Dr. Sax's Book of Dreams

I did not venture out I did not leave the house I did not shop Until I dropped I do not like green shopping bags at the mall I do not like them, not at all.

So with some Merry Christmas Glee The news provides me with some poetry.

Out on the asphalt The consumers paused Out jumped the clerks at all the malls Opening doors for all the toys Christmas shopping -- deals of joy.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Why would you go? Ho! Ho! Ho! Why would you go? At 6 am in the morning To Wal-Mart's Lot This is madness It must, must stop. Down fall the prices Quick, Quick Quick Better be early So you can play St. Nick.

Down through the aisles The consumers trampled Not even time for A Pepperidge Farm sample

DVD players only 29 bucks with tax Led to some horrific physical attacks A little old lady not so quick Fell down amidst the stampede A victim of consumerism, materialism and greed. Bumped and bruised into unconsciousness The lady she had stumbled Yet out of her mouth she managed to mumble -- I may be unconscious I may be near death And I'll need CPR on my chest But I've go this damn DVD player Clutched to my breast Her unconscious fingers one by one from the box They had to pry away So Walmart  graciously put the DVD On lay-away While singing the praises of mass media Loads of free advertising from all the hysteria

The mosh pit of buyers All clutching ad  flyers. Extract some Collateral Damage To fill every Christmas Package A fist fights erupted in the local Mall The ironically named Care Bears the cause of a brawl Love-a-Lot Bear had two women in fisticuffs Pink heart, red blood and leaving in hand cuffs To think that Tenderheart Bear could cause an assault and battery How much could  pastel fabric and stuffing matter to ya?

Weapons of Mass Consumerism: 20%, 30%, 40%, Half off Turn your head and Cough On Sale, Free with Purchase You can Kiss my Marketing Ass Make you think you save a buck Just a deceptive head fuck

The Buddhists say that Attachment causes you to suffer So Christmas consumerism can only make a Buddhist's life rougher Those wise men gave their gifts of frankincense and myrrh And on their credit cards the debt they did incur Whips and chains of financial bondage for the Sado-masochistic shopper But is Corporate America who stays on Top of Her So yes the purchase with your Visa is priceless Making the precious minutes of your life-less The Master Card is your Master At 21% interest death comes a little faster Life has left you a lot to Discover But from this debt you'll never Recover So in the fast lane of this American Express Under the feet of greed you will be pressed. The saddest thing of all Was the $29.00 DVD Player That nearly slayed her Sealed her fate, But It costs $95.00 Until the rebate And by the time she got out of the hospital The expiration date had passed So Wal-mart tore open her wallet And took the rest of her cash.

You may think the prices keep dropping But the profits keep rising The shareholders are happy The shoppers are sappy

Every day we die a little And move a day closer To the finale When no escape is possible and memory has no afterlife.

Except in the moment When your breath changes Your face flushes And the little death Possesses you like a demon. A demon that   Tells you That the closest you can come To immortality Is when your body forces forgetfulness Of The one eventual reality By replacing The reality with the ecstatic.

He put his hand On her ass While I fucked her.

Two women's mouths 

+

One Cock 

=

I. I lost my virginity

To her On the first day of spring In the afternoon sun.

II. Twelve years later

She told me to move On a gray fall day And I lost my innocence.

III. The only person’s virginity I ever took

Was mine.

IV. I was the first person

To fuck her in the ass Though.

V. Why did the first girl

Who took off her shirt for me Have such weird boobs?

VI. Is six people enough

To Break Your Orgy Cherry?

VII. What haven’t you done yet

That you want to do? Break  the hymens you have yet to experience.

(for sexual bliss)

I.  Thou shalt have no other sex gods before me.  

(This God likes to be first at the orgy)

II.  Thou shalt not take unto thee any graven images.

(Basically no dildos until after I come.)

III.  Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

(No faking orgasms, perfectly fine when you are really orgasming.)

IV.  Remember the sabbath day and keep at the holies

(Sunday is all about filling all the holies.)

V.  Honor thy father and mother

(By emulating how they brought you into the world -- fuckers that they were)

VI. Thou shalt not murder.

(Well, yeah, you shouldn't do that.)

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Ooops.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal furtive glances.

(Just stare.)

IX.  Thou shalt not bear false witness.

(It is easy enough to get laid simply by telling the truth.)

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife --

(You should just take her when he isn’t home, unless of course he likes to watch.)

Commandments too hard?

                                                                                  The Right The Left                                                                                   Back and Forth                                                                                   Proving Contraries                                                                                   With Violence.

Faiku form is fun. Hashtag your post as faiku And for the most part Tumblr will ignore you Tumblr saves it resources. Search and you won’t find.

The votes are all cast The man with the orange hair Has won the election.  What do we do now? The people who like to pray Were supporting him.

Apparently Jack Kerouac also experimented with a spontaneous prose version of the inverted faiku tercet.