Ut abici

in a way, she'd think to herself how awkwardly endearing he was — the kind of appeal a sad, abandoned puppy at the pound carried in its disposition. who knows what would have happened to him had she not been there to intervene, stepping in betwixt newfound ally and aggravator that only steps up to the plate when the night leeches all light from the day. this action will have consequences, herein reference only to subsequent and inadvertent adoption of said puppy. not of her volition so much as puppy following her back from the pound / lingering beneath blaring blanched lights of the convenience store as her shift finished off.

"Yes- I know I don't-" Wait! Gyeong-Su, that's egotistical! "I mean- of course I owe you-" Wait! Gyeong-Su, you're ignoring what she's saying! "Well- I just am very grateful! I may not owe you anything, but can't a guy be useful? If you ever need my help, I wouldn't be opposed to it!" Was he being to clingy? The prospect of being around her is exciting - like showing off to the part of himself that's mentally humiliated by his own actions. But humiliation be damned and endorphins be surging, this man can say what he wants in a good natured way. And yes, he may end up curling on his bed, hugging his pillow at 1AM wondering why he did this. But it's all done with good intents - he likes it like that!

❛❛ yeah, but it’s… i dunno. it’s hard for me, for some reason. ❜❜ through no fault of his own, hardly something she wished to put him through the gargantuan task of handling. more importantly, she didn’t want this now to stop. feeling close to him. feeling more human, despite the intentions of the games. softly, she rubs the tip of her nose against his, corner of her lip turning up into a smirk. ❛❛ you’re sweet. but it’s really not a big deal. ❜❜

❛❛ hm ? ❜❜ her voice escapes as a soft mewl, taken aback by the question. it wasn’t the first time she was presented with it — often articulated less thoughtfully and more as acquired evidence for some smarmy bastard’s ego boost — but it was the first time she felt compelled to be honest. ❛❛ well, no, but — that’s fine. ❜❜ no, but that had been a consistent issue for her even beyond that of inattentive sexual partners of months past. never a simple endeavor for her, and thus the projection of her attention and desire elsewhere. she plants a kiss against the top of gyeong-su’s head as punctuation, muttering a lax, ❛❛ seriously, don’t worry about me. ❜❜

❛❛ hah. ❜❜ never intended as condescension. he was too sweet for that. she was just surprised, and that was all. ❛❛ didn’t think you’d do something like that after all the science talk. ❜❜ acting impulsively comes with risk — again, risk that se-mi pays little mind to, but risk nevertheless. that same risk was titillating, doubled by the crowd of unfortunate voyeurs surrounding. ❛❛ is it crazy i kind of wanted you to do that ? ❜❜ stupid and impulsive and selfish. when did she ever get to be those things ? even in the game, watching over min-su as she had been was an act of altruism. in the outside world, she was protecting everyone she could, every single person that had fallen through the cracks. when did she get to be selfish ?

❛❛ that’s good, ❜❜ she says softly, a head-shake away from dispelling the thoughts clogging her mind, ❛❛ go at whatever pace feels comfortable for you. ❜❜ she, in turn, bites into her lip as a weak attempt to contain any and all sound tugged from her while gyeong-su fucked into her. never dramatized nor exaggerated / a far cry from the pitchy moans of a video star. if nothing else, a reminder of their reality, that this is something done onto her just as much as he may feel her warmth envelop him with every thrust inside. any imminent climax is an issue for whenever, exactly, it occurs — no decent place or surface to finish inside or on, and so nature will play out however nature desires. not as though it really matters, not when all she yearns for is to feel close to him.

❛❛ you can keep going, if you want. or we can just stay like this for a minute. i don’t mind. ❜❜ what a simple pleasure she’d never before been privy to; closeness, in this way, with someone worth trusting. at least, whatever trust one could stand to spare while within the games. this was the most vulnerable the two of them could possibly be — se-mi especially, from beneath him — and so what is there left to look to besides trust ? let alone the inherent risk of following through with this unprotected. that would be a problem contingent purely on her survival; contingent on surviving the horrors that awaited her outside the confines of everyone’s joint captivity. needless to say, it resonates as a complete nonissue, and all her focus is instead on her physical proximity to gyeong-su.

