let's throw 1,000 skittles into each other's mouths and not tell anyone
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@polite-alien
let's throw 1,000 skittles into each other's mouths and not tell anyone

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"I can't remember their names but... they were my friends. My comrades"
Pls stop I'm crying 😭
I swear Rocky is looking at Grace like he’s his 15 year old dog who is starting to make strange sounds in his sleep-
I hope they pirated Minecraft on those computers. I think Rocky would like it
Love that everyone in the fandom collectively agreed that this man is either gay or aroace

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This actually floored me lol
I want to be him but also I want him but also I think he'd be a great father figure. Someone please tell me if this is normal
[not feeling cute. Probably gonna delete this later]
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Arograce x f!aroace reader [Part 1]
A/N: this isn't completely accurate to the movie or book events. I am not aroace myself so please feel free to comment if I might've misrepresented something or to just educate me on some aroace topics you guys would like to see represented in the fic
Tags: aroace,platonic soulmates,teacher x teacher,found family,mentions of acephpbia
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"And that's why vaping is just as bad as smoking" You scribbled a skull on the whiteboard just for emphasis and turned to the around twenty five deadpan expressions of children staring back at you.
They probably saw an entire second pep talk about no smoking and vaping to be excessive and unnecessary but the truth is that your colleagues and yourself noticed a worrying rise of smoking at younger ages up until even seventh graders. Sure it looked less worrying than seeing a thirteen year old with a cigarette but just because it smells like bubblegum and looks like an oddly shaped highlighter doesn't make it any less damaging.
"Any questions?" The room was so loud you could hear a person coughing in the way back of the auditorium.
"Alright then"
~*~*~*~*
"Hi sweetie. How's things going with school?" Your mom's voice had grown to have a sympathetic edge to it ever since you hit your thirties.
"Yeah things are okay. Kids are being a bit chaotic but it's a Friday so"
"That's good. How about you though. Are you really ok?" Your mom's concern had been directed to you ever since your sister got happily married while you remained single. She was searching for a sadness that was buried deep under your 'feigned contempt' You loved your mom. You really did. She cared so much for you but she never really understood how you could claim to be happy with how your life was right now. And not happy in a "I've made peace with it" way. Truly happy. You loved your own whimsical apartment,you were getting closer to buying your dream car and you adored your job of inspiring young minds. You had everything you could ever hope for.
"I met a very handsome young man at work"
You paced around the room, suddenly your thirty minute lunch break felt too long. "Mom" a deep sigh left your throat but you reluctantly let her ramble.
"I know I know but he's quite he gentleman" your mom returned your frustration with a sigh of her own. "I just want you to be happy"
"I know" You knew she cared. You just wished she could accept that you were happy as things were.
You opened he staff window and took a drag from your mango flavoured vape. You were careful to blow it out of the window. Usually you didn't like smoking on the job but lord knows you needed a moment of peace.
"Vaping causes throat irritation, coughing, nausea, and headaches. Long-term use can lead to severe issues, including permanent lung damage, cardiovascular strain, heavy nicotine addiction and ...what else did you say again?" You rolled your eyes as Mr. Grace,your colleague, repeated your exact words you'd preached to the auditorium full of seventh and eighth graders. A lecture that him,Mrs Smith and Mr. Lang had to chaperone since the two grades combined were quite the handful. Grace had confiscated atleast two vapes and three phones from that lecture alone.
"Who exactly told his class they needed to have a balanced diet?" You asked then gestured to his spicy ramen. The same exact kind your colleague has every single day. Not exactly all that nutritious.
"Touché" Grace raised his hands in mock defense and for a moment you felt the tension ease from your shoulders.
"Why the long face?"
His sincere question evoked a sigh so defeated that Ryland's eyebrows shot up sky high.
"Woah okay. Serious stuff I'm guessing?"
"It's my mom. She's nagging me about when I'm gonna 'find someone again'" you expected an expression that most people shared of 'oh well that's not so bad' but instead you found empathy.
"That sucks. I get it" his tone was more sincere this time as if he carried that feeling of not belonging in the carefully constructed box that society had made. "It's like you should be wanting more but hey you're happy as things are"
"Exactly!" A smile painted your features with the feeling of being recognised for once in your life but it quickly fell as you came to the reality that just by sharing the struggles of a problem didn't make it go away.
"I feel like what I want it's never enough. Like I'm" you struggled to find the right words "failing somehow. But I don't want to be unhappy either." It was a fine line to walk of not wanting to disappoint your family but also wanting to live a happy fulfilled life. "Damned if you do and damned if you don't am I right?"
Grace listened with a newfound intent and made little effort to adjust his crooked glasses. He very scarcely talked about being aroace. You both did. It was a part of yourselves that was often deemed as unnecessary information.
