IT MEANS EVERYTHING.

tumblr is aubyphobic and fucked up this blog so i’m just gonna remake so i don’t have to deal with it!

https://plcntegg.tumblr.com/

“He should already have said goodbye to me quite a long time ago.” Mari smiles warmly, squeezing Aubrey’s shoulder and pulling her against her own side as she explains. “If he doesn’t say goodbye soon, he probably won’t be able to. There’ll be new regrets to make it harder.”

“I know it’s probably very hard for you to understand, but you trust me, right? So believe in me and help him.” She plants a little kiss on Aubrey’s hair.

          { 🎀 } ❝ i mean... i love spending time with omori, you know that! but... i don’t like the way you’re talking right now, mari... ❞

mari pulling the girl closer and the kiss planted on the top of her head don’t really help assuage aubrey’s concerned pout.

mari’s voice had a slight tone of... finality? to it? as if she was trying to prepare aubrey for something coming up sooner than she knew. and she didn’t want to imagine...  something like that! yet, if mari was the one asking...

“Well, you certainly fit in with them much better than with me most of the time. But I have no problem with that at all, because you all come back to me so excited and smiley.” Mari pats Aubrey’s head softly, straightening her bow briefly before her hand leaves the other girl and rests on her lap.

“And Omori’s being doing such a wonderful job getting through his fears, I’m so proud of him! He’s come so far. So, we can hang out today, but I want you to keep working hard at helping him, ok? Then one day, he’ll be strong enough to get over his fear of saying goodbye to me.”

          { 🎀 } ❝ i dunno if fitting in with the boys is a good thing! they like hitting stuff a lot. and i mean, i like hitting stuff too, but sometimes i wanna do girl stuff! hero sometimes plays with me, but omori and kel are a different story... ❞

though, it wasn’t like she did much “girl stuff” with mari either. usually their hangouts consisted of stuff like this; sitting on mari’s picnic blanket, idly talking until the rest of the group decided to head off somewhere. but that was fine! all aubrey wanted was a chance to hang out with mari, so it didn’t matter what they were doing!

though she giggled at mari straightening her bow, her good mood was quickly diminished as mari mentioned helping omori get over his fear of “saying goodbye” to her.

          { 🎀 } ❝ hehehe~ it’s nice to have someone like you to talk to, mari! ❞

aubrey was sitting on mari’s picnic blanket, simply enjoying the day with her while omori, kel, and hero played on the nearby playground. sure, she liked spending time with the three of them. they were her good friends, after all! but sometimes, it was nice to just sit down and have girl time!

             { 🎀 } ❝ huh? omori...? ❞

it was rare for the boy to exhibit such kind feelings towards her. she knew omori liked her, of course! they hung out all the time! but usually all that came from omori was... indifference. the feeling of 'i don't mind you being here, but i also wouldn't mind if you weren't'.

and so, when omori had come up to her on the swings of the playground, where she sat as everyone else played with each other, she was a bit surprised, and more than a bit flattered.

           { 🏏 } ❝ this coming from the girl who literally just flopped dramatically onto my lap like an old tv show actress when i refused to share any of my taffy with her. you can get off now, by the way. ❞

kim was still laid across her lap, hand over her forehead as if she was about to faint right then and there. this was the girl she chose to spend time with...

@plcntegg / starter

he’s weaseled his way out of many an interaction, many a situation he doesn’t want to be in, but recently it seems he’s been trapped in a cage by everyone and everything around him. he’s been forced to confront every bit of sourness head-on recently, and at this point he humorously thought he could write a book in his head: How To Kill a Non-Confrontational Person.

as much as he’d die before admitting it fully, he only has himself to blame. maybe he could simply blame fate — after all, he wasn’t the one seeking any of this out. but perhaps that wasn’t a good thing, after the hell that everyone’s trudged through.

sunny stands there, in his distinct lack of any glorification; if anything, he still looks like a walking corpse, even if the cause is lack of sleep rather than abundance. not to mention that to the trained eye, every single muscle in his body is tense. his flight instincts simply seem to spring up around aubrey, no matter how horrible he feels about that being the case.