"In a good way, huh?" He repeated - slowly, mainly to himself. What did that mean? If he didn't expect anything, he'd be so mad. Nonetheless though, he wouldn't see too into it as he chuckled briefly, lowering his head and pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. Gyeong-Su straightened his back, moving his hands to rest on Se-mi's hips. He looked down at her, giving her a quick look down and up with a grateful gaze before moving a hand hooking his index into her panties and pushing the fabric aside, exposing that intimate area.

Gyeong-Su's breathing hitched, quickly gripping onto Se-mi's hips. He's doing this - he can't believe he's actually doing this, something he never thought he'd ever have the pleasure of doing. But this was when he realized his words fell apart - because...Spit? And stroking it on his penis? No, that's bad - the implications are bad. Lubricant is crucial - he acknowledges that. Yet spit contains enzymes. Enzymes that aren't very good for the vaginal microbiome, and not only that spit dries quickly so it doesn't do much to reduce the friction. He would argue it'd make the friction worse - and the bacteria...Gross! No - he'd rather be able to brush his teeth before even a lick of his tongue would touch her there.

But when there's a will there's a way, and Gyeong-Su would take it in strike - rubbing his hard cock against her, guiding it along her entrance. He gasped and groaned, trying to gather her natural lubricant on his sex organ. It's much smarter to use than spit, therefore not disturbing the natural balance of Se-mi's vagina. It's not necessarily making her wait if it's preparation - always a loophole.

his consideration is weird. foreign, perhaps, moreso than genuine oddity, but never had she seen such thoughtfulness in awkward preamble of pressing into her. it was oft an act far less graceful and more desperate, a chase for abrading against one another for some minute-long bliss. she had her reasons for these endeavors, but all paled compared to gyeong-su. was it a good thing ? the idea of anyone treating her differently — acting differently, really — was terrifying. she could handle nam-gyu’s toxicant-imbued words because that was the way pathetic, weak men acted, talking down on whoever they deemed to be lesser to feel better about themselves. and sex, or at least whatever misguided, encompassing view of it she had, was not like this.

so maybe that was a good thing.

❛❛ hmm… ❜❜ she lets out a soft, fond chuckle, a widening of her eyes to complement her raised brow. ❛❛ and in front of all these people, too ? you really are shameless. ❜❜ tone falls softer, deliberate in how it plays off her words / she is the rational one, who opts to keep her voice quieter / playful, as though there is any high ground to take in her course of actions. she had moaned freely in equal measure, allowed her own volume to flow unrestricted. still, the smirk at her lips elucidates her fondness, fettered by the uninhibited need to squirm beneath his touch at her core.

the words were bold, but it was only a matter of following through, as far as se-mi was concerned. whether or not he could make good on his desires was completely off the table, words drank in purely as fantasy and not an itinerary — he should do as to what makes him comfortable, and not over-exaggeration in sole pursuit of her favor. it hearkens to flat, soft affect in her mind, mental image she was desperate to avoid as her breath hitched and her head tilted back. conjuration is unwelcome — gyeong-su deserves to be thought of now — and a grimace overtakes her expression for a split second. no more. not to go in tandem with the writhing of her form and the candied blush saturating fair skin.

"In a good way, huh?" He repeated - slowly, mainly to himself. What did that mean? If he didn't expect anything, he'd be so mad. Nonetheless though, he wouldn't see too into it as he chuckled briefly, lowering his head and pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. Gyeong-Su straightened his back, moving his hands to rest on Se-mi's hips. He looked down at her, giving her a quick look down and up with a grateful gaze before moving a hand hooking his index into her panties and pushing the fabric aside, exposing that intimate area.

