pixleydust

We have had such a huge outpouring of love and support since Benny was born, it's been amazing. People often say "Tell me what I can do to help." It is not easy to accept help and I often draw a blank. But if there is one lesson that I've gotten from the experience of having a baby with special needs, it is this: Take the help. We are one day away from Operation Day, and I know that once I get into the hospital all of my energy will be focused completely in the present moment of getting through this difficult situation.  And I must remind myself that it isn't just a single day of surgery, but long days in the hospital after and weeks and weeks of recovery at home.  We do need your help, and we're going to need it for awhile. So here are the best ways to provide support for us during this time, and thank you in advance for whatever you are able to do. 1. Pray, visualize or think positive thoughts.  It doesn't matter to us how you pray or what you call it, we appreciate your thoughts and prayers for Benny. There is scientific evidence that praying for someone who is in the hospital can help them recover more quickly and with better outcomes.  Your prayers for Benny truly matter. 2. Wear a Team Benny or green shirt on Tuesday, December 9th. We have already been getting pictures of people rocking their Team Benny t-shirts posted on the Team Benny FaceBook page, and it is awesome!  It really lifts our spirit to see that people are sending their love and support in this way.  Wear your shirt (Team Benny if you have it, any green shirt if you don't) like it's Saint Patrick's Day on Tuesday, and send us your pictures via FaceBook, Email, Text or any way you please.  3. Bring us food and hugs During the many stays that we've already had at the Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children, we've come to realize an important fact. Hospital cafeteria food sucks. When Benny was first born our good friend Todd set up a little food train for us, and it was *so* nice to get those deliveries. Our out of town friends sent food via restaurants, and while we missed their company, it was still so helpful and appreciated.  For this next long haul, the lovely Kim Huss set up a meal train you can sign up for here. If you need to send food from afar, you can order gift cards for us from Morning Glory Cafe, Thai Monkey Club or the Pho Cafe. 4. Give Caspian extra love This poor kid became a big brother just weeks before starting middle school. It's the worst! He absolutely adores Benny. This surgery (and the possibility that he could lose his brother) terrifies him. He is in great need of emotional support from friends and family. He will be in Santa Barbara with my sister Leise the week of the surgery.  If you're in the area, give him love in person. If not, leave messages of support for him in the comments section of his site, babybenjamin.weebly.com. 5. Buy a shirt or just chip in a few bucks We are already struggling to keep up with the medical bills that have been coming in from the delivery, NICU and two hospital stays we've had so far. We have good insurance, but those co-pays and deductibles add up fast!  So many of our loved ones have been asking for shirts but weren't able to buy them from Pork Chop Press in time, or are asking if they can just donate, so we've decided to set up a campaign on booster.com. You can buy a shirt here anytime in the next two weeks, we really appreciate it. We have already received so much support and we are so grateful. This is an incredibly stressful time and I don't know how we would have made it through without the wonderful people who have stepped in to give us a helping hand.   Thank you all so much!

My first assignment for my Stanford Technology Entrepreneurship class was to write about a local successful startup. I was excited to find out that techstars, the highly successful startup accelerator company, was founded right here in Boulder in 2006.  So this is what I wrote for my class.

Techstars is a highly selective mentorship-driven startup accelerator. It touts itself as the "#1 startup accelerator in the world", and that might just be an accurate assessment.  They accept only 1% of their applicants, so having your startup accepted to techstars is an impressive accomplishment in itself.  Selected applicants participate in a three month long boot-camp type program where they are guided by mentors, given $100,000 in initial seed money, and connected with angel investors and venture capitalists for additional funding.  

Techstars is a great example of a highly successful startup company.  It held its first program in 2007 with 10 companies, 8 of which were funded. To date the company has funded 204 active startups, 24 that were acquired and 28 that have failed.  The company was featured in a reality tv series on Bloomberg TV in 2011, and is now in 7 locations, including it's first overseas program in London.  They help about 100 companies a year and have over $70 million under management.  This is a phenomenal amount of success for a company that only started seven years ago.

