I get it that being ignorant makes you happy, just teach me how to not care like the others. Every love I have had I've loved so hard, I've given space and I have done everything in my power to keep it normal. When its with you, everything goes. The yelling, the throwing, the smashing. It doesn't ever go away like some think, it worsens every second you think about it then it vanishes. You say hello and we continue. Until its bad again. Until we're bad again.
I would be the smart one to say it should've been over the first time because that's when I grieved you and wished it wasn't over. But you are here. We are here. Ruining every good time we try to have and every conversation we try to have about this.
I talk to you every day. 3 times a day. I call you in the morning, call you on my lunch break, and when I get home. Then, I'll come and see you every day. Linear time literally breaks any time we are on the phone, and I cherish it as much as I take it for granted. But its not enough. Never was enough.
I am sick to my fucking stomach about feeling this way. Guilty, sorry for myself and fucking apathetic at the end of the day for the powers that be that set it up this way. Personal growth is great but without knowing myself I'll never break this fucking cycle. I can't love myself when its this way. Ill never find a way to balance these things this way.
This has nothing on the years we've spent together, but summer has never been good to us and our communication has gotten worse tenfold. I feel so fucking hollow and used up its ridiculous.
Throw me to the fucking wind like a paper bag.
titsay
blakekathryn
kaledo-art
origamiaround
kianamaiart