Gyeong-Su's breathing hitched, quickly gripping onto Se-mi's hips. He's doing this - he can't believe he's actually doing this, something he never thought he'd ever have the pleasure of doing. But this was when he realized his words fell apart - because...Spit? And stroking it on his penis? No, that's bad - the implications are bad. Lubricant is crucial - he acknowledges that. Yet spit contains enzymes. Enzymes that aren't very good for the vaginal microbiome, and not only that spit dries quickly so it doesn't do much to reduce the friction. He would argue it'd make the friction worse - and the bacteria...Gross! No - he'd rather be able to brush his teeth before even a lick of his tongue would touch her there.

But when there's a will there's a way, and Gyeong-Su would take it in strike - rubbing his hard cock against her, guiding it along her entrance. He gasped and groaned, trying to gather her natural lubricant on his sex organ. It's much smarter to use than spit, therefore not disturbing the natural balance of Se-mi's vagina. It's not necessarily making her wait if it's preparation - always a loophole.

❛❛ hm ? ❜❜ noise escapes her as a soft hum, slight scrunch of her brow in assessment of how the hell she was to respond to that. again, sweet and well-meaning, nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a minor correction. ❛❛ okay, got it. ❜❜ it comes from a place of concern, and se-mi would never fault him for that. no matter what info was dumped upon her in turn, he was miles better than the vast majority of men she’d been burdened by interacting with. ❛❛ hey, gyeong-su ? ❜❜ her breath, when she could spare it between the increasing thunder of her heartbeat, came in soft pants. ❛❛ what do you want to do to me ? ❜❜ a sincere question, not one impelled by desperate squirming and whimpering, but instead a sort of insatiable curiosity. ❛❛ i want to know what you’re thinking. how bad you want to keep touching me. that kind of thing. ❜❜

anything, anything to get his mind away from more innocent medical faces / and, moreover, the creeping urge to hear someone like gyeong-su say things markedly unchaste. his lack of experience was not a deterrent so much as motivation incarnate, wanting to see what sort of mental imagery a man with only the pallid glow of a cell-phone screen as experience could conjure up. but ——— the way he worked his hands was nice, far better than any bare-minimum expectations she had half-mindedly set. shared heat and sensation thrilled her, adjustments of her hips against the mattress forever seeking more touch and closeness and whatever else she could selfishly pull from this encounter. pleasure made it easy to forget. about their circumstances, and betrayal, and god knows whatever else.

he seems to catch on quick, though, and her breath catches in her throat from the feel of his hand at her chest. then the drag of his tongue was against her. abandoned hand with nothing to stabilize grips the blanket beneath her, twisting fistfuls of the bedspread to stave off her own flourishing desperation. her head tipped back to allow space for the chorus of moans erupting from her, voice breathy and hushed, working up her own neediness with the half-minded bucking of her waist back against gyeong-su. always seeking friction. greedy, like she wasn’t supposed to be. greedy, like what was entirely and wholly her. ❛❛ fuck… good — good boy, gyeong-su. ❜❜ ah, was that what she intended to say ? good job, maybe ? or was it merely an assumption blindly thrown to the wind, seeing if he’d react ? she’d do anything to keep his tongue working against her chest. it doesn’t really matter, does it ?

Having her whimper caught him by surprise. Fuck- he did that. He made her whimper - he didn't know how he did, or if he even deserved to hear such an angelic tone. It wasn't like the over exaggerated whimpers he heard in shitty pornos, when the woman is being teased and practically made to beg. It was sweeter, made his heart race and tremble because Se-mi was so humanized. She wasn't there for his dirty gratification - she was lovely. Caring, she had emotions and Gyeong-Su would do anything to have those emotions stay positive.