“ i’m sorry. ” as if that would fix anything at all.

          { 🏏 } ❝ ...sorry won’t fix anything, sunny. ❞

she doesn’t turn to face him. she doesn’t have to. the emotions running through her mind right now and more than evident through her tightened body language. her head droops down low to the ground, hanging there limp as though she no longer cared enough to expend the energy to lift it up.

❝ it’s not... your fault. i know that. i know that. but it still... hurts. hurts to know that the truth has been kept from us for so long. ❞

she sighs. runs a hand through her pink hair. the roots are starting to show, and there’s a bit of brown at the top. she should fix that.

          well then, so much for that plan. hero let another sharp breath, trying to keep himself composed. it wasn’t that he was mad at aubrey – he never would be! but, he felt so many emotions right now it was hard to sort them out let alone regulate them.  ❝    i –  think  she  mentioned  that  once  or  twice  to  me .. !     ❞  he offered, thinking back to how mari had mentioned coloring her hair once or twice, talking about how excited aubrey had been for going pink! it’d taken a few years, but she’d gotten there in the end. he wished he and mari could’ve done so much more. in hindsight it sort of made perfect sense that mari didn’t die like they’d thought. why would she have done that? when she && hero had so much planned? when he had been planning to tell his parents about their relationship. why then, of all times?

          hero leaned back a bit, feeling the wind gently blowing past them. it was a nice day, and he frowned as he thought of what mari would’ve made of such a perfect day.   ❝    i’m  glad  you  did  that.  it’s   sweet ..  you  know?      ❞  he rested his hands on his chest, closing his eyes for a moment as he smiled.  ❝    she  would’ve  liked  it.     ❞ 

          { 🏏 } ❝ maybe she would’ve. maybe she would think it was dumb and would’ve backed out at the last second before we actually went through it. who knows. ❞

her bluntness only comes from the fact that she truly has no idea how to process her emotions anymore, so she’s simply stopped trying to do so, and now just says whatever comes to mind just so it’ll get out of her head.

❝ either way, i wanted to do it myself. every time i look in the mirror now, i remember her. i remember everything we did together. i remember all the plans we made that never happened. and i remember that the only good female role model i've ever had is gone. ❞

           ❝   sorry  ,  sorry  !    ❞    a    soft    laugh    follows    as    she    actually    allows    aubrey    some    room    to    breathe    .    she    steps    back    towards    the    door    ,    opening    it    up    wider    to   allow    the    teenager    entry    .   ❝   how could i not tackle you  ?  it’s been what, two months  ?  i must seem like an old woman to you now  .   ❞    mari    jokes   while    she    pushes    her    hair    out    of    her    face   .   ❝    c’mon, get in here. it’s cold. i can hold your face in the heated living room  .   ❞

            she    waits    for    aubrey    to    enter    the    home    before    nudging    the    front    door    closed    with    her    foot    .    before    heading    further    into    the    floor    plan    ,    mari    offers   her    hand    to    aubrey    .    ❝    oh  ,  kel  .  you mean to tell me that you didn’t adore him  ?   ❞    she   questions    with    a    bright    smile   .    ❝   the night hero and i drove back to campus, kel finally convinced me into trying an orange joe.  aubs’  ,  i almost threw up  .  please tell me that you cut him off from those monstrosities  .   ❞

          { 🏏 } ❝ you’re right, i hardly recognized you with all those gray hairs you have now. ❞

patently untrue, but aubrey couldn't resist a bit of teasing as she walked into mari’s home, chuckling to herself a bit. it had truly been a while since she was able to talk to mari like this, and so she had to savor every moment she could get.

as the hand is offered to her, aubrey wastes no time in gently wrapping her own hand around mari’s, allowing the girl to lead her off wherever in the house she chooses.

