ᴠɪᴏʟᴇᴛ ʟɪɢʜᴛ

                             ❝ 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘘𝘜𝘌𝘙𝘚 𝘈𝘓𝘓 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧. ❞

[ #PINKRINGED: est.  2021.   ind. & selective . crossover friendly.  mostly pre52 + headcanon based. minors dni.  CAROL FERRIS from dc comics by monty 22 ( she / her) also on xebelean goldignis & aeaean ]

                            𝔡𝔬𝔠.     𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔯.

© © © 

LUKE HAD BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT ALL WEEK. scott was taking the two of them to a baseball game like he promised. the kid was practically bouncing off the walls telling kyle everything he knew about the mets (again.) like everything else he did— it made her heart swell, but there was still a lingering pain that persisted.

lucas christopher ferris reminded her of scott everyday.

it made her think of the day he gave carol the old jersey she was wearing today. the blue fabric still practically swallowed her whole, even when it was unbuttoned. she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and was hit with a wave of nostalgia and shame. why was she doing this? wearing a low cut tank top under the jersey like it was college— like it was a date.

HE CAN’T EXPLAIN THEIR CONNECTION but sometimes he thinks it lives solely in his head or that he’s just feeling leftover remnants of his childhood crush. but then she looks at him like that and inches towards him and suddenly, he’s transfixed. 

she’s so much different than he expected, but the star he knows of and the woman he met are two different people. the reality of carol is that she’s so deeply human in her experiences that it makes her the most comforting person in the world to be around. and when they’re on set like this after hours when everyone’s packed up and gone home, it feels like they’re the only two people in the world. and he likes that.

he likes that more than he knows how to tell her.

❛ thats not true. tons of guys are dying to spend a night alone with you like this. ❜ he adds a bit jokingly to lighten the mood, ❛ i should know, i was one of them. ❜

IF SOMEONE HAD TOLD HER that she was willing seeking out conversation with a summers brother- she likely would’ve laughed. yet here she was, trying to comfort about some woman she didn’t know- or care about really. it was the least she could do for the only person in her life who treated her like an actual person, something she hadn’t had since the lorna incident.

another reason she shouldn’t be doing this— he was connected to lorna. albeit through that idiot alex, but still. the pain was still there.

carol almost felt bad for smoking earlier. the thought of the smell souring the experience for scott, how there was a chance that whenever he thought of her the scent just plagued him. it wasn’t enough for her to stop. she couldn’t yet, they were still filming. but he made it so tempting to try and quit again, just so tender conversations weren’t littered with the smell.

IT’S  ALL  ABOUT  THE  YEARNING @pinkringed​ sent: ❝  look,  i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now.  but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here.  ❞

HOW DID HE GET HERE? how did a guy like him even end up working on a movie set, let alone the kind that she was on. she was larger than life, and he remembers her show being on television when he was a kid. and he’s just…her ex co-star’s brother. the guy who does technical work on her new set.

but here she is, asking him to stay.

maybe he’s just feeling the depression of his engagement falling through, but she’s right about another thing: the draw he feels to her is magnetic. the strength of her character is awe-inspiring, and every time he learns something else about her past it makes him want to protect her even more. maybe that’s what this was…they’ve recognized a loneliness in each other that feels so familiar, they can fill it with each other.

❛ i… ❜ he relaxes around her, letting her lean in closer to him and taking her hands in his. ❛ i’m glad you’re the one who’s here. i want you to be. ❜ 

LOGISTICALLY SHE SHOULDN’T BE HERE to help. she had an early call time and a long day ahead of her, but it wasn’t like anyone expected anything from her on set. they hired her just to be the generic eye candy in the movie, it wasn’t like they actually cared about her audition. and she hated every second of it.

the only person who took her seriously on the set was scott.

maybe that’s why she was here consoling him about an engagement that she truthfully didn’t really care about. it was a way to try and get herself out of the emotional debt she felt towards him— all because he had common decency. something she was rarely given in this life.

IT’S A STRANGE THING, how one person can make someone so happy and sad at the same time. being around carol makes him remember what its like just to be alive, a reminder of how to enjoy the little things life has to offer. but it feels like a knife in his heart every time he bears witness to the fact that she can’t see how special she is. 

