REPLAY !

“Let me guess,” the slightly younger man said, pushing himself away from the door and sitting down in front of Jiwon and his heap of clothes. Sunwoo grabbed the shirt Jiwon had been gripping tightly, folding it into a neat little pile, placing it in his suitcase, never once looking up to meet his eyes. “Packing up this little shithole is harder than you thought it would be?”

“How did you-” Jiwon started, but was cut off by a look from the blond haired man in front of him shooting him a look of disbelief.

“Jiwon, I’ve known you for how long now? I can read you like an open book.”

Jiwon let out a small chuckle, watching the way Sunwoo’s hands folded his clothes expertly, not able to stop the feeling of uselessness at that moment. Sunwoo had always been the one that was good at reading people, and sometimes Jiwon wished that he could have that power. Even with Sunwoo, his best friend for years now, he had the hardest time knowing what he was thinking.

He shook his head lightly, pushing any other thoughts out of his head, picking up a shirt to fold. “I guess I just thought it would be easier to close this chapter, but it’s really hard to see everything all packed up and empty.”

“We still have all the memories from here, I think that’s what makes it harder, no matter how much the water pressure sucks and how much mold we find around here.” Sunwoo nodded along, watching as Jiwon placed a shirt down, looking much more haphazard than any of the ones Sunwoo had folded.

“We also have all the memories with Dosan,” Jiwon spoke quietly, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes, quickly blinking them away.

Sunwoo chuckled. “You make it sound like he’s dead or something,” the younger one shook his head. “We can still make more memories with him at our new dorm.”

“But they won’t be the memories of him in the group.”

“Yeah,” Sunwoo sighed, looking down at his hands. “But leaving here means we still have the opportunity to be in the group. It sucks leaving, but it’s for the best.”

Jiwon looked up, meeting Sunwoo’s eyes, which were much softer than he expected. Jiwon was hard at reading people and Sunwoo’s gaze was no exception to that rule, though he could tell it was much softer than any gaze the younger had given him before. It was almost unbearable to look at, having that much emotion in one gaze towards him, causing him to look away and back down to his clothes. 

“How have the rest of the kids been taking it?” he asked, his throat suddenly feeling dry. “You’re always much better at reading them than I’ll ever be.”

“I think we’re all feeling a bit emotional about the move,” Sunwoo spoke after a moment. Jiwon couldn’t help but notice the disappointed tone to his voice. “Well, maybe except for Donghan, he’s always been a strange one to read.”

Jiwon nodded, busying himself with his pile of clothes. The two stayed there for a long while, sitting on the floor of their room, packing up their clothes in near silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

Donghan stared at the room around him, all packed up in brown paper boxes, little words written on the sides so they knew what belonged to who. It felt surreal, he thought as he tore his eyes away from the boxes that seemed to be everywhere and tried to focus on Felix’s steady heartbeat under his ear. He wasn’t nervous for the move, sometimes it felt like he was the only one that wasn’t nervous or sad about leaving this dump, but he couldn’t help the small voice in the back of his head that told him it was strange.

“You want to talk about it?” Felix’s deep voice broke out of the silence as a soothing hand ran over his arm.

Donghan just smiled softly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” he stated, no room for question in his voice as he raised his head from Felix’s chest, resting his chin on it to look at the slightly older boy, lifting one eyebrow. 

Felix just fixed his eyes on Donghan, raising an eyebrow in return. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to in order to get Donghan to sigh, looking away back towards all the boxes.

“What if we go through all this trouble and we still don’t make it?” Donghan said after a moment, keeping his eyes anywhere but Felix’s. The one thing that was eating at him, making everything feel wrong finally coming up.

He had these thoughts for a while now, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually tell any of the other members these thoughts, he didn’t want to ruin their fun, their hope. Hope was a funny little thing, pushing all of the boys to work harder and harder, the hope of better days ahead of them keeping them going. Donghan wasn’t one to be hopeful.

