Journal Entry 1 - The Struggle to Change
I know you have had a rough passed couple of weeks.
Things have been crazy.
Your thoughts an emotions have been all over the place.
You have started to love yourself, and become the person you used to be.
I believe you have realized the following:
Willpower/Self control = Win
Delayed Gratification = Win
How to play the capitalism game,
what you need to do to win the game,
Some of your weaknesses,
Some solutions to those weaknesses,
that you are more than just your habits,
that motivation is key to success and happiness,
quitting smoking would be ADVANTAGEOUS to you
that confidence in one’s self is key to success and happiness,
to think of tasks in terms of time,
that you don’t always need to be thinking,
that you have a severe habit of negative thinking,
that you need to learn to be friends with and entertain yourself,
that your program (your consciousness) is very different from others due to the household you came from,
you need to exert effort and use your willpower to reprogram your brain around who you are to the best of your ability,
that you CAN be happy if you can change your habits to those demanded by the system and counter your weaknesses using any means necessary,
you need to keep a schedule,
you need to maintain things,
the act of planning helps your remember more about what you are doing,
thinking through your plan for the next morning or before a task will make you more likely to complete that task,
you need to practice committing to things,
you need to practice following through with what you say you will do and stuff in general,
you need to arrive earlier to appointments to account for potential problems (bus running late, traffic, etc),
the stimulus we take in/-our environments and the systems we put in place that govern our lives shape us into the people we are
stimulus + systems + environments = our habits and our mindset (to some degree)
you need to pracice putting down stuff that makes you feel good in the moment (apex),
you need to improve your attention span,
you need to read more,
you are not an idiot,
self love is key to success and happiness,
self care is key to success and happiness,
you can use music as a tool,
you can get stuff done, and listen to music, rather than watching youtube,
I gtg to bed,
Your priorities are not just playing video games,
you can change who you are,
you know a lot about the human psyche,
you need to train yourself, like a dog brah,
you can make yourself, or at least your habits more in line with the habits and skills of those our society rewards,
I gtg to bed,
You need to foster a relationship with yourself,
being present in the tasks you re doing is key to success and happiness,
accepting what happened, where you are, and your life right now is key to happiness and success,
consistent effort over time, thinking in tasks in terms of time, tackling problems in segmented chunks, breaking down problems to avoid feeling over whelmed, taking time to just think and try to improve your life in some way, are all keys to success
you should make a “dream board,”
you need to revamp your system or conform to them more,
you need to practice double checking your work,
I may already have most of these skills, acknowledge that it is possible that there are only a few emotional issues that, if rectified, could take care of many of these problems. I believe that this solution stems from my relationship with myself.
YOUR PRIORITIES ARE SELF LOVE, WORK, SCHOOL, DOING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO, PRACTICING THESE NEW HABITS ( EG WILLPOWER, SELF LOVE, HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, ACTUALLY LOOKING AT THESE FUCKING THINGS I WRITE, ETC)
DOING THIS STUFF WOULD BE ADVANTAGEOUS FOR YOUR CAUSE.
I have to go bed.
I know this is a lot, I know it will be hard, and I know your are afraid, but you can do this, and I am here with you the whole way. I got you dude. We got this.
