keke

this is the only place i can be honest, the only place i can talk so like hahah all i can think about is how i want to die, im so close to just killing myself. i know where the gun is, i know everyone is busy, if that fails i know where the ropes are. im losing my will to live almost everyday and today it has genuinely just been getting worse. from the moment i woke up to now my entire day has been horrible, i feel like everything is pushing me over the edge and i judt cant take thid anymore but no one cares, i have no one yo tell any of thid to and i have no one to stop me because why would they? who would ever wqnt to save me or keep me alive lol not anyone ik hahah i cant take thid i feel like im going insane and all i can do id watch it. i want to be different and to be saved i dont xqnt to kill myszlf but it seem slike the only thing that can help

ive resulted in hiding my negative emotions from everyone and just faking being okay bc theres no point in doing anything else or getting people to care

holy shit its like my everyfay is so fucking overwhelming and sad i feel like i genuinely have no readon to be alive and everything just keeps adding up holy shot everything just keeps getting worse and worse i cant take this istg im gonna fucking kill myself theres no fucking readon to even be here anymore i have nothing and nothing ahead of me i have no future holy shit im just wasting my time hoping it gets better when it never will

yoo im thinking about once we get settled down in our house im gonna have the craziest smoking and cutting session

i feel so sick

standing up and literally doing anything except sitting or laying down has become so difficult and nauseating

i should be honest lowk and admit i've been abusing substances since she broke up with me because i cant stand the pain i feel 😳😳

why is is dull...hahahah please..dont do this to me right now...

blades blades blade hahahha come home hahahh new ones come here hahahah why arznt you cutting me hahahah

the familiar sensation of cutting skin for the first time except, on my right arm, after its been years since i've felt this way on any parts of my body simply because i did too much on my left one hahaha

i hate when people who are supposed to love me and treat me that way make me feel like im an inconvenience and burden to their lives

i feel like ive resorted back to my old mindset because its all i have and it makes me think how people just never see how much work ive tried to put into getting better because i was so much better and im gonna keep getting worse all over again

she unblocked her ex i cant take this anymore but ykw i dont think i care i cant take this all i can do is cry and feel hurt but as she said herself, no man is gonna tell her who she cant talk to 🤣🤣🤣✌️✌️✌️

for genuinely the first time in my life someone referred to me as sir even after i spoke

all i can think about when im high up is how im sure that the pain wouldnt be bad and that i'd be dead before i hit the ground or, the opposite, that i would feel it all and suffer before i eventually die

i cant stop crying i wish i wasnt a fucking tranny i wish i was a boy holy shit i just wish i looked like one FUCK MY LIFEEE

im so sad all the time