“You will make it,” Felix’s voice was nothing if not certain, causing Donghan to look back, questions evident in his eyes, but Felix’s were strong, certain. “You guys are a talented group, you just need someone to see that. Besides, if there’s one thing I know about Jiwon it’s that he doesn’t give up, if P Nation doesn’t work, he’ll find something that will.”

Donghan smiled lightly as he looked down at his fidgeting hands. “Yeah, he’s kind of annoying like that.”

“It’s a good thing,” Felix said lightly, smiling as he ran a hand through Donghan’s messy hair. 

“It is,” Donghan nodded.

He leaned back down, resting his head back on Felix’s chest. Felix’s words help a bit, though he couldn’t stop the small nagging voice that was telling him they would never make it, that everything they were doing wouldn’t matter. He tried to push them out of his mind and focus on the small moments he had with Felix before they both had to get back to their busy schedules.

Jinhwan sighed, looking around the now empty dorm, all of the cracks and crevices shown much more now that there was no furniture to cover it. It was officially move out day and part of Jinhwan wanted to run around and jump off the walls at finally being out of this shitty dorm, but the other part of him felt like he was leaving something big and important. He hadn’t felt like this since he moved out of his home and into the dorm for the first time.

“Jinhwan, do we have everything?” Nico’s bright voice came from the front door as he looked into the room for one last time. “You good?”

“Is it weird that part of me is sad that we’re not gonna be in this dorm anymore?” Jinhwan asked not looking over at the younger boy, but staring around at the blank walls.

“You’re gonna miss the mold that’s starting to show up in the bathroom?” Nico questioned causing Jinhwan to let out a small laugh.

“We should probably tell someone about that,” he laughed, shaking his head to look over at the younger, who was leaning against the open door. “But, I don’t know, it just feels strange to be leaving.”

“It’s the thought of change,” Nico said after a small pause, pushing himself off the door frame. “Nobody likes change, even in this case if it’s a good one like this.” he shrugged, pushing his hands in his pockets. “And it could be reminding you about the passage of time and all of that stuff since we’ve been here for so long or something like that.”

Jinhwan paused, thinking over the words that Nico had said. It made sense, all of their memories, their firsts as a group, were all in this shitty, run down dorm, with mold starting to grow in the bathroom. It made sense that he would feel a little sentimental about the place.

“When did you get so smart?” he asked with a smile, throwing an arm around Nico’s shoulders and bringing his other hand up to ruffle his hair. “I thought that was us old folks' jobs.”

Nico let out a small huff, trying to push Jinhwan away with only a small amount of his strength. “I’m just trying to give you guys a break, you’re getting wrinkles from all of that thinking!”

Without another word Nico slipped out of Jinhwan’s grasp running out the door and down the stairs. 

Jiwon had shoved himself into his work in the days following the end of their promotions. First, he had tried to make new songs, hoping that if the company heard some promising tracks, they would think again about letting them go, but it felt like every track he made just felt more wrong each time he tried. Once he gave up on making music, he looked more into other companies around them, hoping that he could find something, anything that would let him stay together with the group of people he had grown so fond of. He scrolled and scrolled, debating with himself on emailing some places when Sunwoo burst through one of the practice room doors, telling him that enough was enough and pulling him all the way back to their dorm. Sunwoo had thrown Jiwon’s tired body onto his bed, sitting on top of him until he had slipped into one of the best sleeps he had in a while.

It was all nice until he woke up to a message from their manager, telling him that the CEO wanted to see him, his heart sinking instantly in his chest at the conversation he knew was going to come. He had slipped out of bed that morning, careful not to disturb anyone in the dorm in the early hours of the morning. It was almost peaceful walking around the dorm with nobody milling about and he couldn’t help but hope that the rest of the boys would sleep peacefully, without any of the stress Jiwon was currently facing.

That brought Jiwon to standing in front of their CEO’s door, wondering how he could wiggle their way out of disbandment, how he could keep this group going as long as he wanted. He let out one last sigh, knocking on the door with a firm knock that surprised him. He waited until he heard a small, deep voice on the other side telling him to come in, before he made his way into the room, instantly sitting down in front of the man.

