Poems2Myself

What in the world are you?

How have I fallen so fast..

Those star eyes..

I could get lost in them for hours, days, weeks, months, years...

Your touches are drugs in my veins, lighting me up inside..

I want to roll in your love, your lust... like sunlight spilling onto an open field.

Touch me, continue to touch me.. keep me as yours.. keep me in your heart.. don't let me go.. don't give up on me.. don't think I'm too much or too fat.. just keep me. Please.

Your eyes glitter like tiny stars

A mix of blue, green and hazel

A magical mix

A magic man with magic hands and magic kisses

Linking our bodies feels so natural

Your touch is like fire on my skin

I want more of you

I want all of you

Let me be yours

Let me feel those hands on me

Kiss, bite, spank me..

I want it all

I want to experience and explore a world I am not familiar with

I want to feel

I want to moan

I want to be naturally myself

I feel like I have been deprived for so long

And I am just bursting at the seams

Let me be

I'm in the way.

I take up too much space.

I'm the problem.

Keep that in..

Don't let them see..

You laughed too loud..

They can hear you breathing...

That's too many messages... just wait until they reply...

They're going to think your too much...

They've seen you now, they know who you are..

You offended them with that joke...

That's why they stopped talking to you..

Thats right, bend and break until you fit their picture...

The eyes keep watching... did you eat more than you should... do you smell... or have bad breath...

I'm uncomfortable in my own skin...

Am I holding out hope for something I am never going to get?

Should I just settle for the mundane?

Why am I beating myself up so much when I am not even ready for someone else to love me right now...

Is there a way forward for me?

To feel love, to feel like someone can set my heart on fire?

To not be the flame all the damn time...

Keeping everything ignited..

Will someone be my flame?

Do you want to see aggression?

Because I guarantee you, I'm not it...

Do you hear the way you speak to me?

Because you sound condescending...

Do you not see anything wrong with this picture?

Am I your maid? Am I your equal?

Do you know what an equal is?

Oh no that's right, you call it a balance.. and the balance looks like me doing everything and organizing everything...

Right, I see you now..

I want a different body

With different limbs

This skin is not my own

It doesn't feel like home

Your words have now become an insecurity of mine

Scared to lose this body but also scared to keep it...

Stuck in this limbo again

Is this what you want? Me to stay stagnant?

I exhaust myself..

Give me someone who rides motorbikes. So I can be their backpack.

A backpack who cuddles and kisses them.

And then they take me home and treat me like a little princess - fucking me slowly and passionately.

Making me cum over and over again.

Yes, I'll be you're backpack.

I crave so much to be understood and matched..

I want to feel like a dirty little princess and a little soft teddy bear.

Is that so wrong? But could you return that too me? Be my tough man, but then a cuddle monster when I need it.

I don't know what I want, but I know I want effort.. effort to get to know me, ask me questions, what's my favourite colour, what do I dream of...

Ask me those deep questions, be interested in me, because I'm interested in you.

Just like that.

Like a snap of the fingers.

Like the last six years just vanished.

How strange this feels..

To be back in a place I never thought I'd be.

How do I start again?

How do we do this together and separate..

From lovers to strangers to friends.

Older. Wiser.

Maybe I just like to play with my food...

That means you're the food, by the way.

Are you flirting with me? Maybe I'll flirt back?

I imagined you pinning me against my car and softly kissing me.. your hand caressing my cheek, then slowly moving to my neck and pulling me deeper.

Do you want to kiss me too?

Someone would drop everything for me.. love like I love..

It's in the way you say things..

The way there's one rule for you and two for me.

I get confused thinking no it's me, making you out to be the bad guy..

But sometimes I feel like I'm right! RIGHT?!?

Thanks for giving me a voice, six years into our relationship..

Maybe I shouldn't have started dating you? Maybe we were just meant to be friends.

We got too comfortable, and that feels sad. I don't want to hate you. I don't want to feel like either of us did something wrong..

Maybe we should just be friends?

No one has your back..

You can't rely on anyone..

Only you have your back fully..

Trusting others is hard, so it's better to keep to yourself..

You're alone, no matter who you have around you..

You have you.. and that's more than enough..