This success is no surprise when looking at the company's founder and CEO, David Cohen.  Cohen knew what it took to run a successful startup - he had already founded and run two successful companies prior to the launch of techstars, as well as a "graceful failure" in between.  

This experience was helpful in a myriad of ways.  First and foremost, Cohen understood what other people building startups really needed, and what was missing from the current market.  This understanding of need was the foundation of the business idea.  Because it came from personal experience, not just market research or a desire to make big bucks, Cohen was able to tap into an unmet need in the market, and develop the business concept based on meeting that need.

Second, Cohen developed a program that he really cared about.  He was passionate about helping start ups to succeed.  This passion to help others was a win-win proposition for everyone.  The better the start ups did, the better techstars did.  

Third, Cohen knew from experience that he couldn't build a successful company alone.  He used his contacts to form a dynamite team with Brad Feld, Jared Polis and David Brown.  All were experienced entrepreneurs and investors who understood the needs of both start ups and investors.

Fourth, Cohen and his team used their great wealth of experience to avoid some of the pitfalls that inexperienced entrepreneurs might have gone through.    Their first program was a huge success right out of the bat.  This is rare on many levels when you look at the statistics of typical startups.  They understood what a start up needed to be successful and they created a successful model both for their own company and for the companies that went through the program.  They couldn't have done this without their combined years of experience. 

Lastly, they used their connections to build a network of investors, mentors and clients.  This was key to their success on every level.  For their model to work they needed to attract top talent, which they could not have done if they weren't already connected.  Then they needed to provide not only an excellent program but mentors and investors.  Without their contacts going in, techstars would never have been able to get off the ground.

Based on this case study, an entrepreneur looking to found a successful startup should start with something they understand well and are passionate about.  They should then build a team that also understands and is passionate about the startup.  The team should use their combined knowledge to create a business model, or if the team is less experienced, they should bring in mentors.  Finally, the entrepreneur should tap into the networks of everyone on the team.  No matter what your business model is, without people, there is no business.  

Today was our big presentation day at BDW.  We had a week to figure out how to get people in Haiti to use condoms.  That's not a big task or anything, right?

It was a really great week.  My team was very collaborative and well balanced in terms of our various strengths.  We spent a lot of time doing research and asking questions to get a better picture of what life is like in Haiti.  This really paid off, and we were able to come up with what I think is a really strong campaign based on our insights from our research.

The presentation itself wasn't crazy or flashy, we had spent most of our time gaining better understanding of the real problem, figuring out where people's interactions really lie, and developing a campaign that would meet them where they were.

It will be interesting to see what happens from here.  I would love it if some of our ideas made it to the world.  I really believe that there were some great ideas there.

Now I'm working on my online Technology Entrepreneurship class from Stanford.  I'm really excited about the content, but have to admit that the instructor and the online format are a little bit of a challenge for me.  It's so easy to hit pause and come back to it later.

I'm going to try to keep with it though.  Even though we'll be covering many of these concepts at BDW, I think it will be helpful to get the additional perspective from the Stanford class.

My husband thinks I'm crazy.  He may be right.

We'll see if I can manage to juggle this online course in addition to my full time grad school program.  My first assignment is to come up with an example of a successful startup and list the reasons that the startup is successful.  I love this.  I've never done that before, and I think it will be very illuminating.

The decision to come to BDW was a difficult one to sell to my friends and family because it was hard to articulate why I needed to go. The program focuses on design, technology and entrepreneurship. I already have a fairly extensive background in all three of these areas.

About ten years ago I took a 13 month long, 875 hour Interactive Media Certificate Program. We learned so many different software applications and techniques that it was ridiculous. We spent the most time on the main stuff you need for design - Illustrator, Photoshop and InDesign - and for web design - html, CSS, Flash and Dreamweaver. I understand the difference between a vector and raster based image, how to use the pen tool, what kerning and leading is, basic design principles, how the internet works, and which tool to use when and why.