The older man let out a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair. “I’m sure you already know why you’re here,” he sighed, looking Jiwon straight in the eye. “We’re disbanding Replay and we’re going to have a formal meeting with everyone later, but I wanted to give you the rundown on how this would work before we move forward.”

There was a pause as the man waited for Jiwon to nod or show any sort of approval. It was dead silent in the room, but Jiwon had never felt like it was so loud before. He started at his hands for a moment, biting his lip to keep him from saying something, no matter how much he wanted to. The man in front of him sighed lightly, about to continue, but Jiwon couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Sir,” Jiwon’s voice broke out into the silence, much louder and stronger than he thought it would come out, considering how scared he was inside. He watched as his CEO’s eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, but Jiwon continued before he could stop him. “With all due respect, I think it would be a mistake to disband our group.”

“Jiwon, you’re group hasn’t been gaining much attention,” the man started, looking frustrated. “We sent you guys onto Road to Kingdom, hoping it would gain you guys attention, but you didn’t win, so nothing happened. We can’t keep wasting money on a project that isn’t giving us anything in return.”

“But we’re getting bigger each comeback!” Jiwon protested, looking into the older man’s eyes as he raised his voice lightly. “I’ve seen the album sales and we’ve been nominated for number one multiple times! If you would just give us a few more comebacks I’m sure we could get bigger!”

“The answer’s no, Jiwon, and that’s final.” The patronizing tone of the man’s voice only served to frustrate Jiwon even more. 

“If you won’t let us continue, then let us find someone else that will,” Jiwon’s voice was deep as he glared at the man in front of him.

The man barked out an ugly laugh, throwing his head back as if it was the funniest thing in the world. “And who would want to take in a group like you? No wins, bad sales, barely any production credits? You guys have nothing going for yourself as far as I’m concerned.”

“One month,” Jiwon said, closing his eyes and breathing through his nose to calm him down. “Give us one month to look for a new place, if we don’t get it by then, then you can disband the group.”

The man smirked, leaning forward. “Fine, one month and when you don’t find anyone to take in your group, you guys will disband without any more of a fuss, got it?”

“Yes,” Jiwon said, getting up from his seat and leaving the room, without another glance back at his CEO.

“We’re doing what now?” Donghan’s voice filled the small dorm, his eyes wide with confusion and his mouth hung open. The other boys stared back in similar states of shock, though Donghan had always been the more vocal of the younger members of the group.

“We’re going to find another company to take us in,” Jiwon shrugged simply, looking over to Sunwoo to see if he was as confused about the situation as the rest of them. He didn’t seem to be, but Jiwon noticed the small, scared look on his face, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“And how exactly are we going to do that?” Jinhwan said, his voice much more quiet than normal. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and his long black hair was messily thrown into a ponytail, or as much of one as he could get. He was clearly worried, and Jiwon wanted to do nothing more than to console the younger one. 

“We email companies and just hope that they take a look at us?” Sunwoo suggested, causing all eyes to turn to him. “Look, I know it’s not ideal, but I’d rather do anything than actually disband.”

All the other boys nodded, looking more solem than when they started this conversation. “How do we know that the companies will even look at anything we send?” Nico’s soft voice broke the small silence, asking the one question that they were all wondering.

“We don’t” Jiwon shrugged, running a hand through his hair. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought, but Jiwon was determined to make it through and keep this group together.

“I can talk to some of my friends from when I trained at SM and see if they know anything,” Jinhwan suggested. “Worse come to worse, we could always look at Jinhee’s company.”

“That would be great, Jinhwan,” Jiwon said, his voice tired as he rested his hands on the back of his neck, the worry finally starting to catch up with him.

“Why don’t we take a break, it’s been a long day,” Sunwoo interjected, seeing how Jiwon was close to losing it, knowing when he needed to stop Jiwon from going too far. “We can pick this back up later.”

The boys nodded, getting up from their position on the floor and making their way into their rooms, leaving the oldest two alone. 

“I’m worried,” Jiwon said after a moment, not looking at the younger man next to him. “What if we don’t get anywhere to pick us up?”

“Then we’ll disband anyway, you’re at least giving us another shot we wouldn’t have had.”

