alpha men

(Drew Connors, left, and Zeke Davis, Baylor University students smoking cigars to celebrate their win at the school’s startup competition.)

Two Baylor University students have won their school’s 2025 Startup Showcase with a novel app aimed to “improve campus relations between Alphas and fags.” Drew Connors, 21, a finance and entrepreneurship double major, and Zeke Davis, 20, a business management major, participated in the annual competition hosted by the business school that welcomed pitches from 15 teams of pioneering young men.

The winners’ KeepItLocked app has been a sensation on campus since its release seven months ago. When the program rolled out, the design was simple, Davis said. “So basically you make a faggot put on this chastity device which doesn’t let it get hard or anything and keeps it real compliant and then the fags are registered on the app so Alphas can demand service and punish them when they want.“

As their pitch highlighted, the app’s need was driven by continued tensions between the student Queer Society on the one hand and the Interfraternity Council and Athletic Association on the other. The latter two refused to investigate or discipline any student or group alleged to have participated in a violent “fagbashing night” last year that saw 31 queer students beaten and thousands of dollars in private property damage. University administrators claimed the student groups were responsible for self-policing and did not get involved.

KeepItLocked is a versatile platform with several functions for Straight users to enjoy. A main feature of the app is its ability to scan a locked user’s cage to leave reviews for other Alphas and, if necessary, add additional time to their chastity sentence. The chance of release is a key incentive for locked users to provide the highest quality service and show proper respect and obedience to their Alphas, the app’s founders noted.

The app also includes a call function which identifies the closest available locked user and commands it to present itself before the Alpha by kissing his feet. Locked users who do not present themselves have their sentences automatically extended one month. However, Connors and Davis indicated they are looking into installing a shock function in future models to compel submission.

The stunning growth of the app at Baylor undoubtedly contributed to the pair’s win and has been an encouraging sign to national Straight Rights activists. “At first we started out pretty small, only a couple of fags were caged and registered on the app, but once we started bringing in more Straight Men offering up their sweaty feet and pits practically every fag on campus was begging to be locked up,” Connors said.

Once a few locked users were on the app and providing services, the creators started sharing access to their teammates and fraternity brothers. Two Alphas are needed to verify the account of another Alpha to ensure that only “truly Superior Men can enjoy using the dirty faggots,” according to the duo’s presentation.

The app’s success at tamping down campus tensions has been applauded by administrators and some faculty. In the three months prior to the competition, zero claims of queer-based hate crimes had been filed, the first time since the data has been recorded.

Henry Johnson, Baylor’s Dean of Students, remarking on the app’s role in eliminating homophobia on campus, declared how proud he was of the students’ ingenuity and dedication to improving the lives of their fellow students.

(Friends of KeepItLocked founders, from left, Jackson Green, Dan Martin, Conrad Schaffer, and Nicholas Palakis, all in attendance.)

In brief interviews with Straight friends of the competition winners who came to show their support, praise for the app was universal.

Jackson Green, a forward on the soccer team said, “The app is great! We used to have to beat the ever-loving shit out of those faggots to keep them from talking back. Now all it takes is a swift kick to the balls and extra time in their tiny dick cages for them to do whatever we want. Don’t tell the dean, but I got a faggot doing most of my homework while its sissy ‘boyfriend’ sucks my toes. But I’m a nice guy, so when it gets me an A on one of my papers I like to give it one of my used condoms filled with Straight Alpha jizz.”

Dan Martin, Vice President of Tau Kappa Epsilon reported his many uses for the locked users. “At the frat, I kind of run everything so I’ve always got locked fags cooking for the house, cleaning, doing laundry and serving us at parties and stuff. A couple of the fags, uh, ‘volunteered’ to be urinals when we throw ragers, but we still tie them up naked and kneeling…for the fun of it.”

Conrad Schaffer, a member of Pi Kappa Phi and the football team commented, “I love the punishments I can dole out with the app. A couple days ago, I ordered a faggot to lick my muddy football cleats for 3 hours while I watched tape. Even after all that time they didn’t look “just like new” as I clearly demanded so I added 3 weeks to its lockup. It complained that its tongue was sore and its mouth was dry so before I went out drinking I told it to lick the tops of my flip-flops for another 3 hours. My foot sweat would be sure to moisten its filthy mouth. But of course, the fag couldn’t do that either. When it finished, the outline of my soles and discoloration from the sweat that had built up over years of wearing them were still visible. So I added another 6 weeks and told it to get out.”

When asked how this app might impact the growing straight rights movement taking the country by storm, Nicholas Palakis, President of the campus chapter of StraightUp, a youth-centered Straight Rights organization said, “We are on the verge of a cultural renaissance, a moment when Straight Men take their rightful dominion over this country and crush the weak queers that have disgraced it. Drew and Zeke are leading the way, taking these homos by the balls and reminding them that they serve us. Even faggot professors are starting to learn their place and locking their puny dicks up for their Straight Superiors. Once they’re under control we know how to put them to work arguing for Straight Rights against their other degenerate colleagues.”

KeepItLocked’s founders will take home a $100,000 cash prize for winning the competition and are already fielding investment interest from Baylor alumni. Conners and Davis are looking to expand operations and introduce the app to other universities in the coming months.