           ❝    aubie  !   ❞

            the    drive    back    from    campus    was    daunting    .    she    had    juggled    not    only    skillfully    eating    her    burger    while    keeping    her    eyes    on    the    road    ,    but    also    making    sure    to    avoid    any    potholes    in    the    ground    that    could    awaken    her    sleeping    boyfriend    in    the    passenger    seat     ;     (    hero said he would be navigating her, but how could she be mad at his sleepy expression  ?    )     it’s heavenly to finally plant her feet back    on    the    sidewalk    of    her     childhood    .    the    house    hadn’t    changed    a    bit    ,    either    !    she    had    politely    excused    herself    from    her    family    in    order    to    answer    the    ringing    of    the    home’s    doorbell    ,    and    was    met    with    a    wonderful    surprise    .    she    steps    forward    ,    pulling    the    girl    into    a     warm    hug    .    ❝    oh  ,  i missed you  …  !!  how are you  ?   ❞    mari    pulls    back    slightly    ,    pressing    both    of    her    hands    against    the    sides    of    aubrey’s    face    .   ❝    are you taller  ?  oh my goodness  .  it’s a christmas miracle  !    ❞    she    teases   .

            @plcntegg··    /    sc.

          { 🏏 } aubrey was hardly expecting to be tackle-hugged by mari the second the door opened, and it took her a moment to find her footing again afterwards.

she blushed a bit at the childish nickname, but kept a smile on her face nonetheless. it was a bit embarrassing to be called that now that she was older, but she would allow it. just for mari.

❝ jeez, mari, happy to see me much? could’ve at least warned me before you almost tackle me to the ground. ❞

despite her lighthearted complaining, she returned the hug the other girl gave her happily, and admittedly felt a bit sad as mari pulled away.

❝ i missed you too. without you around, i had to hang out with kel all the time. you owe me big-time for making me go through that kind of torment. ❞

          hero sat down across from aubrey, the park bench feeling warm and inviting. even if he wanted to say that he was happy to be back in town, he felt a lot of conflicting emotions. he hadn’t expected this entire thing to be such a damn rollercoaster, and he had needed to take some time to completely reevaluate himself. so much time spent blaming himself, so much time spent telling himself if he’d only cared more. but now that he realized he’d done all he could, not seeing the signs hadn’t been because he was blind but because they were never there to begin with – he couldn’t help but feel mad. he had spent all this time loathing himself, putting himself down for being so blind to the suffering of mari – when, in truth, that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. she’d been taken from him too soon, but not in the way he’d thought. 

he rests his intertwined hands on his knees, letting out a deep exhale to try and vent out any bad emotions before he spoke. he didn’t want aubrey to feel like he had any pent up anger directed at her; because he didn’t. any feelings he had right now were .. too complicated to voice, and he just opted to stay quiet about them for the foreseeable future.      ❝    so –  you  dyed  your  hair  pink?  it  looks  good  on  you!     ❞   he opens with something calm and inviting, hoping that it’s an olive branch of sorts.  ||  @plcntegg· ! 

          { 🏏 } ❝ ...it was something mari and i were supposed to do together. ❞

the reply was blunt, and the words just fell out of aubrey’s mouth before she even really thought about what she was saying. she had planned to dye her hair with mari at some point, but when it was clear that wouldn’t happen...

god, she felt so stupid thinking about it. of course mari didn’t die how everyone thought. a girl like mari? who enjoyed life so much, who was a ray of sunshine in everyone’s lives? there was no way. ever since that day, aubrey’s been thinking that mari’s death made no sense.

and now she finally knew why.

                   { 🏏 } ❝ mari, i promise, i'm fine. you don't have to-- ❞

before she could finish her sentence, she heard the sound of mari hanging up the phone on the other end. letting the hand holding her cell phone drop to her side, aubrey simply sat on the curb outside her house and waited for the girl to arrive.

and once she did, aubrey looked up at her with a small blush on her cheeks and a frown on her face.