While I was in the Interactive Media Certificate Program I took a three week long entrepreneurship workshop. After I graduated from the program and moved up to Santa Barbara, I took another 14 week long entrepreneurship training class, the Self Employment Training Program, through Women’s Economic Ventures. By the end of the program I had a solid business plan, and a basic understanding of everything it takes to start and run a new company.

After that I went through the best entrepreneurship training course there is - I started my own business. I wrote and updated my business plan and cash flow projections, filed my fictitious business name license and got a license from the city of Santa Barbara to officially start my company.

For five years I struggled to make my business work. I did my own marketing, sales, pr, client negotiations, proposal and contract writing and produced, directed, shot, edited and distributed videos for my own projects and for clients. I did hire someone to help me with bookkeeping and accounting, and occasionally to help me with the video work, but mostly I handled every aspect of the business myself.

When my business model proved to be economically unsustainable I left and started working full time for lynda.com, an online training company best known for their software training videos. While working on courses for lynda, I was also absorbing a lot of information. I learned a lot about design, technology and business.

So when I told people that I wanted to go to a program for design, technology and entrepreneurship almost everyone replied with “Don’t you already know all that stuff?”

And yes, to a certain extent I do know all that stuff. I certainly know a lot more about that stuff than the average person. But I didn’t know what I really wanted to know. I didn’t know how to turn what I know into what I do.

My bachelor’s degree is in Film and Video, and all of my work experience is related to that field. I love making movies. I love writing, I love directing, I love editing. But when I started a production company, it was terrible. I waffled back and forth between wanting to do my own projects and working for clients. I was stressed about finances all the time, and with good reason, I never had quite enough coming in to pay all of my expenses.

Despite what I had learned in the various programs I had attended, I wasn’t able to apply it successfully to what I was doing. I had learned the tools of the trade, the technical aspects of how to produce videos and run a business, but I hadn’t figured out how to be truly successful at it.

And now, in retrospect, I never truly wanted to be successful at that. I had set up a service based company that relied on my creative juices, drained them dry and left me spiritually and financially empty.

Even my job at lynda, which seemed so wonderful at first, had come up short in the end. When I worked for myself I had all of the autonomy I could want, but none of the stability. When I worked for lynda I had all of the stability I could want, but none of the autonomy.

And now, here I am, in my thirties, and suddenly everything that I’ve been working for all this time has come up empty. I don’t know what I want to do or be exactly, I just know that it needs to be different from what I’ve done before.

Leaping into a new career after over fifteen years of experience in a very refined, specialized skill-set isn’t easy, especially without a great amount of confidence. Confidence is something that I do not have in great supply.

The first day of classes at BDW we were asked to introduce ourselves and say what superpower we would pick if we could choose. I chose to have confidence in myself in everything that I wanted to do. Afterwards I wished that I had said something else, something much cooler, because confidence seems like a really lame superpower compared to flying or being invisible or having super strength. But I chose it because I think that the biggest thing that has held me back in my life has been my lack of confidence.

I’ve been in a period of transition my entire life. I am always seeking to improve myself, better my situation and make the world around me a better place. These are all pretty ambitious goals, and at times I overwhelm myself with them. I bash myself continually for not living up to my unachievable expectations. I know it doesn’t make sense, and I’ve been trying to work on it, but it’s a bad habit that has contributed to this low confidence problem.

And after three weeks at BDW I can honestly say that I do feel more confident. And contrary to what people might think, I actually do have a LOT to learn about design, technology and entrepreneurship. I don’t think I could ever stop learning, there is so much to know.

The foundation that I already had has been incredibly helpful in understanding and applying what we’ve learned so far, but every day that we’ve had class I’ve come home feeling like my brain is squashed with the weight of all the new information contained in it.