Jiwon had to admit that Sunwoo was right, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it would be his fault if nobody picked them up. The thought kept playing over and over in him mind and he couldn’t help but worry.

“Whatever happens, you know it’s not like we won’t see each other again, right?”

“Will we, though?” Jiwon questioned, turning to finally look at Sunwoo. “Yeah, you and me will still see each other, and we can probably see Jinhwan and Donghan too, but Nico will probably move back home, what’s keeping him here other than being an idol? He can go back to his youtube channel and we would barely ever see him again. I just don’t want to lose any of them.”

“I know,” Sunwoo nodded, his face falling slightly at Jiwon’s words. “But, we’ll make it work, okay?”

Jiwon just nodded, not trusting himself to actually talk with the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. He just wanted everything to turn out okay.

It was two weeks before they heard back from anyone that they had sent anything out to, and all the boys could feel their heart start racing with excitement before Jiwon opened the email. They could also feel their hearts drop at the sight of the rejection.

That one was only the first, but many more rejections kept flooding in after the first one, making the boys less and less hopeful as the days went on. Slowly, every company they had reached out to came back with the same answer. No.

There was only one company left and all the boys knew it was a long shot. P Nation. It had started out as a joke between the boys about how Psy was constantly picking up stray singers and that maybe, just maybe, he would actually look into them just a bit. Then, Jinhwan mentioned how he used to train with one of the promising trainees back under SM and how he could probably give him a call and see what could happen, if he could plant any seeds in any higher ups mind. 

They all knew it would probably be a no, but seeing the email rolling in had all the boys at the edge of their seats, waiting for Jiwon to open it and read out the email. Jiwon looked around at the boys one last time before he took a deep breath and opened the email. He scanned it quickly, not wanting to read it to the boys if it was bad news, but he couldn’t help teh way that his eyes lit up at the words.

“We got in?” Nico asked, noticing the way their leader’s eyes lit up, his smile bright and hopeful.

Jiwon smiled. “They want to meet us!” His voice was bright and happy and he could see the way all the other boys lit up at the words.

Ever since Jinhwan was little he had been protective of Jinhee, even if she was ten minutes older than him. Jinhee was too kind, too optimistic, and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, it was only natural for Jinhwan to want to protect her, to make sure her fragile heart didn’t get broken. It was no surprise that Jinhee, sweet and kind Jinhee, would get excited and giddy whenever their father was in town, hoping this would be the time he actually stayed. Every time, Jinhwan was left to pick up the pieces of Jinhee’s broken heart in their small shared bedroom, under the nightlights, careful to not let their mother see. Maybe Jinhwan knew when the bitterness set in, and maybe it was after he was left to pick up the pieces of a broken family who hoped for something more every time, and every time got disappointed yet again.

Jinhwan wasn’t surprised when his father showed up again just after his and Jinhee’s birthday, just a year and a few days after the last time he had walked out, going back to whatever life he lived without them. Jinhee had been ecstatic when their father showed up, a set of high end makeup for her, and a PS4 for Jinhwan in his hands, like one gift would make up for all the time pushed them to the side. Jinhwan, on the other hand, had been sitting on the couch, glaring at the way his mom and Jinhee hung onto every word of their father’s travels, things that Jinhwan were sure never even happened. He could see them get pulled into their father’s orbit once again, falling back into the feelings they said was over the last time he walked out on them.

Jinhwan, at only fifteen and a few days, wanted nothing more than to go up to their father and tell him to leave, but he knew his mother would be upset. He couldn’t stand the little sparkle in his mother’s eyes as she looked at their father, the only man she ever truly loved, as she had mentioned right after he left the last time, her mind full of the alcohol she drank to forget the pain that night, not sure of the words coming out of her mouth. Jinhwan had almost cried with her that night, but he held strong, helping his mother to bed that night before venturing into his and Jinhee’s shared room, which fared no better. The gifts their dad left them were strewn across the floor, Jinhee left laying on her bed, her cover pulled up over her head, but that didn’t stop Jinhwan from hearing the faint sniffles coming from her side of the room. That was the worst of his father leaving and he vowed from that day that he wouldn’t let this man ruin their lives again.