"Oh- ah...Uni..." A toothy grin followed. He's not just a now ex Thanos fanboy, but an educated one! And he wants Se-mi to know that he at least has a functioning cerebrum's neocortex and hippocampus, being able to pay attention in class and take the knowledge in. Revision is key, too. Without a doubt, it was a way in which he wanted to impress her for whatever reasons he may conjure up, in hopes she'd pat his head and call him a good boy, even if education is the bare minimum for any human being.

he’s confident enough to move on his own. and move her on his own. se-mi almost cannot believe it — and, had the situation betwixt them not been something so desperately passionate, perhaps she would’ve offered a blunt one-liner to delineate her shock — but she knows better than to look a gift fuck in the… sorry, where exactly was this going ? she lays back, just as gyeong-su moves her, resting her weight on splayed forearms. a damn shame the mattresses were so cheap and lackluster; that would’ve been something really nice, a prime comfort among the unforgiving tribulations of the games. no matter. this would suffice, her and him and the two of them together. she scrunches her face at the sensation of kisses pressed into the skin, more playing up coquetry that was hardly hers to lay claim to. again, uncharacteristic.

they were really doing this, then. the press of his bared cock against her elicits first a shiver, and then a hum forced through grit teeth. maybe she was unaccustomed to the build-up of it all / sex had always been a very objective thing, rough shoving down of whatever garments were in the way for the sole purpose of making the magic happen. herein, the magic was every brush of their skin against one another. se-mi can hardly believe the way she feels, let alone how she was capable of it; a girl that wishes desperately to have hardened herself from the world, an iron aegis from all the world that wishes for her to splinter. not gyeong-su, never gyeong-su.

Gyeong-Su rubbed small circles on her hip with his thumb, too engrossed in his worry fueled thoughts to realize his head had been tilted- no. Tilted alludes to a more rough touch. Tilted seems forced, like he didn't want to be in Se-mi's care. Guided would truly be best. Though he was lost in the moment until his neck got so lovingly given attention. He couldn't help but scream for a brief moment - it surprised him, with wide eyes and a deep inhale. But he would quickly move his occupied hand from her waist to her back, pressing his hand against her back to hold her closer, giving heavy breaths as he trembled. The sensation is too new, but not entirely unwelcomed, even with his whining and whimpering.

He would give a gasp when she gave him a bone and pulled away, feeling the pulsation in that area. His breaths were heavy and ragged, staring at her as if she had done something so unexpected. To him, she did. He had read much about this in spicy fiction - it may be his field of expertise, but the appeal of the rupturing of small blood vessels under the skin was typically lost on him. However, to have it actually happen to him - oh, he gets it.

"Is- ah...This going to leave a mark?" Gyeong-Su knew it would. He didn't know why he said words he already knew the answer to - he was a virgin, but he wasn't that clueless. He quickly shook his head, recoiling in on himself as he desperately stammered out random vowels as to salvage asking such an embarrassing question.

"Thank you, Ms Se-mi!" That's even worse, "I- I hope it lasts! I'm- gonna do you now!" Wording, Gyeong-Su. Whilst he does wanna do her, he wants to return the favor of such a loving gesture. And so he would move his opposing hand to join his other one, gently massaging her back as he leaned forwards, opting to go for the side of her neck once again. He deeply inhaled before exhaling, tracing his lip against the column before finding a good area. There he would graze his teeth against her skin as a forewarning, giving a few kisses before starting to suck. He would start gentle and rhythmically, before giving a slightly more rough suck. Not too hard though. It was like a pattern - kiss, gently suck then be a bit more rough - he would ensure to do this pattern a few times, only indicating he's done with a small nip to the area. He smiled softly, proud of himself for actually doing something like this and not overthinking, worrying about hurting her.

so they would be matching, then. how saccharine. that would really drive in the whetted edge of replacement, walking around with them in the forthcoming days as though they were matching friendship bracelets. how ironic, then, to go through with this beneath the thin gossamer of well-meaning friendship. this is what friends do. ( that is why, in the deep recesses of her rib-cage, she knows it feels different than any entanglement prior, and furthermore why she refuses to dignify it with any meaningful acknowledgement / it is real, real enough for now, and that is all that matters, past the brisk caress of her cognizance daring to dive deep into how she feels. she doesn’t need the burden of emotion in this place. all she needs is touch. right… ? )

Having her whimper caught him by surprise. Fuck- he did that. He made her whimper - he didn't know how he did, or if he even deserved to hear such an angelic tone. It wasn't like the over exaggerated whimpers he heard in shitty pornos, when the woman is being teased and practically made to beg. It was sweeter, made his heart race and tremble because Se-mi was so humanized. She wasn't there for his dirty gratification - she was lovely. Caring, she had emotions and Gyeong-Su would do anything to have those emotions stay positive.