"I used to be scared of growing up. I think maybe I was just childish. The thought of marriage scared me but I always thought it was an inevitable thing that was going to happen" his fingers drummed over the wooden table of the teacher's lounge that still had light rings from Ryland and Mrs. Smith forgetfulness when it came to the concept of using coasters.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking" he quoted what must be some article or book and it made you look up from your now lukewarm coffee. The words struck a chord within you and it seemed to have struck him a while ago as well. He had the words memorised and said them as if it carried the weight of the entire world.
"Steve jobs by Walter Isaacson. You should read it sometime" a smile creeped it's way onto his lips.
The bell rung and Grace stared with a defeated expression at his half eaten noodles. Darn! He didn't even get to finish his greasy lunch.
"My bad"
"It's fine. Better for my heart anyway" he clapped his hands before getting up and mentally preparing himself for his next three classes.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What is 67?" He ran a confused hand over his face. "Like is it slang for cool or?" He felt like this was the skibidi toilet fiasco all over again.
His students just shrugged and did the motion. "It's 67"
"I know but what does it mean?" He gave up when his question was met by giggles and a few students just doing the motion again.
He's lost touch with the lingo since he's been teaching less classes with this whole project hail mary he was part of.
It was horrific to remember the explosion. The three lives that weren't just lost but evaporated into nothing. Like they hadn't even existed in the first place.
A knock on the door took him out of his own tragic thoughts and he saw Stratt standing there. She was not fond of children. Her cold gaze did not soften for the twenty curious eyes that were focused on her.
"Dr. Grace" she greeted. "I would like to speak with you in private"
"But I'm kinda of teaching a class right now" he gestured but when she showed no intention of leaving and coming back later he put a pen down by a table nearest to his desk. "Uh Veronica you're in charge ok?" He knew they were going to erupt in noise anyway but it was better than nothing.
He followed Stratt into the empty hallway and waited eagerly for a reason but the two men dressed in black suits ushered him into a mysterious vehicle.
He reluctantly walked with Stratt to the big conference room that had a large curved wooden table at the middle. The backup engineer and pilot sat dressed in their orange NASA suits along with less familiar faces.
"You miss me or something?" He smiled at his own joke.
"We need a scientist" she started and the further she explained his smile fell and his posture grew rigid.
Him. They wanted him. "You can't be serious. I mean I can't even moonwalk. I get sick on the elevator!"
"Good thing we don't have elevators in space" Yaoi chimed in as he took a bite from the complementary twizzlers on the on the table. Grace would've taken one for himself if he didn't feel like his entire life he'd built was being threatened of being ripped from his hands.
"You have no immediate family. You don't even have a dog. You have no childen"
"I have kids! Dozens of them. They come to my class every single day!"
"Dr. Grace don't embarrass yourself. We both know this isn't about your students. If you truly cared for them you would save their world we both know it"
Stratt's words were sharp and calculated in a way that made Ryland cringe. She had a point. He didn't have a wife. Didn't have children of his own. But he had a life. He had friends. He had dreams and he had parents that he cared for. Was that not enough? Apperantly not.
"What about my fiancé?" He blurted out,grasping at straws the more he realised that Stratt wasn't going to take a simple no as an answer.
"Lying is not exactly your strong suit Dr. Grace. And frankly it insults my intelligence"
Darn she wasn't gullible. He should've guessed that. He wracked his brain and tried to think of a name. Who would understand? Who would say yes when asked something as crazy as Will you legally marry me so I don't have to go on a secret government suicide mission?
"I do though" Your name fell off his lips before he could doubt this ridiculous scheme of his.
Stratt frowned. She wasn't convinced but she couldn't prove Grace wrong. She wasn't there where he supposedly proposed to this person.
"I promise I will train this scientist as fast as possible. It won't waste any time. But I can't leave my fiancé here"
"Dr. Grace as touching as your love for your... fiancé is we still need the best minds on this project. That means you"
Darn. Stratt really was a tough cookie. Think Grace. Think,think.
"She's pregnant"
He was already regretting the words the moment he said it. His lies were becoming bigger like a crashing evalanche.
The entire room went quiet and for a moment Start showed the smallest flicker of humanity. "If you can prove these claims I will consider it. But you have to spend the next two months training the scientist. Day in. Day out. Am I understood?"
"Yes- yeah of course" for a second he felt like he could breathe again but then he remembered the tiny detail of how in the heck was he going to get you to agree to this?
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Pizza? Check. Chocolate ice cream? Check. Too much popcorn for your health? Check. You were having your annual movie-thon with your friends. It's a tradition you started since your first year in uni but it's been more difficukt to keep up since your friends got married,had kids and more.
You couldn't blame them but sometimes you felt like you were behind somehow by not having these things. Even if you didn't possess a desire for marriage or children.
