Wall of Copy Shame

An entirely flawless, evenly sculpted goddess is just as probable as a unicorn — maybe they are real in another world, but not in this one.

The controversy stems from an American entertainment show back in the 1830’s, The Minstrel Show.

Now with the 2012-13 season over for the [basketball team], the head coach said he feels a sense of pride despite the disappoint that accompanies a three-win season.

The club provided markers and paper for people to draw the women who inspire them the most. Looming among the marker drawings were familiar faces such as Rosie the Riveter, Beyonce and Mother Earth. Some of the drawings of the faces were not as infamously recognizable, but the people behind the visage were just as inspirational.

But of course it isn’t all bad and it wouldn’t be entirely truthful to ignore the excitement that is building for our growingly real futures.

Halloween revamped itself in the form of the Jewish holiday of Purim on Thursday night, as university students and area residents flocked in costume-clad to the Events Center on campus to celebrate the 22nd annual Purim Carnival. ~and~ Jason, a freshman majoring in accounting, showed up dressed as a woman in tight pants, a wig and a belly-baring shirt. ~and~ One person dressed as a cowgirl was ironically riding a mechanical bull, which was one of the more popular attractions.

Average is probably the best size, speaking from a purely scientific perspective. I mean, average is average for a reason. We’ve evolved to typically have genitals of a certain size so it’s easier to procreate with the types of people who were available to our ancestors. ~and~ Unless you’re a guy having sex with a guy, there isn’t really anything on the inside of another human being that you need to be super-long to reach.

The program sometimes hands out goody bags to the children after the events, but at times they have had to be careful in order not to give children dangerous objects that are too sharp or generally harmful to throw around, in order to avoid parental complaint.

To a boy at a bar: Hey, boy. What’s going on? See that girl? You’re sort of checking her out, but can’t tell if she’s really pretty or beer pretty. Well regardless, go talk to her. Either that or she’ll talk to you. It doesn’t matter anyway, neither of you will remember who started the conversation. Now that you’ve finally met her, say something interesting. You’ll start telling her about the time you spent studying in Paris. She’ll pretend to be really intrigued, but she’s actually trying to figure you out - point out your flaws. You see, until now, every boy this girl has ever met has been flawed. Not flawed in a physical sense. That stuff never matters much. But flawed in a way that can leave a girl empty and crying for weeks. Lo and behold, not long after knowing you, the girl will find your flaw. It will make her mad; furious. And quite simply, she will write you off. She won’t waste her time with this sort of foolishness. She won’t be surprised though; nobody finds love at a bar. Well like always, the girl will be wrong. I met a boy at a bar once. He was handsome and said all the right things. So naturally, I thought he was a complete idiot. I didn’t expect anything to come of our relationship; I thought quite early on that I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted nothing more than a cordial friendship with him. Life never works out the way you expect. Two years later, I look back on that night, dear boy, as the night I met the love of my life. I try to pinpoint the moment I knew that you were incredible and quite honestly, I think I always knew. You terrify me because I still cannot quite understand how or why I deserve you. You tell me you love me even when you’re asleep. You work at a job you’re overqualified for just to help pay the bills. You make amazing meals. You do the laundry. You love our dog. You are a brother to my sisters. My family loves you. Most importantly, you are the best friend I have ever had. On this Valentine’s day, two years after that initial night at the bar, I would like to let you know how truly special you are to me. We don’t have a lot of money right now, so I hope you don’t mind me giving you this letter instead. Thank you for telling me you love me in your sleep. Thank you for going to work at 3 a.m. every day. Thank you for cooking for me. Thank you for doing laundry. I hate laundry. Thank you for being great with Tila. Thank you for being great with the girls. Thank you for being a wonderful part of my family. Thank you, my love, for being my best friend. Happy Valentine’s Day, Aaron. I love you. P.S. Now that everyone knows we met at a bar, we’ll have to stop telling our grandparents that we were introduced by our mutual friends, Tom and Marty.