He knew there wasn’t much he could do, other than sit back and wait for their father to finally leave again. It hurt knowing that no matter what, his family would get hurt. Jinhwan sighed, pulling himself off the couch, at least if his mother and sister were fawning over the man in front of them, he didn’t have to be around to see it. He made his way through the small apartment, into the kitchen where he wanted to get a glass of water. Jinhwan shuffled his way into the room, kicking his father’s jacket along the way, his small brown wallet falling out of it and sliding across the tiled floor. Of course, he thought with a sigh, leaning down to pick up the cursed object, a small piece of paper falling out as he did so. Jinhwan reached out, his hands curling around what looked to be a small worn picture that had fallen. The picture held three people, all gathering around a camera for a selfie. One was Jinhwan’s father, who had his arm around an older woman, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, the last girl looked much younger, smiling brightly into the camera where she was taking the picture.

He has another kid. The thought flooded his mind immediately, looking at how the younger girl, who couldn’t be much older than Jinhwan himself, looked like a perfect mix of his father and the other woman.  He felt his stomach dropped as he flipped the picture over, looking at the neat scribbling on the back.

Dad! Make sure you keep this with you at all times when you’re gone, we don’t want you forgetting what we look like! Love, you favorite (and only) daughter, Della! 

Jinhwan let out a shaky breath, putting the picture away in the wallet and tucking it carefully into the jacket it had fallen out of. He knew his dad was a piece of shit, but he didn’t expect him to have a full double life. He knew in his mind he had to tell them, even if it broke their heart. He couldn’t let his mother and his sister fawn over this man that only had them in a quarter of his.

He set his jaw, walking through the winding hallways of the old apartment, into his shared room. He would tell Jinhee when she came to bed tonight, he couldn’t ruin their fun now, not right in front of their father. Though, when Jinhee walked through the door that night, the light sparkle she got in her eyes whenever she so much as thought about their father was very much present, Jinhwan knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be the one to break her heart like that.

2018 !

Jinhwan wasn’t sure what possessed him to sneak into Jinhee’s dorm that night, but he knew he could never say no to his sister when she was feeling a bit down. He had snuck past the rest of the girls in her dorm many times before, careful to keep himself out of the sight of the manager who lived in the dorm with them. It was a practiced science he was used to.

Jinhee was curled up on the top of her bed, her eyes still red from crying over some guy who didn’t deserve to even have had a chance with his sister. She was focused on the small computer in front of her playing some new Mnet survival show that Jinhwan had no intention of paying any attention to. Anything to keep his sister happy.

The show was slow, much like many other survival shows that Jinhwan couldn’t even bear to watch, and it relied on far too much drama to even make any sense of what was going on. Jinhwan was just glad that Banana Culture wasn’t putting them through a stupid survival show for their debut, he’s not sure he could have stood that.

Jinhee, on the other hand, loved the drama. She was always watching over dramatic shows and she watched any survival show she could get her hands on. Jinhwan’s almost surprised he didn’t get herself on some sort of survival show, just so she could live out the drama herself.

“She's really pretty,” Jinhee spoke, mostly to the room at this point, probably being able to tell that Jinhwan was paying little attention to the show in front of them.

Jinhwan snapped his head up from where he was staring at his hands, catching a glimpse of the girl that Jinhee was talking about. She was lanky and tall, her hair cut in a short dark bob, which really showed off her facial structure. The girl might have been the prettiest girl Jinhwan had ever seen, and at the ripe age of seventeen, Jinhwan had seen lots of pretty girls.

Movement in the corner of the screen caught his eye, and he looked over at the girl that was sitting next to the pretty goddess he could barely take his eyes off of. His heart skipped a beat as he looked straight at the girl he had seen once before. It wasn’t like he had seen the girl in passing at school, which happened to quite a few of these girls that were wandering around the screen. No, Jinhwan had only seen that face once before, three years ago. That was the face of their father’s other daughter.

“Who are these guys?” Jinhwan asked, his eyes still locked on the screen, not being able to tear them away from the girl that is his sister.

