been reminiscing about certain things, and it's so baffling to me: the level of humiliation both cassie and lexi are subjected to in euphoria (not only them, but they've definitely been a highlight this season) via unending, ruthless satire — no longer hidden between the lines, like in s1 and 2 (yes, they were satirical), but now rather screaming in people's faces.
thing is — many modern younger girls are incredibly insecure; it doesn't matter whether they're popular, people pleasers, girl bosses, unpopular, average: the shadow of never-ending, immense "judgement" (not cool enough, not hot enough, not pious or pure enough, not achieving enough, not outgoing enough) is suspended over them like the sword of damocles at all times, all the time, and it draws their life-force and freedom from them for as long as they're under its power. this is how the majority of youth circles are wired today (not all!! but this is the type that is widespread, and it deserves to be acknowledged). this is worse than "your performance is off" rhetoric; this is an "optimise your core" rhetoric laid bare and enforced through peer pressure. and it is heavy, and it is inescapable. what do you think it leads to?
it doesn’t matter whether the girls "learn to ignore the shadow" or not; in certain (again, not all, and it helps if you're a confident person who knows how to regulate environment and help people get loose, but let's be honest how many younger girls are Like This??) circles the presence of heavy judgement is inevitable. the heavy judgement is persistent, ruthless, and it is absolutely personality forming — to a degree that no "trauma" or personal "in-family disturbances" could compare to. to a degree that no "male circle" bullying could compare to either.
the tragedy of both cassie and lexi as polar opposites is in the fact that they're both right, to a degree, and logical in their behaviours. I associate myself with neither cassie nor lexi, but I remember a semiclose friend from the past (whom I've long since lost contact with) who matched cassie's pattern heavily. the only difference is she looked and acted 15 (not the mature lady with large tits that cassie is portrayed as AT ALL), so it was significantly harder for her to pull off the "hot queen" cassie shtick as easily. but god fucking knows she tried. lip injections (ad nauseum), hair extensions, lashes, nails, push ups etc.. because otherwise? she was sidelined, bullied, overlooked and put at the bottom of the social ladder in the group (and she was already a good looking girl without all that glam, mind you, extremely pretty; not trad, just cute, genuine, playful, open).
my friend did everything to conform. she achieved what she was looking for: her peers acceptance, party invites, other girls support. what do you think, did any of this give her the boys' attention (love specifically) she was looking for? hard fucking no. they made her chase them, beg for them, prioritise them, FUCKING PAY FOR THEM. not only she paid the "pretty tax", she was also expected to pay the "sex tax" as well. which is an insane thing for an ALREADY PRETTY 19YO GIRL TO EVEN CONSIDER. and the guys weren't particularly bad or even raging misogynists; they had a semblance of common sense. but they thought, for some reason, that her looks meant they could become selfish with her. after all, "they had other options".
I will never forget how she texted me, asking for advice and describing a situation: "hey, this guy we're sort of together with says that I'm supposed to allow him to come and go when he wants, then pay for him. also I'm supposed to let his friends STAY AT MY HOUSE AT ANY TIME he demands, because he knows I only have two sisters hanging there most of the time, and he thinks they could make space. what should I do?".
I told her that she should respect herself and start putting boundaries. that she should start carrying herself with the same openness, genuineness and self-respect/self-containment she used to before she started to adapt herself to the demands of the circle (at 17). that she shouldn't stop believing in guys altogether, but rather start choosing those who will show RESPECT and be ready to care for her: out of basic human decency, not desperation. she said, "if I tell him this, he will dump me". and sure as hell he soon did. he had "other options".
imagine this situation times fucking 1000 and seen constantly. imagine the much worse disrespect and carelessness a man could give you if you slip up in your behaviour while chasing either domination or conformity (allow them a little more than you should without having a leverage over them). imagine the depths of "I will use you in a plethora of ways" from an attention spoiled, degenerate young man that you're forced to witness or, even worse, desire and endure. yeah, the resulting behaviour would be lexi.
without a proper support system and time to reflect, the friend situation is how you get either cassie or a radical feminist. the last paragraph is how you get lexi — the voice of reason that starts to sound like a "never-ending judgement", because it's the only way to remind people they deserve dignity without inviting radical feminism, the only way to protect yourself from the same fate of unending extraction.
there really is nothing to humiliate or make fun of here.
what was euphoria mocking again?