The not-so-shocking problem with first impressions is that you only get one.

To be honest, a lot of people could probably care less what they did if the someone they were with was kind of a stranger.

Although much of the audience was composted of library staff and faculty, Larrivee said students will find that the secondary information often used during research is easily accessible.

As we finally made our way to the gym where I work, the little girl told me I was pretty. She asked if I was a student. My response: 'Yes, I am a student. That’s how I got pretty, actually. Please stay in school. Promise me. Please'

A self-proclaimed “disciple of the Universe,” Frim wishes to spread the music by giving musicians a place to call home and a group to call family.

Oakdale Mall is a shopping center like any other major shopping center. You have the Hot Topic awkwardly placed in between and near Abercrombie and American Eagle. Victoria’s Secret is there, of course, there are gift shops, you smell that Cinnabon smell, there are the kids stores, the gap, and then there are the video games stores. Two video game stores. Two Game Stops. Two exactly identical stores. Wait, why are there two Gamestops in this mall? A puzzled and curious Binghamton student would also discover that online, the second Gamestop is referred to as “Gamestop.com” And as though it wasn’t a paradox enough for there to be two stores of exactly the same kind, apparently the second Gamestop is a physical representation of the internet site Gamestop.com. This was worthy of investigation. Most college students are curious about this. Some major games have come out this season. Assasins Creed III, Pokemon Black/White, Halo 4, Call of Duty Black Ops II. The list goes on and on. And so most college students eager to buy these games and take a break from studying have arrived to this curious question and a series of dilemma upon their purchases. For example: “Yo dude, I told you to meet me at Gamestop.” “Bro, I’m at Gamestop.” “What are you saying man, I’m right here. Hurry up, I want to play Halo 4 already” “Game Store Clerk *who overhears conversation* “Oh, there’s another Gamestop.” Student: “…What..?” “Ok man, hold on , I’m walking to the Gamestop.” Student 2: “I thought you were at the Gamestop.” These conversations persist. And so Release has decided to get to the bottom of this dilemma. Why are there two Gamestops at the mall? Do they have multi purposes, and is one of them an actual physical construction of the internet? The questions are answered. So, before, there was a Gamestop and an EB Games. Gamestop decided it was a superior company to EB Games, and decided to buy it out. Monopolies and all that kinda stuff. And so when Gamestop bought out EB games, they decided to use the video game store as a secondary storage space for Gamestop. But there are still questions like are these gamestops “like in competition with each other?” The Gamestops are not in competition with each other. It does not up business at all and just serves as another awkward location for storage space. The second gamestop is also not a physical representation of the internet. Yes, your employment can be transferred to the second gamestop. We asked two employees. So if you’re not happy at the first game stop, maybe the second gamestop will have just the right atmosphere. Just kidding. They’re completely the same. (Or are they…) Yes, they sometimes do call the other gamestop to ask if that other gamestop has the game. Yes, it is completely awkward and will always be somewhat confusing. But then new questions come up like, which game stop is cooler? Which has more vibe? Questions to diffuse, and while the origin of the second Gamestop is solved, it’s mysterious allure and appeal still stands.

He whipped out his laptop, plugged it into the house speakers and starting blasting Meatloaf’s Bat Out Of Hell in celebration (an odd choice for a seven year old girl’s birthday party, but hey- he was the boss.) The birthday girl was just about to start opening presents when out of nowhere Meatloaf cut out and Window’s Media Player cued up a video home to an exchange that went something like this: “Hey, you must be the plumber.” “Yeah, want me to show you my pipe?” I looked up at the patron I was serving. Then, in front almost two dozen 7 year olds, the audio from a hardcore porno started blasting, “Oh yeah! Harder! Put it in my ass!” Like a bat out of hell our manager came running from his back office, slammed his laptop shut and stared, in total shock at the birthday girl’s parents who were on the verge of tears. I turned back to my customer and asked, “You said Love It, right?”