"Aww They're kinda cute"
"No they're not! They're scaley little rats"
Sofia and her wife argued ligtheartedly while Gremlins played on the TV. You paid them little mind,too invested in adorable Gizmo's fate during the movie.
"Can y'all dig it? We can dig it! ... Whoomp, there it is! Whoomp, there it is!" Your phone rang,earning a bunch of shushes and some popcorn being thrown in your direction which made you both laugh and roll your eyes.
You got up and saw the caller ID. Calling: Ryland Grace. Why was your colleague calling you so late? You had half the mind to just ignore him but you had a feeling that this was urgent. So you answered. "Hello?"
His voice was serious. He wasted no time with greetings or small talk. "I have a huge favour to ask you"
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Would anyone be interested in a platonic fanfic of arograce and aro reader having a marriage of convenience to prevent him going to project hail mary but low key they become best friends who live together? 🤔 (Also yes this is inspired by that one aroace kdrama I can't remember the name of. If someone remembers please feel free to comment the name)

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Grace Teacher headcanons
A/N: this is kind of just my take on the kind of teacher I think he'd be
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*He loves ragebaiting his students in the most harmless ways. He will use modern slang just to watch them groan at how "uncool" it is to hear your teacher say "rizz" or "slay"
About two years ago a boy in his eighth grade class explained to him what "do it for the plot" means and since then he's had "Do your homework for the plot" written messily in red marker at the top right corner of his whiteboard.
*Grace wasn't exactly all that popular back in his school days. Sure he wasn't miserably bullied,his quick wit helped him stay in the good side of the popular kids, but he knows what it feels like to be different. That said he's very strict about anti-bullying and discrimination within his classroom. He doesn't believe in the "it's just a joke" logic. If it makes a marginalized student uncomfortable he won't tolerate it.
*Sometimes during break time he'll leave his door open for students so they have a place to eat their lunch if they are particularly having trouble making friends.
*He is ancient in his students eyes and he doesn't understand everything when it comes to queerness or mental health especially. But Grace always tries to keep an open mind.
For example if a student comes up to him to let him know they're trans he might not entirely get it but he always makes a point to try his hardest to call them by their preferred name and pronouns.
*He loves making his lessons interactive so you bet if you're caught sleeping in class he will ask you to help out with a demonstrative experiment or worse you will become his designated person he will be asking questions during class. This dreaded fate is why he hasn't had many learners dare take a snooze in his classroom.
*He's a sucker for gossip and although he tries not to show it he will always conveniently have no interest in grading papers when Kate starts talking about her boyfriend and how she's "so over him"
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Judas
Grace x male!reader
A/N: Please note that this fanfic is based off of a mishmash of the movie and the book. Not everything is going to be accurate either
Trigger warning: American slander (/hj)
Tags: mlm,sci-fi,doomed yaoi,fluff,comedy,two middle aged nerds in love,slowburn
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Blinding lights penetrated through your vision and intruded your mind,leaving a terrible headache in it's wake.
"What is two plus two?"
You tried to move but you found your body quite frozen. Keeping your eyes open was a heavy battle that you weren't quite sure you'd win.
"Argh" you put all your effort into crying for help. Not that the presence of a person would magically make your limbs respond though.
"Incorrect"
In your peripheral vision you managed to see what looked to be tubes on your left and to your right...just more tubes? Were you injured or sick somehow?
"Raised heart rate detected"
In the silence you found your answers. You were a pilot. Your mind is a bit slow from six years of slumber but you remember being fitted for your orange suit,the long discussions and training and most importantly you remember that blonde scientist explain the process of astrophage and the risks of this mission.
Wasn't he sent on the ship as well? Footsteps clanked on the faint distance.
You aren't sure if it was the engineer or that silly American but you hoped to lord that it was the former.
"What is two plus two?"
"Aphm" you tried to call louder but your voice sounded so small to your ears,maybe due to lack of years from speaking.
"Incorrect" the annoyingly cold voice of Miss Robot arms droned on.
The more your attempts at movement failed the increasingly more scared you became. You knew what you signed up for but that didn't make the concept of being so helpless any less terrifying.
"Heart rate abnormal. Initiating protocol"
Initiatong protocol? The hell does that mean? Stratt failed to mention this part. You noticed too late the needle prick your skin and a serum burn through your veins that made you feel impeccably calm.
Don't! You tried to call out but your eyes fell shut and your battle for consciousness was lost to Miss Robot arms.
~~~~~~~~~~
You woke to the sound of heavy footsteps. It wasn't distant this time. It was loud and clumsy.
You attempted to open your eyes but this time your body was stubbornly resisting even a command so small as that.
You felt the uncomfortable sting of tubes being removed. Gone was IV's and masks attached to a tube running down your esophagus. You tried to open your mouth but your entire body felt like it had been turned into stone. Too stubborn to even respond to the sheer discomfort and pain you felt towards what you assumed must be the catheter being removed from your urethra.
