Pocket Goomy

Finally finished 😭 Timelapse at the bottom! I had an idea for my Wings of Pages series, where instead of text, it's a book full of botanical illustrations. The majority of the time was spent on the individual flowers for each feather/page of the wings. I really love the look of old botanical books with the water color paintings and the scientific names written in cursive. So I spent way too many hours painting out 20 of these flower pages, and even then, it wasn't enough for the wings so I did have to duplicate some.

Here are the 20 flowers! The HD image of Atlas Botanicus, and all 20 HD flower studies without watermark will be DMed on Patreon.com/Yuumei on May 5th, along with the hours long video recording of how I painted everything.

He's doing. his best.

She was super cool, really interesting and pretty and I liked her a lot and she was into weird, unusual stories and films and games, and that kind of drew me in, and then inside the relationship she kind of disappeared. I'm a big girl, I'm enthusiastic and forthright and I hit on people I like and I tend to take action, and I think those were the things she liked about me?

In the relationship it turned into "what do YOU want to do?" I found it hard to grasp what her preferences were; like she would always find out what I wanted and then we'd do that, but that wasn't fulfilling and it didn't connect us. Maybe it's a middle kid thing, but I suspect it's not- I don't need to get my way all the time. Sometimes we SHOULD do what you want to do. You can't lie down and go "well your preferences are stronger so we'll do what you want" because, and I say this from experience, it drowns the connection between the two of you.

What's the difference between these conversations:

"hey, what do you want for lunch?"

"I was thinking sandwiches, but I'm not super bothered. You?"

"I think I could really go for Chinese. Is that cool with you?"

"yeah, sure!

And

"hey, I was thinking Chinese for lunch, I got a hankering. Is that cool with you?"

"I had sandwiches in mind but Chinese sounds great!"

... there's no real difference. The same information gets shared both times. The Chinese-desirer knows that the sandwich-desirer had a soft preference for sandwiches each time, and that this time they're getting their own preference. The bad thing is this:

"hey, I was thinking Chinese for lunch, I got a hankering. Is that cool with you?"

"yeah, sure!" (unspoken: they clearly want Chinese more than I want sandwiches)

Where desires are not communicated even when they're soft.