I am the universe, and I am dying.

I'll be the first to tell you, That sleep fixes everything But that was before I realized That sleep doesn't cure the demons in our minds Or the ghosts that hide in the walls, And crawl into your ears, Plaguing your sleep And sleep doesn't fix restless nights Or the stresses of school Or the pressures from society Sleep won't mend a broken heart Or a trapped soul So maybe sleep can't cure the broken youth But neither can the drugs or alcohol, That swim in our guts Sleep can't fix everything, But it can make you forget for awhile, Giving you the room you needed to breathe" -(c.e.m.) 'the broken youth'

They ask me about you What good you do for me Why it's worth it. Why I would hurt myself like that They wouldn't understand though Not unless they had spent every night gasping for a breath Screaming for release. Not unless they had spend every night alone fighting for a reason to live A reason not to take that blade and rip it across your skin. To bleed your feelings out. To feel something Because no one ever told us how bad feeling dead inside is And no one ever told us about the gut wrenching loneliness and how it steals your innocence and rips your will to live right out from under your finger tips. And no one every told us about how addicting tearing apart you skin is No one ever told us that weren't alone. That there were other ways to feel alive. No one ever warned us of the demons and monsters that crawl inside our minds, screaming our deepest fears at us. Waiting until we're alone to destroy us bit by bit. And no one ever told us that no one would ever understand -(c.e.m.) 'what do I tell them when they ask about my scars?'

They warned me you were bad I never listened I was young, naive and in love They warned me about you God, I should have listened You manipulate, you corrupt, you ruin You're like an unknown allergy You strike unpredictably You paralyze, you kill You're the boy they write stories about You're the boy who doesn't take no for an answer You're the boy who doesn't stop when asked You're the boy who pinned me down, told me I wanted it You're the boy who stole my innocence The boy who killed my mind, ingrained self-hate You're the boy that made me want to die. -(c.e.m.) "boys like you"

Dear best friend, Stop pulling your skin back to see what you're made of Look for the answers in the way the breeze ruffles your hair and how the sun feels against your skin You are the voice I search for in a crowded room The boy who's music gives me faith in humanity and leaves me speechless all at once Search for the answers in constellations that scorch the night sky Brightening the path to your future You're lost and confused  But you're only 17 You won't be lost forever Look for the answers in your friends and know that you'll never be alone Every human is a walking contradiction Some hide it better than others Embrace the side of you that's lost The side that's confused And search for the answers in summer nights That you stayed up too late, laughing with friends Search for the answer in places that sunshine illuminates every dark part in your heart and find yourself "DMK3"// c.e.m.

"My kindergarten teacher taught me always to share my toys And to be nice to all the kids Even if they smell a little funny But she didn't tell me how to fix a heart after breaking it She didn't tell me how to pick up the pieces after shattering someone's world She didn't tell me about the broken look they'll get in their eyes and the heart break resonating in their voice She never told me it would rip me apart from the insides out, She never told me it would make me want to die She never told me that 'I'm sorry's didn't fix things completely, Even if they're said a thousand times over, And that sometimes even the strongest super glue can't hold together all the shattered pieces of his heart again She never told me that some actions you can't take back No matter how hard you try No matter how hard you pray I could promise a million promises But I'll only promise one: I'll mend your broken pieces if you give me the chance, I'll fix every crack in your ribs, And illuminate the scariest places of your mind I'll hold your hand through the night And be your 4 am phone call when night terrors plague your sleep I'll be everything I couldn't be I'll be the girl who broke your heart And managed to put it back together again" -(c.e.m.) 'Four-leaf Clover'

"I never thought I could feel as alone as I did when my life was falling apart But I'm better now, or so they tell me Yet this soul crushing, heart wrenching loneliness squeezes my body until I can't think I can't breathe. It's in the way all my friends talk about their significant others and I can't even touch your face It's in the way they get phones calls telling them they love them and revel in their greatest achievements, And I can't even hear your voice. I never thought I could feel so alone until I met you." -(c.e.m.) 'six hours, two states, two hearts'