"Mission obstructed. Mission obstructed. Alert,alert!"
"I know you tried your best Armando" You heard the familiar voice reassure Miss arms as she protested to the tubes being removed.
You tried your best? What is that supposed to mean?
Your skin felt warm and you heard shuffling. It felt like a fabric of some kind. Was this man dressing you?
Then you heard your name fall from what you now recognised as Grace's lips. "You were a very adventurous person. I still owe you three bags of vodka. You were both clearly very brave and well loved"
You felt something smooth being placed in your arms. Photographs perhaps?
"You both deserve so much better than this. I hope I can make you proud and uh yeah I'll do my best"
That's when it hit you. This idiot thought you were dead. This was a burial.
No no no this was bad. This was very bad. Why are these damned Americans so stupid?!
You willed your body to move to blink to do anything. Finally your eyes opened with much effort.
You saw Grace carrying your body with a solemn expression that turned into shock and felt the wind knocked out of you as your body hit the floor. A high pitched shriek harassed your ears.
"Oh my god! Zombies!"
You rolled your eyes and used your last bit of strength to kick the man's shins before he could run. It would allow you both time to compose yourselves.
A moment of silence passed and with much effort you managed to get two words out. "Not...de...ad..."
"Oh" Grace managed to calm after hearing that confirmation that you indeed were not going to eat his brains. Lord knows you'd starve if that was your main source of nourishment.
The man rose to his feet and pushed imaginary dust off his orange suit.
"Well I'm sorry about that. You weren't responding so I thought you were uh...you know" he offered a hand that you were contemplating taking but frankly your body felt too heavy to raise by yourself.
This dumb fuck. You wanted to scold him for not checking your pulse like a sensible person but every movement, including speaking, was a taxing task as of right now.
"I'm Grace by the way"
"I know" For a moment the introduction seemed ridiculous to you but then you remembered the very important detail of the induced retrograde amnesia. Stratt gave strict instructions that you and Mr. Yao should never discuss the last year before the mission. It was too risky.
"You do? Did we meet beforehand- or something? I'm sorry I don't remember much"
You decided to shake your head and lie. Your hand pointed to the embroidered name tag on Ryland's orange suit. It was a royal blue that had the word Grace embroidered on it in big golden letters. The golden thread a morbid reminder that neither of you were going back to earth alive.
The American scientist looked down at the patch and an embarrassed smile creeped its way onto his features. "Right,right. Well it's nice to see another person"
Your eyes scanned the ship and you only now noticed the absolute trashed state it was in. Geez.
"What happened?" You gestured to the mess which only seemed to make the man's face grow redder.
"Ah my bad I wasn't expecting company" he rubbed the back of his neck in a futile attempt to soothe his shame but it quickly disappeared when he remembered something.
"Oh I actually have some exciting news. I met an alien"
"An alien?"
"Yeah" Grace moved swiftly to his main workstation that held a laptop duct taped to whatever else. "I'm currently at 215 words but we're getting there with the communication. At first I thought he might be trying to kill me or something but he's actually very polite. I'll introduce you guys sometime"
It was at that moment that you realised while you were slumbering peacefully no progress in the mission was made. Or so you thought.
Just then you heard a loud noise that suddenly made you curse yourself for not waking up sooner.
Or atleast for not pushing harder for the concept of shields. But Stratt was convinced there would be no angry aliens in space. If only you could send her a very strongly worded email at this point. "I was right. You were wrong. Thanks now we're all dead"
"Rocky"
"Hello Grace"
The robotic voice that was distinctly different from Miss Robot Arms made you lose your internal monologue of your imaginary email.
With unsteady balance you peeled from behind Ryland at what appears to be a giant rock spider in a glass looking sphere. It was certainly not what you expected Grace's alien friend to look like.
"The fuck??"
"Who that,question?"
Grace looked behind him,not even attempting to fix his crooked glasses. Everything was a lot to process right now for the poor man.
"This is a friend of mine. It's a long story actually- why are you in a ball?"
"So Rocky no die in Grace atmosphere. Rocky come up"
You practically fused with the wall with how quickly you tried to distance yourself from this strange creature that seemed oddly friendly.
"Hello Grace friend" Rocky stopped right at your feet and now at further inspection he seemed to be quite small. Still terrifyingly similar to a spider but small.
"Rocky you can't just come in here unannounced"
"Rocky and Grace work together. Save earth and Erid" Rocky's ball moved faster than the speed of light.
"Dirty,dirty. Why so messy?"
"Well I wasn't expecting company!"
The sight was rather amusing. After a long while of trying to run after the chaotic rock gremlin Grace pulled the only tool he had left under his belt
"Rocky- Rocky my hand is up"
And surprisingly for a short moment the chaos had subsided.
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