Pink Diamond's Court

Cooking with Sex Toys

“ I feel like, with the veins, that’s too penis-like. ” “ it’s not sexual! none of this is sexual, right? ” “ oh that is a golden boi! ” “ I’m white so salt and pepper is all I know for spices. ” “ you’re gonna fucking choke and die, dude! ” “ this is gonna be really good for a select group of people. ” “ he looked you right in the eyes! ” “ he didn’t say a god damned thing! ”

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot

“ cleanliness is next to godliness and we are about to die. ” “ I’ve only heard moms talk about neti pots, ” “ push a baby out your vagina, shove water up your nose! ” “ if we die, arrowhead water is to blame. ” “ amoebas are a large single-celled organism that is capable of tearing your brain apart. ” “ if you shove regular tap water that has not been boiled for five minutes, up your nose, you will die! ” “ if you kill us, we will haunt you. as ghosts. ” “ I’m sinus-rich! ” “ it’s almost like a drowning sensation. ” “ thanks, man, I’m glad you’re here to guide me through this. ”

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls

“ I can’t get my mouth on that! ” “ this is the power…  of my lungs! ” “ but I have asthma! ” “ I’m gonna see how close the closest closing store is. ” “ I know that this is a bike shop but I’m trying to blow up a large tube… ” “ stand up, I’m gonna get on my knees for you. ” “ you kicked me in the dick! ”

Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat

“Art that sound ridiculous.“ “I’ve been calling it, meep-morp.“ 

✴ Multi-muse roleplay blog for Lapis Lazuli & Peridot from Steven Universe

✴ I have 5 years of roleplay experience

@pinkcourted

“Oh! You’re right! We can!” She realised, beaming in delight as she took Pearl’s hand.

“Shall we dance, then?”

@pinkcourted

❝ Pink... I realized something! W-We’re alone! We... we can... ❞ She glances around quickly just for safety. ❝ We can... fuse! ❞ She loved fusing with the other, it was freeing, comforting... It was nice.

“Are you blind? That was clearly MY toothbrush.”

“I don’t care if you knocked your toothbrush into the trash, you’re not using mine.”

“If you don’t wash the dishes next time, you’re either getting drop kicked or kicked out. Whichever is easiest.”

“Keep your hands off my food or I’m taking them off for you.”

“The next time you play your stupid music that early, I’m going to powderize your bones.”

“SOME of us try to have consistent sleep schedules, [Name].”

“You can say you’re studying all you want, we both know you plan on getting high until three in the morning.”

“No, you can’t have a party tonight, are you kidding me?”

“I’ll handle the cooking since you somehow caught the water on fire last time.”

“What do you mean ‘this is normal’? No sane person keeps THAT many rubber ducks in their bathroom!”

“We have a test first thing in the morning, I didn’t sign up for you to be testing me TONIGHT.”

“Why were you screaming? …Did you see a spider or a mouse this time?”

“You are so lucky I tolerate you. Anyone else would’ve murdered you by now.”

“You’re just upset that my music is better than yours, nerd.”

“Oh come on! Friends share their food all the time!”

“Hey, so… I kinda maybe accidentally got food on your bed sheets? Please don’t be mad.”

“Wait, which one was your toothbrush again…? Because I might’ve used it.”

“I really don’t get why you’re upset about the bathroom ducks. They’re so friendly.”

“Not to be that guy, but I’m gonna throw a party tonight, so can you maybe be a loser somewhere else?”

“I’m sorry you had to find me blacked out in the bathtub last night.”

“Oh, this is your notebook? ..Should I not have drawn dicks on the empty pages then?”

“I get that you’re a neat freak, but the next time you move stuff around in my room, I’m going to deck you.”

“We’re friends, right? Cool, because I have a problem and I’m less stressed if you’re involved.”

“I just saw a spider on my bed and if you don’t handle it right now, I’m gonna permanently sleep in YOUR bed.”

“I can cook just fine! Sometimes I just have my off days!”