A JOURNEY WORTH THE PAIN

The mirror greets me with an image.

I see my curves, thighs and waist.

I grab onto them and slowly stroke myself down.

I feel every inch of my skin slowly between my fingertips.

I feel for the ridges between my moles laid strategically.

Every bump knacks a giggle.

Memories explode.

Smiles brighten up.

A slight bated breath escapes my lip.

Tongue reaches the edge of my bottom lip.

As I take a bite into my soft mouth piece cover.

My neck slides slightly left.

I slowly slide my fingertips between my neck and back.

And imagine kisses so pure and heated.

I imagine the texture of your face between my shoulder and spine.

When you used to enjoy my scent.

I feel towards my thigh and hips again.

And imagine you standing there behind me,

Rubbing on the edges of my skin, while panting slowly.

Where your heated thoughts bring you closer to the front of my waist.

As I place my fingertips between my thighs.

I imagine a slight slip of my lace laying off.

with every moment felt between my skin.

A sense of heated sparks leave.

Fueled by the memory of a person who once was.

A memory of my alpha streak broken.

A mixture of hot flushes and sweaty pulses.

Vibrations escape.

Tingles felt.

Touches craved.

Pictures relived.

Yet my idea of you is lost.

I hoist myself farther towards my breasts.

To bring me closer to an edge I crave.

To heal the burning want to have it all, all over again.

I come to realize my mind plays vital portions.

I push myself lower towards the floor.

I let my eyes roll back.

I feel my eyelids meet.

I try again.

I try run my fingers.

Between the edges of my skin.

I take care.

Careful care to notice that I need YOUR being.

A new world emerged for me.

One I could never put into words.

Where words like crazy, delusional and lost are spoken.

A brand new world.

Where one does not seem to fit.

It made sense before it was exposed.

But now?

It feels a bit obscene.

One roams in the darkness during the bright light.

And cravings become unmeasured.

A sense of belonging or being.

A place to seek comfort.

Within the normal -

Your indifference sticks out.

As to a stain with a drenched scent.

It pains the heart realizing you suffer alone.

Even in the uniformity of company you remain enclosed.

The depth of understanding remains a myth.

A lost soul with a cause.

The world is not really accepting of my capabilities.

And through that there is no opportunity for refuge.

A REBEL WITH A REVOLUTIONARY PLIGHT.

Your inner fire burns at the realm of healing.

And through my gift.

The word shall listen.

It shan’t turn my being away from my destiny.

A beautiful faith love story.

Written by the fate before me many moons ago.

Yet, it still felt surreal.

Until I lost it all.

Within that era -

A fearful soul was born.

One scared dearly.

Never about the mistreatment.

But that of being misunderstood.

Not lead by the breath of destiny.

But that of bad decisions and fear of actions.

A few calculated risks.

A few stolen pricks.

A breath of new bravado ripened. 

In that moment -

A new soul.

Within the coldness of the world.

A shelter was formed.

Beyond my wildest imagination.

I finally smelled the freedom.

One due to me.

A feeling I hadn’t sensed in a while.

And here, I was introduced.

To the beginning of a curtain call.

Where capabilities play center stage.

To no rehearsal or costume practice.

The light shines brightly onto you.

In that moment - your gift roars.

Center stage.

Where you are the main attraction.

I take on a new leap into a world that was once old.

Here, power reigns supreme.

A beginning peak into a new realm.

Unbeknownst to the eye.

My fight remains internal.

Within my shaken spirit, my being is recollected.

My soul?

Replenished.

My heart?

Still to know. . . . .