“Why does Jinhwan have a little crush?” she nudged him. “Honestly, she’s a bit out of your league, but-”

“Jinhee, who are they?” he cut her off, and maybe if it was any other day he would have felt bad about it, but today he couldn’t care less.

“Jeez, okay,” Jinhee put her hand up in mock surrender. “They’re the KQ trainees, Jinri, Maisie, and Della. We don’t know much about them but they’re about to actually perform.”

Jinhwan just nodded, but said nothing else. Della was here, she was in Korea and far too close to home. He had barely thought about her since the last time their father had walked out on them. He watched the rest of the episode, unable to keep his eyes away from his sister every time she came across the screen.

2020 !

Jinhwan wasn't sure how things fell into place. Maisie was basically everything he had hoped for when he had seen her on Produce 48, trying his best to gauge the personality of Della. He would never admit it, but Maisie was the reason he kept watching even after Della was eliminated. 

Jinhwan hadn’t expected anything to happen between him and Maisie when they ran into each other backstage at a music show. They hadn’t talked long, Maisie having to rush off and perform, but they kept running into each other again and again. Jinhwan still remembered the way that his eyes bugged out of his head when Maisie had asked him out on the last day of their promotions together, though it wasn’t as bad as the way Jinhee’s jaw dropped when Jinhwan had told her about it.  

‘There’s no way someone like her asked someone like you out! You have to be lying!’ she had said, hitting his arms light enough that he could barely feel it, though that might have been due to him feeling like he was on cloud nine at that moment.

Maisie was perfect, all except for one thing. Della. Jinhwan knew what he was getting into when he started dating someone who was slated to be in the same group as his new sister, but he hadn’t expected them to be best friends. Della, for some reason, also knew how to call at just the most inopportune time.

Which left Jinhwan laying back on his bed, his whole body flushed with the way Maisie had been hovering over him just minutes before when her phone started ringing. His girlfriend had taken the call right away, telling Jinhwan that she would be back soon, but Della had just gone on a date that night and she needed to be on call. Jinhwan wasn’t mad, in fact he thought it was sweet that Maisie cared so much about her friends, but he was annoyed that it was Della of all people. Jinhwan wanted to push Della to the back of his mind and forget about her, just like how he did once all those years ago. 

“Okay, Dells, I’ll talk to you later,” he heard his girlfriend say from the other side of the room he shared with Donghan. He didn’t look over, but he could practically feel Maisie glancing over at him every second. “Bye.”

Jinhwan kept his eyes trained on the ceiling as he heard Maisie’s footsteps across the room. Her leg swung over his body in a matter of seconds, straddling the younger man, quickly leaning down to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Now, where were we?” she smiled, leaning back down to kiss him again. Jinhwan let his hands travel up her bare sides, trying to put his mind back into where it was before the phone call had interrupted them, though his mind kept wandering.

“How’s Della?” he asked suddenly, looking up at the ceiling again as Maisie started to kiss down his jaw.

He felt her still, looking up at the younger with a raised eyebrow. “You want to talk about Della while you’re half hard?”

Jinhwan didn’t answer, he just continued to stare at the ceiling, annoyed that his brain wouldn’t let him enjoy one of the few moments he can spend with his girlfriend. Maisie waited a second, but she didn’t get a reply she sighed, leaning back.

“What’s up with you? Every time I so much as mention Della you get this weird look on your face like you’re constipated or something.” Jinhwan finally looked over at his girlfriend, only to see a confused look on her face. “And I know you don’t actually know her because I asked her, so spill.”

Jinhwan sighed, wondering how he was going to explain this to his girlfriend, who he had only been dating for a few months at this point. He didn’t want Maisie to have to be in the center of whatever weird shit he had going on with Della, but he also didn’t want to keep secrets from her.

“Della’s my sister,” Jinhwan blurted out, looking anywhere but Maisie’s eyes. “Well, half-sister, we share a dad and nobody else knows but me.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, her voice small, almost like she didn’t mean for the words to come out. 

