i don’t know what i’m doing.

we wouldn’t have made it so bad,

while grinning on the phone wondering if it’s too early to say it.

holding back saying “i love you” in may,

it makes sense

i was consumed by you while you kept me at a distance

you were yourself while i was a reflection of you

and then i have lunch with the people who saw me at my lowest,

and are still choosing to have me in their life,

i realize that even if there is no hope for me,

i hope everything is exactly the same,

except i hug my friends a little tighter,

the past lives inside me as a part of my soul always longing for familiarity,

memories try to escape with every heartbeat,

where do i put it?

this new feeling stirring inside of me.

talking, laughing, kissing,