'anonymous' system comics

I keep seeing people say that they wish the plural community would focus less on labels and slapfighting and more on the experience of living as plural, so I decided to make an ask game about it. All systems welcome to participate as long as you respect the spirit of the post and don't drag discourse onto it. Feel free to copy and paste this wherever with or without credit, a bunch of these questions were lifted from other places anyway.

I tried to pick or at least phrase questions to be as inclusive as possible, but I've almost certainly missed things - plurality is diverse and my system only experiences a small corner of it. I encourage people to make their own ask games!

🌱 (seedling) - How did you discover you were plural?

💐 (bouquet) - What analogy would you use to describe your system to a curious stranger?

🌸 (cherry blossom) - What things were major influences upon your system? (e.g. life events both positive and negative; meaningful media; other identities)

🌻 (sunflower) - If you can communicate internally, what is that like? If you can't communicate internally, do you have other methods for communicating with each other?

🍁 (maple leaf) - If you can switch, what is that like? If you can't switch, is it something that you're interested in?

🪴 (potted plant) - If you have a headspace, what is that like? If you don't have a headspace, where do system members normally hang out?

🍂 (fallen leaves) - Do you experience yourselves as individuals, as parts of a whole, or some secret other thing?

🌴 (palm tree) - Is there anything that you do to spend time together?

🌿 (herb) - What tools, if any, do you use to navigate life as a plural system?

🌲 (evergreen tree) - What kinds of relationships (familial, romantic, platonic, etc) exist between members of the system?

🌵 (cactus) - Do system members have disagreements with each other? How do you resolve them, if so?

🌺 (hibiscus) - Is there a "common" plural experience that you don't experience?

🌾 (sheaf of rice) - What does your average day look like? How does plurality intersect with it?

🎍 (kadomatsu) - Do you decorate your space or keep mementos of/for yourself and other system members? (e.g. perfumes, clothes for specific people, art, jewelry)

🍎 (apple) - What advice would you give to a singlet looking to be an ally?

🍀 (four leaf clover) - What advice would you give to a newly selves-discovered system?

"why are you barging into trans men's spaces to bully them?"

i'm a trans man. i'm not anywhere i'm not already welcome.

"why are trans women allowed to have their own specific term for their oppression, but trans men aren't?"

in greater society, men are viewed as the default while women are viewed as the other. women are subjugated under a patriarchal society. this is the foundational concept of feminism, that women deserve equal treatment as men. society also views cis as the default and trans as the other.

trans women's experience differs from trans men in that they experience intersecting oppression, both as trans people and as women. the term "transmisogyny" was coined to describe exactly this.

trans men experience gender based oppression on the basis of being trans. the term to describe the oppression of trans men is transphobia. "transphobia toward trans men," if you want to really be specific. there is no way to create a word for that without directly implying cis men also face gender based oppression.

"i can't believe you'd say trans men aren't oppressed."

this is not what i said.

like i said, i'm a trans man. i grew up ostracized as a teenager for expressing gender in a way that wasn't "normal." i've had family members tell me, to my face, that they'd be happy if republican politicians stripped away my right to hormones and surgery. i've been denied jobs after telling hiring managers i am trans. i understand this intimately, i've dealt with it my entire life.

this is a semantics issue. guys are ascribing trans men's oppression to the term "transmisandry." and then, when people say transmisandry doesn't exist, that gets interpreted as "trans men do not face oppression" rather than the actual, intended point of "misandry does not exist because men are not oppressed on the basis of being men. therefore, trans men's oppression is based on being TRANS, not as men."

"trans men experience misogyny since they're afab. shouldn't they be allowed to use the term transmisogyny to describe that?"

trans men should be included in things like abortion rights and discussions of menstruation. we agree on that.

i'll try to draw a parallel. a common form of gay male homophobia is to say things like "anal sex is unnatural. men aren't supposed to have sex with each other because they both have penises." but some trans women have penises and have anal sex. should straight trans women be use the term homophobia to describe disdain towards the type of sex they have? the answer to that is: sort of.

misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, intersexism, and so on all exist in this big, ugly, interconnected ball. they all stem from the same idea: there is an ideal standard that all men and women should adhere to. any deviation from this norm should be met with social stigma and violence.

this is why the mainstream terf movement is closely tied pro-lifers and right wing pundits. when you define womanhood with a set of strict, natal rules, you also attract the type of asshole who is against women's liberation, against queer liberation, against intersex visibility.

anyways. another semantics issue. transmisogyny does not just means "transphobia + misogyny." it is specific to trans womanhood, which is why trans men should avoid using the term to describe their experiences.

"but cis men do experience gender based oppression! what about gender non-conforming men?"

see my above point regarding misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and intersexism all being connected. if a man is experiencing oppression, its likely tied to one of these.

"you sound like a terf, op."

i am saying trans women experience misogyny because they are in the social class of women. this is the opposite of what terfs believe.

"we should kill op with hammers because he uses reddit."