Plummy KRW

I saw this ad today on Pinterest. We truly are living in an apocalyptic hellscape.

Sometimes I can feel within me a great well of patience. The ability to sit and wait, to hold onto a single thought or moment and make it endless. 

Other times I can’t seem to find that endless well, let alone a bucket to pull up my well-learned ability. Some anticipatory wishes will not be soothed.

So far, in the building of my career I have a history of patience. I have worked hard and held fast to my dedication to building a career. First as a high school student, then as a college student. Now as young professional.

I’ve changed professional jobs once already. It was a great upheaval.

And now it feels as if I dried up my internal well of patience in that first job. It was a terrible job, where I was often told to wait. Don’t do anything, don’t say anything, just wait. But I wanted to do things, to grow, to continue to build as I had been building for years in the academic systems of my youth. 

I wanted to move quickly, to put in as hard of work while in industry as I had put into my academics. But there was no work to be done. When I sought work, I was instead told to wait. To welcome complacency instead of growth.

So, now I am learning to dig the well of my patience even deeper than I have ever dug before. 

Learning to let go of the urge to rush ahead into the unknown.