❛ no one’s too special for you. you’re too good for them. ❜ he says, still holding on to her hand and giving it a light squeeze. for a moment its almost like as time went by, his affection only grew. because carol was never just an ex girlfriend –she was carol. an almost, a maybe…a force of nature he simply felt drawn to no matter how much time had passed. 

the noise in the background gets drowned out by her and the closeness they share, like they’re the only two people in the world. closing some of the distance between them, he holds her gaze. ❛ i wish i woulda been there for you. ❜ 

MAYBE THINGS WOULD’VE BEEN DIFFERENT if she believed all of the loving words and gestures. staying might’ve been an option in his head, maybe he would’ve come back after he met his dad. if she wasn’t so damaged maybe he would’ve chosen her— but no one was ever going to do that. not for carol ferris.

❛ you sound like sharon. ❜ it was so easy for her to brush off compliments like that. she was always certain people didn’t really mean it, why would they? she was carol ferris— people made it clear early on that she wasn’t a good person, even as a kid. why else was her father so distant from her? he was a cold person in general, but to be even colder to his child? something had to be wrong with her. ❛ you two are the only people who think that… ❜

WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER, HE SEES LIGHT. he’s constantly in awe of the women she’s become, her resilience and how she moves heaven and earth for her son. she’s always amazed him, and he’d tell her that much all the time when they were in college together. but for some reason, carol never saw that in herself. 

❛ he sounds like a special guy. ❜ he says, smiling just a little. because if carol loved him, he must have been something to marvel at –even if scott thinks he’s a total bum for leaving her and their son like that. ❛ and it takes two great parents to have a kid as special as luke –so either way, you’re gonna have to believe me that you’re incredible, carol. ❜ he adds, teasing just a little despite the truth in his words. 

but his expression falters when the conversation veers towards his own father. ❛ i didn’t know what to expect. and you had graduation and i didn’t want to take that from you just because i was missing mine. ❜ he pauses, avoiding eye contact for the time being. ❛ i didn’t think it all through…how lonely i’d be once i got here, how scared i was gonna be to meet him… ❜ 

IF SHE COULD PAUSE A MOMENT and keep living it forever, she would. she knew she missed him after he left, but it was times like this when she forgot just how much she depended on him. how much she needed his soft words of comfort telling her she wasn’t horrible. how he took the time to scale the walls around her heart instead of trying to knock them down.

❛ yeah… he just knew he was too special for someone like me. ❜ once carol saw the life he’d built for himself she knew it was true. he was successful, he had a smart bombshell doctor of a fiancée, and she was still trying to make ends meet by waitressing— her degree doing nothing but collecting dust. ❛ not if my apparent stubbornness has anything to say about it. ❜ she lets out a quiet huff, only somewhat teasing.

HE NOTICES SOMETHING IN HER THAT’S DIFFERENT. carol never really spoke about anyone that way –certainly not him when they were dating. but there’s something different about the way she speaks about luke’s father –this mystery guy she hooked up with sometime after scott left to find his father– she loved him.

and more importantly, she loves her son. his thoughts about this guy aside, he does smile when he hears her go on about what a great kid luke is. and she doesn’t even realize it, but she’s contributed more to how he was raised than anyone –there’s so much of her in him. 

❛ that’s where you’re wrong, carol. there’s so much of you in that kid…his stubbornness for one. when he puts his mind to something, he’s gonna figure it out. and he’s smart –not just book smart, but he knows how to pull some strings to get what he wants. and he has this radiance about him that just…draws people in. ❜ a beat. ❛ just like you. ❜

when she reaches for him, he puts his whisk down and takes her hand. ❛ my dad just…wasn’t the guy i thought he was. he wanted me to think he was dead even after he knew i wasn’t. and maybe our parents were awful, but i know one thing…luke’s got the best mom in the world. ❜

THERE WAS SOMETHING FREEING about talking about scott like this. how he didn’t know that the man she’d defend until the cows came home was him. it was a freedom she was only granted with him— sharon knew the bad parts of the situation all too well, and had her own thoughts on it. kyle was just happy to be there when he could. but scott didn’t know that the mystery man was him.

despite how freeing it felt— it hurt to keep it from him. but it would’ve been selfish to tell him now. she knew how he was. one thing would ruin the life he had built for himself, he’d psych himself out and doubt everything… and at the end of the day— the life he had now was more than anything carol could give him. so she needed to let him have it.

❛ you didn’t know his father. ❜   there was a small smile as she thought about the past. how much she adored how stubborn scott was, but loathed it in herself. maybe when she did it, it reminded her of her father— how she was just like him. how even though he didn’t know it, he had carol wrapped around his finger— just how many jobs she quit because they scheduled her on game days, knowing how much it meant to scott for her to watch him.    ❛ even that... it’s all him. ❜