ITEM MISSING: Mind

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.

the sewing machine is a delicate breed of horse

update: i’ve made it through the user manual and have sewn myself a cravat. the sewing machine is a delicate breed of horse with anger in its motion and spite in its heart.

I just thought of a horse with a bobbin and physically shuddered.

please stop this looks like a real tumblr ad

I literally didn't question it until I read the post. I was just about to be happy the tumblr shitpost ad ecosystem was beginning to heal.

Tumblr i miss ads like these. I need ads like these back and not the ai fried egg titties or the ai chat bot "no really our bot will totally fuck you unlike other ai bots" ads. I miss the purity of how truly weird the ads were.

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

i need all the help i can get for finals

I could use some luck

God fucking damn it

when he's right he's right

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

making the radical claim "11 year old children should be taught how to make extremely simple food" has resulted in people making arguments like "I wasnt allowed to plug in electronics until I was 16 and I think this is super normal actually" and "children dont know what ratios are so its unfair to expect them to be able to comprehend the idea of adding equal amounts rice and water to a rice cooker" and I gotta say originally I thought maybe I was being too judgy but now I feel very secure in my opinion because what the fuck

Children might not know what ratios are in the sense of 1:1 notation, but they are more than capable of understanding 'you have to use the same amount of water and rice otherwise it goes wrong'.

In addition to this, cooking is an excellent way to teach children scaling and ratio in Real Life.

"Children don't understand-" AND THAT'S WHY IT IS YOUR JOB TO TEACH THEM????? LIKE HELLO??? THEY CAN LEARN??????

the only place that 'i suffered and because i suffered so should you' belongs is when you see something diabolical or emotionally devastating on the internet so naturally youve gotta call up your best friends

may I respectfully add: "This is awful; try it!" *holds out a food or beverage*

Stop just asking "is it normal?" and start asking "is it harming anyone?" Lots of harmful things are normalized in this society and lots of things considered weird or rare are completely harmless. Whether something is considered normal or common shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether it's okay

Like a lot of disabled and neurodivergent and mentally ill ways of living and expressing yourself are both not normal and not harming anyone and it's the last part we should focus our attention on

He’s casting a spell 🫧