push-up pinup

something from the journal today: 

I AM sorry that my problems seemed to have affected you. I apologize for being “strange” or “too much” for your capable hands to handle. For whatever burden I have laid onto your chest, I’m sorry. 

but I AM not sorry for my “problems”. I will not apologize for being afraid of men or spiders. I will not hide my anxieties, depression, or ptsd for you comfort. 

I AM a survivor, a warrior, a queen, and a jewel. Parts of me you have ungracefully excused yourself from. My burdens are only my own, your task was to listen, but even a simple job you couldn’t handle. 

Its wonderful. I love it so much. HOWEVER, I am having a lot of problems and I’m starting to get frustrated. 

1. I actually do not have my Visa. Not for a lack of trying. I have been missing a document from my abroad program in order to apply and have contacted them about it several times. They are saying they never received any of my messages, so now (being enrolled in the program and technically a tourist not a student with a visa) we are rushing to find a way to apply for a visa without sending me back home. And it sucks...because I feel like I’m being treated as if it’s all my fault when I have tried on SEVERAL OCCASIONS and very AGGRESSIVELY (might I add) to get my needed documents so this wouldn’t happen!!!