"Oh- ah...Uni..." A toothy grin followed. He's not just a now ex Thanos fanboy, but an educated one! And he wants Se-mi to know that he at least has a functioning cerebrum's neocortex and hippocampus, being able to pay attention in class and take the knowledge in. Revision is key, too. Without a doubt, it was a way in which he wanted to impress her for whatever reasons he may conjure up, in hopes she'd pat his head and call him a good boy, even if education is the bare minimum for any human being.

"Ah- Thanos and Mr Nam-Gyu were cool-" were, "-But I think you're cooler. Why he would choose them over you is beyond me." With how far parasocial goes, Gyeong-Su's attachment to Thanos was at least to thank for him for knowing her. If he wasn't a music fan, it'd be hard to say if he would even speak to her on his own fruition. How would he even be? He mustn't dwell on these what-ifs, not when he felt like it was a jab at him also. He didn't want to go back to those two - if he was so easily discarded by four, then going back would ensure he wouldn't last long in the games. Him living was a miracle, a second chance and he cannot fuck this up.

a soft cluck of her tongue, ❛❛ are you holding back, gyeong-su ? ❜❜ she does not seek transparency. se-mi can see for herself that he is, every drive upward of his hips constrained by some notion of decency. it's not her cup of tea. they are doing this for a reason, engaging in impassioned gyrating for noble purpose, so why skirt around the truth under some thin veneer of decency ? ❛❛ you don't have to do that. seriously. i want to know if you're enjoying yourself. ❜❜ not to mention how the idea of him rutting up against her like a desperate mutt was endearing. titillating, perhaps, seeing how riled up he can get from something as chaste as dry humping.

Gyeong-Su rubbed small circles on her hip with his thumb, too engrossed in his worry fueled thoughts to realize his head had been tilted- no. Tilted alludes to a more rough touch. Tilted seems forced, like he didn't want to be in Se-mi's care. Guided would truly be best. Though he was lost in the moment until his neck got so lovingly given attention. He couldn't help but scream for a brief moment - it surprised him, with wide eyes and a deep inhale. But he would quickly move his occupied hand from her waist to her back, pressing his hand against her back to hold her closer, giving heavy breaths as he trembled. The sensation is too new, but not entirely unwelcomed, even with his whining and whimpering.

He would give a gasp when she gave him a bone and pulled away, feeling the pulsation in that area. His breaths were heavy and ragged, staring at her as if she had done something so unexpected. To him, she did. He had read much about this in spicy fiction - it may be his field of expertise, but the appeal of the rupturing of small blood vessels under the skin was typically lost on him. However, to have it actually happen to him - oh, he gets it.

"Is- ah...This going to leave a mark?" Gyeong-Su knew it would. He didn't know why he said words he already knew the answer to - he was a virgin, but he wasn't that clueless. He quickly shook his head, recoiling in on himself as he desperately stammered out random vowels as to salvage asking such an embarrassing question.

"Thank you, Ms Se-mi!" That's even worse, "I- I hope it lasts! I'm- gonna do you now!" Wording, Gyeong-Su. Whilst he does wanna do her, he wants to return the favor of such a loving gesture. And so he would move his opposing hand to join his other one, gently massaging her back as he leaned forwards, opting to go for the side of her neck once again. He deeply inhaled before exhaling, tracing his lip against the column before finding a good area. There he would graze his teeth against her skin as a forewarning, giving a few kisses before starting to suck. He would start gentle and rhythmically, before giving a slightly more rough suck. Not too hard though. It was like a pattern - kiss, gently suck then be a bit more rough - he would ensure to do this pattern a few times, only indicating he's done with a small nip to the area. He smiled softly, proud of himself for actually doing something like this and not overthinking, worrying about hurting her.