to bring distorted guitar riffs into a house where rest was sacred. His music didn’t soothe. It invaded.
So Eddie sat on the floor, legs sprawled, guitar balanced against his thigh, tongue poking out slightly as he focused on replacing a string. He frowned in concentration, curls falling into his face, fingers nimble and practiced as they worked the wire into place. When Eddie focused, really focused, the world narrowed. His brows knit together, jaw set, every ounce of him locked into the task. There was something almost reverent about it: the way he handled his instrument, like it was alive, like it deserved respect.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered under his breath, tightening the peg. “Don’t be a diva.”
The string snapped.
“You son of a bitc— ” Eddie hissed as it whipped back, slicing his finger. A bead of blood welled instantly. Without thinking, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking the cut clean with a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut as the sting flared. He tasted copper and irritation, both familiar companions.
That was when he heard her voice.
Eddie stilled.
He recognized the cadence before he recognized the person: the soft, breathless fury, words tumbling over each other like they’d been trapped too long. He caught fragments, complaints, a name: Jason.
Eddie’s mouth curled into a slow, knowing smirk.
Of course.
He slipped past the curtain and didn’t bother hiding his presence for long. “Well,” Eddie drawled, “if it helps at all, Jason Carver has the personality of a varsity jacket with legs. You’re way too good for that idiot.”
“And just so you know,” he added casually, “I’m deeply honored to be included in what sounded like the most honest therapy session this school’s ever hosted. And uh, it was a stellar monologue. Truly. Five stars. Would absolutely listen again.”
Chrissy involuntarily jumped backward as a figure immerged from behind the curtains. Admittedly, she'd startled a little too dramatically. It's not that Eddie Munson had ever done anything to Chrissy for her to fear him. He just... had this presence that put all of her senses on high alert. But, not in the way of sensing danger. More like the slow, clacking ride up toward the first drop in a rollercoaster. At age five, she would've run away crying. But now, anticipation was the best high she'd ever felt. Not that she'd ever felt any high for that matter. Plus, he was surely three feet taller than her.
Her eyes shot down to the floor as Eddie complimented the rant she'd never meant for anyone to hear. Especially not Eddie. His approval of her words helped to soften the sting of embarrassment that threatened to ruin their whole interaction. Which, for some pressing reason, Chrissy couldn't bear ending prematurely. She was certainly curious to see this through.
At a loss for words, Chrissy curtseyed with a playful bow of her head, high ponytail fluttering beneath the confines of its green ribbon. "I guess it is kind of funny I was saying it onstage in the auditorium where class presidents hold their speeches. But in the gym... can you imagine? Crashing a Pep Rally by taking the microphone and airing out all of his dirty laundry. It's so poetic I could almost cry," she grinned with a light giggle, surprised at how boldly she spoke with Eddie. It certainly helped that she knew Jason was probably Eddie's least favorite person. Speaking of which...
"Considering what I found out today, I should thank you. That busted cheek was premature karma. I would've done it myself, but..." Chrissy trailed off, realizing the last bit of information would lead to an admission she certainly wasn't ready to divulge. "It's just... Stacy? You're a grade higher, so you may not know this... but Stacy was the kid who used to wipe her snotty nose on the arm of her shirt in Elementary School. Growing boobs doesn't change the fact that she was snotty sleeve Stacy!" she huffed, before adding "Not to mention the fact that she's already ran through half of the basketball team!"
Chrissy crossed her arms, shifting on her feet as the air held silent between them. She noticed Eddie wearing an amused smirk, and she couldn't restrain the grin that fought through her frown. "I'm serious, Eddie! It's just crazy. I mean I know I'm no prize, but that is just humiliating," she admitted, feeling a sharp prick of pain blooming inside of her chest.
Eager to change the subject, she pointed down to his guitar. "Getting in some practice? How's that going, the band thing?" she asked, genuinely inquisitive but equally desperate to pivot away from the topic of Jason. "You were good in middle school, so I'm sure you're a regular Eddie Van Halen now, huh?"
Empty Seats, Full Pretenses
@hellmunsonfire
He'd done it this time, and there was no redeeming him.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well. I think it was the cafeteria macaroni and cheese," Chrissy lied, knowing she rarely put any cafeteria food in her mouth. Judging by the look Stacy was giving her, the excuse wasn't believable. Chrissy shook her head, covering up one lie with another. "Okay, okay... I started my period and I'm in a lot of pain. I need to go home and get under a blanket with my hot water bottle. Can you handle taking over today?" she asked, the tone of her voice rising higher at the end of the sentence. She didn't have much time before the girls basketball team came into the gym for practice. And the last thing she wanted to see was her. Stacy, brow furrowed with fake concern, placed a hand on Chrissy's shoulder. "Look, most of us are synched up on the squad so I know it isn't your period. But I also know you just found out about Jason and Lisa playing tonsil hockey behind the bleachers last week. You take all the time you need, honey." Chrissy forced a smile, knowing Stacy's eagerness to take over was partly because she'd been gunning for the cheer captain position since Chrissy took over. "Thanks, Stace. I owe you one," she replied, an audible sign of relief escaping her lips. Not that she could go anywhere far from the school. Her mother was set to pick her up at 4:30 sharp, and heaven help her if she was a second late to meet her. Still, gaining some distance between herself, Jason, and Lisa the loose goose was preferable. Not that she blamed only Lisa. It was just easier to hate her than it was to hate Jason for some reason.
Chrissy mentally rattled the drama club's schedule through her brain -- knowledge gained from the year she'd spent as a member. Before cheerleading and dance took over. No rehearsal today. Perfect.
Slipping into the auditorium, she fell nearly blind as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the empty room. Hand reaching out with guessing accuracy, she flipped on the lights that hung above the stage. Shielding her eyes for a moment to adjust, she peeked around to make sure she was alone. Walking down the aisle, she pulled herself onto the stage and rested in a seated position. Her legs kicked up and down in front of her with angry energy as her heels tapped the side of the stage. In usual Chrissy fashion, she began to monologue to herself as a way to vent the frustration spilling over like an eruption of fiery lava.
"What the hell does he see in her, anyway?! I help him study, I pick out his clothes for all of his basketball banquets, I'm Betty flipping Crocker anytime he has a craving for any home-cooked food, and I even cleaned up the vomit in his car after he had one two many beers at the team's party after the championship win! I'm a ffffff fucking Stepford Wife with no ring!" she finished, cheeks flushing at her usage of a curse word. She knew it didn't sound natural when she spoke them, but sometimes a curse word was the only appropriate adjective. Just then, she heard a creak of the worn floorboard breaking through her words. The floorboard behind the stage's curtain. "H-h-hello? Is someone there?" she inquired, moving to a standing position as she faced the backstage area.

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