a place called nowhere

smooth (by flora-file)

my dad was outside feeding the slugs cucumber slices earlier

he was like ‘thats the same one from last night!’ (he was feeding the slugs cucumber slices last night too) im like man you’ve been spending too much time with the neighbourhood slugs if you can tell them apart

Friendship comes in many forms. Don’t get in the way of a man and his friendly slug friends

you’re right sorry dad for my crimes

This made me laugh cus it’s actually really accurate. Like one time he called me downstairs to see the ‘cutest thing ever’ and it was three slugs of varying sizes eating cat food and he said ‘they are a family!! Just like us!!’

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

In the latter case, what they learned was something VERY IMPORTANT that will probably prevent a major catastrophe later?