I’m still figuring out where I want to be at the end of this year, but I do know that I want to have achieved that superpower. I want to have confidence in everything that I do. I want to feel that I have the ability to make the changes that I want to make in the world.I want to feel that I have a lot to contribute to the world and that I am invaluable in some way.

I have a lot of start up ideas that I’d like to explore, and I would love to be able to take one of them to fruition. I would love to have a great team to do that with. I never want to be that solo-preneur again, trying to push that big rock up alone.

I’m also open to the idea that maybe I’ll find a new career through my experience at BDW. Given the right amount of creative liberty, respect and autonomy, I could enjoy working for a company that I believed in again.

Whatever happens, I know that my decision to go to BDW is the right one. I am completely electrified by the excitement of being a part of such a fun, engaging learning experience. Just in these first few weeks I already feel more alive, more passionate, and more confident than I have in a long time.

Here is some flood preparedness advice from my friend Amber who has experienced hurricanes, tied in with my own recent experience of having to evacuate our home quickly.  I hope this is helpful for anyone who is in a flood situation:

1. As soon as you hear that you are at risk for flooding, start packing:

- pack your bags as if you were going on a week long vacation. Take clothes, toiletries, medicine, etc.

- If you have pets, get their carriers and necessities out and ready to go.  

- Put together important paperwork like social security cards, passports, etc. and put it in your bag.

- Pack up your laptops, hard-drives, cameras, important photo albums and priceless valuables.  (If you don't have room, put these up in a high, safe spot, or follow tip # 2)

- Try to stay calm, take deep breaths and think positive thoughts.

2. If you have time to pack up, and you happen to have a boat or inflatable pool, put the inflatable in the middle of a room and load it with anything that you want to save but don't have room to take with you. (Amber told me a story of a family who loaded a small boat in their living room with photo albums before they left for shelter.  As the water flooded into the room, the boat rose, and their photo albums were kept safe.)

3. Place valuable objects up as high as you can, inside sealed plastic containers if possible.

4. Amber suggested sealing off doors with duct tape, and piling bags of rice along the bottoms.  The rice will absorb a lot of water and slow it down.  

5. Do a crawl check.  Crawl around your home and observe what's down there.  Unplug things from electrical outlets and place important items up as high as you can.  Use plastic bags to tie up the bottoms of tables and chairs.

6. Stay out of the water.  In California everyone knows you don't surf or swim after a big storm, or you risk bouts of chronic bronchitis and other nasty infections.  Flood water is full of run-off toxins like pesticides, gas, oil and sewage.  Yuck!  Not only that, but if a dam bursts suddenly upstream you could suddenly be caught up in a wall of water.  Don't be a soggy naked corpse found downstream.  Be smart. 

7. Stay aware of road closures and where the flooding is so that you can get to safety.  We chose to leave early and were lucky to get out before roads flooded and collapsed, but not everyone was so lucky.  There is always a lot of misinformation during major disasters, get your information from as official of a source as you can - local news stations and official government sites usually have fairly accurate information.  Random guy on twitter may or may not.

8.  If you are told to leave, get your loved ones and get out.  Your life is more important than your stuff.

9. As you leave, turn off your lights and shut down your breakers if you can.  Water hitting electricity can cause sparks which can lead to fires.  

10.  Head to high ground, find a safe place and wait it out.  

Here is a video from today that my husband took for our landlord.  He is with our son in our backyard, looking at the creek levels that have risen up and are threatening to flood our home...

When I heard the flood alert last night, it took me a minute to recognize that this was not one of the monthly system tests.  What followed was a desperate attempt to decipher the words that blared over the alarm system.

It was sort of like trying to figure out what one of Charlie Brown's teachers is saying in the old cartoons, except for that this time it really mattered.