They stayed quiet for a bit, Jinhwan biting his lip waiting for any sort of response, and Maisie processing the words that Jinhwan had just said.

“So, you and Della are siblings?” she finally said after minutes of sitting in silence. Jinhwan just nodded in reply. “And she has no idea that you two are siblings?” another nod. “How did you even find out?”

“I saw a picture of her in my father’s wallet a few years ago when he came to visit.”

Maisie nodded but stayed quiet again, looking around the room and biting her lip lightly. Jinhwan knew she had something she wanted to say, but she was second guessing herself.

“Were-” she started, cutting herself off like she was thinking better of the words she was about to ask, then she closed her eyes and sighed lightly. “Were you only with me to get closer to Della?”

“What?” Jinhwan shot up, sitting face-to-face with Maisie, who was looking anywhere but Jinhwan’s face. “No, of course not. In fact, I half wish you weren’t so close to Della so I could forget all of this even existed.” his words didn’t seem to make Maisie feel any better, with the awkward look on her face. “Look, Maisie, I love you so much and I really don’t want to have to put you in the middle of this situation because she’s your best friend, but I didn’t feel like it was fair to keep it from you.”

Maisie smiled a bit, wrapping her arms around Jinhwan’s neck. “I also don’t think it’s fair for you to keep it from Della either.”

Jinhwan sighed, shaking his head. “I haven’t even told my own sister, I don’t think it would be fair for me to go up to a girl I don’t even know and ruin her whole family.”

“Is it fair to let her keep thinking her father is the best person in the world when he had a whole double life going on?”

Jinhwan bit his lip, but didn’t reply.

Maisie let out a small sigh. “Look, it’s up to you, it’s your family, but that’s what I think.”

Jinhwan just nodded, leaning forward to hug his girlfriend tightly, not wanting to think about any of this anymore.

2021 !

Jinhwan bit his lip nervously, looking across the small room that he recognized so well. He hadn’t been to Jinhee dorm for a while, the older girl had been working hard on the final preparations for their debut and she was far more excited about that then spending time with her brother.

“Hwannie, guess what?” she bounced around the room, going no particular place.

“Hmm,” he contemplated, looking up to the bottom of the bunk on top of her’s. “You tripped on your way out of the practice room and everyone just stared and laughed at you.”

“What? No.” Jinhee gave him a confused look, before she went back to her bouncing. “I texted Dad about my debut coming up and he responded saying he was proud of me!”

Jinhwan tried to smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes and Jinhee could tell in a second. “Oh, come on Jinhwan! I know you don’t really like Dad, but it was nice that he actually responded!”

“Jinhee, I need to tell you something about Dad,” he sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

“No, you’re not ruining the first thing I’ve heard from Dad in months, I-”

“Dad has another kid!” Jinhwan blurted out, knowing if he left it any longer, he would chicken out.

Jinhee’s face dropped, looking back at her brother with wide eyes, which already looked like they were filling up with tears. He cursed himself for bringing it up so carelessly with Jinhee’s sweet, fragile heart. “What?” her voice was small and quiet, filled with many emotions Jinhwan hadn’t felt about this situation in a while.

“Dad has another kid, and a whole other family,” he shrugged, not being able to look Jinhee in the eyes.

“How do you know?” Jinhwan knew Jinhee didn’t want to believe it, she didn’t want to believe the man she looked up to could be anything like this.

“I found a picture of her in his wallet when he came to visit a few years ago,”

“A few years ago?” she questioned, her voice now angry. “You knew for years and you didn’t think to tell me? Not even all of those times when he left and I was upset about it?”

“I didn’t want to pile onto the hurt you were already feeling and every time he left I was hoping he would never come back!” he countered, looking up to see his sister’s angry face. The one he had only seen during the times that they were fighting when they were younger.

“Get out,” she said, her voice dangerously quiet and low. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

Jinhwan just sighed, knowing he needed to let his sister calm down. He got up from the bed and made his way to the door before turning around to look at his sister one last time.

“By the way,” he started, seeing his sister's teary eyes meet his. “Dad’s other kid is Della, the one from Blue Moon.”