So One of my best friends in my life, in my mind at least, was Kevin ‘Ayaquah’ Nollenberg. I was a best man in his four day wedding festival in New Mexico. He has my father’s ashes hanging from their ‘sacred tree’ in their backyard. Braiding Autonomous Collaborative Organizational Networks was an acronym he helped me come up with in my pickup truck outside of the general store of Candy Kitchen, NM, where we hosted Howling at the Moon events. I thought of them as family. No one informed me of his passing, nor does anyone respond to my messages, or inquiries. I have no idea why this is the case. For me, this encapsulates the concept of ‘ghosting’ for me. My guess is some rumor, or thing began making the rounds about me in my old friend networks of New Mexico that ‘poisoned’ the well so to speak. This is a hypothesis only because they, like most of my family, suddenly ceased to interact with me completely. I can tell you it hurt me to the core these last three years. My mother didn’t tell me about my cousin Ben dying. My sister never informed me of my brother-in-law I have known since I was six years old had a memorial service after his death. I cared for him very much. What I have realized is this, the reason is irrelevant for the ‘ghosting’. When my understanding did not exist when seeing these things, their actions told me, ‘They want me to be dead. The only thing they might notice and respond to is my death.’ This thought is revealing. What it demonstrates is a NEED of external validation, and internal immaturity if all involved. Seeing this allowed me to release this false truth. The physical response is still learning this is so, yet the understanding allows me to release the need of it. Good bye my friend, All are one, as one day, we too will be. Till then, I shall see clearly my path to Now. https://www.instagram.com/p/ClkKZwkLCzd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