Before I moved to Boulder I lived in Southern California for over ten years.  I've had my share of fires, floods and earthquakes.  I do not take it lightly when I hear an alert, because I know that alerts are not sent out lightly.  Still, for some reason, I hesitated.

I called a classmate that lives nearby.  "Everyone is running to their cars, I don't know what's going on." he said. "I'll call you back."  My husband suggested that I call our neighbors from down the street.  "We're leaving." he said.  "We've never heard that alert before."  Knowing that our neighbors had lived in the area for over ten years, we decided not to take any chances.  We packed up our stuff quickly, and left for a friends house on dry land.

There's something about being in the midst of a possible major disaster that is eye opening.  You must decide what is important and what's not, and you must do it quickly.  I found myself walking around in circles while my husband packed up our important paperwork and electronics.  I would walk into a room and look around in a daze, set something up higher or slip it into a bag, and wander out.  In the end I put all of my photo albums up on the very top of a high bookshelf, and grabbed a few pillows.  That was it.  We made it out with our laptops and paperwork, our son, dog and a goose egg.

The goose egg is a funny story.  The friend who had offered to let us stay at her house has a son Finn, who is about Caspian's age.  A few weeks ago she had invited us to a party at a mansion on a lake with a small private island.  There was a boat on the island, and Caspian and Finn paddled around and traveled to another nearby island.  They came back with a large egg.  

"That's a goose egg." I said, irritated.  "Now it's never going to hatch because its mother won't come back after you've touched it."  Later I regretted being so harsh, but I felt bad for the unborn chick.

After some debate, we decided we would try to incubate the egg, and that Caspian and Finn would take turns taking care of it.  We had ended up with the first incubation period, and were overdue on returning it to Finn's care.  (Not that his mother minded.)

The egg is probably not viable, and will most likely never hatch.  Still, I took it in my hands to keep it warm on the car ride over.  It felt heavy, as if there might really be a baby chick inside.  I sent comforting thoughts to it.   "It's okay, you're safe.  We'll take care of you."

I have several good friends who have lost their homes to fire.  If you lived in Santa Barbara between 2007 and 2008, you know people who have lost their homes, or have lost your own.  There were four major fires over the course of a year.  At a certain point everyone in the entire city was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Having been evacuated so many times myself had really put things in perspective.  Everything is temporary.  Things are only things, but still, we have so much tied up in them.  Our memories, our hard work, our emotions.  It can be paralyzing trying to choose.

I remember a friend who made it out minutes before her entire house went down in flames.  She took her daughter, her dog and her computer hard-drive with her photos on it.  That's it.  Another friend had been napping.  I had called her when a mutual friend pointed out a plume of smoke coming from the hill by her house.  I asked her if she was in danger.

"I can see the fire from my window." she said.  I told her to get out, and asked her if she needed any help.  "No, I'm okay." she said.

She didn't take anything with her.  She just got up, got in her car and drove away.  She forgot everything, and only later did she realize the extent of her loss.  All of her belongings burned to a crisp, there was nothing salvageable.  

But she's alive, and that is what is important.  Still, I know she still mourns that loss.  It is a charred mark across her past.  In one moment, a lifetime of collected belongings is gone.  And you must move forward, like a Phoenix rising from the flames, and continue with your life.

Today I am not worried about fire, I am worried about water.  We returned home this morning after hearing from our neighbor that our house was fine.  The creek had became a raging river, bulging up to the edge of our yard.  Our son started singing a sad song, "Please stop raining, I don't want to die.  Please protect everyone from the water."  I told him he could go watch cartoons and relax for a little bit.

My husband has come in, while I sat here writing, and informed me that authorities have said that two of four dams have collapsed, and he is worried that we are in danger, and that we need to get out now.  Our cars are both loaded up, we are ready to go, and still I'm here writing.  I hope that our house is high enough, that the creek will not get much higher, that all of this worrying and packing and putting things up as high as they can go will have been for nothing, and that soon we will come home to a safe, dry home.