Dostoyevsky's Idiot

[1] No, its Missouri       that hates company. [2] Self isolation means always       smartest in the room. [3] Even the smoke alarm       is cheering you on. [4] Better never       than late. [5] It might be opportunity       rather than bailiffs.

Dear Patron, We regret to inform you that next month The Museum of Human Achievement will be closing its doors for the final time. As you might be aware, after an unsuccessful bid to secure funding the site has been sold to and will now fall under The Museum for Human Progress Syndicate Group for the foreseeable future. At this time, we would like to thank all of our patrons and announce that our new project 'The Pop-Up Shop of Regretful Endurance' will be coming to a street corner near you. Yours sincerely, Acting Director - Human Resources

[1] Mothers Womb       really is my       previous address. [2] I mainly mind       my mind’s full       being mindful. [3] Weaknesses also       include being sheepish       in front of goats. [4] I prefer CDO       to OCD for       alphabetical reasons.

1. What is the worst letter       of the alphabet?       a) B       b) C       C) A 2. What type of questions       do you prefer?       a) Multiple choice       b) Rhetorical       c) Multiple choice 3. Have you ever       experienced deja vu?       a) No       b) No       c) Yes 4. What does a red stone thrown       into a blue sea become?       a) Symbolic       b) Magic       c) Wet

53. One through Fifty-Two       were a       grave mistake. 54. After the storm       comes the       insurance claim. 55. Halloween is just       Christmas       for nightmares. 56. Water metaphors       don’t always go       down well. 57. I left       because nothing       went right.

[1] As your own lawyer       you are never       out of work. [2] The hill gets       only steeper       if lying down. [3] Never assume       others don’t       make presumptions. [4] True wisdom       is never       written down.

[1] Going round in circles       is not reinventing       the wheel. [2] The gardening       metaphors need       weeding out. [3] Always avoid       adopting aliteration       ad nauseam. [4] Mixed metaphors       are a can of worms       in sheep’s clothing. [5] Ends abruptly.

[1] Your inner demon       moves out. [2] Being unable picture       an imagination barrier. [3] Drinking to forget       you drink to forget. [4] Not talking to yourself       because you’re scared of him. [5] The future calls       demanding a refund.

[1] Don’t judge       a book by       its press release. [2] Abscess makes       the heart       go flounder. [3] Don’t put off until tomorrow       the time machine       you can build today. [4] Absolute       statements corrupts       absolutely. [5] Sugar never truly       hides the lemon,       or the bodies.

[1] Being part       of the audience       for best newcomer. [2] Runner up       as an honourable       mention. [3] Fourth place for       use of repetition       for four years running. [4] Vomiting       alphabet spagetti       at a spelling bee.

[1] Air is the       still-moving       ghost wind. [2] With new boots       over old ground       great feats made. [3] Time is the fire       upon your       marshmallow life. [4] Actually,       the horse led me       to water.

[1] Best of luck       in this       volatile economy. [2] The majority of us       are sorry       to see you go. [3] Congratulations       if the baby       was planned. [4] May your new home       be better than prison. [5] Toilets get       engaged too.

[1] The once       and future king. [2] Even my therapist       left me. [3] Sweating is just       liquid confidence. [4] I will break       you first. [5] My lawyers details       are overleaf.

[1] That I lived it up       is something       I can’t live down. [2] The bridges I burned       did not light       the way. [3] All these atheists       can go       to hell. [4] I eat oranges       whenever I’m       feeling blue.

[1] I have only a 2%       attendance record       with the Antisocial       Social Club. [2] One does not       always find       safety in numbers. [3] 668 is       the neighbour       of the beast. [4] Maths is       as easy       as pie.

[1] Please see       page one       for callback. [2] I really hit       my stride       in the sequel. [3] Everybody,       including the dog,       died. [4] My editor       was on       holiday.

[1] Bad analogies       are like       a rainbow. [2] Knocking the tops       off mountains       only fills in       the valleys. [3] Style is not       a mistake       repeated. [4] Mistakes       repeated       are a style not. [5] I verbed the nouns       all over       my cliché.