: You Are My Eye

I’m a very lonely person due to growing up alone (woah, profound). I did not have many friends as a child and despite having friends now, I have been trained through many social cues throughout the years to feel that I’m not wanted nor accepted anywhere. It’s hard for that to go away. The idea of not only having a ghost friend all to myself that no one else can take away, but also for that ghost friend to know my every feeling, thought and intent, and still to stay around me is intoxicating. And, this ghost is also around me all the time due to supernaturally induced forced proximity. It’s an instant cure for particularly lonely nights where I wish someone was awake to distract me. And I cannot possibly ruin it through my own doing (fear and repression perverts into resentment), running away from him or exploding until he runs away himself would be futile and I would also be properly punished through nausea/vomiting and passing out. I also like the sense of direction it would give me to fulfill his desires. I feel a lot like I’m wasting time waiting for something to happen. Having a purpose and being gently yet firmly guided into a destiny would definitely help with that.

Now for himself (not just about the benefits of the concept of ghost-friend possession). I like his long hair in particular and somewhat feminine appearance. Androgyny is highly attractive to me. Even if technically not possible, maybe just the idea of running my fingers through his hair or brushing it would suffice. His huge sleeves are just too adorable and I want to kiss him 3 times over whenever he hides his mouth behind them! He also carries himself so elegantly, which is natural considering he’s a noble. His piercings, long fingers, pale yellow fan, ancient clothing, beautiful strong eyes… they all command u to admire him! That’s not even touching his Go skills that are superior and truly impressive, strengthened over 1000 years. He passed on all this knowledge to his vessel in such a beautiful manner, it truly felt like a long ceremony of great magnitude watching him over a couple years create a go player of the generation. Like a god forming its prophet. I want to give him so much praise and lots of offerings at some sort of shrine, u know? I want to show my devotion to someone so clearly worth idolizing. And yet he has another side that coexists with and breaks the illusion simultaneously. He is childish in that he is legitimately fascinated by the entire world and by everything related to his favorite thing much in the way a child would be, and childish in that he pouts and cries like one. It’s funny and adorable and feels like really seeing him in his entire open form. He seems so untouchably beautiful and ancient and yet he is also so approachable and lovable in a strange way. I would love to take him to see the entire world as I fly around for tournaments or even just for vacation. It would make him very happy I bet to see so many new places and things! The world is much bigger than he thought! To satisfy his curiosity and make him happy would make me happy too. Seeing that I made him feel that way would make me happy. He makes me happy at the moment. Just to imagine him running around my house like an excited puppy, blabbing on and on about the magic box people, cheering me on as I crush opponents by day, and then watching him fascinate and charm the NetGo world by night. And then on the loneliest days being someone to hold onto and help me keep walking, as we hand in hand find the Hand of God together. Just these scenarios are enough to make my heart happy. It patches me up, and keeps me going. He’s truly wonderful.

A sketch of my wife below for ur troubles. Thanks for letting me talk lol