Hello, Gordon!

hey gang. i’m probably gonna remove coomer’s theme entirely or fuck with it some other way, so i’m not putting this under a read more so everybody can still read it.

you’re probably wondering where the hell i went so abruptly. basically, i’m not really planning to ever return to tumblr rp. we’re at a point now where it’s just. diminishing returns. i’ve created some great dynamics in character, on coomer and on mario, and there’s a lot of really excellent people i’ve met through tumblr rp out of character (doc, cognac, frank, nikki, dakota, maunder, etc - i love you all very much, and my life would be so much more painful without your friendships.)

but. even trying to focus on the good things i’ve built through rp has stopped being able to make rp worth it.

i’m constantly followed on all of my blogs (especially mario, for some reason?) by helluva/hazbin/bnha blogs or people who seem to literally only interact with the users on the blocklist i subscribe to. i went and checked, and although it seems i’ve only got five people blocked for this kind of stuff on coomer? i’ve blocked an impossible amount of people for this stuff, mostly for being hazbinnies. like probably 20+

more recently, this constant ignoring of boundaries really got to me. like. i don’t know what it was, honestly. maybe it is because that’s what this kind of behavior boils down to - it’s an ignoring of boundaries. and these boundaries shouldn’t be fucking hard to follow. on mario, especially. 

i fucking edited. the html. of mario’s theme. so that one cannot see the follow button on desktop, and have to click through to read the rules google doc to find the follow link. i made my boundaries very clear in the mobile header, so mobile users can see it. i’ve made pinned posts about it.

like. i don’t know what else to do. i shouldn’t have to do anything, really - it should be, y’know, understood, that no matter your own opinions on a fandom/media, someone’s boundaries are someone’s boundaries and they’re not up for debate, especially not when it’s at the fucking top of their rules regarding rp.

but that’s just the thing about tumblr, i guess. people just don’t give a shit and will not give a shit, i guess. and. it got to me. a hazbinnie followed me, asked if we could still rp. and something about that got to me, and i had a genuine breakdown and minor mental health emergency. i’m honestly still not at my best.

i guess it’s probably just the lasting impact of the other garbage experiences i’ve had on tumblr in quick succession finally catching up to me - if you know me, you’re probably familiar with the pedo-excusing fall of the cuphead rpc, and the su rpc.* *this. might count as a name drop, perhaps? but in my opinion, the behavior exhibited by the grown adults here warrants being mentioned, again and again, especially with how many people, myself included, were affected. i got namedropped and lied about to 40+ people, i don’t care about the feelings of borderline abusers who’ve already blocked me lol

anyway - i’m sorry for starting spongebob’s blog and then never doing anything with it, but even before these events, my faith in this website as a way to rp was already funky, and then genuinely being harmed by my own frustration really was the kicker. i definitely realize now i never should’ve made that blog at all.

that’s it, i guess. i realized that all trying to rp on tumblr (and possibly in general, tbh) is going to do is hurt me, and. i’m better than that. third time’s the charm and all that shit - this is the third time in very recent succession i’ve felt so low just because of rp. 

so, yeah. i’m out.

if we were in a discord server together, feel free to send me a friend request. i’m vaguely active on my personal tumblr if you want that, too, and have a dA for making adoptables and doing small ych/comms. but i really don’t have any intent of touching tumblr again for rp, and i’m most likely gonna be taking steps to prevent myself from returning again like giving access to my accounts to other people. it’s finally been proven to me that it’s just not worth it.

i’m gonna reblog this to the different blogs i have, and then log out for the last time. thanks for being here, i guess.

“Ah, hello -”

{ ✩ }

Well! Clearly this man is… not alright. Did something happen to him? None of it was Dede’s business as to why, of course, but perhaps he just needed a bit of help?

“We are by the library, sir. Is… there anywhere you need to be? I know the area very well, I could help you get there!

{ ★ }

Coomer exhales uneasily. A library. . . It feels like his brain lags. “Ah...”

He glances around vaguely, trying to take things in. Okay... The only issue is that the entire time he’s lived in the new apartment, he’s never seen a library in the city. Which is disconcerting, because this means he’s likely in somewhere else entirely. 

Don’t do this here. Be silent, something inside Coomer demands.

Hands grip each other tightly, Coomer trying to hide his discomfort. He exhales again, trying to generally keep it together. He didn’t expect to still feel so. Not Good, even after Waking Up and being conscious.

He jumps, scarpering a short distance away when Coomer broke the silence. Ari’s skittish at the best of times, doubly so without Stan backing him up and warning him of impending threats- as it stands, he can’t tell if this stranger means well or is subtly threatening him.

“I-it’s really not...” the boy concurs, willing to give Coomer the benefit of the doubt for now. “Are you okay?” The question is sincere; if it’s a bad part of town then neither of them should be here.

“Oh me? I’m perfectly capable,”

Dr. Coomer says, confident yet easy. At the same time he says this, he smoothly wipes the last of something red from his knuckle, keeping that then-stained palm hidden. All better! No need to frighten this beanpole of a kid, he thinks, thankful nothing else on him was dirtied. 

Coomer knows well the potential danger of this area, being partially the reason for that. But his attitude is vastly different when encountering a lonely lanky kid. (Especially now that Coomer’s already ‘worked’ for tonight and has happily filled his pockets.)

Sure, there’s a good portion of his time nowadays spent in control. Perfectly fine, and aware, and able to live his life. 

He tends the garden. He plays board games with Bubby. He spends time with Gordon and Joshua. 

He lives life. But of course, there are those moments... Something like dissociation, a loss of focus and obeying an unseen force that feels like it settled in the back of Coomer’s skull.

   It just makes it sink in, these moments -

You say, stuff is way Way to go Go away

Who had you was?

I yes you would  It was catastro-, catastro-feeling good!

“..!” He’s surprised for a moment, when he turns his head and sees the little witch entering his garden. A bit self-consciously, the hand not holding his goes to each of his sleeves to make sure they aren’t rolled up enough to show where his artificial skin ends... 

   “Hello there!”

One hand upon his chin with consideration, he reaches for one of the gold bars he’s gathered. 

He brings it to his mouth, and swallows it whole.